Life Balance

Reflection & Action: I’d had a busy couple of weeks with projects, commitments and deadlines on every front. When the calendar cleared one day last week, I decided to pause and step away for a mental wealth day. That’s the kind of day when you focus on making a few sizable deposits in the sanity bank account.

I spent ten minutes in the office, cleared a few urgent messages, put an away message on my phone, and settled in to enjoy the open space.

As the day unfolded, I puttered in the garden, visited on the street with several of the neighbors, lunched in the sun on the back deck, napped in the hammock, chatted by phone with several family members, and enjoyed the fish in the pond and the birds in the trees.

A greeting card from my sister arrived in the mail that morning and set the tone for the day. The front cover featured a figure reclining in a hammock under a palm tree with these words: “Nowhere to go and all day to get there….” That became my mantra for the day!

I love that sentiment, it’s such a contrast to what we are more likely to experience in our everyday lives: “Everywhere to go and no time to get there!”

One of the most popular delusions in today’s world is the belief that we cannot step away from our responsibilities – that without our constant vigilance the world will come to a grinding halt. It just ain’t so! (more…)

Reflection:  Better focus? Greater health and well-being? More creative thoughts? Could you use more of these?

According to recent research by the Energy Project and Harvard Business Review, they’re easier to access than you might think. Just step away from the work.

The study showed that employees who break every 90 minutes to pulse between work and renewal report:

• 28% better focus
• 30% greater health and well-being, and a
• 40% increase in creative thinking

This is just one more in a long series of research findings that confirm this fact: time out delivers a significant return on investment!

Action: Adopting this practice and reaping the rewards takes shifting from intention to action.

It’s easy to get caught up in the flow and frenzy of the work, and overlook the breaks. Use a timer reminder on your calendar. Set it to ring at 90 minute intervals. Add software to your computer that will interrupt you on a schedule of your choice to invite you to stretch and move.

Then choose a renewing pause – one that honors what you need at the time:

• If you’re sitting, movement and stretching are good.
• If you’re stuck indoors, a little fresh air will help.
• If you’re holed up working solo, a bit of social interaction may help.
• If you’re wrangling with serious issues, humor can lighten the mood.
• If you’re surrounded by people, solo time can reset your equilibrium.

Build in the breaks. Choose a contrasting experience. And, you’ll be well on your way to experiencing the powerful impact of powering down. (more…)

My Thoughts:

As I grow older, I seem to become less concerned about knowing how things will end before I commit to a start.

Maybe I’m more confident in my ability to handle whatever comes up.

Or maybe I’ve realized that imagining I control the outcomes is mostly an illusion anyway.

I do know that I’ve been around the block enough times to realize that the sheer act of beginning something new opens doors and invites possibilities that are never apparent when you’re hunkered down on the sidelines wondering, ‘Should I…?’

Your Thoughts:

Are you toying with trying something new? Why not find a low risk way to stand up, step out, and test the waters?

Let yourself be surprised and amazed. And, let me know how it goes!

News Notes:

It’s just over a year since I stood up and stepped out to explore the challenges of mid life malaise. Some of you will remember responding to a survey on that topic in early 2015.

Since then, I’ve used the results of that research to craft a variety of programs on Rekindling Spark – Navigating Mid Life Malaise. Over the last six months, I’ve designed and delivered a Ted Talk, a conference keynote, a follow up breakout session, and a half day seminar.

There’s nothing like stepping out and testing new material to see if it makes a contribution and a difference. And, this most certainly does. (more…)

Reflection: Funny creatures we are – us human beings! Sometimes me thinks we thinks too much! Cogitating on this! Judging that! Setting implausible expectations!

A speaker colleague of mine, Ron Culberson, recently observed in his blog post on significance that he feared his Success Meter was not calibrated properly. (Read more about his observations in today’s Resource of the Week link).

By way of example, he reports feeling like he’s failed if, by end of day, he hasn’t done something that registers somewhere between noteworthy and stupendous. I’ve been there myself. Have you?

Last week I spoke for the Spiritual Care Association of Saskatchewan. This is a group of people who face really tough situations every single day.

They provide support for individuals and their families when the prospects for a long life or a speedy recovery are just not there. It’s emotionally demanding work – often with no practical, tangible way to ‘solve the problem’ or ‘make things right’.

