Yeah, you! If you’re the one with the endless list of things to do. The one who always volunteers for that last minute job, chairs the committees, works the extra shifts, hauls the kids, hosts the socials, and generally goes the extra mile!
Yeah, you! If you’re the one who puts yourself at the bottom of those lists in invisible ink. The one who makes sure everybody else leaves on time, remembers their vitamins, books their vacations, and gets those pats on the back.
Might you be feeling just a tad overwhelmed by all you’ve undertaken or a tad under-valued from being taken for granted?
Well, stop right there! It’s time for a glance in the mirror and a heart to heart chat!
Whether you realize it or not, you matter! And not just because of all you do in support of those around you. You matter simply because you are who you are and you’re here. And, by the way, in case you missed the memo – you are enough!
Whether you hear it from others or not – you do make a difference in the lives of those around you. Just don’t be making that contribution from a feeling of lack, an overactive sense of duty, nor at the expense of your own wellbeing! Take care of you, too! Take time to be with you, too.
Reflection & Action: It was bright and early Sunday morning, and our then four year old grandson was on the other end of the phone – brimming with enthusiasm and bubbling over with news.
“Guess what I’m having for breakfast? Toast with jam and TWO slices of cheese. Orange and white cheese – marble cheese. Marble, that’s funny! And, Mommy made me a Smoothie, too. It is SO good. And, you know what she bought me yesterday at the grocery store? Cheese strings. THOSE are my favorite. And, I’m watching the Cat In The Hat video. And he’s bouncing on the bed. I like to do that, too. AND, I get to go swimming today! I am having a VERY Lucky Day!”
That nonstop monologue turned MY groggy morning into a very Lucky Day. How can you NOT smile in the face of that kind of exuberance?
Enthusiasm is infectious. And if you have to come down with something, enthusiasm beats other viruses, hands down!
There’s no doubt, as adults, we have serious things to deal with. Yet, there are times when I know I complicate my life more than is necessary. Maybe you do, too. (more…)
Pause Gem #37 – Small Steps Matter
July 20, 2016
Editor’s Note: For the remainder of the summer, your weekly Pause blog postings will feature the ‘Best of Pause’. These are readers’ favorite messages from the earlier years of the Pause e-zine.
Whether you are a long time subscriber, or new to our list, I sincerely hope you enjoy these messages. Come September, your messages will once again feature all new info and resources.
Reflection & Action: It’s in a backward glance that the patterns often appear. As I think about many things that have unfolded in my own life, I can usually pinpoint one action or one choice that steered me in certain directions.
Saying yes to a summer job my first year of University introduced me to a line of work that ended up changing my college major in the near term, and my career direction over the long haul.
Agreeing to a coffee date with a classmate at University led me to meet and later marry the love of my life.
Writing a letter to the editor of our daily newspaper led to an invitation to write a column, which in turn launched a weekly writing habit that led to publishing the first of five books.
First steps can point us in many directions. Some lead to an uphill climb and others to a downhill slide. Much of life’s progress or regress boils down to our moment by moment choices and actions.
PAUSE – 16.20 – Are You Standing Up & Stepping Out?
June 15, 2016
My Thoughts:
As I grow older, I seem to become less concerned about knowing how things will end before I commit to a start.
Maybe I’m more confident in my ability to handle whatever comes up.
Or maybe I’ve realized that imagining I control the outcomes is mostly an illusion anyway.
I do know that I’ve been around the block enough times to realize that the sheer act of beginning something new opens doors and invites possibilities that are never apparent when you’re hunkered down on the sidelines wondering, ‘Should I…?’
Your Thoughts:
Are you toying with trying something new? Why not find a low risk way to stand up, step out, and test the waters?
Let yourself be surprised and amazed. And, let me know how it goes!
News Notes:
It’s just over a year since I stood up and stepped out to explore the challenges of mid life malaise. Some of you will remember responding to a survey on that topic in early 2015.
Since then, I’ve used the results of that research to craft a variety of programs on Rekindling Spark – Navigating Mid Life Malaise. Over the last six months, I’ve designed and delivered a Ted Talk, a conference keynote, a follow up breakout session, and a half day seminar.
