Saskatoon

Frosty The Snowman - Compliments of 5 Year Old Grandson, Ethan

For the last few years, I’ve devoted the final Pause message of December to focusing on one key idea.  Peace, joy, love, hope, kindness, and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.

As 2012 winds to an end, I find myself grateful for so many of the people and events of my life. And, so, gratitude steps forward to take its turn center stage.

The work of positive psychologists, like Martin Seligman, stresses the impact of gratitude on our sense of well-being. Even in the toughest of times, if you can find small blessings for which to be grateful, you can reset your emotional thermostat for comfort. That means less sweating it out in the heat of the moment and less shivering when life turns a cold shoulder in your direction.

I hope you enjoy reflecting on a few of my favorite quotes on gratitude. May you and yours find many reasons to be grateful at this time, and more throughout the year that lies ahead.

Thanks for staying tuned to the Pause message, and for sharing these ideas with family, friends and colleagues. Catch you on the flip side of the new year!

Appreciatively Yours, Pat

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. – William Arthur Ward

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. – Maya Angelou

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. – Colette (more…)

Reflection: Clients tell me all the time that the most difficult challenge in the midst of overload is to know where to focus your attention and how to keep it there. Tasks seem equally important and there are lots of them in play. It’s easy to find yourself bouncing around accomplishing little or nothing at all – an experience that adds to the overwhelm.

When this happens to you (and this is one of those seasons when overload runs rampant), it’s time to practice chiaroscuro. What, you say? Chiaroscuro? No, you don’t need to know how to spell it or pronounce it, you just need to know how to use it.

In the world of art, chiaroscuro is a technique that highlights the main subject in the foreground, while shifting the lesser details into the shadows. When applied to a painting for instance, your eye may wander through the entire image, but because of the high contrast your attention repeatedly returns to the main event.

It’s a formal term for what my most recent art instructor told me would strengthen my watercolors. In his words, “Show more gumption with your darks.” And truly, when you add contrast, when you force a few elements into the background, the main focus pops to the fore. (more…)

University Bridge - Saskatoon

Reflection: Awfulizing: The act of blanketing an event or circumstance with a black cloud, assuming the absolute worst, and actively driving mind and heart into a downward spiral of doom. Been there? Done that?

Some time ago, I wrote about the concept of Discretionary Burdens – worries which may or may not be real. The DB’s are a common outcome of awfulizing. The DB idea generated a strong reaction, which prompted me to develop a DB quiz and work it into my presentations on stress, wellness and balance.

I thought you might enjoy checking your own practices for DB tendencies. Give yourself 1 point for each question to which you can answer ‘Yes’.

1. Have you ever exploded one small comment or action into a great big hairy deal?
2. Have you ever turned something you like to do into something you have to do?
3. In the absence of information have you ever made up your own?
4. Have you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on an ordinary day, and wondered who is that miserable so and so and who peed in their cornflakes?
5. Have you ever translated a whiff of unsettling news into a full-blown disaster scenario?

Scoring Code: The closer to 5, the greater your awfulizing tendencies and the more you could be stressing yourself out unnecessarily. (more…)

Plaza de la Fuente - Sedona, AZ

Reflection: What’s wrong with being right? Not much at all. What’s wrong with NEEDING to be right? Sometimes nothing, and sometimes plenty.

I’ve seen workplace and family disagreements burst into flame when people assert their rightness – in fact or opinion – and go on to declare that, since they are right, others must clearly be wrong. The assertions and counter attacks fuel an inferno of conflict. Net result: more stress and a tragic waste of energy!

One of the things I’ve learned from life is that situations are not always that clear cut. Fact lives just around the corner from fiction. There is ALWAYS another point of view – or two or three! Many viewpoints are just as valid, and may even be more accurate or insightful than what I might have seen from where I stand.

This lesson was reinforced on my first tour with a group of painters. Each time our group of 15 artists settled down to sketch a landscape or streetscape, we all set up in roughly the same area, with pretty much the same materials, looking at approximately the same view.

And yet, two hours later, what turned up on paper was amazingly diverse. The paintings reflected our interest in different parts of the scene, our varied levels of experience, and our assorted preferences in style. Despite painting ‘elbow to elbow’, the sketches diverged with our ability to ‘see’, to capture, and to interpret.

Fifteen different sets of eyes and hands led to fifteen different points of view. Who was right? Everybody. Who was wrong? Nobody. (more…)

Reflection: Meet Gil and Soto. They run the Breakfast Room at the Best Western Arroyo Roble in beautiful Sedona, Arizona. It’s a busy spot with travellers coming and going – solo business folks in a hurry, retired couples with all the time in the world, active families in hiking gear eager to hit the red rock country trails.