In many of those tough, end-of-life moments, it’s simply their presence that they can offer. There’s nothing to be done except be there and be available. And, you know what? That counts a lot.

Action: Are there days when your expectations take a crazymaking tilt? Are there days when you stomp on yourself for falling short of your aspirations? (more…)

Reflection: Life’s been busy these last few weeks with program design and delivery, travel, visits with family and friends, and springtime in the garden. All good things – yet challenging, too.

And so it felt good over the long weekend to experience the positive impact of tidying up. Not in a Marie Kondo ‘tossing things out’ kind of way. The experience was more about making things right – which in turn made things light.

On Friday, my last act in the office (which happens to be in my home) was to clear the desk and stash the miscellany. Everything done? No way. But without visible piles and papers, there was nothing calling my name each time I passed by.

On Saturday, I moved the lawn, trimmed shrubs and weeded a few perennial beds. Finished? No. But a whole lot better than before.

On Sunday, I transplanted flowers sheltering in the garage into pots and planters around the garden. Complete? No. But the garage is empty and that feels great.

On Monday, I tackled many loads of laundry, while dusting and vacuuming the house. Through neglect and spring doings, the place was a disaster from one end to the other. Perfect? Hah! Nothing will ever pass the white glove test in my world! But good enough – with no more garden grit underfoot.

And so, as I write this on Tuesday morning, I’m feeling grounded for having brought a bit more order to my world, and I’m ready to welcome the tasks of the week ahead. (more…)

My Thoughts:  April, May and June are ripe with birthday celebrations in our family. I’ve noticed there’s nothing that marks the passage of time quite so clearly as those annual celebrations of our arrival on this planet.

This quote suggests, “You can’t turn back time, but you can wind it up again!” There’s some truth in that. A good night’s sleep, for instance, tops your tank and gifts you with a brand new day at sunrise.

A fresh interest that challenges you and brings you joy also has a way of ‘turning back time’. It makes you feel more energetic and engaged in life and – if not younger – at least more youthful in spirit.

Your Thoughts: What experiences wind you up again? And are you making time for those things in your life?

And, when was the last time you tried something new or different? Could today be that day?

News Notes:  Engagement Series Final Session Still Has A Few Open Spaces

I’ve really enjoyed delivering the first two sessions in a three part Series on Engagement through the University of Saskatchewan Edwards School of Business.

Session One focused on Fueling Enthusiasm. We had a full house of very enthusiastic participants. Some organizations brought several people to the session so they could support each other in applying the ideas back in the workplace.

Session Two focused on Boosting Energy. It was a treat to see how well attendees engaged with those ideas. I know that applying what they learned will pay off for themselves and those around them, too.

Session Three will be focusing on Tapping Passion – Moving Beyond Mid-Life Malaise. It is just around the corner, and will be delivered on the 9^th of June here in Saskatoon. There are still a few seats available in the program.

If you’ve been interested in the ideas I’ve been sharing on this topic, here’s your chance to engage with them first hand – to see how they might fit into your own life, and to become a more effective support to others who find themselves in danger of rusting out.

Here is the link to the program details and registration information. Hope to see you there.

My Thoughts:

There is certainly no shortage of advice on how to improve our lives and workplaces. Heck, I’m sharing some with you right now!

At times, the sheer volume of ‘how-to’ messages can overwhelm us: Do more of this. Do less of this. Remember this. Don’t forget about that.

When I stumbled across Pema Chodron’s message featured here (Maybe the most important teaching is to lighten up and relax), I immediately felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. And that brought a smile to my face.

Though we may not always be in a position to relax, there are a lot of situations in which we could lighten up and not take life and our selves quite so seriously.

Your Thoughts:

With respect to a burden or two in your world today, where could you lighten up and relax?

News Notes:

As I mentioned at the beginning of the year, my plan for 2016 is to publish the traditional Pause format every second week. In the weeks between, I’ll be experimenting with a series of projects.

The first project was the six part video series on Rekindling Spark – Navigating Mid Life Malaise. I hope you enjoyed watching the series and sharing them with friends and colleagues.

If you missed any of the messages, you’ll find links to all of them in this recent blog post.

For the next couple of months, alternate weeks will feature a series of Pause Posters – like the one you see here today.

