Pause E-zines

Reflection & Action:  How much is enough? How much is too much? Negotiating reasonable loads is challenging. In fact, concerns about ‘unreasonable work expectations’ continue to top the list of complaints in my surveys on ‘frustrations with time’.

It’s not always someone else who creates overload situations. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies! However, those expectations imposed by others are also tough to handle. You may find yourself reluctant to say no and negotiate limits – especially when it involves those in authority.

It could well be legitimate that you have been asked or told to tackle a giant load of tasks. They may all be within your job description, assuming that you have one. However, not every team leader is skilled at determining workloads, and the expectation that anyone can accomplish anything and everything all at once is unreasonable. (more…)

Reflection & Action: I caught a ride on a beautiful fall day with a cab driver who could easily have taken the grand prize for the world’s darkest outlook on life. In response to my comments on the freshness of the morning, the beauty of the autumn leaves, and the glassy calm of Wascana Lake, he responded in turn, “Frost last night – gonna make the harvest tough! Just reminds me winter’s coming! It’s never like that when I go fishing!”

I’m sure if he won a hundred thousand dollars in the lottery, he wouldn’t waste a minute celebrating. He would launch right into a litany of complaints about the uselessness of a prize that small!

Our mindset has a lot to do with our experience of the day. It is possible to shift from pure pessimism to a more optimistic response to life. It’s a matter of attention. What do you notice? What do you hang on to? How do you start your conversations with yourself and others?

As day’s end nears, and you shut down your computer, pull on your coat, or jump in the car to head home, ask yourself this simple question: “What went well today?”

Ask the same question of colleagues as you close up shop, and of family members as you gather for the evening. Yes, you’ll eventually get to the complaints, but at least the good news of the day will hold center stage and pride of place. That’s all it takes to start the shift of focus.

Quote Of The Week: “The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” – Eric Hoffer

Pause Readers Write: Pause Reader, Myrna B writes: About 6 months ago our family was struggling to accept a very serious health challenge for one of my siblings. At the same time a marriage was falling apart for another sibling. My parents were so focused on the problems that they seemed to be spiraling down a vortex of negativity. Some of us were feeling they had lost site of what was wonderful in the world.

My 74 year old Dad had just purchased a computer. In a conversation with Dad, I asked him to take a step back and think about what he was grateful for and what was wonderful in the world and then to email it to me.

You know, he emailed me the next morning. He emailed the morning after that …and the next…and the next. My Dad emails me every day to share what is great and wonderful in their world. I now have a journal with this collection that I can share with everyone. It contains many memories and important events that my family may have forgotten; and it’s all about all of us as a family. I treasure this because it’s given so freely, honestly and sincerely. My parents believe this commitment to share the positive has changed their lives.

In the mid 19th century, greedy British ship-owners overloaded their cargo holds and gleefully pocketed the insurance profits when the ships foundered and sank. Many sailors lost their lives on these ‘coffin ships’.

Samuel Plimsoll waged a battle against this practice. As a result, the Merchant Shipping Act of 1876 decreed that all cargo vessels must display the Plimsoll Line – an indicator of the limit to which they can be safely and legally loaded. Why? Because ships float at different levels depending on the warmth and consistency of the water. A ship loaded to capacity in a North Atlantic salt water port, would be in danger of riding too low and possibly sinking at a fresh water port in the tropics.

What’s this got to do with you and me? Well, modern day individuals and organizations have their limits, too. How cool would it be if each carried a Plimsoll line? You’d know when you were reaching your stability limit, and you’d also be able to see the current state of those around you.

Of course, we don’t come equipped with Plimsoll Lines. But this modern day set of indicators might offer a few clues to individual load and capacity: (more…)

Reflection & Action: Old files. Outdated products. Obsolete references. Unfashionable clothes. Petty grievances. Waning interests. Hopeless relationships.

Sometimes we just need to lighten up and clear the clutter from our lives so that we can see the way forward.

Pursuits we once enjoyed may, at some point, turn into clutter. Picture the hobbies that once consumed your interest and fueled your enthusiasm – photography, gardening, biking. You’ve amassed all the tools, equipment and supplies; and there they sit, inducing guilt – lonely, abandoned, taking up space. Where once you couldn’t get enough of the fun, now it feels like just one more thing that you should be doing.

