REFLECTION: Sometimes a turn of phrase is all that’s required to accomplish a shift in experience. See if this change in phrasing makes a difference for you.
Most of us have a ‘To Do’ list of one kind of another. Many of us have multiple ‘To Do’ lists – for our various roles as parents, employees, bosses, and volunteers. September is often a season of new beginnings. We fire up projects that have languished over the summer. We register ourselves and others in fall activities, and generally ‘get back at it’ after our summer hiatus. Partner our own intentions with requests from others, and it doesn’t take long for those lists to mushroom into a full blown state of overwhelm.
At the point of seeming too muchness, it’s easy to forget why we wanted to do these things in the first place. Yet at some point we were actually looking forward to many of them. Tapping back into that initial desire and intention could change your everyday experience.
ACTION: Try this as an experiment. Turn your ‘To Do List’ into an ‘I’m Looking Forward To’ list. As you note down the activities at hand, think about how much might be looking forward to: sharing this experience, moving that task forward, making a contribution. Let that excitement and anticipation fuel your energy as you work your way through your day and your list.
Full credit goes to speaker friend and colleague, Sam Horn, for bringing this concept to my attention. I encourage you to read more from her about how you might turn this idea of reframing your ‘to do’ list into a short, medium and long term ‘ looking forward to’ list. See the link to Sam’s blog post in the resource of the week link below.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Begin each day as if it were on purpose.” – Author Unknown
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK: For Sam’s commentary on ‘To Do or To Look Forward To’, see her Serendestiny Blog.
READERS WRITE: In response to last week’s message on ‘Flourishing‘, Pause reader NM writes: This is great, Pat. Thank you! I would also note about the Relationships area, that (in addition to positive connections with others, what also matters is) a positive relationship with one’s self.
PAUSE -11.32- Flourishing
September 6, 2011
REFLECTION: There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to live a more satisfying life. I’ve even been known to dispense a word or two myself! 🙂 Sometimes, though, the source gets lost along the way.
For example, there’s an echo of advice living somewhere deep in my mind that prescribes these three pre-requisites for happiness: something to do, something to look forward to, and someone (or something) to love.
There are elements of that buried wisdom in what was my most engaging read of the summer: Martin Seligman’s latest book, Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.
In his earlier work, Authentic Happiness, Seligman noted three essentials for happiness: Positive Emotion, Engagement, and Meaning. Positive emotion boils down to good feelings (pleasure, warmth, comfort, etc.) Engagement is about using your best strengths and talents to be in flow – deeply absorbed by the activity at hand. Meaning relates to being in the service of something larger than yourself.
Over the last decade, further research has extended Seligman’s thinking and theory. (more…)
PAUSE – Pause Gem #6- Yes, No, or Middle Ground?
August 9, 2011
REFLECTION & ACTION:
Will you? Would you? Can you? Could you? On those short questions hang the hooks of overcommitment. Will you take on this project? Would you look after the kids for the weekend? Could you chair this committee?
The trap lies in believing there’s only a yes or no answer to each question.
Say “yes” and when you realize you don’t have time for the task or that it’s not a fit with your interests or priorities, you reward yourself with resentment. Say “no” and when you suffer second thoughts about the wisdom of your decision or its possible effect on your relationships or future, you reward yourself with guilt.
People often overlook the possibility of middle ground. Maybe you would feel comfortable taking on the project if you could shift other deadlines. Maybe you would take the kids on Friday or Saturday night but not for the whole weekend. Maybe you won’t chair the committee, but you would help recruit someone who will.
The search for middle ground starts with a time out. By stepping back from the request, thinking about the impact, looking at priorities and schedules, you may be able to find one option or several that aren’t based on guilt or resentment. Look for commitments you can make with a willing heart. Find ways you can help and still be “sustainably” productive over the long haul.
