perspective

Talking and thinking about it … or acting and moving on it? Robert Genn makes a compelling argument for one of these approaches in this week’s Painter’s Keys blog post, Two Artists. And, the concept applies not just to artists, either.

I can see a number of areas in my life where I have spent or am spending way too much time in one vein and not nearly enough time in the other. How about you?

Reflection: There’s more than enough confusion to go around these days. Options and opinions abound. It’s easy to be pushed by a persuasive argument, or shoved by a compelling assertion.

In the face of it all, the central questions are really, “How do YOU feel?” and “What do YOU think?” And how best do you tap into your beliefs and choose actions that fit with the values you hold to be important?

The answer is not more input, it’s more insight. And insight is mostly an inside job that involves disengaging from the commotion around us while tapping the core within. Clear head…clear path.

Action: If you don’t yet have a regular mindfulness practice – something that helps you stay aware of what’s going on in your body and your mind – there is still time to develop one. (more…)

Reflection: A recent movie featuring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman popularized the idea of the Bucket List – a set of experiences you hope/plan/long to have before you die (AKA ‘kicking the bucket’). Bucket Lists tend to feature splashy adventures and stretch experiences – the things that dreams are made of!

I actually find another bucket metaphor equally intriguing.  It’s an idea put forward by authors Rath and Clifton who suggest that each of us owns an invisible bucket and an invisible dipper. As we move through our lives, we are constantly filling or draining each other’s buckets of positive emotion – based on what we do and say.

We can top up another’s bucket with a positive comment or drain their bucket with a thoughtless action. Our interactions with others are rarely neutral – and those actions reflectively enhance or diminish our own levels in the process. As in, filling another’s bucket tops up our own bucket, too. And vice versa.

A full bucket generates positive outlooks and plenty of energy. An empty bucket spawns sour outlooks and gorbs of apathy.

Action: I like the image and I appreciate the idea. However, I suggest we take it one step further. (more…)

Bourbon St Restaurant In Bend, Oregon

Reflection:  It’s the final day of a one-week painting class in beautiful sunny Bend, Oregon. The town is an artist’s delight – interesting boutiques, sidewalk cafes, flowers tumbling from every lamppost. The instructor is equally delightful – skilled, available and encouraging. The only downside (and it’s a minor one, at that) is that the class is delivered entirely indoors – no plein air painting at all.

And so, on the final day of class, I promise myself a treat – painting over lunch outdoors. I’d scouted out the ideal spot from which to sketch: a sidewalk café with a tasty menu, kitty corner from a great little vignette. My target: a quaint little shop with odd bits and pieces tumbling out onto the sidewalk, framed by flower pots, lamp post and cast iron benches.

I arrive early enough to snag the perfect outdoor table. I place my order for lunch, and pull my art supplies from my bag. At the very moment I grab my pen, flip open my sketchbook and look up to begin, a massive brown UPS delivery truck pulls into the loading zone directly between me and the target of my artistic pursuit.

While initially annoyed, I reckon it’s a five-minute loading zone and he is a man on a mission, so not to worry. I enjoy a sip of my wine, soak up a few rays, and start on my lunch. However, my patient equanimity doesn’t last for long. (more…)

Reflection:  It’s October, and the geese are marshaling along the river. In the pre-dawn of my morning walk, I hear them long before I see them. Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! You’d swear you were approaching a major traffic jam on a morning commute in a congested city anywhere in the world.

Until, that is, the birds take to the air. At the break of dawn, one by one the gaggles of geese leave the river heading for greener pastures and points south.  As they lift from the water, wave after wave of syncopated wing beats sound just like a powerful ovation at the end of a fabulous performance.

It was one of the passing regulars along my walking route who brought it to my attention. In the midst of an especially long ovation, she greeted me with a cheery smile and this comment, “Nice of the geese to applaud our exercise program, don’t you think?”

This made me smile and wonder how often we take our own accomplishments for granted, and whether we might be missing other opportunities for small celebrations of things that are going right in our world.

You may find, that some days it’s tougher than others to keep on keeping on: to get out of bed in the morning, to tie on a pair of shoes and get some exercise, to tend to the relationships in your life, to deal with yet another set of challenges at work or at home. And yet most of us do what we need to do – day after day after day – often taking our own contributions for granted.

About a year ago, I started intentionally collecting and creating ideas for how we might do a stronger, more consistent job of celebrating some of our own success. And today, I’m delighted to announce (cue the geese) the launch of a brand new booklet called, Take A Bow – 67 Ways To Pause For Applause, Celebrate Your Success, And Keep Your Spirits High. You can read more about it in the Resource Of The Week section below. (more…)

Reflection: Have you ever found yourself hoping against all hope, that a great big honking chunk of open time would drop into your lap?

Well the chance of a bonus hour, day or week presenting itself is slim. And so I continue to be intrigued, when people tell me that their lives could be so much better and happier IF they just had more time – time to exercise, time to eat right, time to take a vacation, time to visit with friends, time to get the jump on a project at work or at home.

I’m starting to believe, that it’s more about the choice than it is about the time. You know we’ve all got the same 24 hours. Nothing new there.

