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REFLECTION: I am all too aware of the irony of what I am about to say. That’s especially so, since I’ve made a career of offering advice and counsel on all kinds of issues – from time and organization, through stress and balance, to encouragement and appreciation. And, since I regularly hear from readers and clients how highly those ideas are valued, I have every intention of continuing.

Still, here’s the thing. There are days when I find I’ve had it with advice! It’s not so much the offering of advice – although there are times when I do grow tired of listening to myself talk or write. It’s more the seeming streaming nonstop nature of external advice that swirls and flows around me. Some days I experience that more as bombardment and less as encouragement.

It’s an interesting state of affairs for someone who likes words and loves ideas. But, I find there are days when I literally want to shout, “Enough Already!”

Facebook posts run rampant with recycled wisdom in the form of ‘words to live by’ and in the jazzed up form of quotes turned mini-posters. On quote-heavy days, a quick scan of the FB News Feed leaves me with ‘motivational whiplash’.

Newstands and magazines overflow with how-to, where-to, and why-to cautions and admonishments.

Our local paper even features a quote of the day as part of the header on the Obituary page. That seems just a bit too late in the game to qualify as a word to the wise. (more…)

REFLECTION: Ever notice how common is the tendency to share the glory when things go right, but how rare the tendency to shoulder responsibility when things go wrong? This inclination makes me think of the refrain in a very old ‘Horse and Carriage’ tune that says: ‘You can’t have one without the other.”

Maybe you’ve had a few experiences like these over the years:

* A ‘complaining’ friend or colleague regularly rains doom and gloom and pours bad news into every conversation.

* A relationship grows  tangled – caught up in hasty communication, missed cues, and unfulfilled promises.

* An employee or colleague struggles to meet expectations and deliver on commitments.

It’s oh so easy to point fingers in any direction other than our own. It’s much tougher to contemplate that we somehow might have contributed to the outcome – for better or for worse.

ACTION: Relationships and results usually live somewhere between us – as a shared responsibility. When we see them this way, we are far more likely to look at situations through a ‘reverse lens’ and ask ourselves questions like these: (more…)

REFLECTION: It’s bright and early Sunday morning, and four year old grandson is on the other end of the phone – brimming with enthusiasm and bubbling over with news.

“Guess what I’m having for breakfast? Toast with jam and TWO slices of cheese. Orange and white cheese – marble cheese. Marble, that’s funny! And, Mommy made me a Smoothie, too. It is SO good. And, you know what she bought yesterday at the grocery store? Cheese strings. THOSE are my favorite. And, I’m watching the Cat In The Hat video. And he’s bouncing on the bed. I like to do that, too. AND, I get to go swimming today! Budda (that’s what he calls me), I am having a VERY Lucky Day!”

That nonstop monologue turned MY groggy morning into a very Lucky Day. How can you NOT smile in the face of that kind of exuberance?

Enthusiasm is infectious. And if you have to come down with something, enthusiasm beats other viruses, hands down!

There’s no doubt, as adults, we have serious things to deal with. Yet, there are times when I know I complicate my life more than is necessary. Maybe you do, too.

What a wonderful insight from the realm of childhood – to be reminded that it is possible to light your fire with things as simple as a tasty morsel, a thoughtful gift, and an activity that is calling your name.

ACTION: What would it take for you to declare today a Lucky Day? (more…)

REFLECTION: Perhaps, someone made a thoughtless comment that harpooned your heart. Or, maybe you’re stuck on a business problem and frustrated that there seems to be no good way through. Or, you learn that your financial situation has taken a sharp turn for the worse.

It’s just these kinds of experiences that can amp up the stress in your life – even triggering a self-catered pity party of colossal proportions.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to find a simple way to respond to the angst and find a way to see clearly once more? Of course, practices like meditation, visualization, and the ever-reliable ‘take it for a walk’ approach can bring long term results.

However, what could you do in the heat of the moment to keep from getting burned? In his research on the management of stress, Don Joseph Goewey discovered that hanging on to fear and frustration make it difficult – if not impossible – to recognize more peaceful, positive strategies for handling the challenging situations of the moment. Goewey offers a Clear Button strategy that just might help. (more…)

REFLECTION: Few of us would borrow money unless we had to. So, it’s one of life’s great puzzles, that so many of us insist on borrowing trouble.

So far in Saskatchewan, it’s been an awesomely mild winter. Instead of enjoying the sunshine and mild temperatures, I hear people warning, “March and April are going to be a kicker – cold and miserable! Just wait and see. We’ll pay for this later!”

An item someone’s been longing to purchase goes on sale. Instead of joyously heading to the shop to pick it up, I hear that person predicting, ‘They’ll probably be all out of them by the time I get there!”

Employees respond to the announcement of a change in a process at work as if the devil himself had crafted a dastardly plan to max out the daily quota of torment and tedium.

Well … maybe March will blow like a blizzard from one end to the other. Maybe the longed for item will be out of stock. Maybe the new process will end up being as cumbersome as predicted. If so, we’ll deal with it!

