PAUSE – 14.28 – Keep a Promise To Lighten Your Load
September 17, 2014
Reflection: One of the ways we add to the mental and emotional overload in our lives is by making promises we’re unlikely to keep.
For example, you run into an old friend or an ex-colleague on the street. You’re both super excited to see each other. You spend the next 20 minutes swapping news and bringing each other up to date.
At the end of the exchange, you say, “I’m so glad we ran into each other. This has been great. We should get together soon for (pick one) coffee, a drink, dinner.” Your friend agrees, smiles and nods, and you go your separate ways.
It was a great visit. That’s true. But, now there’s a ‘thing’ between you.
What kind of thing, you ask? A promise, a commitment, a spoken intention to act. And the central question is whether you will or whether you won’t follow through.
Sure, your intentions were good, as they are in so many instances. But, time is limited, and we’re easily distracted. Before you know it, days, weeks, months, even years go by – and the thing – that unmet promise still hangs in the air and follows you around.
Multiply the number of ‘things promised but not delivered’ in our lives and the weight of expectation grows heavy.
What’s equally problematic, is that our integrity takes a hit in the eyes of others. We become that person who talks a good line but rarely follows through.
PAUSE – 14.27 – Is Speed Truly The Holy Grail Of Happiness?
September 10, 2014
Reflection: We’ve become far too accustomed to stuffing our days from end to end with task after task, trying to accomplish as much as possible as quickly as possible.
We latch on to shortcuts as if they might lead us to the holy grail of happiness. We grab fast food and we leave quick notes. We ask quick questions. We share quick hugs, and we send quick texts.
We literally cut ourselves and each other to the quick as we speed off to…what? What, exactly, are we trying to make of our lives? Where are we headed at such a breakneck pace? And what do we end up experiencing along the way?
Consider for just a moment, what might happen if every once in a while you: (more…)
PAUSE – 14.26 – How Do YOU Cultivate Contentment?
September 3, 2014
Reflection: Here it is the beginning of September, and I see Summer waving goodbye in the rearview mirror. I’m surprised at what seems like an early departure.
Despite the luxury of time that is July and August, there are so many things I didn’t accomplish. I didn’t go golfing or biking. In fact, the clubs and the bike are still hanging on the wall in the garage. I didn’t attend any events at Saskatoon’s Jazz Festival, Children’s Festival or the Fringe. I didn’t get the carpets cleaned or the fence replaced. And, I didn’t make my way through even half the books I’d hope to read.
I did, however, enjoy my morning walks along the river and lunches on the back deck. I shared some great visits with friends and family, and spent time with family who came here from away. I was tickled to spend several fun filled days with my seven-year-old grandson, Ethan. I sketched and painted and tended the garden.
I helped my Dad total up the grain he’d grown over a lifetime of farming and translated the bushels of wheat, durum and barley into loaves of bread, bowls of spaghetti and bottles of beer. (Amazing totals those!) I worked on the design for a new business offering and arranged for the second printing of my latest book.
Still, in the richness and muchness of life, it’s easy to feel like I haven’t done or been or given … enough. Maybe you feel that way, too! (more…)
Pause Gem #36 – Can You Be Here Now?
August 27, 2014
Reflection & Action: Race to the shower Race to the closet. Race to the coffee pot. Race to the car. Race to work. Race to a meeting. Race to lunch. Race to the dentist. Race back to work. Race to another meeting and then another meeting. Race to the dry cleaner. Race to the supermarket. Race home. Race through dinner. Race youngster number one to soccer practice, youngster number two to a music lesson, and yourself to a community meeting. Race home again. Collapse into bed. Wake up tomorrow and start the race all over again.
Does anything about that race sound familiar? How much of your day do you spend, meeting yourself coming and going?
In the hustle and pressure of daily life, it’s so easy to be anywhere else but present. We find ourselves trapped in regreats about yesterday or filled with anxiety for tomorrow. Yet this place – this moment in time – is really all we have. If we’ve missed it, then it’s gone forever.
The challenge for each one of us is to be here now. Post-race and post-haste, here’s a simple way to settle down and be more present.
Try this: Stand or sit still for just a few seconds. (Yes, you can spare ten seconds. It’s your life after all.)
As you breathe in, draw the word here into your mind. As you breathe out, bring the word now into your mind. Repeat three times.
Pause to check: Are you here now? Take every opportunity to shift your attention from hurry to here.
Here it is! The last of nine chances in the 2014 ‘Summer Sketchbook Special’ to own a piece of original art at a sizzling price of just $49 (plus applicable taxes and $10 for shipping).
Parisian Window is number nine in the series of Pauseworks Postcards.
Each 4” x 6” postcard features the Pauseworks Studio 2014 postmark in an upper corner.
Each will be surface mounted on a coordinating 6” x 8” mat board ready for framing or display as is.
To claim your PW Postcard, just send me an email with the words ‘I’ll Take It’ in the subject line.
