Reflection: I’ve been thinking recently that I wouldn’t mind being listless for a while. I don’t mean in the traditional sense of the word: lethargic, apathetic, or weary. Nor do I mean without a list of things to do – although that would be welcome on occasion.
What I’m actually referring to is the proliferation of lists that circulate on social media and grace the covers of books and magazines everywhere. Here are a few recent examples:
14 Things You Should Do On Your Lunch Break Every Day
17 Things Extremely Happy People Say Every Day
18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently
22 Quick Habits to Add To Your Daily Morning Routine
30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself – or its sister list: 30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself
Add ‘em up. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
I know these lists are published with the best of intentions – mostly to energize or inspire. And I grant you there is valuable advice in many of them. Heck, I’ve even created a few of these types of lists myself.
But here’s my challenge. When I spend too much time paying attention to these lists, I find myself in Tower of Pisa mode – tilted and off balance. I feel less effective and more inadequate because I’m not doing more or behaving differently.
You, too, might find yourself listing just a tad under the weight of what the advice aggregators believe we could or should be doing.
Action: With all these voices whispering instructions in your ear and putting ideas in your head, it’s hard to hear the one still quite voice that counts the most. That would be your own. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.23 – Are You Breaking The Flow?
June 11, 2014
Reflection: What joy it can be to find yourself ‘in the flow’. You’re supremely focused on the task at hand – caught up in concentration and creativity.
Yet, like most of life’s experiences, flow has its shadow side, too.
It’s possible to become so intent on the task at hand that we lose perspective or ignore our body’s calls for attention.
In a painting class I took from acclaimed watercolor artist, Charles Reid, we often worked with a live model. Charles insisted that the model break from the pose every 30 minutes.
Occasionally the model would protest saying he was just fine with sitting longer. Charles always responded, “Well, we’re not.”
Then he’d rise from the stool in front of his easel, stroll around, and step outside for a few minutes to either get some fresh air or smoke his pipe. We all followed his lead – well except for lighting up a pipe!
Newfoundland artist, Keli-Ann Pye-Beshara, takes a similar approach. I’ve watched her live-stream painting demonstrations and seen her set a timer for 30 minutes.
When it rings, she puts down the brush, stands up, and steps away from the work to stretch her neck, her hands and her back. She invites viewers to do the same.
Action: There is a physical release and renewal that comes with these breaks in the flow. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.22 – What’s Truly Essential In Your World?
June 4, 2014
Reflection: For some time, I’ve been following Greg McKoewn’s blog posts on the concept of Essentialism. So I was delighted when he released his book, ‘Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less’.
It’s a provocative read. Amongst the ideas I found of greatest interest are these:
Shifting to an essentialist viewpoint means we need to discard these three assumptions: I have to. It’s all important. I can do both. Instead we need to adopt these three assumptions: I choose to. Only a few things really matter. I can do anything but not everything.
The word ‘priority’ used to mean just one thing. In the last century we pluralized it to ‘priorities’. This caused us to believe we could actually hold a number of things at the top of our list and in our attention at the very same time.
We’re fooling ourselves if we think we don’t have to make a solid choice between competing activities. Choosing ‘both’ is a recipe for spreading ourselves too thin. We need to make trade-offs. The shift in mindset is thinking not so much about what we must give up, but rather, what do we choose to go big on.
Don’t be afraid to pull the plug on a project or commitment you’re already involved in. Think about it from a square one point of view. If you weren’t already involved, what would you give up or how hard would you work to get involved. Just because you are part of an active initiative doesn’t mean it’s still the right thing for you to be doing. Edit away.
You’ve got to know, as a pause fanatic, that I would appreciate this one. Protect the asset– that means you! Create space for renewal and reflection – time for unencumbered thought, innovation and growth. Escape and explore life.
Action: So, how do we actually put these ideas into action? (more…)
PAUSE – 14.21 – What Do You Want To Do As You Grow Old?
May 28, 2014
Spring On The Trail
Reflection: We’re pretty quick to ask young people about their futures: “What do you want to be when you grow up? What will you do after graduation?”
However, once we step through that portal of adulthood and into a career, a family, and responsibilities of all shapes and sizes, those ‘imagine your future’ questions are often sidelined.
You make a choice. You set out on a path. You’re headed in the right direction. All is well. Or is it?
I recently delivered the closing keynote for a conference of career planners and employment counselors. My message focused on connecting them to the hidden value in what they do and how they are.
The conference planners asked me to also build in a message for those in their mid to late career years who might be faced with: waning interest, lagging energy, or a once raging fire in the belly now faded to glowing embers. And, so I did. Here are a few of the ideas I shared that I thought might also interest you. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.20 – Stop Trying So Hard
May 21, 2014
Reflection: Stop pushing. Stop forcing. Stop trying so hard. That’s the message I’m getting from a couple of activities I’m enjoying immensely these days: word play and painting.
I confess to a new addiction to solving the Jumble Puzzle in our daily newspaper. The challenge involves turning five sets of random letters into five words, extracting the circled letters from the solutions, and turning that subset of letters into the answer to a question posed in the accompanying comic vignette.
What I’ve learned from solving the Jumble is the value of soft focus. When I stare at those letters, trying to force them into the proper order, I’m frustrated. However, when I glance at the letters and let my gaze drift away, my brain plays with the possibilities and out pops the answers.