There’s nothing like stepping out and testing new material to see if it makes a contribution and a difference. And, this most certainly does. (more…)
PAUSE – 16.19 – Might You Need to Recalibrate Success?
June 8, 2016
Reflection: Funny creatures we are – us human beings! Sometimes me thinks we thinks too much! Cogitating on this! Judging that! Setting implausible expectations!
A speaker colleague of mine, Ron Culberson, recently observed in his blog post on significance that he feared his Success Meter was not calibrated properly. (Read more about his observations in today’s Resource of the Week link).
By way of example, he reports feeling like he’s failed if, by end of day, he hasn’t done something that registers somewhere between noteworthy and stupendous. I’ve been there myself. Have you?
Last week I spoke for the Spiritual Care Association of Saskatchewan. This is a group of people who face really tough situations every single day.
They provide support for individuals and their families when the prospects for a long life or a speedy recovery are just not there. It’s emotionally demanding work – often with no practical, tangible way to ‘solve the problem’ or ‘make things right’.
In many of those tough, end-of-life moments, it’s simply their presence that they can offer. There’s nothing to be done except be there and be available. And, you know what? That counts a lot.
Action: Are there days when your expectations take a crazymaking tilt? Are there days when you stomp on yourself for falling short of your aspirations? (more…)
PAUSE – 16.17 – Clear The Decks And Lighten The Load
May 25, 2016
Reflection: Life’s been busy these last few weeks with program design and delivery, travel, visits with family and friends, and springtime in the garden. All good things – yet challenging, too.
And so it felt good over the long weekend to experience the positive impact of tidying up. Not in a Marie Kondo ‘tossing things out’ kind of way. The experience was more about making things right – which in turn made things light.
On Friday, my last act in the office (which happens to be in my home) was to clear the desk and stash the miscellany. Everything done? No way. But without visible piles and papers, there was nothing calling my name each time I passed by.
On Saturday, I moved the lawn, trimmed shrubs and weeded a few perennial beds. Finished? No. But a whole lot better than before.
On Sunday, I transplanted flowers sheltering in the garage into pots and planters around the garden. Complete? No. But the garage is empty and that feels great.
On Monday, I tackled many loads of laundry, while dusting and vacuuming the house. Through neglect and spring doings, the place was a disaster from one end to the other. Perfect? Hah! Nothing will ever pass the white glove test in my world! But good enough – with no more garden grit underfoot.
And so, as I write this on Tuesday morning, I’m feeling grounded for having brought a bit more order to my world, and I’m ready to welcome the tasks of the week ahead. (more…)
PAUSE – 16.16 – Time And Time Again
May 18, 2016
My Thoughts: April, May and June are ripe with birthday celebrations in our family. I’ve noticed there’s nothing that marks the passage of time quite so clearly as those annual celebrations of our arrival on this planet.
This quote suggests, “You can’t turn back time, but you can wind it up again!” There’s some truth in that. A good night’s sleep, for instance, tops your tank and gifts you with a brand new day at sunrise.
A fresh interest that challenges you and brings you joy also has a way of ‘turning back time’. It makes you feel more energetic and engaged in life and – if not younger – at least more youthful in spirit.
Your Thoughts: What experiences wind you up again? And are you making time for those things in your life?
And, when was the last time you tried something new or different? Could today be that day?
News Notes: Engagement Series Final Session Still Has A Few Open Spaces
I’ve really enjoyed delivering the first two sessions in a three part Series on Engagement through the University of Saskatchewan Edwards School of Business.
Session One focused on Fueling Enthusiasm. We had a full house of very enthusiastic participants. Some organizations brought several people to the session so they could support each other in applying the ideas back in the workplace.
Session Two focused on Boosting Energy. It was a treat to see how well attendees engaged with those ideas. I know that applying what they learned will pay off for themselves and those around them, too.
Session Three will be focusing on Tapping Passion – Moving Beyond Mid-Life Malaise. It is just around the corner, and will be delivered on the 9th of June here in Saskatoon. There are still a few seats available in the program.
