wellness

In the mid 19th century, greedy British ship-owners overloaded their cargo holds and gleefully pocketed the insurance profits when the ships foundered and sank. Many sailors lost their lives on these ‘coffin ships’.

Samuel Plimsoll waged a battle against this practice. As a result, the Merchant Shipping Act of 1876 decreed that all cargo vessels must display the Plimsoll Line – an indicator of the limit to which they can be safely and legally loaded. Why? Because ships float at different levels depending on the warmth and consistency of the water. A ship loaded to capacity in a North Atlantic salt water port, would be in danger of riding too low and possibly sinking at a fresh water port in the tropics.

What’s this got to do with you and me? Well, modern day individuals and organizations have their limits, too. How cool would it be if each carried a Plimsoll line? You’d know when you were reaching your stability limit, and you’d also be able to see the current state of those around you.

Of course, we don’t come equipped with Plimsoll Lines. But this modern day set of indicators might offer a few clues to individual load and capacity: (more…)

Reflection: Does your upcoming summer vacation carry a ‘same as last year’ flavor? This might be a time to change it up a bit. Start by asking yourself this question: “What do I need most?” See what shows up in your answer.

Might you need:

• Serious solo down time with next to no demands?
• The emotional lift of reconnecting with favored friends or family?
• Spiritual renewal through a serious dose of time outdoors?
• The excitement and adventure of seeing new places and meeting new faces?
• The mental challenge of learning something new?
• Catch-up time taking care of fix-its and tasks around home?
• Couple time with a hint of romance?
• Time to dejunk and and reorganize those out-of-control spaces in your life?

Could be one or some of these or something else entirely. Of course, if you’re not on your own, family vacations usually end up being a compromise of sorts. You may have a mix of extroverts and introverts – some longing for big time socials and others for ‘me’ time. You might be a ‘major road trip’ fan partnered with a ‘hang out in one place’ person. Family traditions might dictate a visit ‘home’ at the center of every vacation – no exceptions.

So, how to get around differing – and changing – needs or preferences? (more…)

Reflection: I’d had a busy couple of weeks with projects, commitments and deadlines on every front. When the calendar cleared last Wednesday, I decided to pause and step away for a mental wealth day. That’s the kind of day when you focus on making a few sizeable deposits in the sanity bank account.

I spent ten minutes in the office, cleared a few urgent messages, put an away message on my phone, and settled in to enjoy the open space.

As the day unfolded, I puttered in the garden, visited on the street with several of the neighbors, lunched in the sun on the back deck, napped in the hammock, chatted by phone with several family members, and simply enjoyed the fish in the pond, the birds in the trees, and the tulips in the flowerbeds.

A greeting card from my sister arrived in the mail that morning and set the tone for the day.  The front cover featured a figure reclining in a hammock under the palm trees with these words: “Nowhere to go and all day to get there….” That became my mantra for the day!

I love that sentiment, it’s such a contrast to what we are more likely to experience in our everyday lives: “Everywhere to go and no time to get there!”

Action: Life doesn’t always lend itself to a mental wealth day. But, it may be possible to create a mental wealth moment or hour. And as you step into that openness of time, try breathing in the possibility that just for now, you have: ‘Nowhere to go and all day to get there!” (more…)

Reflection: Have you ever walked alongside someone whose stride was much longer or shorter than yours? Have you ever partnered on a project with someone whose pace was entirely mismatched to yours? They moved, spoke and concluded everything in a flash – or they ambled, pondered, and decided waaaay toooo sloooowly for your comfort?

If you have, chances are that you know first hand the frustration of trying to keep up or the irritation of needing to slow down.

Our set points vary one from another; and they may shift over time. Life experiences can temper our choices along the way. If we’re paying attention, through trial and error, we learn when we need to give a person or an issue more room, and when the time is ripe to urge to action.

In any given situation or relationship, the ‘right’ pace energizes, while the ‘wrong’ pace exhausts. And, of course, it’s all terribly subjective and situation specific.

