Life in General

My Thoughts:

Much energy is given to contemplating the idea of a bucket list – the aspirations we have for those once-in-a-lifetime experiences (like sky-diving, canoeing the Amazon, or visiting the pyramids).

There’s nothing wrong with thinking and dreaming big. The challenge is that so much of our everyday life plays out on a much smaller scale.

Because of this, Jennifer Louden recommends writing yourself a Thimble List. That’s a list of tiny thrills and joys that you want to experience often – things like:

• surprising a client with an unexpected kindness
• savoring a bowl of juicy strawberries
• sharing laughs and adventures with a two year old
• reading a great novel while stretched out in the shade

Ticking items off the bucket list is great; and engaging in small pleasures can be every bit as satisfying.

Your Thoughts:

Pause for a few minutes this week with pen and paper in hand.

Start your very own Thimble List. Post it somewhere to prompt you to take advantage of those everyday opportunities for joy.

News Notes:

Travel Plans – Most years, my husband and I usually plan our travel adventures for ‘off season’. This year, we’re trying something different and adventuring across the pond to experience the height of summer in points European. While we travel, I’ll be taking a month-long hiatus from creating these messages. Look for your next Pause ezine in your mailbox on July 22.

Malaise News – Thanks to all who offered their opinions on possible titles for programs on the topic of malaise. These phrases were amongst the top runners:

• From Bored to Restored
• Engagement Is An Inside Job
• Spark A New Journey
• Moving Through & Moving On
• From Tired To Inspired
• From Deflated to Elated

Although I haven’t yet settled on the final title, your feedback was very helpful in sorting the list and advancing the cause. Much appreciated!

Reflection: It’s nine o-clock on a Saturday. (Sounds a little Billy Joel-esque, doesn’t it?) However, it’s morning – not evening – and there’s not a piano in sight.

I pull into the parking lot behind the building where I’ll be attending a meeting scheduled to run till 3:30 that afternoon.

A commissionaire is already on hand writing a parking ticket for some poor soul. As I step out of my car to feed the meter for the day, he calls across the lot asking, “Are you staying long?” “About six hours,” is my reply.

He stops writing the ticket, and crosses over to tell me that there are a couple of meters in the lot that aren’t working. If I park at one of those, I can do so all day long for free.

He suggests I get back in the car, and he’ll guide me to one of the freebies. I do, and he does.

I express my thanks. His reply, “Glad I was here to help you out!” And off he goes.

As I turn the corner from the parking lot headed for my meeting, Billy (not his real name) approaches. (more…)

My Thoughts: 

At one time or another, I’m sure that every parent has ordered a child to ‘Go Outside and Play’.

Translation: stop whining, get some fresh air, and work off some of that misdirected energy.

What if we took that advice to heart ourselves? What if outside meant more than just outdoors?

Suppose outside meant outside our cares, outside our concerns, outside our everyday habits of life and work.

And what if play meant more than riding a bike or kicking a ball?

What if play meant entertaining new ideas, connecting with new people, or trying new things?

Your Thoughts:

Go ahead. Give yourself permission to go outside and play this week!

• What threshold will you step over?
• What world will you explore?
• What difference could it make to your well-being?

News Notes: Big thanks to the 425 of you who have invested the time and responded to the Survey On Malaise. I’ve taken a peak at a few of the early comments and am excited about analyzing the results.

If you’ve been meaning to weigh in, but you’ve been suffering a bit of malaise or overload in your world, there is still time to express your opinions. Survey closes April 30^th. So hop on over today and share your views.

PS – You are most welcome to share the link with colleagues or friends whom you think might also have some valuable input or appreciate a chance for some guided reflection on the concept of malaise.

Mom’s Day Special:
Looking for a Mother’s Day gift to honor a mom in your world? Books last longer than flowers.

