success

REFLECTION & ACTION: Have you ever promised those who are important in your life (including yourself) that you’ll have time for them soon? Soon is a nebulous time that never seems to roll around.

Setting targets can shift the balance. Try these approaches: Set one date a week with your partner, plan a special monthly event with each of your youngsters, hold Monday nights for a yoga class (no exceptions), or reserve Friday evenings as veg-out time.

Take the same approach in the professional arena. Don’t let promises to learn that new software program fall by the wayside. Book an appointment with yourself for the first half hour every Thursday and work your way through the tutorial 30 minutes at a time for the next six weeks.

Are you losing touch with colleagues or employees? Make lunch on Friday your plug-in point. Invite a different colleague to join you each week. Use the time to strengthen that relationship.

Choose what works for you. Create your own targets for connection, development, and renewal. Enter your target activities in your calendar and honor them as you would any high-priority commitment. (more…)

Love this observation by Dewitt Jones about the visual gifts life is presenting him with as a photographer. I think it applies to life in general:

“I don’t have to know. Something is happening and I’m having too much fun following it. I’ll just try and show up every day with all my receptors open. No brakes. No judgments. I don’t want to miss any of the gifts.”

You can read the entire article online in Outdoor Photographer.

Reflection: Moment by moment, and day by day, decisions define our future.

Say yes to too many tasks with unrealistic deadlines, and time for renewal flies out the window. Sacrifice renewal and there goes access to a clear mind and creative thought.

Say yes to fast food or high cal snacks, and sound nutrition morphs into a hazy mirage on the horizon of good intentions. Sacrifice sound nutrition and there goes the capacity to maintain a healthy weight and robust energy.

Say nasty things in the heat of the moment, and key relationships start resembling beat up appliances in a scratch and dent sale. Damage too many relationships and there goes the support and the satisfaction that accompany quality connections.

Sure, we can and do make SOME of those less desirable choices without disastrous results. None of us are immune.

We just need to be aware of the multiplier effect over time. It’s a matter of balancing near term expedience with long-term consequence.

Action: Consider the long view as often as possible. Take any action and multiply it by ten, a hundred, or a thousand.

Then ask yourself this question: “Will more choices like that move you nearer to or further from your vision of the best life possible?”

Choose with care and an eye to the future.

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Reflection: It took a while to resolve the puzzle of the resounding Thunk. Turns out there’s a robin trying to fly through our living room window.

From his perch on the bare-branched mountain ash tree, Buddy spends about an hour a day launching himself again and again at the very same window – with exactly the same result. Thunk! Drop! Back to the tree!

He’s done this for more than a week now. In fact, even as I write this message, the Thunk, Thunk, Thunk continues.

Now, I’m not a bird whisperer, so I can only imagine what he’s thinking – or even if he’s thinking. Bird brains are notorious for their small size. Is Buddy trying to fly through the glass to land in the branches of the hibiscus tree in the living room? Is he seeing his reflection, not realizing it’s his mirror image, and protecting his territory from what he perceives to be a challenger to his robin-hood? Is he just looking for a decent place to take a bath? I have no idea.

I do know that we’ve tried to discourage his behavior. (more…)

Reflection: If you’ve ever tried to change the culture or direction of a group, you’ll know how tough it can be to get everyone on board – rowing, driving, marching (pick your metaphor) in the same direction.

A few years ago, as president of a national association, I found myself repeatedly attempting to convince a couple of naysayers that the direction the Board had chosen was one of value and the ‘right’ way to go. The options had been debated, the decision had been made, and the train had left the station. However, I was still stuck at the rear urging a couple of reluctant individuals to jump on board.

I was fortunate enough to be counseled by a colleague experienced in the ways of change, who advised, “Pat, move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough.”

Those words rang true at the time, and I often call them to mind. Just last week, in a professional development session I delivered on Building An Appreciative Culture, an attendee asked, “How can we convince the lone wolf naysayers and grumps that it’s better to strike a more positive tone?” I found myself echoing my colleague’s advice, “Move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough!”

Now, sometimes there are legitimate concerns. And, sometimes there are other issues to work on or other directions to consider. And, sometimes, people are, at heart, all right with heading in the same direction; they just want to take a different route to get there. Things aren’t always black and white.

That said, there does come a point where it is simply time to get on with things. (more…)

Reflection: As long time subscribers would have noticed, last week the Pause e-zine launched a fresh new look for spring. The feedback on the new format has been overwhelmingly positive; and I thank all of you who took the time to share your reactions.

The revamp has been a long time coming. It’s been a few years since I last surveyed readers. At that time, many of you urged me to take a flying leap (figuratively, of course) into the future. You recommended jazzing up the look of the e-zine saying,“Give us some color and a bit of a design to go with the excellent content.”