When lives are on the line (think fire or medical emergency), a fast paced response is essential. But not everything we face falls in that urgent category – even though much is presented that way.

There’s a leadership style known as ‘Pacesetting’ that invigorates some and frustrates others. Pacesetters are notorious for setting very high performance standards and modeling them for others. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – except that pacesetters tend to be obsessively high on expectations and perilously low on empathy. Without empathy, this kind of leadership may not even register – much less respond to –  the stress that others experience along the way.

Action: So, how do you put these ideas about pace to work? (more…)

Reflection: There’s nothing like a good question to draw attention to what makes life worthwhile. And, for the record, that question is NOT: “So, are you busy?”

Far too many conversations in our stressed out, revved up world start just that way. We connect with a colleague at work, bump into an old friend at the grocery store, or meet a neighbor on the street. Before we even think about it, we’re automatically asking, “So, are you busy?”

It’s a question that usually generates a lengthy recounting of activities done and undone. Recounting the proverbial to do list seems to be a common way to establish our value and justify our existence on the planet.

Oddly enough, when you ask people to consider what really matters in life, the things that show up most often don’t relate much to the stuff on those to do lists that we fret so much and sweat so often.

What’s most meaningful and energizing relates more to relationships, to adventure, to a deep sense of connectedness and purpose – not to today’s to-do’s.

Action: If that is where more meaning lives, why not change the focus of our conversations? Why not start asking each other these questions instead: (more…)

Reflection: Comedienne, Phyllis Diller, once remarked, “My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.” Funny as she was, Phyllis had it wrong. Sitting is not necessarily better for your health. Sure, if you’re on your feet a lot during the day, taking a load off serves to…well, take a load off. It brings a welcome relief to weary feet, knees and back.

But a whole lot of us are not standing. We’re sitting, sitting, sitting. At the computer, behind the wheel, in front of the TV, on bleachers watching others play sports, and around the table at community meetings.

According to recent research cited by the Mayo Clinic, sitting for long periods of time is directly associated with obesity and a set of conditions known as metabolic syndrome – something that leads to higher blood pressure, skewed blood sugar, and abnormal cholesterol levels.

Too much sitting is also associated with upper back and neck pain, and a higher risk of death from cardiovascular disease and cancer. Don’t like the sounds of that? Neither do I!

Why does getting a move on matter so much? Apparently the muscle activity used in standing and other kinds of movement helps trigger the breakdown of fats and sugars in the body. Every time you stand or move, you set those processes in motion; and those processes help keep you healthy.

Action: What’s better than sitting? Sitter-itus Interruptus! It looks like this. (more…)

Reflection: How tightly crammed is your daily and weekly schedule? Are there gaps or just glimmers?

For years now, I’ve advocated in favor of white space. Time held free between meetings, commitments, and events that serve as a buffer in a busy life.

Meetings spill over, traffic jams, and a body’s got to eat sometime!

But buffers offer more than just a way to meet physical needs and stay on time. They give us room to breathe, and time to think.

Suppose you’ve just finished a meeting with a few members of your team. There’s merit in pausing to consider the ‘so what’ of the experience:

• What do you need to do next as a result of the exchange?
• What kind of coaching would help someone stay on track or grow in skill?
• What does this new information mean for where you are headed?
• What does it say about how far you’ve come?

In the absence of time to think about these things, in the pressure to race forward to what comes next, we lose our way. We also lose the opportunity to celebrate progress, shift direction, and build capacity.

Action: Place a high value on pausing for reflection. Make and take the time to think.

Block 10 or 15 minute buffers between events. Keep your intention front and center. Encourage others to do the same.

Reap the considerable rewards of a more considerate pace and a more considered experience.

Quote Of The Week: This space intentionally left blank. Jeff Weiner

Resource Of The Week: Today’s message inspired by this article from Jeff Weiner, CEO of Linkedin: The Importance of Scheduling Nothing.