Middle ground runs wide and deep. It’s rich with possibilities for reasonable loads and healthy relationships.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.” – Neil Kinnock
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
“The year I was president of two organizations was frustrating. Both held their monthly board meetings on the same Tuesday-one from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. and the other starting at 7:00 p.m. When my traveling husband was in town, the tight schedule was not too much of a problem. However one day when my husband couldn’t be home, I had to arrange for one babysitter to pick up my daughter from another babysitter, take her home, and stay with her until I could get home about 10:00 p.m. At that point, I found the backbone to say ‘no’ to some of the requests that came my way.” – Debby C.
“When I’m asked for something that requires my time, I simply say, ‘I want to think about it. I’ll get back to you.’ This gives me time to recover from the shock of another request and see if it fits in my calendar. I wear the idea awhile, see what it feels like, see which way I lean, and make a decision. When I say ‘yes,’ I really mean it!” – Denise N.
REFLECTION & ACTION: Will you? Would you? Can you? Could you? On those short questions hang the hooks of overcommitment. Will you take on this project? Would you look after the kids for the weekend? Could you chair this committee?
The trap lies in believing there’s only a yes or no answer to each question.
Say “yes” and when you realize you don’t have time for the task or that it’s not a fit with your interests or priorities, you reward yourself with resentment. Say “no” and when you suffer second thoughts about the wisdom of your decision or its possible effect on your relationships or future, you reward yourself with guilt.
People often overlook the possibility of middle ground. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.29 – Recess-itation
June 14, 2011
REFLECTION:
Remember recess? Racing to the ball diamond for a game of scratch, hoping you were quick enough to nab your spot in line so you’d actually get a turn at bat before the bell rang? Dashing to the swings to pump yourself up with no teacher telling you to sit still and quit fidgeting? Screaming at the top of your lungs, “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Jimmy come over!” Or maybe just spending a quiet moment chatting with a buddy, trading secrets?
Now that we are no longer stuck in elementary school, and so much more adult, we’ve outgrown the need for recess. Or have we? Survey after survey reports that people who take a break from their daily routine to engage in activities that help them emotionally blow off steam, physically rest, socially reconnect, or mentally regroup are not only more relaxed and more engaged, but also much more productive.
Need a refresher on the research? Check out a few of the stats on the ‘What’s The Plus?’ page of the Why Balance? section of the Pauseworks Balance Centre.
ACTION:
So, if recess is part of our past, but the need for it is still present, what’s a body to do? The Big Kid, Rich DiGorilamo, suggests we resurrect the past and put it to work in the service of the present. In simple terms: Bring Back Recess.
Rich is the founder of Recess At Work Day – a day to make time to recharge and enjoy each other’s company. Scheduled for the third Thursday in June, this year, Recess At Work Day happens to fall on June 16. That would be … tomorrow! That still gives you 24 hours to scheme up an engaging break for you and your colleagues.
What to do? There are plenty of possibilities. Here are a few that spring to mind:
Balloons (animal twists or hand badminton challenge)
In-House Lemonade Stand (to raise $ for your fav charity)
Joke Swap (all in good taste of course)
Ice Cream Cones or Sundaes (complete with a cool selection of toppings)
Color Off (a new box of crayons and flip chart paper for each team)
Outdoors Meeting (Remember trying to convince your teacher to hold class outside?)
Juke Box Coffee Break (oldies tunes and specialty coffees)
Your ideas here: ………, ………, ………..
It doesn’t have to be expensive; and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Recess was never either of those things! Think simple, impromptu, easy, and fun.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes! I’ll be teetering and tottering, waiting for your reports!
_________________________
QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” – Bill Vaughan
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation” – Plato.
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more info and inspiration on Recess At Work Day, check out Rich’s website.
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
Pause Reader LV writes: “I needed you today and all I had to do was open up my newsletter…thanks.”
To which I would reply, “You are more than welcome, LV and all of you. It’s a treat to share these insights, ideas and tools with you each week. I’m delighted when you find them useful, and even more delighted when you let me know.”
