Life Balance

Reflection: What does the phrase, Truth and Reconciliation, mean to you? I’ve always associated the process with large-scale social issues. However, I’m beginning to see how it could apply to our attempts to create more balance in our everyday lives.

The concept first came to my attention (and maybe yours, too) during the mid ‘90s in news from South Africa. Over the course of several years, public and private hearings gave citizens a forum to air the truth and trauma of their experiences under the apartheid regime.

Here in Canada, a similar process is underway at this very moment, as First Nations people share the impact of their experiences with the residential school system.

In both cases, the intention is similar: to heal deep wounds and build a more inclusive, equitable, respectful future.

In our daily lives and workplaces, T&R might apply in situations like these. (more…)

Reflection: Moment by moment, and day by day, decisions define our future.

Say yes to too many tasks with unrealistic deadlines, and time for renewal flies out the window. Sacrifice renewal and there goes access to a clear mind and creative thought.

Say yes to fast food or high cal snacks, and sound nutrition morphs into a hazy mirage on the horizon of good intentions. Sacrifice sound nutrition and there goes the capacity to maintain a healthy weight and robust energy.

Say nasty things in the heat of the moment, and key relationships start resembling beat up appliances in a scratch and dent sale. Damage too many relationships and there goes the support and the satisfaction that accompany quality connections.

Sure, we can and do make SOME of those less desirable choices without disastrous results. None of us are immune.

We just need to be aware of the multiplier effect over time. It’s a matter of balancing near term expedience with long-term consequence.

Action: Consider the long view as often as possible. Take any action and multiply it by ten, a hundred, or a thousand.

Then ask yourself this question: “Will more choices like that move you nearer to or further from your vision of the best life possible?”

Choose with care and an eye to the future.

(more…)

Reflection:  Chances are good that the last time you meandered through the tall grass or took a stroll in the woods, your pants and socks picked up more than a few sticky burrs. They’re those pesky seeds that eagerly stick their claws into you, and hitchhike a ride from there to who knows where. The very same critters that inspired Velcro.

Attacked by burrs is how I feel these days as I move through my office, our home and the garden. Each time I turn around, it seems another undone task insinuates its way into my consciousness, stakes a claim on my brain, and plants a hook in my mind. Answer this email, finish that article, call that client. Fold that laundry, fix that appliance, clean that corner. Fertilize those plants, prune those shrubs, pick that rhubarb.

Most time management references advise keeping a series of lists on which you place all of the items clamoring for your time and energy. Then you focus your attention and narrow down the list by choosing your priorities for the week and the day. Neat and tidy, eh? Still doesn’t account for the attack of the burrs!

It’s true, writing things down does minimize the mental reminders (‘Remember this, don’t forget that!”) that trampoline their way through your brain. And prioritizing does focus attention. However, I still notice the undone as I move through the day, and am oh so easily hooked on my way by.

Action: So, here’s my new practice: catch and release! I figure if it works for anglers, it could work for someone angling for a new take on a sticky situation. (more…)

Reflection: We’re back from my 60^th Birthday Voyage. Our adventures took us from an overwater bungalow in Tahiti, to a South Seas cruise through French Polynesia, across the high seas to stops on four Hawaiian islands, then across the rest of the Pacific to spend a few days in San Francisco and the Napa Valley. It ended with a birthday party back here in our garden in Saskatoon.

It was a relaxing journey (ten days completely at sea will do that) with a few adventurous forays including: kayaking up the Faaroa River in Raiatea, snorkeling with the sharks and stingrays in Moorea, and diving to the sea floor in an Atlantis submarine off Kona.

I enjoyed the time away, AND I’m happy to be in your company once again. I hope that the month of May has treated you all very well.

The arrow of appreciation flies both ways. It’s a lesson in gratitude that revealed itself twice during our recent travels.

#1: During our stop on Oahu, a local hula dance troop, consisting mostly of youngsters (perhaps 6-10 years of age) danced and entertained on board ship. If you’ve ever been at a grade school concert, you know how charming those young’uns can be. This group was all that and more.

Of course, they got a standing ovation from the crowd at the end of their program. But they didn’t let things end there. As their troop leader commented on how much they appreciated the opportunity to perform for us, these young dancers moved through the lounge shaking hands with members of the audience, offering their personal thanks for being given the opportunity to share what they love to do. (more…)

Reflection: There may be many things worse than ‘not knowing’ or ‘living with uncertainty’, but as one of life’s stressors, it’s got to be high on the list.

I recently received a query from a Pause reader who is part of an organization in the midst of downsizing. Although she, herself, knows that she will continue to have her job, many co-workers find themselves in different circumstances.

For those who have learned that they will leave, there is some sense of relief in being in the know – and being able to start making plans.