Free stuff – samples, magazines, hand me downs – pile up, too. Just because something is free doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of the offer or hang on to it forever.

If you’ve outgrown it, move on. Sell the supplies or give the tools to someone who values them, but get them out of your way.

As sad as it may be, sometimes we need to unclutter our web of relationships as well. Some relationships are more infuriating than enhancing. Needs change. Shared interests disappear. Circumstances shift. Distance grows. Appreciate those connections for the ways they enriched your life in the past, and move on.

In the vacuum, new interests, new directions, new relationships will appear. Opportunities will arise. Your enthusiasm will grow. (more…)

Editor’s Note:

During the months of July and August, your weekly Pause blog postings will feature the ‘Best of Pause’. These are readers’ favorite messages from the earlier years of the Pause e-zine. Featuring these Pause Gems will give me a bit of a breather, and also introduce our newer subscribers to some of those early gems.

Whether you are a long time subscriber, or new to our list, I sincerely hope you enjoy these messages. Come September, your messages will once again feature all new info and resources.

Reflection & Action:  Take a close look at your to do list and a serious glance at the piles in the corner. How much of a backlog do you see?

If you are anything like the rest of us, you are anywhere from four to six weeks behind in your work. According to research reported by David Beardley, the average business person faces a backlog of 200 to 300 hours of uncompleted work.  That doesn’t even begin to consider what’s waiting for us at home or in the community.

How’s that for redefining normal? It’s little wonder you might feel overwhelmed and overloaded on any given day.

Stop giving yourself grief because you’re not all caught up. It isn’t going to happen! In fact, getting to the end of your list or reaching the bottom of your pile is more likely to be an abnormal, extraordinary, other-worldly experience. Look in the mirror and remind yourself, “You will never be done again!”

Then check today’s to do list and actions against the backlog to be sure you really are acting on what matters most. Credit yourself for the valued tasks you do tackle and complete.

Learn to see a sizeable backlog as just another normal fact of life. Don’t look at it as an Everest summit that must be conquered every day … or else! (more…)

Reflection: Does your upcoming summer vacation carry a ‘same as last year’ flavor? This might be a time to change it up a bit. Start by asking yourself this question: “What do I need most?” See what shows up in your answer.

Might you need:

• Serious solo down time with next to no demands?
• The emotional lift of reconnecting with favored friends or family?
• Spiritual renewal through a serious dose of time outdoors?
• The excitement and adventure of seeing new places and meeting new faces?
• The mental challenge of learning something new?
• Catch-up time taking care of fix-its and tasks around home?
• Couple time with a hint of romance?
• Time to dejunk and and reorganize those out-of-control spaces in your life?

Could be one or some of these or something else entirely. Of course, if you’re not on your own, family vacations usually end up being a compromise of sorts. You may have a mix of extroverts and introverts – some longing for big time socials and others for ‘me’ time. You might be a ‘major road trip’ fan partnered with a ‘hang out in one place’ person. Family traditions might dictate a visit ‘home’ at the center of every vacation – no exceptions.

So, how to get around differing – and changing – needs or preferences? (more…)

Reflection:  How present are you to the everyday gifts of your everyday world? That’s what I asked myself after last week’s activities. And, on reflection, I noticed that every experience brought with it something to savor.

Tuesday’s commitment – facilitating a team retreat – took me on a trek to north-east Saskatchewan – a 3 hour drive each way. I realized as I traveled, what a treat it is to cruise through the spring greening of the crops in the country. The sun in the sky, an interview with Joni Mitchell on the radio, fresh coffee at hand…it was beyond pleasant. The gift of a road trip!

The planning committee for Wednesday’s engagement (an Art of Insight presentation for the Leadership Saskatoon Alumni) went all out to make their guests feel at home. Personal greetings at the door, rose bowls replete with flowers and paint brushes on the tables, tasty nibbles, and a very inclusive welcoming atmosphere! The gift of hospitality!

