encouragement

Is there someone in your world who is uninspired, apathetic, disinterested? Seems dissatisfied and less than engaged? Shows signs of rusting out, coasting on autopilot or being stuck in the swamp?

Maybe you feel concerned, and you’re not sure how to help. Rest assured, there are things you can do.

The first thing to know – and share – is that malaise is a common and often recurring life experience. At first, each new venture seems fresh and exciting. Eventually it becomes old and familiar.

Understanding that this ‘loss of luster’ is a normal part of the ebb and flow of life reassures those who find themselves mired in the mud.

In a recent survey, 95% of respondents reported they had experienced malaise in their lives. 57% in their forties. 53% in their fifties. 39% in their thirties. And even 20% in their twenties.

Many people experience a dip in satisfaction part way through their lives as they come to terms with unmet expectations. Although life may be ‘good’, it may not feel ‘great’. Some feel discouraged by a loss of passion. They’ve run out of dreams and goals; or they’ve become creatures of habit and stopped learning new things. Others question whether they are really creating the kind of legacy they had hoped to leave along the way.

Sometimes all that’s needed is a sense of possibility. – Rachel Remen

Beyond normalizing the experience, here are other actions you can take to support people as they set about rekindle their enthusiasm for life.

• Reach out to connect and open a conversation. Let them know what you’re noticing. Ask what they think and how they feel about their situation.
• Listen in a deep respectful way. Sometimes what others need most is an opportunity to give voice to what’s going on inside. They may not need or want someone else to step in and try to ‘fix’ the situation. They simply need to hear themselves say out loud the ideas that may be rolling around in their minds or drifting through their subconscious.
• Offer encouragement. Perhaps there is a first step they are already considering, and they could use a cheerleader at the starting line. Letting others know you care about their situation and will be there as they move forward is one way to lift their spirits.
• Share other perspectives and fresh ideas. Maybe you have wrestled with malaise and moved through it in your own life, but not yet shared that story. This could be the time. Or, you may know of friends and colleagues who have publicly shared their journeys. Some of those experiences might have relevance to the person you are supporting.
• Extend an invitation to try something new. Novel experiences can help people jump their ruts and set off in a more promising direction. Sometimes being exposed to new possibilities is all it takes to develop a fresh and invigorating point of view.
• Express appreciation for who the person is and what they do. When suffering from malaise, people can easily tilt to the dark side and color everything in their lives as negative and problematic. Most periods of stuck-ness are temporary. And ‘all or nothing’ thinking and an exaggerated sense of catastrophe add unnecessary weight to the situation.
• Deliver honest feedback and straight talk. If you know the person well, you may be in a position to kindly question some of their assumptions in ways that will help them get a clearer grip on problems and possibilities.
• Model engagement and renewal in your own life. In all things, we give greater credence to ‘what people do’ over ‘what people say’. Pay close attention to your own well-being. Stay as engaged as possible in your own life roles. When you model a pro-active approach to re-invention and re-direction it gives others hope and courage to step out in new directions of their own.

And finally… a cautionary note. Stay alert to the difference between malaise (a temporary fog that comes and goes) and depression (a dark and heavy cloud that feels like it will stay forever). Although your support will always to be important to someone who suffers from depression, that more serious situation calls for professional expertise. Help them access that sooner rather than later.

© Patricia Katz, MCE CHRP HoF, is a Canadian speaker and author who works with organizational leaders to ease the load and fuel the spirit. This best selling author of 6 books shares her wisdom regularly with thousands of readers of her e-zine, Pause. Sign up for Pause, and learn more about easing your load here on this site. Contact Pat for programs and publications at info@patkatz.com or 306-934-1807.

Reflection:  Last Friday, March 3^rd, was Employee Appreciation Day. Did you note it? Did you mark it? Or, did you miss it?

If you marked it, good for you! If you missed it, worry not! You now have a 51-week head start on planning a thoughtful gesture or two for next year’s Appreciation Day.

People love to be celebrated on ‘their’ special days. That’s true whether you are an employee, a volunteer, a boss, a mom, or a dad. However, cards, treats, lunches, and bouquets of flowers once a year only do so much. It’s what happens on the other 364 days of the year that determine whether people truly feel appreciated. (more…)

St John’s Jelly Bean House #8 Wood Street

Reflection:  Things going right or things going wrong? To what do you pay more attention as you make your way through your day?

Are you on high alert for slights, missteps, and errors of omission or commission?

Are you quick to criticize, and eager to pounce on any infraction against the way things ought to be – in the world according to your Inner Judge?

Or are you tuned to signs that things just might be going well, open to receiving life’s everyday gifts, and prepared to be pleasantly surprised?

Are you quick to appreciate, and keen to focus attention on life’s joyful developments?

And beyond assigning labels of ‘bad or good’ to the experiences of the day, how open are you to the possibility that something first thought ‘wrong’ might just end up being ‘right’? (more…)

Reflection:  Happy 2017 to you! It’s a new year and a fresh start. How are things going so far?