Same thing happens with my painting. When I stare intently at a scene trying to make sense of shapes and values, it’s a struggle. However, when I approach the challenge with a softer, more relaxed focus and less intensity, my mind makes sense of it much more quickly and surely.
Action: When you next meet a problem that tries your patience, try softening your focus. Start with an overview of what you know and what you see. Then step away. Back off.
Stop pushing for an answer. Cool your jets. Let your subconscious take over.
When you stop forcing an answer, and take a softer, calmer, more ease filled approach, you just might be surprised at how effortlessly solutions rise to the surface,
Quotes Of The Week: Flowers do not force their way with great strife. Flowers open to perfection slowly in the sun. – White Eagle
Trust in the inexhaustible character of the murmur. – Andre Breton
The quieter you become, the more you can hear. – Ram Dass
Resources Of The Week: Here are a couple of interesting reads for you.
Bethany Butzer shares a few idedas about effort and ease in her article, Stop Trying So Hard.
In the article, Ten Signs You Need To Stop Trying So Hard, Minda Zetlin writes about the pressure of pushing and forcing results in an article based on Todd Patkin’s book, Finding Happiness.
PAUSE – 14.19 – Five Ways to Perk Up Your Life
May 14, 2014
Reflection: Back in January, a local TV station asked me to share a few ideas to help people cope with Blue Monday. That’s the Monday of the last full week in January – what is referred to by many as the most depressing day of the year.
While the Blue Monday pedigree is questionable, everyone has blue days and they don’t limit themselves to the month of January!
There’s no need to hold in reserve the strategies you can use to perk up your life when you’re feeling low.
Action: Here are five actions to perk up your life any time you need a boost: (more…)
PAUSE – 14.18 – What Do You Think Matters Most?
May 7, 2014
Reflection: Places to be. Things to fix. Stuff to do. The lists grow long and the burdens grow heavy.
That’s why, every so often, it helps to pause and step back from the fray – to tap into a fresh perspective on the countless should’s and pressing have-to’s of our lives.
In my presentations on balance and renewal, I often challenge participants with an exercise that invites them to generate their own life wisdom and insights. I invite you to take ten minutes and give it a try yourself. Here’s how the exercise goes.
Action: On a blank sheet of paper, write the date and year of your 80th birthday. (Hopefully you won’t need a calculator to figure it out!)
Next, bring to mind a ten-year-old boy or girl sitting at your knee looking up at you with admiration. Give that child a name – real or fictional. Imagine the youngster saying, “You’ve lived a VERY long time. What can you tell me about what really matters in life?”
Your task is to put pen to paper starting with the words:
Dear (insert his/her name), You’ve asked me to tell you what really matters in life. Here’s what I’ve learned so far…
Give yourself ten minutes to jot down every idea that pops into your mind. (more…)
PAUSE – 14.15 – Are You Dazed? Try A Doze!
April 16, 2014
Reflection: When a busy toddler grows weary, he or she simply lies down and falls sleep. Doesn’t matter where. Doesn’t matter when.
When an elderly person grows weary, he or she simply nods off in the middle of a visit or the middle of a sentence. Doesn’t matter where. Doesn’t matter when.
As for the rest of us somewhere between toddlering and doddering, when we grow weary, we shake the cobwebs from our heads, grab another cuppa java, and will ourselves to wakefulness.
We power on. We don’t power down. Pressing …pressing …and rarely pausing. Because, after all there are important places to go, people to see, and things to do.
Sadly, this ends up working against us instead of for us. While we may be nominally awake and at work – it is with diminishing capacity and diminishing returns! That’s why, in a wearied state, so many things feel tougher and take longer. We’re neither fresh nor focused.
Now I’m not suggesting nodding off in a middle of a business meeting would be a good thing. However, I am suggesting that ignoring the body when it calls for rest can be a bad thing.
A study at NASA on sleepy military pilots and astronauts found that a nap improved performance by 34% and alertness by 100%. Although you and I may not be flying jets or spacecraft, how much more effective might we be if our performance and alertness improved that much because we took a rest when we needed one?
PS – They make great gifts for Administrative Professional Day.
PAUSE – 14.14 – Are You Using The Three S’s of Appreciation?
April 9, 2014
Reflection: I so appreciate the fact that spring on the prairies is finally putting in an appearance. It seems that the month of April offers no shortage of opportunities to appreciate a variety of things and people.
This very week in Canada (April 6-12) is National Volunteer Appreciation week. A quick glance at an online calendar of special days reveals that’s not the only special day on this month’s agenda.
April also brings you National Siblings Day (10th), National Librarian Day (16th), Volunteer Recognition Day (20th), and Administrative Professional Day (23rd). You’ll find a host of whacky days on the calendar, too. Feel free to celebrate jelly beans, scrabble, and rubber erasers to name just a few!
In today’s everyday busyness, it’s easy to think that celebration and recognition are not that important – that appreciation is just icing on the cake. However, that’s just not true.
Many employee surveys show that a lack of recognition, appreciation and acknowledgement are a major workplace issue and a significant source of disengagement. It’s such a shame, because it’s such an easy challenge to address.
Action: What to do? Focus on small daily appreciative actions like these. (more…)
Reflection: I’ve been thinking recently that I wouldn’t mind being listless for a while. I don’t mean in the traditional sense of the word: lethargic, apathetic, or weary. Nor do I mean without a list of things to do – although that would be welcome on occasion.