On Thursday, I joined a group of close friends and colleagues for conversation and dinner. We’ve been meeting a few times a year for a decade to support each other in our lives and businesses. We problem solve, strategize, laugh, cry, and generally lift each other’s spirits. They are GEMS, every one of them. The gift of being known and appreciated warts and all!

Friday, I facilitated another team retreat. The session design was highly interactive. I learned again that when people connect deeply to each other and commit to the focus at hand, more energy is created than consumed. The gift of engagement!

Action:  Here’s this week’s challenge. (more…)

Reflection: So here I am on a bright midsummer morning weeding in the front yard. Down the sidewalk comes a three old youngster on his tricycle with his mom trailing behind.

As they reach our front yard, Junior spots a shiny penny on the sidewalk. He hops off his trike, picks up the penny, and spends the next few minutes in a solitary game of Fetch – tossing the penny, retrieving it, and throwing it again. Eventually, it lands in the lawn. Lost!

No tears – just resignation – as magically, in place of the penny, a ladybug appears. He scoops the ladybug up in his hand and watches it crawl up his finger. With mom’s help, he masters the art of transferring the bug from one hand to another, until it spreads its wings and flies away.

No worries – there’s more to discover. The crows in the birch tree launch a caw fest. The little guy looks up to check things out, and his hat tumbles off his head onto the sidewalk.

Bending over to pick up his hat, he finds an earthworm. Dropping to his hands and knees, nose near the action, he patiently follows the worm’s wriggling progress from one edge of the walk to the other.

At this point, an airplane approaches. Junior jumps up, points it out to his mom and stands with his arm in the air tracing the aircraft’s path until it disappears from sight.

By this time, he has worked up quite a thirst. The little guy begs a sip from the juice box Mom holds at the ready, hops back on his tricycle, and off they go.

Over the course of 15 minutes, they moved a grand total of 15 feet. Not exactly a power stroll or roll! But, an extraordinary example of living and learning – approaching everyday experiences with a sense of curiosity and a spirit of discovery- with what we might call Beginner’s Mind.

Action: We were all beginners … once upon a time. (more…)

Reflection: I’d had a busy couple of weeks with projects, commitments and deadlines on every front. When the calendar cleared last Wednesday, I decided to pause and step away for a mental wealth day. That’s the kind of day when you focus on making a few sizeable deposits in the sanity bank account.

I spent ten minutes in the office, cleared a few urgent messages, put an away message on my phone, and settled in to enjoy the open space.

As the day unfolded, I puttered in the garden, visited on the street with several of the neighbors, lunched in the sun on the back deck, napped in the hammock, chatted by phone with several family members, and simply enjoyed the fish in the pond, the birds in the trees, and the tulips in the flowerbeds.

A greeting card from my sister arrived in the mail that morning and set the tone for the day.  The front cover featured a figure reclining in a hammock under the palm trees with these words: “Nowhere to go and all day to get there….” That became my mantra for the day!

I love that sentiment, it’s such a contrast to what we are more likely to experience in our everyday lives: “Everywhere to go and no time to get there!”

Action: Life doesn’t always lend itself to a mental wealth day. But, it may be possible to create a mental wealth moment or hour. And as you step into that openness of time, try breathing in the possibility that just for now, you have: ‘Nowhere to go and all day to get there!” (more…)

Reflection: Suppose you’re chatting with a friend and she tells you that, in addition to working full time as usual, these are the projects she has planned for the summer:  repaint the house, dig up a new vegetable garden, xeriscape the front yard, host a friend’s outdoor wedding, build a new deck on the cabin at the lake, take her parents on a weeklong roadtrip, manage her son’s softball team, and chaperone her daughter’s soccer team on a trip to Minneapolis.

Any thoughts? Any advice?

Suppose the list shifted from personal projects to an equally lengthy list of workplace assignments with the regular family and community responsibilities ‘on the side’.

Any thoughts? Any advice?

I can’t help but think of the old parenting adage: “Be careful how you load up your plate. Your eyes could be bigger than your stomach.” The same caution applies to our ambitions beyond the dinner table. Far too often, our aspirations outweigh our capacity. It’s little wonder that overload is so often the order of the day.

Action: What, then, is the preventive medicine to keep us from landing in a state of overload quite so often – especially with projects that are within our control or under our influence? (more…)