Reflection: It’s nine o-clock on a Saturday. (Sounds a little Billy Joel-esque, doesn’t it?) However, it’s morning – not evening – and there’s not a piano in sight.
I pull into the parking lot behind the building where I’ll be attending a meeting scheduled to run till 3:30 that afternoon.
A commissionaire is already on hand writing a parking ticket for some poor soul. As I step out of my car to feed the meter for the day, he calls across the lot asking, “Are you staying long?” “About six hours,” is my reply.
He stops writing the ticket, and crosses over to tell me that there are a couple of meters in the lot that aren’t working. If I park at one of those, I can do so all day long for free.
He suggests I get back in the car, and he’ll guide me to one of the freebies. I do, and he does.
I express my thanks. His reply, “Glad I was here to help you out!” And off he goes.
As I turn the corner from the parking lot headed for my meeting, Billy (not his real name) approaches. (more…)
PAUSE – 15.13 – Get Out There And Play
April 29, 2015
My Thoughts:
At one time or another, I’m sure that every parent has ordered a child to ‘Go Outside and Play’.
Translation: stop whining, get some fresh air, and work off some of that misdirected energy.
What if we took that advice to heart ourselves? What if outside meant more than just outdoors?
Suppose outside meant outside our cares, outside our concerns, outside our everyday habits of life and work.
And what if play meant more than riding a bike or kicking a ball?
What if play meant entertaining new ideas, connecting with new people, or trying new things?
Your Thoughts:
Go ahead. Give yourself permission to go outside and play this week!
What threshold will you step over?
What world will you explore?
What difference could it make to your well-being?
News Notes: Big thanks to the 425 of you who have invested the time and responded to the Survey On Malaise. I’ve taken a peak at a few of the early comments and am excited about analyzing the results.
If you’ve been meaning to weigh in, but you’ve been suffering a bit of malaise or overload in your world, there is still time to express your opinions. Survey closes April 30th. So hop on over today and share your views.
PS – You are most welcome to share the link with colleagues or friends whom you think might also have some valuable input or appreciate a chance for some guided reflection on the concept of malaise.
Mom’s Day Special: Looking for a Mother’s Day gift to honor a mom in your world? Books last longer than flowers.
Gift her with copies of Press Pause…Press On and Press Pause…Think Again. She’ll appreciate the inspiration and remember your thoughtfulness as she makes her way through the easy reading pages. Each book features 64 of the most impactful Pause messages interspersed with quotes, anecdotes and
sketches as well.
This link will take you to more complete info on the books, including sample excerpts. On the info page, the Duo Deal#1 link will let you place your order for the twins.
PS – For every order placed before May 10th, I’ll toss in a complimentary copy of the booklet, Take A Break.
PAUSE – 15.11- Can You See It Now?
April 15, 2015
My Thoughts:
Kazantzakis suggests we already have at hand what we need to create a more ideal future.
Could it be that our own lack of vision or lack of action are all that may be holding us back?
Your Thoughts:
What’s your vision of Paradise? What’s already at hand that could move you in that direction?
What’s your next step? And, when will you take it?
News Notes:
Uninspired. Unsettled. Uneasy. Lifeless. Restless. Joyless. Stuck. Have you been there?
I’m talking about malaise – that generalized feeling of being ‘out of sorts’. It grinds away and wears us down, robbing our lives of spirit, energy and joy.
As I mentioned in last week’s Pause, I’m doing some writing and programming on the subject of malaise.
Experience tells me that the more deeply I understand a phenomenon, the stronger my work, and the more helpful it will be to others.
To that end, I’m inviting you to weigh in with your thoughts and experiences. This link will take you to an online Survey on Malaise that will take 5-10 minutes to complete.
I’m most grateful for your help. A thousand thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom.
Pause – 15.07 – Will You Leave Them Smiling?
March 18, 2015
My Thoughts:
So many of our everyday exchanges are predictable, dull and matter of fact.
What if we made it our business to add a bit more warmth or life to our conversations?
A smile. A compliment. A light hearted remark. A genuine expression of concern.
Each effort on our part could make a huge difference to someone else.
Your Thoughts:
What could you do or say that might leave someone smiling today?
What will you do?
