time out

Reflection: So, what do ya’ think? Or do you?

In our go-go, what’s next, action-oriented world, down time for tapping in to our inner world of thoughts and feelings can be hard to find. In some cases, compared to the get ‘er done action mentality, time to rest and reflect is seen as wasteful not valuable.

The brain science case for the value of pause is growing. In idle mode (when daydreaming and letting your mind wander), the brain is active in different ways. Instead of reacting to new stuff on the incoming track, it hums along connecting our mind’s storehouse of experiences, ideas, and emotions – making sense and making meaning.

If you want to consolidate what you’re learning, imagine possibilities, stay in tune with your emotional state, assess whether a course of action is a sound moral or ethical choice, give your brain a chance to do its thing.

Step away from external commotion and outside input. Drop inside and let your brain idle for a while.

Action: Here are five ways to give your brain a mental breather and turn your focus inward. (more…)

REFLECTION & ACTION: To try or not to try—that is the question! A fine line can be drawn between mastery and ceaseless striving, and an even finer line between giving up and letting go. The distinction rests in action and control. Consider these four scenarios.

When you find yourself in a situation in which you have some control and you take action, you are on the road to mastery. You’ve chosen a strong direction and a fine destination.

When you keep pushing in a situation in which you have no control, you beat your head against the proverbial brick wall. Your ceaseless striving yields bruises and headaches.

In a situation in which you have control and you do nothing, you’re throwing up your hands and giving up. This action is sometimes appropriate—one can only summon the energy for so many struggles at once. However, when used as a constant pattern, you run the risk of bouncing around at the whim of the world.

When you have no control over an outcome or decision and you stop trying to push, shove and conquer, you are letting go. It’s often a wise choice in a powerless situation.

To live, think, and work effectively, exercise your influence in the areas in which you have control. Once you’ve reviewed your options and done your due diligence, then make your decision and act. That’s mastery!

Let go of the rest. You won’t help yourself or others if you continue to fret and stew about situations that are far beyond your influence and control. (more…)

REFLECTION & ACTION: Have you ever promised those who are important in your life (including yourself) that you’ll have time for them soon? Soon is a nebulous time that never seems to roll around.

Setting targets can shift the balance. Try these approaches: Set one date a week with your partner, plan a special monthly event with each of your youngsters, hold Monday nights for a yoga class (no exceptions), or reserve Friday evenings as veg-out time.

Take the same approach in the professional arena. Don’t let promises to learn that new software program fall by the wayside. Book an appointment with yourself for the first half hour every Thursday and work your way through the tutorial 30 minutes at a time for the next six weeks.

Are you losing touch with colleagues or employees? Make lunch on Friday your plug-in point. Invite a different colleague to join you each week. Use the time to strengthen that relationship.

Choose what works for you. Create your own targets for connection, development, and renewal. Enter your target activities in your calendar and honor them as you would any high-priority commitment. (more…)

Reflection & Action: Imagine a page with text spilling off the edges. Imagine a schedule crammed solid with meetings from morning to night. Imagine your clothes fitted so tightly there’s no room to breathe. Imagine a car without bumpers. The result? No place to rest your eyes, no ease, no grace, no protection from the bumps and bruises of life.

So it is in a life without buffers. Dr. Richard Swenson⁶ suggests that in our preoccupation with speed and progress we end up sacrificing our margins. Margin is that difference between your load and your limits (i.e.- physical and emotional energy, finances, and time). Think of it as the reserve space, or leeway in your life.

Living a ‘just in time’ existence at the edge of your resources can be exciting, but it comes with a cost. It leaves no cushion for tough times, surprises, unexpected problems or opportunities. And, as any high speed adventurer knows, crash without padding, and you will come to know pain on a first name basis.

Do you know and honor your own limits. In handling resources of time, money, or energy, at what point do you shift from swimming with strength, confidence and direction to drown-proofing, and then to drowning?  Even tiny margins (a few extra minutes, a few extra dollars, or a few extra winks) can make a big difference in how fast and how often you hit bottom.

Build in margins in small, doable ways. Leave a few minutes early for your next appointment. Stop working on a project before you reach the point of complete exhaustion. Make your next purchase well within your means rather than pushing to the outside limit of your bank account. (more…)

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. (more…)

Last week’s meandering about the place of advice in our lives (Pause 12.10 – Ce M’Est A Vis) really struck a chord with Pause readers. Rather than try to excerpt just one comment for the Readers Write section of this week’s Pause message, I decided to provide this link that summarizes the reactions. You’ll also find a lively commentary of post-backs at the end of the Blog post for the same message.