Readers Write: In response to last week’s message, What’s New In Your World, Pause reader DC writes: Thanks for the wonderful link! I have watched it and forwarded to friends and family. They are just so cute. And, yes, if you just could go a quarter turn in your listening skills, you’d clearly understand what they are saying. Have an amazing day, I plan to do so!

Reflection: It was a lively chaotic commotion-filled people-rich Easter weekend here for the Katz family.

We hosted ‘Baby’s First Tea Party’ on Saturday to introduce our new grandson to the neighbors and extended family. About 30 people joined us through the afternoon including five babies and two preschoolers. It was mayhem in its most delightful wonder-full form. On Sunday, a slightly smaller group – with almost as many little ones – congregated at my sister’s home for Easter dinner.

The last decade of gatherings saw our collective offspring move through the angst of the late teens and early twenties and into the excitement of partners and marriages. It is an absolute delight to see the circle of life take another turn.

We now find ourselves knee deep in soothers, rattles, bottles, diapers and all the paraphernalia of modern babydom. How amazing it is to watch these new moms and dads find their legs as parents. And, how rewarding for those of us a little further around that circle of life to engage in gleeful rounds of ‘Pass The Babies’.

Engaging with new life in all its forms holds such power and energy. Holding a baby in your arms. Admiring the newborn calves kicking up their heels in the pasture. Following the progress of the spring crocuses and tulips as they poke their noses through the warm earth. Welcoming an intern or young summer staff member to an established workplace. Launching a new product or service in a not-so-new business.

There is something undeniably invigorating about new beginnings and fresh starts.

Action: If parts of your life seem stale and much seems old hat (been there…done that), now might be a very good time to connect with something or someone new to jumpstart and rekindle your enthusiasm for life.

What’s it going to be for you? Keep your eyes and your mind open. Novelty awaits. And with it comes fresh energy and renewed enthusiasm. What awesome gifts! (more…)

Reflection: Partner a fast pace with huge expectations and minimal down time, and you’ve got all the necessary ingredients for a big old vat of ‘sweet’n’sour stress soup’.

Like steam off a stockpot, emotions will run high – guaranteed! The challenge is to know how to deal with them without getting burned.

This is where EI – Emotional Intelligence – comes into play. If it’s been a while since you were introduced to EI, or are meeting the concept for the first time, here’s a short refresher.

EI is based on Awareness and Management of feelings – within ourselves and between ourselves and others.

On the inside, how aware of you of your own emotional states, and how skilled are you in controlling your responses and managing your own reactions to events?

On the outside, how attuned are you to the emotional states of others, and how skilled are you in managing those relationships with others when feelings run high?

At the core of EI in action is the ability to tune in and name the emotions and also consider what needs they might signal.

Action: I’ve been thinking about the whole business of interpretation and wondering how we might use emotions and our insights about them as a way to guide what we do next.

Here’s an attempt to interpret the underlying meaning of a few of the emotions likely to cross our paths and minds. (more…)

St John Harbor Hill

Reflection: Where do you focus? And, what do you see?

Several years ago, during one of my early watercolor classes, our instructor Cecelia sat us down to sketch on the South Saskatchewan riverbank here in Saskatoon.

Thinking like photographers, we scanned the horizon and angles searching for THE perfect composition. Not Cecelia. She pointed out a grouping of trees to the left, the sweep of a promenade to the right, and the silhouette of a building in the distance. She totally ignored the backhoe, the piles of dirt, and the construction workers milling around the site.

Cecelia then roughed out a sketch that moved the elements she liked into a composition that worked. We looked at her – skeptical and disbelieving – and asked, “Can you do that?”

The answer, of course, is yes. And not just in the world of art!

Art, and the art of life, invite us to picture what could be. Having imagined it, we can set about creating something new.

This option – to create a fresh reality and imagine new possibilities – is available to each of us every single day. We need only focus our attention on what holds appeal, work around the debris, and picture what could be in the face of what is.

Action: As the designer of your own life, you get to choose your point of view. (more…)