I got the message. And, I dawdled. Maybe this happens with projects in your life, too. You see a need. You set an intention and a direction. Then you dance around it for a very long time.

In the case of the e-zine, I collected examples and tinkered with designs. I flirted with the idea of asking for design help. I knew shifting to a more visual presentation was going to mean moving to a different list management service, which could mean changing providers. Complications! What seemed to be a small project loomed large. I danced elsewhere.

With the writing of each weekly message, that intention lurked over my shoulder, and I continued to note my lack of progress.

When I finally worked my way through the inertia to get the design and new service arranged – and launched it last week, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and accomplishment. More than that, as a writer, I harvested that burst of energy that comes with what amounts to a fresh pen and a brand new sheet of paper. It was a wonderful reminder of how crossing a finish line can be a powerful energizer. (more…)

Reflection: It’s in a backward glance that the patterns often show up. As I think about many things that have unfolded in my life, I can usually pinpoint one action, one decision, or one choice that launched me in that direction.

Saying yes to a summer job my first year of University introduced me to a line of work that ended up changing my college major in the near term, and my career direction over the long haul.

Agreeing to a coffee with a classmate at University led me to meet and later marry the love of my life.

Writing a letter to the editor of our daily newspaper led to an invitation to write a column, which in turn launched a weekly writing habit that led to publishing my first of five books.

Asking a friend what she knew about Masters’ programs led me to discover a brand new distance learning opportunity that was perfect for my work and life situation at the time.

First steps can point us in many directions. Some lead to an uphill climb and others to a downhill slide. Much of life’s progress or regress boils down to our moment by moment choices. (more…)

REFLECTION: Ever notice how common is the tendency to share the glory when things go right, but how rare the tendency to shoulder responsibility when things go wrong? This inclination makes me think of the refrain in a very old ‘Horse and Carriage’ tune that says: ‘You can’t have one without the other.”

Maybe you’ve had a few experiences like these over the years:

* A ‘complaining’ friend or colleague regularly rains doom and gloom and pours bad news into every conversation.

* A relationship grows  tangled – caught up in hasty communication, missed cues, and unfulfilled promises.

* An employee or colleague struggles to meet expectations and deliver on commitments.

It’s oh so easy to point fingers in any direction other than our own. It’s much tougher to contemplate that we somehow might have contributed to the outcome – for better or for worse.

ACTION: Relationships and results usually live somewhere between us – as a shared responsibility. When we see them this way, we are far more likely to look at situations through a ‘reverse lens’ and ask ourselves questions like these: (more…)

REFLECTION: Few of us would borrow money unless we had to. So, it’s one of life’s great puzzles, that so many of us insist on borrowing trouble.

So far in Saskatchewan, it’s been an awesomely mild winter. Instead of enjoying the sunshine and mild temperatures, I hear people warning, “March and April are going to be a kicker – cold and miserable! Just wait and see. We’ll pay for this later!”

An item someone’s been longing to purchase goes on sale. Instead of joyously heading to the shop to pick it up, I hear that person predicting, ‘They’ll probably be all out of them by the time I get there!”

Employees respond to the announcement of a change in a process at work as if the devil himself had crafted a dastardly plan to max out the daily quota of torment and tedium.

Well … maybe March will blow like a blizzard from one end to the other. Maybe the longed for item will be out of stock. Maybe the new process will end up being as cumbersome as predicted. If so, we’ll deal with it!

Or … maybe March will be every bit as mild as the winter so far. Or, maybe the shop will have the item in stock, in the right color and size, with an additional 10% Wednesday only in-store discount. Or, maybe the change in workplace process will end up saving tons of time and energy – and turn out to be the best thing ever. If so, we’ll deal with that, too.

I know, I know…if you don’t get your hopes up you won’t be disappointed! Still, dragging a wet blanket and a storm cloud everywhere we go makes the journey tougher and darker than it needs to be. Must dodging a bullet of disappointment be the only route to happiness? (more…)

REFLECTION:  In the last few weeks, the media has been very generous with coverage of my latest book, Press Pause…Think Again. A couple of morning TV shows, and several newspapers ran features. Many clients, colleagues and friends sent along their congrats.

However, one of the most treasured comments came from my Mom, who by phone and via Facebook made a point of saying, “We’re proud of you.” Even after all these years, hearing those words from one of my parents still has a profoundly uplifting effect on me.

I’d hazard a guess that appreciative comments have a positive effect on you, too. Especially so, when they come from someone whose opinion you value.

There is something validating and uplifting about others taking an interest in what is happening in your world, shining a little light in your direction, and taking the time to let you know you’re on their radar.

Research supports the positive impact of showing an interest in others and expressing appreciation. (more…)