And who are those people with the goofy grins on their faces as you walk out the door?
News Notes:
One of the reasons that I write these weekly Pause messages is that I know they bring a touch of sanity to an overwhelming world.
Many of you tell me how much you value Pause as a breath of fresh air in the middle of your week.
I’m eager to extend the impact of Pause, and would appreciate your help in growing the list of subscribers. (more…)
PAUSE – 15.05 – What’s Waiting For You?
March 4, 2015
My Thoughts: This week I’m saying goodbye to the self-created expectation (and 14 year practice) of publishing a ‘full featured’ Pause message every single week.
Every second week, I’ll be alternating the traditional version with a simpler more visual message like this. Makes me wonder what’s around the corner waiting to greet me.
Your Thoughts:
What do you think about Coelho’s observation?
To what might you be ready to say goodbye?
What might be lingering around the corner waiting for you to make more space for it in your life?
News Notes: I’ve had a couple of clients ask me recently, “Pat, with all the traveling and painting that you are doing these days, are you still speaking?” (more…)
PAUSE – 15.03– Could You Be A More Reassuring Presence?
February 25, 2015
Reflection: Skinned knees, broken hearts, failing health, cancelled projects, empty coffers. It’s always something, and in this world of ours there’s no shortage of ‘somethings’. So, how to help?
A toddler who falls and scrapes his knee needs a band-aid and a hug, and our reassurance that things are going to be all right.
A friend who is reeling from a challenging health diagnosis needs us to hold steady in the moment of crisis, acknowledge the fear and uncertainty, and reassure her that we’re there for the long haul.
In the face of excessive loads, overwhelm and setbacks, our colleagues at work need reassurance, too – just not in a hug and band-aid sort of way.
They need us to acknowledge their distress and express confidence that somehow we’ll get through this together – that we’ll be all right.
All right doesn’t mean perfect or stress-free. The present may well be painful, the road forward rocky, and the outcome less than ideal. All right means that we trust we’ll have the resilience to make it through, and the strength to deal with whatever comes up.
The most helpful form of reassurance is far more than a blithe and condescending: “There there, you poor thing. It’ll all be better soon.” Instead, it comes from a deep sense of presence, a genuine feeling of care and understanding, and compassionate expression.
Action: There are many ways to be a more reassuring presence in the lives of others at work and at home. Here are four to get you started: (more…)
PAUSE – 15.02 – Sharpen Your Pencils Today
February 11, 2015
Reflection: My grandson, Ethan, loves to draw. Inspired by video games and animations, he creates delightfully quirky characters all his own.
Last year we gifted him with a box of drawing pencils, a new sketchpad and a cool pencil sharpener. He was thrilled.
When I recently asked him how he liked the pencils, he told me he hadn’t used them yet. He is saving them up to draw something really good. He doesn’t want to waste them, to sharpen them down, and use them up too fast.
I encouraged him to crack that box open now, and promised that when they were all used up I’d buy him another set. No special occasion required.
At nearly eight years of age, he seems already to have adopted a ‘save the good things for later’ mindset.
It’s the same kind of thinking that causes us as adults to keep the good china safely in the cabinet, a vintage car locked in the garage, a special dress or a tux under plastic in the closet, and a fine bottle of wine tucked away in the dark of the basement.
That kind of thinking can also lead us to keep our best talents – our light and our uniqueness – hidden under a proverbial bushel basket.
What are we waiting for? Why are we robbing ourselves of the joy of using these fine and beautiful things?
Reflection: I’ve been thinking a lot about contentment. You may recall that I first wrote about this concept back in September, in a Pause message titled How do YOU Cultivate Contentment.
What is it? Mainly a state of satisfaction, an ease of being, a peace of mind. That makes contentment the antithesis of envy, striving and anxiety. It’s a state of mind in which we find a way to be at ease and at peace – perhaps even happy – with our lot in life at the moment. It’s an inward disposition – a mindset – and it’s not a choice that someone else can make for us.
In a world of overwhelm and overload, contentment is an oasis, an island of tranquility. While the feeling may or may not last long, in the moment it soothes, uplifts, and brings us joy.
You’ve probably seen contentment in the sleepy milk fed expression of a baby nodding off to dreamland. You’ve maybe seen contentment writ large across the faces of doting elders in the presence of their grand and great grandchildren.
