learning

Welcome to the fifth in a six part series of short (3 minute) videos that explore the new topic I’ve been developing: Rekindling The Spark – Navigating Mid-Life Malaise.

Today’s focus: Malaise – What can you do to find your way through?

The final video in this series will be released two weeks from now.

Just click on the image below to access the video for this episode. Enjoy!

Watch for the final PAT ANSWERS Video in this series:

• Episode #6: Malaise – How do you help those caught in the grip?

If you missed the earlier episodes in the series, you can catch up here:

• Episode #1: Malaise – What is it anyway?
• Episode #2: Malaise – Who cares? Why does it matter?
• Episode #3: Malaise – Isn’t it just an ‘old folks’ problem?
• Episode #4: Malaise – How do people meet the challenge?

NEWS NOTES

Engagement Series:

The first module in the Engagement Series that I am delivering for the University of Saskatchewan Edwards School of Business is already sold out with a waiting list.

There may, however, be a few spots left in modules two and three. Check here for details on the programs and registration info.

Travel Cost Savings:

In addition to speaking at programs in and around Saskatoon, I now know that I will be presenting at events in these locations in the months ahead:

• Toronto (late April)
• Leduc (May)
• Edmonton & Regina (June)
• Calgary (October)

If you might be needing a speaker for an event or a professional development program in one of those locations around those times, give me a call (306-934-1807). I’m always happy to save on travel time, and share travel costs between clients whenever possible.

Reflection: Loss of opportunity – imagined or real – small, medium or large – can be a stressful thing. More than once in my life I’ve been frustrated by an outcome – or lack thereof – only to discover that what ended up happening was just as good or better. Maybe that’s happened to you, too.

I recently ‘lost’ a potential speaking engagement that I was eager to undertake and thought was a sure thing. As it turned out, on the scheduled day of the event, the weather delivered freezing rain and ice-glazed roads.

Had the contract come through, I would have been facing a treacherous drive or a tough decision about whether to go or not. In the end, I was content to be spending the day in my office, safe and dry.

We recently made a special trip for breakfast to a top chef’s restaurant. Featured attraction: eggs benny on a salmon cake. Mmmmm. My mouth watered in anticipation and then soured in disappointment. A glance at the menu and a word from the server confirmed that this was a weekend brunch special. We’d missed it by a day.

After a brief pout, I reset my expectations and ordered another breakfast specialty: carbonara flatbread. It turned out to be a delicious treat I would otherwise have missed.

I could go on – as could you – with examples of disappointments far more serious and far more trivial. But, I’m sure you get the drift.

Action: The ability to make peace with disappointment and embrace what arrives in its place is a keystone of resilience and an antidote to stress. Too strong an attachment to preconceived notions about how things were supposed to go (or should have been) will keep you stuck every time. (more…)

Welcome to the first in a six part series of short (3 minute) videos that explore the new topic I’ve been developing: Rekindling The Spark – Navigating Mid-Life Malaise.

Today’s focus: Malaise – What Is It Anyway? Other topics in this series will be released in the weeks ahead. For details on what’s coming up, see below.

Just click on the image below to access the video for this episode. Enjoy!

Watch for upcoming PAT ANSWERS Videos in this series:

• Episode #2: Malaise – Who cares? Why does it matter?
• Episode #3: Malaise – Isn’t it just an ‘old folks’ problem?
• Episode #4: Malaise – How do people deal with the challenge?
• Episode #5: Malaise –  What can you do to find your way through?
• Episode #6: Malaise –  How do you help those caught in the grip?

NEWS NOTES:

Engagement Series – I’m partnering with the Edwards School of Business at the University of Saskatchewan to deliver three spring sessions as part of a brand new Engagement Series. Sessions include: Fueling Enthusiasm, Boosting Energy & Tapping Passion. Sign up for one or save a bundle by registering for all three. This link takes you to the Engagement Series Info.

Pick Me – Are you one of the 94 Pause readers who have already entered your name in the draw to celebrate my 30 years in biz? If not, you’ll find the scoop on the three prizes and entry details at Celebrating The Leap.

Reflection: I’ve noticed that one thing that keeps me from saying yes to a new opportunity or direction (be it a volunteer request, work task, or membership) is the feeling that having signed on, I’ll be locked in F-O-R-E-V-E-R. The prospect of forever gets heavy in a hurry!

And, so, I’m playing with the idea of looking at life’s opportunities more as a series of projects – or experiments – each with a beginning, a middle and an end.

For example, I gifted myself with a pair of Nordic walking poles to start the new year. And, I set myself a project goal of taking them out for a hike on each of the first 28 days of the new year. Not forever – just for 28 days. And, so I did! And so it’s done. Not that I won’t do more…but it’s an option – not a burden.

I’ve set myself the goal of creating a series of 12 paintings under the umbrella theme of ‘Simple Pleasures. I’m halfway there, and enjoying the fact that experimenting with these images is neither a life sentence nor an endless commitment. It’s just plain fun at the moment.

This year, I’m planning to continue publishing Pause in the traditional format (like this) every second week. To spice things up, in the weeks in between, I’m going to play with a series of projects. First up will be a series of six short videos under the umbrella title, Pat Answers. They’ll explore questions readers have raised about the challenges of malaise and rekindling life’s spark.

What projects and experiments will follow remains to be seen. But there’s one thing I know for sure. I feel lighter already! (more…)

Reflection: Sometimes it seems to me that the more we ‘know’, the tougher life gets. Our certainty about situations can lead to a hardening of the ‘heart-eries’, and ultimately more stress and frustration.

