overload

Reflection & Action: It was a poor day to renew my driver’s license. At the insurance office, problems with the phone lines made credit and debit card transactions impossible. Customers dug for cheques and scrounged spare cash, or dashed down the block to the cash machine.

The cashiers did their best, but progress was slow. A fellow who arrived just moments after I entered the queue did not appreciate the delay. Like a bull in the paddock, he shifted from foot to foot, snorting and pawing the ground.  Jingling the change in his pocket and rustling the papers in his hand did nothing to calm his jangling nerves. Neither did repeated checks of his wristwatch. Even the disgusted glares he zinged at the cashiers brought him no relief.

Just a couple of minutes after his arrival, a newcomer fell in line behind the restless rustler. In the loudest possible voice, the raging bull cautioned the woman that he hoped she’d brought a book and planned to spend the day, because he’d been waiting in line all morning!!!

In less than five minutes, it was my turn at the counter. I leaned in close to the cashier and told her I hoped she had 911 on her speed dial, as I thought our friend, the raging bull, was about to pop an artery. She chuckled and rolled her eyes, clearly relieved to find an understanding customer with a sense of humor.

Life is full of delays and detours. We ought not to be surprised when we hit a speed bump. When life does not unfold as expected, forget snorting and pawing the ground. Look for the humor. Empathize with others caught in the bind. There are always other responses beyond the first frustrated reaction. (more…)

Reflection & Action: When the load is too heavy, and life is not as you wish it to be, it’s tempting to hope that someone else will read your mind, and solve your problems.

As much as you might dream of a dramatic rescue, white knights on chargers are hard to come by these days.  And, a lot of potential white knights are having a tough time staying on their horses. The ride is just too wild.

If you really want a different outcome, you cannot bite the bullet, suffer in silence and hope for the best.

What to do? Collect and share real information about the situation. Actively negotiate options, set reasonable limits, shift deadlines, and draw on extra resources. Talk directly to those who control the situation – don’t just complain to those who are game to commiserate but who have little or no power and influence.

If you are the one ‘in charge’, make it ‘safe to say’. When you react positively to those who speak their minds and hearts, more people will be more direct. You will hear about real concerns and have access to real information – not just want others think you want to hear. This will help you make clearer assessments and helpful adjustments to ease the frustrations of the moment.

Together with those who really tell it like it is, you create better circumstances now and build more trust and capacity for the future. (more…)

Reflection & Action: As I set up for my early morning seminar, one of the attendees arrived in a very sorry state. He was literally shaking and vibrating. I stopped my preparations to see if he was all right.

It turned out he had just navigated one of the busiest freeways in the city to get to the program. He lives in a rural area, and the non-stop, high-speed, horn-honking traffic had pushed him far outside his comfort zone.

What bothered him most was the way the other drivers cut in front of his vehicle. When I asked why people cutting in front irritated him so much, he looked at me like I was from Mars and exclaimed, “Because they’ll get there before I do!”

Now the real source of his frustration was apparent. In his mind, he’d run and lost a race, and he was livid.

I suggested he think about freeway driving as a dance rather than a race. Someone cuts in front … presto, new partner! One driver cuts from the left and another from the right … and doh-si-doh, you’re dancing the butterfly! Tail lights flash up ahead … brake dancer!

In truth, whether he raced or danced, the trip would have taken the same amount of time.  However, his state of mind on arrival would have been completely different. He would have been present to the more positive aspect of the experience.

Instead of having run the Indy 500 and lost, he would have danced all the way to the conference room and been entertained. Sometimes the pressure is all in our minds! (more…)

Editor’s Note: Since it received such a positive response last year, once again during the months of July and August, your weekly Pause will feature nine messages from the ‘Best Of Pause’. These are readers’ favorite messages from the earliest years of the Pause e-zine.

Featuring these Pause Gems will give me a bit of a breather to regroup, research, and develop some great new material. It will also introduce our more recent subscribers to some of those early ideas.

Whether you are a long time subscriber, or new to the list, I sincerely hope you enjoy these gems. Have a wonderful summer. I’ll be back again in September with your regular Pause format featuring all new info and resources.

Reflection & Action: Conference over. Sleep long. Body rested. Hot shower. Room-service breakfast. Travel day. Check schedule. Oops!

If I’m taking the airport shuttle, I’ve got 30 minutes to dry hair, dress, pack clothes and conference collectibles, pay bill, check out, and get on board. I shift into serious hustling mode. Heart rate rises as the clock speeds on. Then brain kicks in.

Shuttle leaves in less than 30 minutes. It winds through a 60 minute, multi-stop route to the airport. Cabs leave any time, head directly for the airport, and take 20 minutes on a sleepy Sunday morning.

Price of shuttle? $12. Price of cab? $24. Price of sanity? The difference – just $12. Who says you can’t buy time – and peace of mind? (more…)

Reflection: What does the phrase, Truth and Reconciliation, mean to you? I’ve always associated the process with large-scale social issues. However, I’m beginning to see how it could apply to our attempts to create more balance in our everyday lives.