For many years now, I’ve set aside a couple of days at the beginning of January to look back at the year that was and forward to the year that lies ahead. It’s a great way to mark progress – and, let’s face it, sometimes note the lack thereof!

A couple of years ago I also started the practice of tossing notes in one of two jars throughout the year. One jar holds notes about things I hope will come to pass. The other jar holds gratitudes – notes about experiences and people I appreciate as the year unfolds. It’s fun to flip through both before starting afresh each January. (more…)

Reflection: There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world these days. More than usual? It’s tough to say.

Some would argue that certainty is just an illusion anyway – that uncertainty is our normal state.

Still, I’m pretty certain that I’m writing this, you’re reading this, and the sun will rise tomorrow. Not everything, though, is quite so clear.

There are those whose health has taken a turn for the worse. They’re waiting for tests, a diagnosis, treatment, or recovery.

There are those whose relationships are in trouble, with teenagers challenging boundaries or partners growing apart.

There is uncertainty at work. More than one sector has taken a recent turn for the worse. Layoffs are common and restructuring is afoot.

World events (including the recent US election) have created turmoil and upset for many.

So, when the future is uncertain, other than stew, what can you do?

Action: Here are seven strategies to help you cope with the challenge of not knowing. (more…)

My Thoughts:

It’s true. Our presence, our words, and our actions all have an impact on others. Being absent, saying nothing, and doing nothing also have an impact on others.

And, as I expect Goodall is suggesting in this quote, those same behaviours have an impact on our world at large.

Your Thoughts:

If you set out to have the most positive impact on people and places in your world today, where would you be, what would you say, and what would you do?

News Notes:

Precious Moments Video …

Earlier this month, I wrote about the value of paying attention in a Precious Moments Pause Blog post.

I also invited you to share photos of some of your precious moments, and offered to compile them in a slide show/video.

As promised, here, it is. Thanks to all of you who added your special moments to this collection.

Click here or click on the Precious Moments image above to watch and enjoy! (more…)

Reflection: Traditionalists, Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, and Millenials are all labels assigned to groups of people of a certain age.

In a world where we look for easy answers and ready-made explanations, this pigeonholing has gained a lot of traction. However, oversimplifying can build barriers instead of connections.

Each group is portrayed as having predictable motivations, values and behaviours. Those characterizations are not always accurate. For each generalization, most of us could cite an exception to the rule.

In truth, many of us share common values and aspirations despite the fact that we were born and raised in different times.

For these reasons, I was intrigued to read a recent article by Gina Pell, who notes that there are individuals of every age who live in the present, connect to world developments, and relate to others of varied ages. They stay curious and relevant, keep learning and growing, and consistently try new things.

Her tag for these folks? (more…)

My Thoughts:

 I wrote this message on November 14 in honor of ‘Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day’. (Thanks to my perennially good humored friend, Michael Kerr, for bringing these special days to our attention.)

A number of recent events (your list here…) might have prompted you to do just the opposite – to tighten up, flip out, or tilt to the dark side.

What if we could find a few ways to loosen our grip and lighten our mood? Well, here’s a handful of starter actions to lead you down that road: (more…)

Reflection: As much as we might like to think that our success is entirely our own doing, the truth suggests otherwise.

None of us goes it completely alone. There are always others who have opened doors or offered opportunities and support along the way.

I recently had an opportunity to speak to Payroll Professionals in Atlantic Canada about cultivating connections and networking effectively.

In my message, I suggested we focus less on ‘getting the most from our networks’ and focus more on ‘giving the most to our networks’.

In my experience, when we focus on supporting others, good things also tend to flow in our direction.

Action: Here are five ways to actively support those in your circles of connection. Try one today. (more…)

My Thoughts:

The inspiration for this image was the Provencale village of Gordes. Although the buildings of Gordes do sprawl across the hillside, they’re built from neutral colored stone with pale weathered terra cotta tiles. They’re nothing like the bright colors you see here.

One of the things that painting has taught me is that you don’t have to stick with what you see or what you know. You don’t have to be locked in to ‘do this-don’t do that’ rules.

You can step out in new directions, color outside the lines, and things will be okay! Or, surprise, even better than okay!

Your Thoughts:

What lines and rules might be holding you back?

Where could you step around, hop over, or slide under a line to add more freedom and energy to your world?

News Notes:

Add Spark To Your Next Conference

I’ve just booked another keynote and follow up session on the topic of Rekindling Spark – Navigating Malaise for a spring 2017 provincial conference of nurses. This topic is hitting home for many different people in many different walks of life. The experience of ‘rusting out’, feeling ‘meh, bleh, blah’ seems to know no boundaries.

I’d love to bring my strategies for dealing with this issue to your professional association, too. Do keep that possibility in mind and pass the idea along to those in charge of professional development activities for your association. This link gives an overview.

Plein Air Show

During the month of September, you can see samples of the work of various Saskatoon artists who share an interest in painting in the great outdoors – including three pieces by yours truly. You’ll find the show gracing the gallery walls at HUES Art Supply, 1818 Lorne Ave here in Saskatoon.