Certainty says: This is good and that is bad, or I am right and you are wrong.

Certainty can lead us to repeat the same actions with greater force and speed, exhausting ourselves as we create ever more disappointing results.

If you’ve ever been stuck in a snowbank and continued to step on the gas, certain that just a few more spins of the tires will be sure to get you out, you know what I mean. It doesn’t work. You simply dig yourself a deeper hole. Things get worse, not better.

A more helpful way of ‘c’-ing can be to substitute curiosity for certainty.

Curiosity leads us to look more closely at what’s happening or not happening and invites us to experiment in new ways with the potential for better – or at least different – outcomes.

Action: The next time you find yourself rooted in certainty, try being more curious about other ideas and ways of being. (more…)

My Thoughts: Well, truth be told, there is no Fred. It just rhymes so well, I couldn’t resist!

However, there was indeed a date with TED. On October 24^th here in Saskatoon, I delivered a TEDX talk titled: Lighting A Spark – Navigating Mid Life Malaise.

My gift to you today, is the link to that message. A click of either the image or the title will take you to the video.

What’s it about? Causes of malaise, common responses, a three-step process to help you navigate your way through life’s transitional fog, and examples of others who are making their way to what comes next.

Grab a coffee. Take a look and give a listen.

Your Thoughts: I hope the ideas in the video help you think more deeply about rekindling your own spark when your fire grows dim.

I welcome your comments, reactions and insights. Fire away!

News Notes: Since delivering this 17-minute TEDX talk, I’ve expanded the message into a 60-90 minute keynote. With more time, I’m able to explore how this issue plays out in organizations, how we can support others as they attempt to rekindle their sparks, and to share more real life examples of ways that people restore excitement and engagement to their lives. (more…)

My Thoughts: I’m all for optimism and uplifting thoughts, but sometimes they don’t come easy, and sometimes simply choosing happy may not serve us well in the long run.

As we’ve seen with the recent terrorist attacks in Paris and so many other places in the world, frightening and unexpected events drop into people’s lives with no warning and dire consequences.

Those experiences fuel reactions and feelings that aren’t easily sidelined by substituting light and uplifting thoughts. Nor should we expect that to be the case.

A wise friend recently reminded me that sometimes we need to pause in the shadows to touch a fear that is all too real and oh so present. It matters that we take the time to be with those tougher emotions and not just speed through them or try to avoid them on our way to a lighter, brighter place.

A deeper understanding of what matters most to us springs from being present to both the dark and the light. (more…)

My Thoughts:

This is such a compassionate message. So often, I talk with people who do and have been doing such great things.

Yet they often say they are falling short of their ideal performance and not living up to their own expectations – much less the expectations of others.

Could it be, as Burchard suggests, sometimes we are simply tired? Worn out from pushing and pressing so hard for so long?

Or perhaps we’ve grown weary from going through the motions of life’s old familiar routines, and are just a tad too worn down to even consider something new? (more…)

Reflection: Seaports are fascinating places.

What I most enjoy watching are the tiny but powerful tug boats as they guide the larger Mother Ships in from and out to the sea.

Tugs are built for action not for show – rarely shiny nor streamlined in shape or finish. But despite their lack of polish, the port would be a mess without them. They’re essential in moments of transition.

Watch them at work and you’ll see they apply pressure in different ways. Some nose in at a right angle to the ship and nudge from the side. Some work in tandem from both sides at once.

Some tugs latch on up front and tow the ship in the desired direction. Some push from the rear – adding power from behind to guide the ship through the water.

Tugs help ships avoid collisions, come safely to mooring, navigate through tricky channels, and head confidently out to the open sea.

Action: As we navigate the murky waters of our everyday lives, we too rely on tugs. They may not be as visible as those in port, but they are present nonetheless. (more…)

My Thoughts: 

At one time or another, I’m sure that every parent has ordered a child to ‘Go Outside and Play’.

Translation: stop whining, get some fresh air, and work off some of that misdirected energy.

What if we took that advice to heart ourselves? What if outside meant more than just outdoors?

Suppose outside meant outside our cares, outside our concerns, outside our everyday habits of life and work.

And what if play meant more than riding a bike or kicking a ball?

What if play meant entertaining new ideas, connecting with new people, or trying new things?

Your Thoughts:

Go ahead. Give yourself permission to go outside and play this week!

• What threshold will you step over?
• What world will you explore?
• What difference could it make to your well-being?

News Notes: Big thanks to the 425 of you who have invested the time and responded to the Survey On Malaise. I’ve taken a peak at a few of the early comments and am excited about analyzing the results.

If you’ve been meaning to weigh in, but you’ve been suffering a bit of malaise or overload in your world, there is still time to express your opinions. Survey closes April 30^th. So hop on over today and share your views.

PS – You are most welcome to share the link with colleagues or friends whom you think might also have some valuable input or appreciate a chance for some guided reflection on the concept of malaise.

Mom’s Day Special:
Looking for a Mother’s Day gift to honor a mom in your world? Books last longer than flowers.

Gift her with copies of Press Pause…Press On and Press Pause…Think Again. She’ll appreciate the inspiration and remember your thoughtfulness as she makes her way through the easy reading pages. Each book features 64 of the most impactful Pause messages interspersed with quotes, anecdotes and
sketches as well.

This link will take you to more complete info on the books, including sample excerpts. On the info page, the Duo Deal#1 link will let you place your order for the twins.

PS – For every order placed before May 10^th, I’ll toss in a complimentary copy of the booklet, Take A Break.