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Pause Gem #12 – Speaking Up

Reflection & Action: When the load is too heavy, and life is not as you wish it to be, it’s tempting to hope that someone else will read your mind, and solve your problems.

As much as you might dream of a dramatic rescue, white knights on chargers are hard to come by these days.  And, a lot of potential white knights are having a tough time staying on their horses. The ride is just too wild.

If you really want a different outcome, you cannot bite the bullet, suffer in silence and hope for the best.

What to do? Collect and share real information about the situation. Actively negotiate options, set reasonable limits, shift deadlines, and draw on extra resources. Talk directly to those who control the situation – don’t just complain to those who are game to commiserate but who have little or no power and influence.

If you are the one ‘in charge’, make it ‘safe to say’. When you react positively to those who speak their minds and hearts, more people will be more direct. You will hear about real concerns and have access to real information – not just want others think you want to hear. This will help you make clearer assessments and helpful adjustments to ease the frustrations of the moment.

Together with those who really tell it like it is, you create better circumstances now and build more trust and capacity for the future.

 

Quote: “We have surrounded ourselves with time-saving technological gadgetry, only to be overwhelmed by plans that cannot be carried out, appointments that cannot be honored, schedules that cannot be fulfilled, and deadlines that cannot be met.” – Jacob Needleman

 

Resource Of The Week: Print and post your own Pauseworks Hammock Postcard using this link to the Pauseworks Freebies collection.

 

Readers Write: Alison R. writes: The organization I work for has an insatiable appetite to consume management time.  Since the organization doesn’t appear able or interested in monitoring itself, I am choosing to do it for the organization.  I refuse to engage in all activities, meetings etc.  I pick and choose those that must be done or make sense strategically.

Marg F. writes: I stopped doing the books for two charitable organizations. I hate bookkeeping, even though I am an accountant! I would rather spend time with people after spending a day with numbers. It really made a difference in my life. I learned that just because I have a unique skill, I am not obliged to give it away. I can choose to do something I like. Then both parties win. What did I start? Gardening on weekends in the summer. Sewing and playing chess on weekends in the winter. Vacationing in Fairmont! I am much happier now.

 

Editor’s Footnote: Since it received such a positive response last year, once again during the months of July and August, your weekly Pause will feature nine messages from the ‘Best Of Pause’. These are readers’ favorite messages from the earliest years of the Pause e-zine.

Featuring these Pause Gems will give me a bit of a breather to regroup, research, and develop some great new material. It will also introduce our more recent subscribers to some of those early ideas.

Whether you are a long time subscriber, or new to the list, I sincerely hope you enjoy these gems. Have a wonderful summer. I’ll be back again in September with your regular Pause format featuring all new info and resources.

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Category:
Life Balance, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

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