REFLECTION: Remember recess? Racing to the ball diamond for a game of scratch, hoping you were quick enough to nab your spot in line so you’d actually get a turn at bat before the bell rang? Dashing to the swings to pump yourself up with no teacher telling you to sit still and quit fidgeting? Screaming at the top of your lungs, “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Jimmy come over!” Or maybe just spending a quiet moment chatting with a buddy, trading secrets?
Now that we are no longer stuck in elementary school, and so much more adult, we’ve outgrown the need for recess. Or have we? Survey after survey reports that people who take a break from their daily routine to engage in activities that help them emotionally blow off steam, physically rest, socially reconnect, or mentally regroup are not only more relaxed and more engaged, but also much more productive.
Need a refresher on the research? Check out a few of the stats on the ‘What’s The Plus?’ page of the Why Balance? section of the Pauseworks Balance Centre.
ACTION: So, if recess is part of our past, but the need for it is still present, what’s a body to do? The Big Kid, Rich DiGorilamo, suggests we resurrect the past and put it to work in the service of the present. In simple terms: Bring Back Recess. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.22 – Game Changing Questions
March 29, 2011
REFLECTION:
It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
When I was in my early 20’s, and Harold was already a couple of decades further down this road of life, he and I were teamed up as staff partners at a youth development event. While our assigned group of thirty teenagers chatted and milled around us, we settled into the front seats of our charter bus for a short road trip to an out-of-town venue. As the bus reached the highway and headed for the open road, Harold turned to me and inquired, “So, tell me, young lady, exactly what do you intend to do with your life?”
Now, I’d heard a variation or two on that question before. From the time we can talk, as children, we are quizzed by the adults in our lives. “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” But this was not that kind of question. There was no condescension, no playfully poking fun, no making light conversation.
It was a simple, sincere, inquiry that carried a raft of implied messages – these amongst them. That even at this young age and early stage in my career, he saw me as capable of serious intentions and grand ambitions. That it was not too early – nor too late – to lift up my eyes and set my sails. That my plans might include a contribution or two to the lives of others and not just focus on my own self interests.
For me, it was a game-changing question. It prompted a conversation that drilled to a much deeper level of thinking. The impact of that question stayed with me through the years. It was a question that popped to mind recently when I read several bits of new research describing the importance of meaningful work in developing a sense of engagement in people’s lives and workplaces.
ACTION:
So, when was the last time you asked yourself – no matter how many years you think might lie ahead – “Just what, exactly, do you intend to do with the rest of your life?” In the end, it’s up to each one of us to set our sights on a meaningful future – to chart the destination, map out the terrain, and gas up the vehicle for the road ahead.
We also share that road with others. Every day, we are in contact and conversation with colleagues, friends and family. Many times, you and I might have an opportunity to introduce a game changing question that will trigger others to think differently about their situations, their prospects, and life’s possibilities. How often do we take the chance, and how often do we miss the moment? (That’s just the kind of a question you could count on Harold to ask.)
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Finding meaning can be more important than finding amusement.” – Marshall Goldsmith
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Marshall Goldsmith, whom I’ve mentioned in previous editions of Pause, coaches organizational leaders around the world. His recent work is focusing not on what organizations can do to engage their employees – but rather on how individuals can take responsibility for engaging themselves in their lives and their work. You can read a bit more about his latest thinking at: http://tinyurl.com/4ccafx7
REFLECTION: It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
When I was in my early 20’s, and Harold was already a couple of decades further down this road of life, he and I were teamed up as staff partners at a youth development event. While our assigned group of thirty teenagers chatted and milled around us, we settled into the front seats of our charter bus for a short road trip to an out-of-town venue. As the bus reached the highway and headed for the open road, Harold turned to me and inquired, “So, tell me, young lady, exactly what do you intend to do with your life?”
Now, I’d heard a variation or two on that question before. From the time we can talk, as children, we are quizzed by the adults in our lives. “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” But this was not that kind of question. There was no condescension, no playfully poking fun, no making light conversation.
