REFLECTION: As a youngster growing up, I was lucky enough to have both of my grandfathers in my life. Grandpa Ole was a soft spoken Norwegian with the clearest blue eyes, a sweet slow smile, and an endless garden offering up the tastiest raspberries ever. Grandpa Jack’s eyes twinkled in perpetual amusement. With a smoldering pipe always at hand, he was quick with a quip to lighten the day.
I enjoyed my Grandfathers then; but I know I would enjoy their company even more now, were I able to share a visit and a cup of tea with them today. Too late, it seems, we come to the questions we might have asked about what really matters and how to make the most of the life that lies ahead.
I thought about the conversations I might have had with my grandfathers as I read the writing of Bronnie Ware, an Australian woman who spent many years working in palliative care. Bronnie recently published a book titled, The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying. Her message is based on what she learned from seniors looking back from the end of their lives.
It’s a message worth considering, wherever we find ourselves along life’s path, as a guide for how we might choose to spend the time yet in front of us – whether that be 10, 20, 50 years or more!
These are the top five regrets:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.46 – A Bricolage Of Inspiration
December 20, 2011
In a world awash with media headlines, advertising slogans, bumper stickers, FB status updates, Tweets, and abbreviated OMG emoticons, it’s a wonder that complete thoughts still mean as much as they do.
If reader response to my ‘Quote of the Week’ section is any indicator, we continue to experience pithy ideas uttered or written by others as an opportunity to pause and ponder.
Earlier this month, I turned the tables, asking Pause readers to share their favorite quotes on balance and perspective with me. They did not disappoint.
And so, as promised, I share this contributed collection of inspiration – this bricolage – of words of meaning. A bricolage – my new favorite word – is something that is made or put together with whatever materials happen to be available. That’s a pretty apt description of all those quotes and phrases that hang on our refrigerators or bulletin boards, frame our computer screens, and adorn the tail end of our email messages.
I’ve chosen a baker’s dozen to share in the body of this e-zine. And, this link will take you to the complete collection of contributions. (Where sources were provided I’ve included them with the quotes.)
Thanks to all of you who took the time to dip into your collections and share your favs with the rest of us.
This will be my last Pause message of the year. I’m taking the week between Christmas and New Year’s to pause, relax and celebrate with family.
I’ll be devoting the first week of the New Year to a couple of specific creative projects. And, so, your first Pause e-zine of 2012 will appear in your In Box on January 11.
In the meantime, I wish you and yours the very best of the season – a time of warmth and fellowship. May you gather close and set aside your lists of things to do while you experience and remember what matters most in this wild and woolly world of ours. Peace, love, joy, hope and pause to you all.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.
Via Mo K:
Live so that they won’t have to lie at your funeral.
To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better. – Victor Hugo
Via Dawn M:
The world is wide, and I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. – Frances Willard
Via Cheryl W:
I can’t be happy every day, but at least I can be cheerful !
Via Stacy M:
Patience in the present, faith in the future, and joy in the doing. – George Perera
Via Lou M:
Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic. I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired. – Susan McHenry
Via Sherrill M:
I believe that for each of us, the presence of our being is the greatest gift we can give. Truly accepting and loving ourselves has a ripple effect beyond comprehension. – Courtney Milne
Via Susan E:
Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.
Via Allan P:
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. – Harriet Beecher Stowe
Via Janice T:
You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.
Via Debbie W:
Have a wonderful festive season and may your gifts of togetherness with family and friends be wrapped up with ribbons and bows!
On September 8, between 50 and 60 friends, family, clients and colleagues joined me in celebrating my 25th anniversary in the speaking business, the launch of my latest book (Press Pause…Think Again), and the public debut of my watercolor paintings and prints.
It was a great afternoon. It felt so good to be surrounded by all of these supporters and encouragers. I’m grateful for their presence in my life.
I’m also delighted to still be doing what I love after all these years – helping others ease their loads while building a more thoughtful and appreciative world.
I’m relieved to finally have the latest book off the press and on its way into the hands of people who are looking for a bit of relief and encouragement.
And, I’m tickled by the positive reaction to my adventures into the world of art.
I thought you might enjoy sharing in a few images from the event. You can see more photos from the day in my Facebook album. You can learn more about the new book and arrange for your very own copy by visiting the Pause Shop. Please stay tuned for upcoming bulletins on the art front.
PAUSE – 11.16 – Easily Pleased
February 15, 2011
REFLECTION: Over the years, I’ve grown to enjoy the ‘one a day’ practice. I’m not talking about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, or a one-a-day vitamin to keep the body ticking along. I’m referring to what are often called Day Books. They’re collections of short essays or readings – one for each day of the year. These reflections shine a light on ideas or offer new ways of thinking about or looking at things. The best of them spark new perspectives to carry through your day.
One of the first Day Books that I dipped into years ago was a gift from a fellow ‘balance-challenged’ friend – a volume by Anne Wilson Schaef titled Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much. I’ve enjoyed many different Day Book types and topics over the years.
This year, I’m dipping into The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. The author’s struggle with cancer and his study of the human spirit have brought a laser like focus to his thinking about life. He’s an insightful observer and a skilled writer.
The sign of a good reflection is when its impact lingers beyond 24 hours and past the next reading in the book. It’s three weeks now since I read Mark’s January 20th treatise, and I keep coming back to his idea. (more…)
PAUSE -11.01- What’s Your Intention?
