Reflection: Sometimes it seems to me that the more we ‘know’, the tougher life gets. Our certainty about situations can lead to a hardening of the ‘heart-eries’, and ultimately more stress and frustration.
Certainty says: This is good and that is bad, or I am right and you are wrong.
Certainty can lead us to repeat the same actions with greater force and speed, exhausting ourselves as we create ever more disappointing results.
If you’ve ever been stuck in a snowbank and continued to step on the gas, certain that just a few more spins of the tires will be sure to get you out, you know what I mean. It doesn’t work. You simply dig yourself a deeper hole. Things get worse, not better.
A more helpful way of ‘c’-ing can be to substitute curiosity for certainty.
Curiosity leads us to look more closely at what’s happening or not happening and invites us to experiment in new ways with the potential for better – or at least different – outcomes.
Action: The next time you find yourself rooted in certainty, try being more curious about other ideas and ways of being.
When you find yourself irritated by the behavior of others, try being more curious about what might be giving rise to their actions.
When you are disappointed by a plan that has run aground, try being more curious about the reasons things may have gone sideways.
Curiosity gives rise to new learning and fresh possibilities, helping us grow in wisdom and understanding. While certainty keeps us stuck in old ways of being.
What could you be more curious about today that could help you create a better tomorrow?
Quotes Of The Week: Truthfully, we don’t have the faintest idea what to do. Yet this is not an admission of defeat, it’s an invitation to experiment. – Margaret Wheatley
If we freeze our attitude into for or against, we’re setting ourselves up for stress. Instead, we could just go forward with curiosity. – Pema Chodron
Resource Of The Week: I’m really enjoying the ideas and reflections in Margaret Wheatley’s book, Perseverance. Highly recommended as an addition to your Reading Wish List.
Readers Write: In response to the recent message, Are You Predator, Partner or Prey, Pause reader JG writes: This message really resonated with me. In the roles of predator, partner or prey, I have actually observed myself play all three within the same interaction. How interesting and enlightening it is to have an understanding of how these roles might be perceived by others, and how that contributes to the overall outcome. I am happy to recognize this in myself so I can learn to be more of a partner in my conversations and interactions.
Special Offer Of The Season: The special offer that includes 100 copies of Take A Bow, plus an original watercolor painting, and individual copies of each of my other publications continues. You can check out the details by clicking Seasonal Bundle.
Sharing copies of Take A Bow is a great way to encourage and appreciate colleagues, employees, clients, volunteers, committee members, friends and family.
There were only 12 bundles available – fewer now. The painting included in each bundle is a one of a kind original work of art. The image featured here is the artwork that will be tucked in the next bundle that goes out the door.