My Thoughts: This week I’m saying goodbye to the self-created expectation (and 14 year practice) of publishing a ‘full featured’ Pause message every single week.
Every second week, I’ll be alternating the traditional version with a simpler more visual message like this. Makes me wonder what’s around the corner waiting to greet me.
Your Thoughts:
What do you think about Coelho’s observation?
To what might you be ready to say goodbye?
What might be lingering around the corner waiting for you to make more space for it in your life?
News Notes: I’ve had a couple of clients ask me recently, “Pat, with all the traveling and painting that you are doing these days, are you still speaking?” (more…)
PAUSE – 15.03– Could You Be A More Reassuring Presence?
February 25, 2015
Reflection: Skinned knees, broken hearts, failing health, cancelled projects, empty coffers. It’s always something, and in this world of ours there’s no shortage of ‘somethings’. So, how to help?
A toddler who falls and scrapes his knee needs a band-aid and a hug, and our reassurance that things are going to be all right.
A friend who is reeling from a challenging health diagnosis needs us to hold steady in the moment of crisis, acknowledge the fear and uncertainty, and reassure her that we’re there for the long haul.
In the face of excessive loads, overwhelm and setbacks, our colleagues at work need reassurance, too – just not in a hug and band-aid sort of way.
They need us to acknowledge their distress and express confidence that somehow we’ll get through this together – that we’ll be all right.
All right doesn’t mean perfect or stress-free. The present may well be painful, the road forward rocky, and the outcome less than ideal. All right means that we trust we’ll have the resilience to make it through, and the strength to deal with whatever comes up.
The most helpful form of reassurance is far more than a blithe and condescending: “There there, you poor thing. It’ll all be better soon.” Instead, it comes from a deep sense of presence, a genuine feeling of care and understanding, and compassionate expression.
Action: There are many ways to be a more reassuring presence in the lives of others at work and at home. Here are four to get you started: (more…)
PAUSE – 15.01- Are You Asking A Beautiful Question?
Reflection: Welcome to the first Pause message of 2015. I hope your year is off to a great start.
I find it hard to believe that this is my fifteenth year of creating and sharing these weekly Pause missives. That’s a grand total of over 700 messages encouraging readers to pause for renewal, appreciation and insight.
I must admit recently I’ve experienced mixed feelings about this weekly commitment. Some weeks I’m like a kid in a candy store, keen to share an experience, an insight or a resource with you. Other weeks I’m like a lumbering ox shouldering a heavy yoke, feeling the weight and burden of coming up with something fresh by midnight Tuesday.
I tell you this because I like to be honest about the way things are, and also because I want you to know that I’m rethinking my options with respect to Pause. Continue? Stop? Simplify? Change frequency? Shift direction?
Where it’s going, I’m not sure. I had hoped I might have a resolution to that question by now. But I don’t. I’m still mucking around in the swamp of possibilities. And, that is not my favorite place to be.
I’m much more comfortable with a decision and a direction. But, sometimes a solid answer takes its own sweet time; and it’s OK not to know.
Action: I’m guessing that on occasion you, too, may find yourself in that swampy stew of uncertainty wrestling with one issue or another. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.40 – Contentment Is Highly Underrated
December 24, 2014
Reflection: I’ve been thinking a lot about contentment. You may recall that I first wrote about this concept back in September, in a Pause message titled How do YOU Cultivate Contentment.
What is it? Mainly a state of satisfaction, an ease of being, a peace of mind. That makes contentment the antithesis of envy, striving and anxiety. It’s a state of mind in which we find a way to be at ease and at peace – perhaps even happy – with our lot in life at the moment. It’s an inward disposition – a mindset – and it’s not a choice that someone else can make for us.
In a world of overwhelm and overload, contentment is an oasis, an island of tranquility. While the feeling may or may not last long, in the moment it soothes, uplifts, and brings us joy.
You’ve probably seen contentment in the sleepy milk fed expression of a baby nodding off to dreamland. You’ve maybe seen contentment writ large across the faces of doting elders in the presence of their grand and great grandchildren.
It seems that those of us in the busy years between new life and nearer death lose touch with both the idea and experience of contentment.
My wish for you as this year winds to a close, is that you find ways to tap into contentment – wherever you are and whatever your state. It ‘s not necessary for all to be perfect, done, or as we might wish it to be. Simply appreciate who you are and what you have in the moment, and know that a sense of wonder and a spirit of gratitude are afoot.
As the new year approaches, with its new resolutions and fresh intentions, consider adding cultivating contentment to your list of goals, and see how it enriches your world.
I’ve been collecting thoughts and quotes on contentment to share with you as a way of closing out 2014. I hope you enjoy reading and reflecting on these thoughts.
May you welcome contentment into your world with open arms. Blessings to you all.
Reflection: For several decades now I’ve been a student of productivity, effectiveness, balance and other things related to living ‘the good life’. As you may have noticed, there is no shortage of info on this topic.
Each time I hear about a new book in this area or see a magazine with a related article, I find myself drawn to check it out. I’m always hoping that there might be a new technique, a new idea, a new strategy– an insider secret that would be helpful to me that I could share with you.
At this point in my research I often find myself more disappointed than delighted. New expressions of longstanding ideas is often the best I can find.
And that leads me to consider that what we need may not be more information, but more execution. We need to act on what we already know pays off. And that thought led me to consider, ‘What is it that works?’
Action: To boil down 30 years of digging around in this area, here is my shortlist legacy of learnings about leading a productive, balanced and meaningful life. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.36 – What Can You Do To Brighten Things Up?