Thanks to all who took the time to write and share their views. Special thanks to a couple of my Francophone readers who so kindly corrected my French noting that the title phrase should actually read: “C’est Mon Avis”. I’m always grateful for those who are able to fix my errors. And, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that the Old French source (circa 1300) would have evolved to something more current.

Enjoy the read!

JR writes: Ce m’est a vis was… brilliant!  Best quote and resource of the week ever!  Who is more expert in advising me about my life and career than the person who created them in the first place?  I find, when the ship’s taking on water, my internal muse goes mute, and I flail for a friend’s PFD rather than buoying myself up with my own truth.  Thanks for this very timely reminder. (more…)

REFLECTION: It’s bright and early Sunday morning, and four year old grandson is on the other end of the phone – brimming with enthusiasm and bubbling over with news.

“Guess what I’m having for breakfast? Toast with jam and TWO slices of cheese. Orange and white cheese – marble cheese. Marble, that’s funny! And, Mommy made me a Smoothie, too. It is SO good. And, you know what she bought yesterday at the grocery store? Cheese strings. THOSE are my favorite. And, I’m watching the Cat In The Hat video. And he’s bouncing on the bed. I like to do that, too. AND, I get to go swimming today! Budda (that’s what he calls me), I am having a VERY Lucky Day!”

That nonstop monologue turned MY groggy morning into a very Lucky Day. How can you NOT smile in the face of that kind of exuberance?

Enthusiasm is infectious. And if you have to come down with something, enthusiasm beats other viruses, hands down!

There’s no doubt, as adults, we have serious things to deal with. Yet, there are times when I know I complicate my life more than is necessary. Maybe you do, too.

What a wonderful insight from the realm of childhood – to be reminded that it is possible to light your fire with things as simple as a tasty morsel, a thoughtful gift, and an activity that is calling your name.

ACTION: What would it take for you to declare today a Lucky Day? (more…)

REFLECTION: Perhaps, someone made a thoughtless comment that harpooned your heart. Or, maybe you’re stuck on a business problem and frustrated that there seems to be no good way through. Or, you learn that your financial situation has taken a sharp turn for the worse.

It’s just these kinds of experiences that can amp up the stress in your life – even triggering a self-catered pity party of colossal proportions.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to find a simple way to respond to the angst and find a way to see clearly once more? Of course, practices like meditation, visualization, and the ever-reliable ‘take it for a walk’ approach can bring long term results.

However, what could you do in the heat of the moment to keep from getting burned? In his research on the management of stress, Don Joseph Goewey discovered that hanging on to fear and frustration make it difficult – if not impossible – to recognize more peaceful, positive strategies for handling the challenging situations of the moment. Goewey offers a Clear Button strategy that just might help. (more…)

REFLECTION: “I’ll just eat lunch at my desk, save a bit of time, save a little money, and catch up on my email.” Have you ever said that to yourself or heard that from someone else?

A 2011 survey by the American Dietetic Association found that 62% of workers eat lunch at their desks and 50% snack there through the day. In the world of ‘nose to grindstone’ this might seem to be a positive approach. But, really – not so much!

Foregoing a lunch break cheats us of a chance to rest our brains and return to our problems with fresh minds and new perspectives. Staying stuck behind the keyboard, prevents social interaction that could lift our spirits and lighten our load. Eating while working means we may be less aware of how much goes in our mouths, making it way too easy to overindulge. And, more sitting, is of course, more sitting! Recent studies emphasize the health risks of spending too much of our day chair bound and not enough of our day moving around.

Still, if you need any more evidence to build a case that would have you pushing away from your desk for lunch, this just might do it. The same survey noted above found that only 36 percent of respondents clean their work areas—desktop, keyboard, mouse—weekly and 64 percent do so only once a month or less. (more…)

Thought you might appreciate knowing about recent newspaper coverage of the pause message and the latest book, Press Pause…Press On.

Irene Seiberling of the Regina Leader Post, wrote a great article that appeared in the LP on Wed, January 18: Take Time To Pause, Re-Energize. Irene has been such a great encourager of my work over the years, and has covered every single one of my five books published. It’s wonderful to have such a long-term supporter who so generously uses her platform to share and shape the news.

If you know of others who really need to hear the Pause message, be sure to forward a link to this post to their attention, too.

Enjoy! Paus-atively Yours, Pat