The concept first came to my attention (and maybe yours, too) during the mid ‘90s in news from South Africa. Over the course of several years, public and private hearings gave citizens a forum to air the truth and trauma of their experiences under the apartheid regime.

Here in Canada, a similar process is underway at this very moment, as First Nations people share the impact of their experiences with the residential school system.

In both cases, the intention is similar: to heal deep wounds and build a more inclusive, equitable, respectful future.

In our daily lives and workplaces, T&R might apply in situations like these. (more…)

Reflection: Moment by moment, and day by day, decisions define our future.

Say yes to too many tasks with unrealistic deadlines, and time for renewal flies out the window. Sacrifice renewal and there goes access to a clear mind and creative thought.

Say yes to fast food or high cal snacks, and sound nutrition morphs into a hazy mirage on the horizon of good intentions. Sacrifice sound nutrition and there goes the capacity to maintain a healthy weight and robust energy.

Say nasty things in the heat of the moment, and key relationships start resembling beat up appliances in a scratch and dent sale. Damage too many relationships and there goes the support and the satisfaction that accompany quality connections.

Sure, we can and do make SOME of those less desirable choices without disastrous results. None of us are immune.

We just need to be aware of the multiplier effect over time. It’s a matter of balancing near term expedience with long-term consequence.

Action: Consider the long view as often as possible. Take any action and multiply it by ten, a hundred, or a thousand.

Then ask yourself this question: “Will more choices like that move you nearer to or further from your vision of the best life possible?”

Choose with care and an eye to the future.

(more…)

Reflection:  Chances are good that the last time you meandered through the tall grass or took a stroll in the woods, your pants and socks picked up more than a few sticky burrs. They’re those pesky seeds that eagerly stick their claws into you, and hitchhike a ride from there to who knows where. The very same critters that inspired Velcro.

Attacked by burrs is how I feel these days as I move through my office, our home and the garden. Each time I turn around, it seems another undone task insinuates its way into my consciousness, stakes a claim on my brain, and plants a hook in my mind. Answer this email, finish that article, call that client. Fold that laundry, fix that appliance, clean that corner. Fertilize those plants, prune those shrubs, pick that rhubarb.

Most time management references advise keeping a series of lists on which you place all of the items clamoring for your time and energy. Then you focus your attention and narrow down the list by choosing your priorities for the week and the day. Neat and tidy, eh? Still doesn’t account for the attack of the burrs!

It’s true, writing things down does minimize the mental reminders (‘Remember this, don’t forget that!”) that trampoline their way through your brain. And prioritizing does focus attention. However, I still notice the undone as I move through the day, and am oh so easily hooked on my way by.

Action: So, here’s my new practice: catch and release! I figure if it works for anglers, it could work for someone angling for a new take on a sticky situation. (more…)

Reflection: There may be many things worse than ‘not knowing’ or ‘living with uncertainty’, but as one of life’s stressors, it’s got to be high on the list.

I recently received a query from a Pause reader who is part of an organization in the midst of downsizing. Although she, herself, knows that she will continue to have her job, many co-workers find themselves in different circumstances.

For those who have learned that they will leave, there is some sense of relief in being in the know – and being able to start making plans.

Others do not yet know their fate, and may not know for some time. A few have learned they will need to compete for their own positions. For these individuals, the situation is precarious. She wonders how to support her colleagues who find themselves in limbo.

There’s no one size fits all answer to that question. Different people respond to uncertainty in different ways. Some are devastated and immobilized by it, while others take it in their stride. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

It can be tough to be a bystander in the lives of others who are hurting, and not sure how to help.

Action: Should you find yourself in this kind of situation, here are a handful of helpful practices to undertake yourself and encourage in others. (more…)

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. (more…)

Reflection: If you’ve ever tried to change the culture or direction of a group, you’ll know how tough it can be to get everyone on board – rowing, driving, marching (pick your metaphor) in the same direction.

A few years ago, as president of a national association, I found myself repeatedly attempting to convince a couple of naysayers that the direction the Board had chosen was one of value and the ‘right’ way to go. The options had been debated, the decision had been made, and the train had left the station. However, I was still stuck at the rear urging a couple of reluctant individuals to jump on board.

I was fortunate enough to be counseled by a colleague experienced in the ways of change, who advised, “Pat, move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough.”

Those words rang true at the time, and I often call them to mind. Just last week, in a professional development session I delivered on Building An Appreciative Culture, an attendee asked, “How can we convince the lone wolf naysayers and grumps that it’s better to strike a more positive tone?” I found myself echoing my colleague’s advice, “Move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough!”

Now, sometimes there are legitimate concerns. And, sometimes there are other issues to work on or other directions to consider. And, sometimes, people are, at heart, all right with heading in the same direction; they just want to take a different route to get there. Things aren’t always black and white.

That said, there does come a point where it is simply time to get on with things. (more…)