It was a simple, sincere, inquiry that carried a raft of implied messages – these amongst them. That even at this young age and early stage in my career, he saw me as capable of serious intentions and grand ambitions. That it was not too early – nor too late – to lift up my eyes and set my sails. That my plans might include a contribution or two to the lives of others and not just focus on my own self interests.
REFLECTION: Over the years, I’ve grown to enjoy the ‘one a day’ practice. I’m not talking about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, or a one-a-day vitamin to keep the body ticking along. I’m referring to what are often called Day Books. They’re collections of short essays or readings – one for each day of the year. These reflections shine a light on ideas or offer new ways of thinking about or looking at things. The best of them spark new perspectives to carry through your day.
One of the first Day Books that I dipped into years ago was a gift from a fellow ‘balance-challenged’ friend – a volume by Anne Wilson Schaef titled Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much. I’ve enjoyed many different Day Book types and topics over the years.
This year, I’m dipping into The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. The author’s struggle with cancer and his study of the human spirit have brought a laser like focus to his thinking about life. He’s an insightful observer and a skilled writer.
The sign of a good reflection is when its impact lingers beyond 24 hours and past the next reading in the book. It’s three weeks now since I read Mark’s January 20th treatise, and I keep coming back to his idea. (more…)
PAUSE -11.01- What’s Your Intention?
January 4, 2011
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
January, for many, is a time of resolve. We create highly ambitious, jam-packed action lists of goals. In the end, we lose our focus or beat ourselves up as our super-human promises fall by the wayside.
The way I think about this practice has shifted over time. I have come to understand that HOW WE ARE in this world (our mindset – our character) is every bit as important as WHAT WE DO. And so, in recent years I’ve chosen to set one strong intention for being and not to create an exhaustive laundry list of resolutions for doing. Sure, I still make plans and set goals, but HOW I approach the demands of each day gets top billing. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.38 – Kindness
December 21, 2010
REFLECTION:
As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your life, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011.
Wishing you all the best from my family to yours.
Kindly and paus-atively yours, Pat
***
Kindness is never wasted. If it has no effect on the recipient, at least it benefits the bestower. – S. H. Simmons
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
One kind word can warm three winter months. – Japanese proverb
Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. – Robert Braul
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. – Mark Twain
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. – Seneca
The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. – William Wordsworth
Forget injuries; never forget kindness. – Confucious
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. – Mother Teresa
I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. – William Penn
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu
Be generous with kindly words, especially about those who are absent. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes. – Joseph B. Wirthlin
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. – William Arthur Ward
And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things. – Martin Scorsese
It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder’. – Aldous Huxley
Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world. – Annie Lennox
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your world, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011. (more…)
PAUSE -10.37- The Gift Of Trust
December 14, 2010
HAPPY NEWS:
Last week in Montreal, at the Annual Convention of CAPS (the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers), I was honored with an induction into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame. For more details, video and pics see the blog posting at: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/?p=1845
REFLECTION:
In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
Tip number one advises giving the gift of trust. What an interesting idea!
The point is that a lack of control over one’s own work is a serious workplace stressor. Leaders who micro-manage tasks or decree exactly how everything must be tackled build neither trust nor capacity. In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than having someone lurking over your shoulder second guessing everything you’re doing, interceding to make sure it’s done the ‘right’ way (read ‘their’ way).
When we give others the freedom to make decisions about how to approach the tasks in front of them we honor their capabilities and avoid unnecessary pressures. Trusting is not only a stress reliever, but a relationship and capacity builder.
Developing trust is a bit of a catch 22 situation. Do you grant it only after it is earned? Or do you assume it until proven otherwise? Maybe it’s possible to hold both possibilities in hand at once.
Stephen M.R. Covey sheds light on this issue in his book, The Speed of Trust. He notes that building trusting relationships with others hinges on two elements: character (positive intentions and a reputation for integrity) and competence (strong capabilities and a record of results).
ACTION:
What does this mean for the way we ease the load for others? For starters, we can stop meddling in situations where others have already proven their character and competence.