I enjoy partnered ideas and images that make me stop and think. Some that you’ll see are created by others and some I’ll pull together myself. I’m excited about sharing them with you – along with a couple of brief thoughts and a question or two for reflection.

Reflection: It’s been 20 or 30 years since we first started talking about work-life balance. The main challenge in the early days seemed to be that work ate up an inordinate share of our time and energy – squeezing out space for life’s other jobs and joys.

Over the years, the way we talk about this issue has changed. We’ve gone from balance as a distant objective, to flex as a decent workaround, to harmony as a desirable possibility, to integration as a reasonable compromise, to flow as a utopian ideal.

Although the language has changed, so has the culture and the technology. Expectations continue to grow, techno tools multiply, and multitasking runs rampant. The core challenge remains. There’s still not enough of US (that’s ME and YOU) to go around.

Here’s what I have noticed. We’ve become very good at injecting work tasks into what we previously referred to as ‘off-hours or down-time’. We check email while we tend the stir-fry. We fire off a text while keeping half an eye on the TV or the kids.

We’ve become better at wedging personal needs into our ‘working hours’. We take a mid-day break to ferry a parent to a doctor’s appointment. We leave work early to catch a youngster’s soccer game.

Sadly, we still fall short when it comes to working our own needs for R & R (relief and renewal) into the equation.

Action: Whether you pursue balance, flex, harmony, integration or flow, here are three strategies that are essential to sustaining yourself along the way. (more…)

Reflection: I recall from my childhood that whenever someone did something my Dad deemed stupid or thoughtless, he’d declare, “That boy oughta have his head examined.”

Flash forward several decades, and lo and behold (love that phrase), having your head examined is a reality. Access to MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) has opened up the whole world of neuroscience.

Now we can see what actually happens in the brain as we experience the ordinary challenges of life. Each day, research sheds more light on mind-body connections.

A collection of findings on the neuroscience of happiness recently caught my eye. It suggests four actions we can take to create a more positive upward spiral of happiness in our lives.

Action: Here they are:

1. Ask yourself what you are grateful for. You don’t even have to find an answer to the question to experience a positive effect. The simple act of searching for something to appreciate has the same impact on the brain as a dose of antidepressant. It boosts the ‘get happy’ neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin.

2. Label negative feelings. Use a word or two to give these rumblings of discontent a name. Consciously recognizing negative emotions reduces their physiological impact and calms the mind and body down. It’s far healthier than trying to suppress them or pretend they don’t exist.

(more…)

Welcome to the fourth in a six part series of short (3 minute) videos that explore the new topic I’ve been developing: Rekindling The Spark – Navigating Mid-Life Malaise.

Today’s focus: Malaise – How do people meet the challenge?

Other topics in this series will be released in the weeks ahead. For details on what’s coming up, see below.

Just click on the image below to access the video for this episode. Enjoy!

Watch for upcoming PAT ANSWERS Videos in this series:

• Episode #5: Malaise –  What can you do to find your way through?
• Episode #6: Malaise –  How do you help those caught in the grip?

If you missed the earlier episodes in the series, you can catch up here:

• Episode #1: Malaise – What is it anyway?
• Episode #2: Malaise – Who cares? Why does it matter?
• Episode #3: Malaise – Isn’t it just an ‘old folks’ problem?

NEWS NOTES

Presentation Topics:
This reminder is for those of you who may be planning professional development activities and serving on conference planning committees.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been featuring a lot of the ideas from the programming I’m delivering on the Rekindling The Spark/Navigating Mid Life Malaise topic.

In addition to that topic, I continue to provide keynotes, concurrents and workshops in these two areas:

• Wellness/Stress/Balance/Self Care/ Renewal
• Appreciation/Encouragement/Recognition

Do keep me in mind if you have needs or interests that fall in any of these areas. At several upcoming conferences, I’m delivering multiple sessions on different topics at the same event.

Simple Pleasures Art Show Update

The Spring Thing Art Show & Sale held March 20^th was a great success. Half of the images in the series found new homes – either with those who attended in person or those who made offers at a distance.

If you missed the event, know that it’s not too late. The remaining 13 images are still available. You can check them out at this link.

Thanks for all the live and virtual support for my art.