Others do not yet know their fate, and may not know for some time. A few have learned they will need to compete for their own positions. For these individuals, the situation is precarious. She wonders how to support her colleagues who find themselves in limbo.

There’s no one size fits all answer to that question. Different people respond to uncertainty in different ways. Some are devastated and immobilized by it, while others take it in their stride. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

It can be tough to be a bystander in the lives of others who are hurting, and not sure how to help.

Action: Should you find yourself in this kind of situation, here are a handful of helpful practices to undertake yourself and encourage in others. (more…)

Reflection: It took a while to resolve the puzzle of the resounding Thunk. Turns out there’s a robin trying to fly through our living room window.

From his perch on the bare-branched mountain ash tree, Buddy spends about an hour a day launching himself again and again at the very same window – with exactly the same result. Thunk! Drop! Back to the tree!

He’s done this for more than a week now. In fact, even as I write this message, the Thunk, Thunk, Thunk continues.

Now, I’m not a bird whisperer, so I can only imagine what he’s thinking – or even if he’s thinking. Bird brains are notorious for their small size. Is Buddy trying to fly through the glass to land in the branches of the hibiscus tree in the living room? Is he seeing his reflection, not realizing it’s his mirror image, and protecting his territory from what he perceives to be a challenger to his robin-hood? Is he just looking for a decent place to take a bath? I have no idea.

I do know that we’ve tried to discourage his behavior. (more…)

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. (more…)

Reflection: As long time subscribers would have noticed, last week the Pause e-zine launched a fresh new look for spring. The feedback on the new format has been overwhelmingly positive; and I thank all of you who took the time to share your reactions.

The revamp has been a long time coming. It’s been a few years since I last surveyed readers. At that time, many of you urged me to take a flying leap (figuratively, of course) into the future. You recommended jazzing up the look of the e-zine saying,“Give us some color and a bit of a design to go with the excellent content.”

I got the message. And, I dawdled. Maybe this happens with projects in your life, too. You see a need. You set an intention and a direction. Then you dance around it for a very long time.

In the case of the e-zine, I collected examples and tinkered with designs. I flirted with the idea of asking for design help. I knew shifting to a more visual presentation was going to mean moving to a different list management service, which could mean changing providers. Complications! What seemed to be a small project loomed large. I danced elsewhere.

With the writing of each weekly message, that intention lurked over my shoulder, and I continued to note my lack of progress.

When I finally worked my way through the inertia to get the design and new service arranged – and launched it last week, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and accomplishment. More than that, as a writer, I harvested that burst of energy that comes with what amounts to a fresh pen and a brand new sheet of paper. It was a wonderful reminder of how crossing a finish line can be a powerful energizer. (more…)

Reflection: It’s in a backward glance that the patterns often show up. As I think about many things that have unfolded in my life, I can usually pinpoint one action, one decision, or one choice that launched me in that direction.

Saying yes to a summer job my first year of University introduced me to a line of work that ended up changing my college major in the near term, and my career direction over the long haul.

Agreeing to a coffee with a classmate at University led me to meet and later marry the love of my life.

Writing a letter to the editor of our daily newspaper led to an invitation to write a column, which in turn launched a weekly writing habit that led to publishing my first of five books.

Asking a friend what she knew about Masters’ programs led me to discover a brand new distance learning opportunity that was perfect for my work and life situation at the time.

First steps can point us in many directions. Some lead to an uphill climb and others to a downhill slide. Much of life’s progress or regress boils down to our moment by moment choices. (more…)

REFLECTION: I am all too aware of the irony of what I am about to say. That’s especially so, since I’ve made a career of offering advice and counsel on all kinds of issues – from time and organization, through stress and balance, to encouragement and appreciation. And, since I regularly hear from readers and clients how highly those ideas are valued, I have every intention of continuing.

Still, here’s the thing. There are days when I find I’ve had it with advice! It’s not so much the offering of advice – although there are times when I do grow tired of listening to myself talk or write. It’s more the seeming streaming nonstop nature of external advice that swirls and flows around me. Some days I experience that more as bombardment and less as encouragement.

It’s an interesting state of affairs for someone who likes words and loves ideas. But, I find there are days when I literally want to shout, “Enough Already!”

Facebook posts run rampant with recycled wisdom in the form of ‘words to live by’ and in the jazzed up form of quotes turned mini-posters. On quote-heavy days, a quick scan of the FB News Feed leaves me with ‘motivational whiplash’.

Newstands and magazines overflow with how-to, where-to, and why-to cautions and admonishments.

Our local paper even features a quote of the day as part of the header on the Obituary page. That seems just a bit too late in the game to qualify as a word to the wise. (more…)