The first reader to call dibs on each week’s mini masterpiece takes it. Enjoy … and may the early bird snag the sketch.
BTW – if another early bird beats you to the draw, and you’d like to order a print or prefer something in a larger size, here’s the link to make that happen: Parisian Window
Note: Only the original bears the PW Studio stamp.
Pause Gem #35 – What’s The Message You Need To Hear?
August 20, 2014
Reflection & Action: When I bought myself a bunch of flowers, the florist asked if I wanted a gift card to go with them. I declined, saying they were just for me.
“All the more reason to add a card,” she declared. “I always write myself a card when I buy myself flowers.”
When I asked what she wrote, she replied, “Well, it depends on the day. Sometimes it’s: ‘Thanks for being you.’ Other times it’s: ‘Wow! You’re smart and gorgeous, too!’”
We shared a chuckle. I left with the flowers and a card in hand.
It was a simple reminder of an important lesson. The florist knows how to fill her own wellspring of appreciation. With her own spirits freshly topped up, she’s in a much better position to share her goodwill with others.
Do you take yourself for granted too often? I do. If we don’t show ourselves some positive attention from time to time, who will? Most of us don’t have our loving mothers following us around moment by moment, applauding our courage, cheering our sense of adventure, or delighting in our presence. This is true in our work and personal lives. And if it’s true for us, it’s true for others as well.
What would life be like if you extended a bit more appreciation in your own direction more often? What would it be like if you encouraged others to do the same?
Reflection & Action: Rituals are powerful. Hello/goodbye, good morning/good night kisses are an everyday occurrence in my marriage. Leave takings with our daughters—by phone or in person—are punctuated from both sides with the phrase, “Love ya.” Our dinner grace includes a “today I am thankful for …” comment from each person around the table.
As with brushing your teeth in the morning, these actions and phrases have become second nature. That doesn’t make them meaningless. Each exchange expresses deeply held values of love and appreciation.
Rituals bring our values to life. If you value your health, turning a lunchtime walk into an automatic ritual breathes life into that value. If you value family, the ritual of a weekly phone call with a parent or sibling keeps the connection alive. If you value the beauty of nature, the ritual of placing freshly cut flowers on your desk or your table keeps nature in the center of your everyday life. You get the picture.
What kind of rituals are already working for you? What other rituals could you create to shift more of your deeply held values from intention to action?
Tie those practices to a specific time or place. Build them into your daily or weekly routines. Watch the impact!
This summer, a number of my original watercolors are on show and for sale at Cheryl Tuck Tallon’s Black Spruce Gallery. The Gallery is located in Lake Country north of Prince Albert, SK. You’ll find it on highway #2 at Northside.
Cheryl Tuck Tallon & Pat
When I was vacationing in that area for a week in July, I stopped in at the studio to visit with Cheryl. While I was there took a few photos and thought I’d share them with you. (more…)
Pause Gem #33 – Can You Move Things Forward?
August 6, 2014
Reflection & Action: Many of my mornings begin with a walk along the beautiful South Saskatchewan River valley, just two blocks from home. My route winds past a giant boulder on the bank. It’s the perfect perch for a moment’s rest and meditation.
I recently headed out on my morning stroll, anticipating a peaceful journey. As I turned the corner and headed to the river, I discovered that some aspiring street artist had selected our fence as a perfect canvas. We’d been tagged and I was furious! Now I needed that walk more than ever.
I arrived at the river—still smoldering over the graffiti—only to make a second discovery. “My” rock had also been hit by a crew of performance artists. Broken beer bottles were their media of choice. So much for the peace of the morning. Now I was really ticked off! The nerve! The disrespect!
After two days of intermittent fuming, it finally occurred to me that I could choose another response. (more…)
Pause Gem #32 – You Can Laugh It Off To Lighten Up
July 30, 2014
Reflection & Action: I chose a poor day to renew my driver’s license. That day, problems with the phone lines made credit and debit card transactions impossible. Customers dug for checks, scrounged for spare change, or dashed down the block to the cash machine.
The cashiers did their best, but progress was slow. A fellow who arrived just moments after I’d entered the queue didn’t appreciate the delay. Like a bull in the paddock, he shifted from foot to foot, snorting and pawing the ground. Jingling the change in his pocket and rustling the papers in his hand did nothing to calm his jangling nerves. Neither the repeated checks of his wristwatch nor the disgusted glares he zinged at the cashiers brought him relief.
A few minutes after his arrival, a newcomer fell in line behind the restless rustler. In the loudest possible voice, the raging bull cautioned her that he hoped she’d brought a book and planned to spend the day because he’d been waiting in line all morning!
In less than five minutes, it was my turn at the counter. I leaned in close to the cashier and told her I hoped she had 911 on her speed dial; I thought our friend, the raging bull, was about to pop an artery. She chuckled and rolled her eyes, clearly relieved to connect with an understanding customer who showed a sense of humor.