Over the years, I’ve stayed at a number of ‘breakfast included’ hotels. The quality of the food has varied, but what has been pretty consistent is the lackadaisical, ‘I’d rather be anywhere else than here’, atmosphere set by the staff who manage the service.

That’s what makes Gil and Soto stand out. In the midst of the busy morning press (greeting guests, answering questions, orienting new comers, replenishing food trays, clearing tables), they are unfailingly smiling, welcoming, and helpful.

On our last morning, I told Gil how much I appreciated the way he and Soto went about their jobs. He commented that he’d learned a thing or two over his many years in the workplace. He noted that coming to work with a smile on his face and a desire to be of service to others makes all the difference in how people respond and in the way he experiences the pressures of the work itself.

(more…)

Stuck? We've all been there sometime!

Reflection: One thing for sure about the many roads of life is that no matter where you are in your travels, someone has been down that path already and someone else is just taking a first step along the way. On any given journey, we may find ourselves the experienced travel pro or the novice at the starting gate.

Whether it’s struggling with a new leadership role in the workplace, trying to figure out how best to parent a headstrong teenager, or coping with a time of life when everybody needs you – or when no one seems to need you – someone, somewhere has already worked their way through that puzzle and out the other side.

I was thinking about this the last time I took a painting workshop from my first mentor in the world of art, Cecelia Jurgens. Cecelia is a very accomplished artist and an equally encouraging instructor. Along with the samples of her current work (always inspiring), she occasionally brings along a few of her earliest sketchbooks (equally inspiring).

I’m sure Cecelia would agree that, compared to where she is now in her career, the work in those early sketchbooks isn’t quite as accomplished. And, THAT is exactly what gives those who are just starting out along the path hope that their skills, too, will grow and develop. (more…)

Talking and thinking about it … or acting and moving on it? Robert Genn makes a compelling argument for one of these approaches in this week’s Painter’s Keys blog post, Two Artists. And, the concept applies not just to artists, either.

I can see a number of areas in my life where I have spent or am spending way too much time in one vein and not nearly enough time in the other. How about you?

Reflection: There’s more than enough confusion to go around these days. Options and opinions abound. It’s easy to be pushed by a persuasive argument, or shoved by a compelling assertion.

In the face of it all, the central questions are really, “How do YOU feel?” and “What do YOU think?” And how best do you tap into your beliefs and choose actions that fit with the values you hold to be important?

The answer is not more input, it’s more insight. And insight is mostly an inside job that involves disengaging from the commotion around us while tapping the core within. Clear head…clear path.

Action: If you don’t yet have a regular mindfulness practice – something that helps you stay aware of what’s going on in your body and your mind – there is still time to develop one. (more…)

Reflection: A recent movie featuring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman popularized the idea of the Bucket List – a set of experiences you hope/plan/long to have before you die (AKA ‘kicking the bucket’). Bucket Lists tend to feature splashy adventures and stretch experiences – the things that dreams are made of!

I actually find another bucket metaphor equally intriguing.  It’s an idea put forward by authors Rath and Clifton who suggest that each of us owns an invisible bucket and an invisible dipper. As we move through our lives, we are constantly filling or draining each other’s buckets of positive emotion – based on what we do and say.

We can top up another’s bucket with a positive comment or drain their bucket with a thoughtless action. Our interactions with others are rarely neutral – and those actions reflectively enhance or diminish our own levels in the process. As in, filling another’s bucket tops up our own bucket, too. And vice versa.

A full bucket generates positive outlooks and plenty of energy. An empty bucket spawns sour outlooks and gorbs of apathy.

Action: I like the image and I appreciate the idea. However, I suggest we take it one step further. (more…)

Bourbon St Restaurant In Bend, Oregon

Reflection:  It’s the final day of a one-week painting class in beautiful sunny Bend, Oregon. The town is an artist’s delight – interesting boutiques, sidewalk cafes, flowers tumbling from every lamppost. The instructor is equally delightful – skilled, available and encouraging. The only downside (and it’s a minor one, at that) is that the class is delivered entirely indoors – no plein air painting at all.

And so, on the final day of class, I promise myself a treat – painting over lunch outdoors. I’d scouted out the ideal spot from which to sketch: a sidewalk café with a tasty menu, kitty corner from a great little vignette. My target: a quaint little shop with odd bits and pieces tumbling out onto the sidewalk, framed by flower pots, lamp post and cast iron benches.

I arrive early enough to snag the perfect outdoor table. I place my order for lunch, and pull my art supplies from my bag. At the very moment I grab my pen, flip open my sketchbook and look up to begin, a massive brown UPS delivery truck pulls into the loading zone directly between me and the target of my artistic pursuit.

While initially annoyed, I reckon it’s a five-minute loading zone and he is a man on a mission, so not to worry. I enjoy a sip of my wine, soak up a few rays, and start on my lunch. However, my patient equanimity doesn’t last for long. (more…)