November 26, 2014
Weeping Willow Cottage
Reflection: December is just around the corner. The sun (at least here in the northern hemisphere where I live) is taking its own sweet time creeping over the horizon in the morning, while racing to darkness at the end of the day.
It seems like the ideal time to address one of the questions that came out of the Pause ezine reader survey conducted earlier this year. One Pause reader asked, “How do you brighten up the workplace?”
It’s an interesting question. If your daily experience delivers some combination of dim, dark, dingy, depressing or drab, it can be a real downer. (Sorry about that, there seemed to be a lot of loose d’s hanging around my keyboard!)
So let’s take a look at actions that could reverse the trend and bring a bit of lightness and levity.
Action: Here are a handful of ways to brighten your workplace. You might find one or more helpful. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.35 – Always On Guard? Often Off Balance!
November 19, 2014
Reflection: When I speak and write about granting our selves and each other permission to pause, many people grasp the idea in quick order. They can see that there’s a strong case for renewal and re-energizing in the face of overwhelming demands. It makes sense on an intellectual level.
But, that message doesn’t always make it from the brain to the gut – where so many of our decisions and choices are actually made. As a result, the idea literally does not sit well with us.
Now, as you know, it is possible to force yourself to sit down for a moment to catch your breath and take a break. But how often does that rest take the form of a tentative perch on the edge of your seat, burdens still at hand, muscles tensed to lift off again at a moment’s notice, brain on high alert?
That’s not much of a break especially when compared to option B. You drop into a chair and drop into the moment. You let your body be surrounded and supported, relax your muscles, set your burdens aside, and tell your brain to take a hike.
It’s the same 30-60-90 seconds, but it’s a significantly difference experience.
Action: The next time you sense you need to step back for a few moments, pay close attention to your approach. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.32 – Are You Charting Your High Level View?
October 29, 2014
Reflection: I do value the Task List/Reminder List on my electronic calendar. Still, if I work and think only at the level of small individual tasks, I end up feeling like I’m stuck in the weeds or mired in the swamp. No matter how many of those bits and pieces get accomplished (write this, call him, brief her, deliver that), there are always ten more items flooding in to take their place.
To catch my breath and get a grip, I need to rise above the small task minutiae. I need access to the big picture, and, like oxygen, I need it often.
Here’s a practice that’s worked for me. I’ve cultivated the habit of taking twenty minutes at the beginning of each month to cultivate that higher level view; and I take another ten minutes at the beginning of each week to take stock for the next seven days.
I remind myself of my larger goals for the year. I look over the calendar for the next few months or weeks. I think about the season of the year and the rhythm of my work.
I sift. I sort. And, I actually write by hand a brief list of things to focus on for work, family, community and myself over the coming month or the coming week.
Then each day before I dive into the accumulated bits and pieces on my task list, I look at the overview for the week and use that big picture to keep things in perspective. I try to make sure that the task list on most days includes at least an item or two that contribute to those big picture points of focus. It helps…a lot! (more…)
PAUSE – 14.31 – Doubting Your Value? Know That You Matter!
October 22, 2014
Reflection: In life’s daily give and take, slog and grind, tug and pull, it’s easy to question whether what you do or who you are really matters. Many times I’ve felt discouraged or hopeless or useless and found myself asking, ‘What’s the point?” Maybe you have, too.
Along the way I’ve learned that fostering a sense of significance – believing that we do, in fact, matter – is very much an inside job. Others cannot fill a hole in our hearts or a need in our lives that is of our own making.
Action: In those dark moments of self-doubt about self-worth, here are a handful of tactics you might find helpful in shifting from dismay to delight. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.30 – Success Can Lead To Excess
October 1, 2014
Reflection: Our pursuit of success has both an upside and a downside – a bright side and a dark side.
The very same impulses that drive us to success (a commitment to showing up, the ambition to get ahead, and a desire to make a difference) are the very same impulses that can drive us to excess (taking on too many things at once, working ourselves to exhaustion, and driving ourselves and those around us crazy in the process).
In our pursuit of success and significance, it’s far too easy to lose our focus and to lose our way – to end up feel overwhelmed and overloaded.
Trying to handle the situation with traditional time management tools only makes a small dint in this experience. Goal setting, prioritizing, delegation, and techno efficiency will only take us so far.
If we want to be sustainably productive, we need to concern ourselves with other equally important elements of productivity:
Maintaining perspective
Developing presence
Tapping into peace of mind
Action: Pay close attention to perspective, presence and peace of mind as you make your way through today:
Remember why the things you are working on matter.
Take satisfaction as you move projects forward – even if they aren’t yet complete.
Be present to the people who share your world and your work.
Tune in your body and your thoughts; and answer the call when they signal what you need.
Tap into that invisible ‘river of peace’ that flows at your feet every moment of every day.
Quote Of The Week: Could we stop measuring our days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence? – Yours Truly
Our entire society can be changed by one person’s peaceful presence. – Thich Nhat Hanh
Readers Write: In response to last week’s message, What Can You Learn From A Toddler On Overload, Pause reader JO writes: “I am not sure who said this or coined it but if I have an important meeting or event it’s important to HALT and do an internal check. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (HALT)? If so I take care of it prior to that important event or meeting!”
I did a little sleuthing on attribution, JO, and it seems this acronym is most strongly associated with treatment programs for chemical dependency. The thought here is that when we are in weakened states (as in HALT) we are more likely to make poor choices. When you recognize and take care of those needs, you improve the likelihood of making more thoughtful, healthy and sustainable choices.