It seems that those of us in the busy years between new life and nearer death lose touch with both the idea and experience of contentment.
My wish for you as this year winds to a close, is that you find ways to tap into contentment – wherever you are and whatever your state. It ‘s not necessary for all to be perfect, done, or as we might wish it to be. Simply appreciate who you are and what you have in the moment, and know that a sense of wonder and a spirit of gratitude are afoot.
As the new year approaches, with its new resolutions and fresh intentions, consider adding cultivating contentment to your list of goals, and see how it enriches your world.
I’ve been collecting thoughts and quotes on contentment to share with you as a way of closing out 2014. I hope you enjoy reading and reflecting on these thoughts.
May you welcome contentment into your world with open arms. Blessings to you all.
Reflection: Every once in a while, an experience rolls around that lifts us up – if we let it work its magic. A few years ago, I was named to the Canadian Speakers Hall of Fame. Arriving at the podium after my name had been called, I struggled to pull myself together so that I might offer a few words of appreciation. A colleague on stage behind me leaned forward and whispered two words in my direction: “Own it!”
It was such a powerful phrase, uttered at such an emotional moment, that I’ve never forgotten it. That idea allowed me to step into the honor that was directed my way and to try it on for size.
Artist Owen Swain notes that many people have developed the habit of downplaying their abilities and contributions. He observes: People who are artists kill or stilt the gift by endless comparison. They say, “If only I drew/painted like you. So and so has a big blog following, is selling at Gallery Fancy Schmancy, or has a CV the length of Highway 401. Me? I just make scratches in my sketchbook.”
It’s not just creative types who are susceptible to minimizing their success and downplaying their contributions. I’ve seen this behavior put in an appearance in many different occupations and roles. Maybe you are that person, yourself, or perhaps you know someone who has developed this dispiriting habit.
Action: We live in a world where life experiences can wear us down – leaving us feeling overwhelmed or undervalued. ‘Owning It’ can be a helpful, uplifting counterpoint.
Try owning your skills and owning your offerings. Own what you have done in the past, and what you are doing now.
Take pleasure in your contributions. Enjoy the fact that you are able to put some of your best skills to work in the service of others – or simply able to use those abilities for the sheer joy of it.
Encourage those around you to do the same. Let them know how you see them, and how you value what they do and who they are.
When you help yourself and others ‘Own It’, you’ll see how that practice builds enthusiasm and confidence for what comes next.
Quotes Of The Week: We can’t stop comparing ourselves to others by trying to stop. We can only fall in love with our own adventure more. – Tara Mohr
Own who you are. – Owen Swain
Resource Of The Week: If you stress yourself with feelings of inadequacy because you don’t seem to be living up to the ideal you have in mind, you might find an idea or two to address that challenge in Tara Mohr’s article: If you Find Yourself Comparing Yourself To Others.
Incidentally, Mohr has just released her new book titled, Playing Big. Looks like it might be an interesting read.
Readers Write: In response to the recent message, Doubting Your Value? Know That You Matter, Pause readers JM writes: Your pause made me think about the movie, Midnight in Paris. The main character magically travels back in time to the 1920s during the time of Picasso and Hemingway, seeing that as the best time. When we are nostalgic for a time other than our own we are not celebrating our life currently. We wish for a time when we think we might be more special, happier, acknowledged.
PAUSE – 14.31 – Doubting Your Value? Know That You Matter!
October 22, 2014
Reflection: In life’s daily give and take, slog and grind, tug and pull, it’s easy to question whether what you do or who you are really matters. Many times I’ve felt discouraged or hopeless or useless and found myself asking, ‘What’s the point?” Maybe you have, too.
Along the way I’ve learned that fostering a sense of significance – believing that we do, in fact, matter – is very much an inside job. Others cannot fill a hole in our hearts or a need in our lives that is of our own making.
Action: In those dark moments of self-doubt about self-worth, here are a handful of tactics you might find helpful in shifting from dismay to delight. (more…)
Reflection: It’s nine o-clock on a Saturday. (Sounds a little Billy Joel-esque, doesn’t it?) However, it’s morning – not evening – and there’s not a piano in sight.