People grow and develop over time. The way we oversee and interact needs to adapt as trust is built. Backing off and letting go might just be the very best gift of all!
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him.” – Booker T. Washington
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Here’s a link to an article on ‘Smart Trust” by Stephen Covey based on the ideas in his book: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Speed_of_Trust.html
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to the last message, ‘What Really Counts?’, Pause reader KE writes: I just finished teaching my course on the power of coaching and the science of positive psychology. We talked about different measures of success. Did you know that Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness? It’s a 30 year old policy and is soundly based on Buddhist philosophy. The British government recently announced that their office of national statistics will start measuring people’s psychological and environmental well-being, making it one of the first western countries to officially monitor happiness.
REFLECTION: In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
Tip number one advises giving the gift of trust. What an interesting idea!
The point is that a lack of control over one’s own work is a serious workplace stressor. Leaders who micro-manage tasks or decree exactly how everything must be tackled build neither trust nor capacity. In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than having someone lurking over your shoulder second guessing everything you’re doing, interceding to make sure it’s done the ‘right’ way (read ‘their’ way).
When we give others the freedom to make decisions about how to approach the tasks in front of them we honor their capabilities and avoid unnecessary pressures. Trusting is not only a stress reliever, but a relationship and capacity builder.
Developing trust is a bit of a catch 22 situation. (more…)
PAUSE -10.36- What Really Counts?
November 30, 2010
REFLECTION:
My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are?
Today I experienced a glorious nibble of success. I finished three pieces of jewelry. I scraped one piece-of-crap-ruined-jewelry into my metal recycling bin on my workbench. I went for a walk in the weather. I loved my husband. I connected with a few wonderful folks out there in the interwebs. I gave my cat a belly rub. I made a delicious pizza for supper and now I’m going to go eat it, with a glass of Malbec. I’m all about the quality in this life – to hell with the numbers (please do pardon my French).
This kind of day to day success is so delightful. It really is. What else could matter? Just live each day well, I say. Just do your best. The rest is not your business.”
ACTION:
There is a time, a place and a purpose for measuring, counting, monitoring. We just need to be clear that we are scoring and tracking the things that truly matter – in our work and in our lives at large.
What will you choose to keep an eye on today? Manage your attention with intention.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Be selective about your external influences.” – Brian Tracy
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
If Jillian’s voice caught your attention, you might enjoy more of her take on life and work at: http://thenoisyplume.blogspot.com/
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
Two Pause readers comment on last week’s message on TAT (Turn Around Time).
EF writes: Thanks for sharing ideas to help folks stop, look and listen to what is going on in the fast track of life when we forget to build in turn around time.
KL writes: We just returned from a trip to Ontario which included a little work, visits with relatives, a wedding and a visit with friends. It was great, but as we were coming home my husband commented that we should have built in some down time. It wasn’t rushed or even too packed – just too many.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are? (more…)
REFLECTION: Sometimes a turn of phrase is all that’s required to accomplish a shift in experience. See if this change in phrasing makes a difference for you.
REFLECTION & ACTION: Will you? Would you? Can you? Could you? On those short questions hang the hooks of overcommitment. Will you take on this project? Would you look after the kids for the weekend? Could you chair this committee?
REFLECTION: Remember recess? Racing to the ball diamond for a game of scratch, hoping you were quick enough to nab your spot in line so you’d actually get a turn at bat before the bell rang? Dashing to the swings to pump yourself up with no teacher telling you to sit still and quit fidgeting? Screaming at the top of your lungs, “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Jimmy come over!” Or maybe just spending a quiet moment chatting with a buddy, trading secrets?
REFLECTION: It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
REFLECTION: Over the years, I’ve grown to enjoy the ‘one a day’ practice. I’m not talking about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, or a one-a-day vitamin to keep the body ticking along. I’m referring to what are often called Day Books. They’re collections of short essays or readings – one for each day of the year. These reflections shine a light on ideas or offer new ways of thinking about or looking at things. The best of them spark new perspectives to carry through your day.
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
REFLECTION: In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.