Gift her with copies of Press Pause…Press On and Press Pause…Think Again. She’ll appreciate the inspiration and remember your thoughtfulness as she makes her way through the easy reading pages. Each book features 64 of the most impactful Pause messages interspersed with quotes, anecdotes and
sketches as well.

This link will take you to more complete info on the books, including sample excerpts. On the info page, the Duo Deal#1 link will let you place your order for the twins.

PS – For every order placed before May 10^th, I’ll toss in a complimentary copy of the booklet, Take A Break.

Reflection: It had been several years since I had last seen either one of them.

She strode forward to greet me, stopped and remarked in a disappointed tone of voice, “Oh … I always think of you as much younger.”

As he put out his hand to shake mine, he observed, “I see someone’s been giving the scales quite a workout.”

You know, their words were true. I was a few years older and 10 pounds heavier than when I had last seen them. But, how to receive those comments with grace? That was my challenge.

I have learned over the years that there can be several voices rattling around in my head, each eager to put their spin on any situation.

First up with an interpretation was my uber-sensitive teenage self. She was spitting mad that I had just been insulted and dissed – told that I was old and fat.

Then my wiser more mature self took her turn. She suggested that the comments said more about the speakers than they did about me. Perhaps my friends have a few concerns about their own advancing age and expanding waistlines – neither of which have much at all to do with me.

I searched for a voice that genuinely believed their comments were offered with the kindest of intentions in an effort to lovingly express their care and concern about my well being. Nope – not happening! (more…)

I know this invitation was included at the end of last week’s Pause blog post, but in case you might have missed it I want to make special mention of it in a separate post.

I’ve been doing some R & D  work on a particular aspect of engagement in work and life – the concept of malaise.

We’re all pretty familiar with stress and burnout – that dramatic stretched-to-the-limits, crash and burn phenomenon. Malaise is different.

Malaise is more like rusting out, feeling stale, bored, lethargic, restless, joyless or adrift – suffering the dis-ease of being under-challenged or feeling under-engaged. It can be every bit as challenging as burnout.

My interest was triggered by what I have been noticing in some individuals as they reach the latter part of their careers. Although I don’t think malaise is restricted to that stage of life, it does seem to be more prevalent there.

I’m interested in learning how we might avoid long stretches of malaise and move more quickly to light a spark and find a path through to a more joyful and enthusiastic experience of life and work.

To that end, I’ve done a number of interviews on this issue, and just last week I released a survey to start gathering more input.

Here is the link to the survey:  https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Malaise   I would be delighted if you could take five to ten minutes to respond to the survey.

I’ll be collecting replies up until the end of April. if there are other people in your circle whom you think may have an interest in sharing their thoughts on the issue of malaise, please share the access link as freely as you wish.

Although I haven’t reviewed all the 300 responses submitted so far, some of the early comments are showing that people are finding the questions intriguing and very helpful in guiding them to think about their own experiences with malaise in their lives and organizations.

I’ll keep in touch, and share more on this subject as my work unfolds.

My Thoughts:

Kazantzakis suggests we already have at hand what we need to create a more ideal future.

Could it be that our own lack of vision or lack of action are all that may be holding us back?

Your Thoughts:

What’s your vision of Paradise? What’s already at hand that could move you in that direction?

What’s your next step? And, when will you take it?

News Notes:

Uninspired. Unsettled. Uneasy. Lifeless. Restless. Joyless. Stuck. Have you been there?

I’m talking about malaise – that generalized feeling of being ‘out of sorts’. It grinds away and wears us down, robbing our lives of spirit, energy and joy.

As I mentioned in last week’s Pause, I’m doing some writing and programming on the subject of malaise.

Experience tells me that the more deeply I understand a phenomenon, the stronger my work, and the more helpful it will be to others.

To that end, I’m inviting you to weigh in with your thoughts and experiences. This link will take you to an online Survey on Malaise that will take 5-10 minutes to complete.

I’m most grateful for your help. A thousand thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom.

Reflection: I expect you’re familiar with the story of Goldilocks.