January 4, 2011
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
January, for many, is a time of resolve. We create highly ambitious, jam-packed action lists of goals. In the end, we lose our focus or beat ourselves up as our super-human promises fall by the wayside.
The way I think about this practice has shifted over time. I have come to understand that HOW WE ARE in this world (our mindset – our character) is every bit as important as WHAT WE DO. And so, in recent years I’ve chosen to set one strong intention for being and not to create an exhaustive laundry list of resolutions for doing. Sure, I still make plans and set goals, but HOW I approach the demands of each day gets top billing. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.38 – Kindness
December 21, 2010
REFLECTION:
As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your life, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011.
Wishing you all the best from my family to yours.
Kindly and paus-atively yours, Pat
***
Kindness is never wasted. If it has no effect on the recipient, at least it benefits the bestower. – S. H. Simmons
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
One kind word can warm three winter months. – Japanese proverb
Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. – Robert Braul
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. – Mark Twain
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. – Seneca
The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. – William Wordsworth
Forget injuries; never forget kindness. – Confucious
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. – Mother Teresa
I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. – William Penn
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu
Be generous with kindly words, especially about those who are absent. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes. – Joseph B. Wirthlin
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. – William Arthur Ward
And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things. – Martin Scorsese
It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder’. – Aldous Huxley
Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world. – Annie Lennox
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your world, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011. (more…)
Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame Induction
December 9, 2010
What a great honor for me to be inducted into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame. The announcement was made December 7, 2010, at the annual CAPS (Canadian Association of Professional Speakers) Convention held in Montreal.
The Hall of Fame is a peer award for individuals who are recognized for their excellence on the platform, their longevity and success in the business, and their contributions to the speaking industry. That’s Warren Evans CSP, long time speaker colleague and friend (and HoF member himself) presenting me with the award. There are now 24 members from across the country who have been inducted into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame.
I am the fourth female speaker, and the second speaker working from Saskatchewan to be honored as a member of the Hall. Needless to say, I am delighted by the recognition. Even more than that, I so appreciate the support I have received over more than two decades in business from this great community of generous and talented colleagues.
Congratulations to Linda Edgecombe, CSP, a friend and colleague from British Columbia, who was also inducted on the same evening.
Thanks to Dov Friedman, CAPS Convention photographer, for so graciously gifting me with these images from the awards ceremony. This link will take you to Dov’s website, where you can learn more about his wonderful photography.
PAUSE -10.36- What Really Counts?
November 30, 2010
REFLECTION:
My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are?
Today I experienced a glorious nibble of success. I finished three pieces of jewelry. I scraped one piece-of-crap-ruined-jewelry into my metal recycling bin on my workbench. I went for a walk in the weather. I loved my husband. I connected with a few wonderful folks out there in the interwebs. I gave my cat a belly rub. I made a delicious pizza for supper and now I’m going to go eat it, with a glass of Malbec. I’m all about the quality in this life – to hell with the numbers (please do pardon my French).
This kind of day to day success is so delightful. It really is. What else could matter? Just live each day well, I say. Just do your best. The rest is not your business.”
ACTION:
There is a time, a place and a purpose for measuring, counting, monitoring. We just need to be clear that we are scoring and tracking the things that truly matter – in our work and in our lives at large.
What will you choose to keep an eye on today? Manage your attention with intention.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Be selective about your external influences.” – Brian Tracy
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
If Jillian’s voice caught your attention, you might enjoy more of her take on life and work at: http://thenoisyplume.blogspot.com/
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
Two Pause readers comment on last week’s message on TAT (Turn Around Time).
EF writes: Thanks for sharing ideas to help folks stop, look and listen to what is going on in the fast track of life when we forget to build in turn around time.
KL writes: We just returned from a trip to Ontario which included a little work, visits with relatives, a wedding and a visit with friends. It was great, but as we were coming home my husband commented that we should have built in some down time. It wasn’t rushed or even too packed – just too many.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are? (more…)
REFLECTION: As a youngster growing up, I was lucky enough to have both of my grandfathers in my life. Grandpa Ole was a soft spoken Norwegian with the clearest blue eyes, a sweet slow smile, and an endless garden offering up the tastiest raspberries ever. Grandpa Jack’s eyes twinkled in perpetual amusement. With a smoldering pipe always at hand, he was quick with a quip to lighten the day.
REFLECTION: Over the years, I’ve grown to enjoy the ‘one a day’ practice. I’m not talking about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, or a one-a-day vitamin to keep the body ticking along. I’m referring to what are often called Day Books. They’re collections of short essays or readings – one for each day of the year. These reflections shine a light on ideas or offer new ways of thinking about or looking at things. The best of them spark new perspectives to carry through your day.
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
The Hall of Fame is a peer award for individuals who are recognized for their excellence on the platform, their longevity and success in the business, and their contributions to the speaking industry. That’s Warren Evans CSP, long time speaker colleague and friend (and HoF member himself) presenting me with the award. There are now 24 members from across the country who have been inducted into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame.
I am the fourth female speaker, and the second speaker working from Saskatchewan to be honored as a member of the Hall. Needless to say, I am delighted by the recognition. Even more than that, I so appreciate the support I have received over more than two decades in business from this great community of generous and talented colleagues.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.