Still, every minute of our day we make choices that are either expeditious or auspicious. Expeditious: dispatched with speed and efficiency. Auspicious: conducive to future success. Expeditious and auspicious aren’t always in conflict, but neither do they always lead to the same outcome. In both cases, consequences follow.

You’re late. So you toss your partner a harried ‘See you later’ over your shoulder instead of pausing to exchange a warm embrace and loving kiss. Time diff: 30 seconds.

You’re hungry. You grab a bag of potato chips and flip the lid off the high cal dip, instead of making the extra effort to dig further into the fridge for that bag of ready-to-eat carrots. Time diff: 1 minute (more…)

Reflection: So, what do ya’ think? Or do you?

In our go-go, what’s next, action-oriented world, down time for tapping in to our inner world of thoughts and feelings can be hard to find. In some cases, compared to the get ‘er done action mentality, time to rest and reflect is seen as wasteful not valuable.

The brain science case for the value of pause is growing. In idle mode (when daydreaming and letting your mind wander), the brain is active in different ways. Instead of reacting to new stuff on the incoming track, it hums along connecting our mind’s storehouse of experiences, ideas, and emotions – making sense and making meaning.

If you want to consolidate what you’re learning, imagine possibilities, stay in tune with your emotional state, assess whether a course of action is a sound moral or ethical choice, give your brain a chance to do its thing.

Step away from external commotion and outside input. Drop inside and let your brain idle for a while.

Action: Here are five ways to give your brain a mental breather and turn your focus inward. (more…)

Reflection: Have you ever tried to force the world (i.e – everything and everyone else) in your direction? That is, to plan, organize, coordinate, or coerce towards particular outcomes that you have in mind. Not infrequently, ‘the world’ has other ideas.

Over the years, I’ve learned that frustrating myself is not really a preferred state, and that there is an alternate approach called, ‘Let Go & Let Flow’. I was reminded how sweet an experience that can be on this summer’s Rocky Mountain adventure with my youngest daughter, Lindsay.

Back in April, we set the intention for a mother-daughter get away. We arranged three things: time on our calendars, childcare for her young son, and a cabin at Paradise Bungalows. As for the rest, we let it go and let it flow.

We had an awesome adventure as the world unfolded around us in the most serendipitous ways:

• My oldest daughter and her husband returned from their summer vacation the day before we traveled through Calgary, providing a place to overnight and a chance to get caught up on their news.
• West coast brother and sister in law were in Calgary for a wedding, and able to spring themselves from the festivities long enough to share a coffee and a visit while we were in town.
• On our first day at Lake Louise, the sun shone on our hike up to Agnes Lake and during our rest at the Tea House at the top. Just moments after we returned to our cabin, the skies burst and the rain thundered down. By then we were in the mood for a hot soak and a nap accompanied by the soothing sounds of rain pounding on the roof (and, thankfully, not on our heads).
• The Baker Creek Bistro re-opened the week of our visit and offered the most spectacular smoked trout pasta – and a bonus black bear sighting en route to dinner.
• Despite the busyness of the August season in the Rockies, parking spots magically appeared every single time we needed one – without fail.

And so it went.

I can take no credit whatsoever for any of these lucky circumstances. All the planning in the world wouldn’t have guaranteed those outcomes. But resting in the possibilities of the moment and being willing to go with the flow made for an easy enjoyable journey. (more…)

Reflection: 

How do you typically respond when someone shares good news with you?

Suppose a colleague or friend shares news about their awesome summer road trip. Which of these responses are you most likely to choose?

1. Say “Hmph!” and turn away.
2. Say “ Gee that sounds like way too much time at the wheel, cooped up in a car with the kids. I bet it was exhausting, putting on all those miles!” while frowning and shaking your head.
3. Say “Heh, good for you!” showing little or no emotion.
4. Say “I’m delighted your vacation went so well. I know how much you were looking forward to it. Let’s have lunch so you can fill me in on the details!” while smiling and maintaining eye contact.

All the responses have positive or negative consequences for your relationship, and option 4 stands the best chance of building it up.

In her research on relationships, Shelley Gable from the University of California, has learned that the quality of your reaction can make a huge difference and contribute directly to either strengthening or diminishing the relationship. She describes four categories of replies. (more…)

REFLECTION & ACTION: To try or not to try—that is the question! A fine line can be drawn between mastery and ceaseless striving, and an even finer line between giving up and letting go. The distinction rests in action and control. Consider these four scenarios.

When you find yourself in a situation in which you have some control and you take action, you are on the road to mastery. You’ve chosen a strong direction and a fine destination.

When you keep pushing in a situation in which you have no control, you beat your head against the proverbial brick wall. Your ceaseless striving yields bruises and headaches.

In a situation in which you have control and you do nothing, you’re throwing up your hands and giving up. This action is sometimes appropriate—one can only summon the energy for so many struggles at once. However, when used as a constant pattern, you run the risk of bouncing around at the whim of the world.

When you have no control over an outcome or decision and you stop trying to push, shove and conquer, you are letting go. It’s often a wise choice in a powerless situation.

To live, think, and work effectively, exercise your influence in the areas in which you have control. Once you’ve reviewed your options and done your due diligence, then make your decision and act. That’s mastery!

Let go of the rest. You won’t help yourself or others if you continue to fret and stew about situations that are far beyond your influence and control. (more…)