You’ll recall Goldilocks entered the house of the three bears and set about finding what was right for her. Porridge: too hot, too cold, or just right. Chair: too big, too small, or just right. Bed: too hard, too soft, or just right.

Goldilocks’ search for the right fit makes her an interesting role model for balance (break and enter aside).

We’re all familiar with the ’too hot, too big, too hard’ side of this equation. That’s the world of overload and burnout where we find ourselves on fire, racing at top speed, flat out, overcommitted and overwhelmed.

We may be highly engaged, but we’re just as likely to be exhausted. Things are just not right. This overextended phenomenon of ‘too-much-ness’ gets a lot of attention.

From time to time, many of us also experience the ‘too cold, too small, too soft’ scenario. This is where we’ve outgrown one or more elements of our lives and our everyday patterns no longer fit as well as they once did.

We may feel restless, pinched, diminished, bored, joyless or adrift, suffering the dis-ease of finding ourselves under-challenged or under-engaged. Things are just not right. This malaise phenomenon gets much less attention even though it, too, causes distress.

Action: I’ve experienced malaise myself, more than once in my life. At those points, it’s not that things are all wrong, it’s more like they’re not all right any more.

It was a recent round of malaise that first pointed me in the direction of painting – as a way to light a spark in the areas of learning and creative expression. And, boy did it ever do that for me!

Rest easy! I’m not advocating painting as a panacea for everyone. But, I can suggest an approach that might help you find your way to a better place – or help you guide others who may find themselves stuck. (more…)

My Thoughts:

I love this image, because it’s so unexpected – just like many of life’s events that trip us up and bring us to our knees.

And, I love this image, because it’s so creative – just like some of the best reactions to challenging situations.

Your Thoughts:

How about bringing a little extra-orang-inary thinking to your world this week?

What’s been tripping you up lately?

And, what creative responses might help you pick yourself up and carry on?

News Notes:

The warmest of thanks to all of you who took part in the Pause Subscriber Challenge. I so appreciate your taking time to extend a special subscription invitation to your friends and colleagues.

From last year’s Pause readership survey, I learned that – next to having heard me speak at a conference or seminar – the most frequent way that people come to join our jolly band of readers is through an invitation and recommendation from a family member, friend, or colleague.

That’s the power of ‘word of mouth’. So thanks for valuing and speaking kindly of my work. Do keep forwarding the messages that resonate most to others who may appreciate them, too.

As promised, I’ve drawn a name from the list of those of you who let me know you invited others to subscribe in these last two weeks of March. A bundle of Pause goodies will soon be on its way to Tara Zrymiak, an engineer with SNC-Lavalin Inc.

My Thoughts:

So many of our everyday exchanges are predictable, dull and matter of fact.

What if we made it our business to add a bit more warmth or life to our conversations?

A smile. A compliment. A light hearted remark. A genuine expression of concern.

Each effort on our part could make a huge difference to someone else.

Your Thoughts:

What could you do or say that might leave someone smiling today?

What will you do?

And who are those people with the goofy grins on their faces as you walk out the door?

News Notes:

One of the reasons that I write these weekly Pause messages is that I know they bring a touch of sanity to an overwhelming world.

Many of you tell me how much you value Pause as a breath of fresh air in the middle of your week.

I’m eager to extend the impact of Pause, and would appreciate your help in growing the list of subscribers. (more…)

My Thoughts: This week I’m saying goodbye to the self-created expectation (and 14 year practice) of publishing a ‘full featured’ Pause message every single week.

Every second week, I’ll be alternating the traditional version with a simpler more visual message like this. Makes me wonder what’s around the corner waiting to greet me.

Your Thoughts:

What do you think about Coelho’s observation?

To what might you be ready to say goodbye? 

What might be lingering around the corner waiting for you to make more space for it in your life?

News Notes: I’ve had a couple of clients ask me recently, “Pat, with all the traveling and painting that you are doing these days, are you still speaking?” (more…)