Or … maybe March will be every bit as mild as the winter so far. Or, maybe the shop will have the item in stock, in the right color and size, with an additional 10% Wednesday only in-store discount. Or, maybe the change in workplace process will end up saving tons of time and energy – and turn out to be the best thing ever. If so, we’ll deal with that, too.

I know, I know…if you don’t get your hopes up you won’t be disappointed! Still, dragging a wet blanket and a storm cloud everywhere we go makes the journey tougher and darker than it needs to be. Must dodging a bullet of disappointment be the only route to happiness? (more…)

REFLECTION: “I’ll just eat lunch at my desk, save a bit of time, save a little money, and catch up on my email.” Have you ever said that to yourself or heard that from someone else?

A 2011 survey by the American Dietetic Association found that 62% of workers eat lunch at their desks and 50% snack there through the day. In the world of ‘nose to grindstone’ this might seem to be a positive approach. But, really – not so much!

Foregoing a lunch break cheats us of a chance to rest our brains and return to our problems with fresh minds and new perspectives. Staying stuck behind the keyboard, prevents social interaction that could lift our spirits and lighten our load. Eating while working means we may be less aware of how much goes in our mouths, making it way too easy to overindulge. And, more sitting, is of course, more sitting! Recent studies emphasize the health risks of spending too much of our day chair bound and not enough of our day moving around.

Still, if you need any more evidence to build a case that would have you pushing away from your desk for lunch, this just might do it. The same survey noted above found that only 36 percent of respondents clean their work areas—desktop, keyboard, mouse—weekly and 64 percent do so only once a month or less. (more…)

As February unfolds I will be giving away 29 copies of Press Pause…Think Again. One book a day. These books will go to people YOU want to inspire and encourage.

You probably know that February is heart month. It’s not only a time for people to tend to their physical heart health, it’s a time for us to tend to the emotional heart health of those we care about. I want to help you with that cause. Here’s how it works.

Think of someone in your circle of acquaintance who may be struggling or disheartened – someone who could use a little more balance, perspective or appreciation in their everyday life at work or at home. Email me that person’s name and postal address along with a thought or two about why they could use a lift and a gift. Put these words, 29 Gifts, in the Subject line. You can find my email address in the Contact Us area of the Pauseworks Website Home Page.

Each day I will draw the name of one lucky recipient from the entries received. When your nominee is chosen, I will mail your honoree a personalized complimentary copy of Press Pause…Think Again as a gift in your name – and let you know it’s on its way.

Send as many entries as you wish. All entries received will be included in the draw bucket right through to the end of the month.

I’m excited to be helping you help others to ‘Press Pause…Think Again’. A Happy Heartfelt February to you all.

REFLECTION: Noting any burnout in your workplace or yourself? I’ve been dipping into a bit of recent research on burnout that suggests this phenomenon is not just a one trick pony – that there are at least three different forms that burnout takes.

The shorthand descriptions look like this. The Frenetic push hard and wear down. The Underchallenged grow bored and go numb. The Worn Out become discouraged and give up. Here’s a profile for each.

Frenetic folks are challenged by high expectations and limited resources – ambitious by nature. Those who respond in this way keep pushing themselves and others harder – redoubling efforts, refusing to acknowledge failure or limitations, neglecting health and personal lives, growing more anxious and irritable as time goes by. Recognize anyone like this?

Finding the work to be less than challenging, and experiencing very little personal growth or professional development because of it, the Underchallenged end up simply going through the motions. They don’t feel overburdened, just empty, and devoid of enthusiasm. Recognize anyone like this?

Noting a huge gap between effort invested and rewards received, and sensing they have little control or influence over the situation, the Worn Out back off on effort to match the disappointing level of reward. They believe that what they do doesn’t make much of a difference, and may appear apathetic and cynical. Recognize anyone like this? (more…)

REFLECTION:  In the last few weeks, the media has been very generous with coverage of my latest book, Press Pause…Think Again. A couple of morning TV shows, and several newspapers ran features. Many clients, colleagues and friends sent along their congrats.

However, one of the most treasured comments came from my Mom, who by phone and via Facebook made a point of saying, “We’re proud of you.” Even after all these years, hearing those words from one of my parents still has a profoundly uplifting effect on me.

I’d hazard a guess that appreciative comments have a positive effect on you, too. Especially so, when they come from someone whose opinion you value.

There is something validating and uplifting about others taking an interest in what is happening in your world, shining a little light in your direction, and taking the time to let you know you’re on their radar.

Research supports the positive impact of showing an interest in others and expressing appreciation. (more…)

Thought you might appreciate knowing about recent newspaper coverage of the pause message and the latest book, Press Pause…Press On.

Irene Seiberling of the Regina Leader Post, wrote a great article that appeared in the LP on Wed, January 18: Take Time To Pause, Re-Energize. Irene has been such a great encourager of my work over the years, and has covered every single one of my five books published. It’s wonderful to have such a long-term supporter who so generously uses her platform to share and shape the news.

If you know of others who really need to hear the Pause message, be sure to forward a link to this post to their attention, too.

Enjoy! Paus-atively Yours, Pat