If you’ve been interested in the ideas I’ve been sharing on this topic, here’s your chance to engage with them first hand – to see how they might fit into your own life, and to become a more effective support to others who find themselves in danger of rusting out.
Today’s Pause message is given over to the collective voice of Pause readers.
You may recall, back in February of 2016, I celebrated 30 years in business. As a way of marking the milestone and expressing my gratitude I invited readers to enter a draw for three give-aways. To enter the draw, Pause readers were asked to share a few lines about something they were grateful for in their own lives.
The responses were amazing and inspiring. I thought you might appreciate them, too. And, so I asked contributors for permission to share their gratitudes with the Pause community.
With thanks for the gift of permission from those who said yes, that collection appears here. I hope you find these reflections as insightful and uplifting as I did. Thanks, Pause Readers. You rock!
Pour yourself a cuppa coffee and dive into this pool of Collective Gratitudes.
***
GF writes: I’m grateful for connection. To those who came before me who held me in their arms. To those I walk beside, with hand folded into hand. To those I break a path for, unknown, imagined, loved.
SM writes: I am grateful for becoming more content and accepting of what I bring and contribute to the world.
JCwrites: I am grateful to be alive and healthy. I am grateful to be a mother, wife, sister and daughter, and I am grateful to have insight to recognize that I do the best I can everyday.
MS writes: I’m thankful for so many things; good health, good friends, a wonderful job and a loving family. I am also thankful for unanswered prayers as the song goes. Many times over the course of my life I have tried to head down a particular path because I thought I really wanted or needed to do that; but the universe had other plans for me. Of course I was disappointed and discouraged because I felt that I had somehow missed a huge opportunity. In hindsight the direction my life took was exactly right for me. What I thought I wanted would not have been nearly as fulfilling as where I am now. In spite of myself, I have ended up exactly where I need to be.
PAUSE 16.12 – PAT ANSWERS VIDEO: Malaise – How Do You Help Those Caught In The Grip?
April 20, 2016
Welcome to the final episode in this six part series of short (3 minute) videos that explore the new topic I’ve been developing: Rekindling The Spark – Navigating Mid-Life Malaise.
New subscribers are always joining the Pause e-zine list, as readers share these Pause messages with their friends and colleagues, and as I speak at seminars and conferences.
On occasion, I find it’s helpful to remind longstanding readers and inform new subscribers about print resources that I have created over the years.
So, here is a recap of the books and booklets on offer in the Pause Shop. They relate to the areas I speak about most often: balance/wellness/renewal and encouragement/appreciation/recognition.
You’ll find two collections of previous Pause messages, and two handy quick-read booklets – each jam packed with practical ideas.
Press Pause…Press On – Bringing Balance & Perspective To Work & Life
Press Pause…Think Again – More Balance & Perspective For Work & Life
Take A Break – 67 Ways To Pause When You Absolutely, Positively Do Not Have The Time
Take A Bow – 67 Ways To Pause For Applause, Celebrate Your Success, & Keep Your Spirits High
Click here for the complete listing where you will find excerpts from each publication, details on discounts for quantity purchases, and links to purchase your copies online.
PAUSE – 16.05 – We’re All In This Together
March 2, 2016
Reflection: This Friday, the 4th of March, is Employee Appreciation Day. Of course, exchanging appreciation ought to be an everyday experience. Still, a focused reminder can’t hurt and it might even help.
I recently came across an organization where all who work there are referred to as co-workers – neither bosses nor employees. That title, co-worker, reinforces the idea that we share responsibility for our everyday work experience.
When it comes to appreciation, we are all in it together. I’ve often heard employees say they wish the boss would recognize their efforts. In fact, a recent Harris poll reported that the top complaint of 63% of employees surveyed was that leaders don’t recognize employee achievements.
Not to let leaders off the hook, but all of us, as co-workers, can share that responsibility. Encouragement isn’t limited by rank or status.
And, what if we universally extend this concept of co-workers beyond the walls of our organizations? (more…)
Reflection & Action: Attention over-extended, over-achievers.
