Sometimes we just need to lighten up and clear the clutter from our lives so that we can see the way forward.
Pursuits we once enjoyed may, at some point, turn into clutter. Picture the hobbies that once consumed your interest and fueled your enthusiasm – photography, gardening, biking. You’ve amassed all the tools, equipment and supplies; and there they sit, inducing guilt – lonely, abandoned, taking up space. Where once you couldn’t get enough of the fun, now it feels like just one more thing that you should be doing.
Free stuff – samples, magazines, hand me downs – pile up, too. Just because something is free doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of the offer or hang on to it forever.
If you’ve outgrown it, move on. Sell the supplies or give the tools to someone who values them, but get them out of your way.
As sad as it may be, sometimes we need to unclutter our web of relationships as well. Some relationships are more infuriating than enhancing. Needs change. Shared interests disappear. Circumstances shift. Distance grows. Appreciate those connections for the ways they enriched your life in the past, and move on.
In the vacuum, new interests, new directions, new relationships will appear. Opportunities will arise. Your enthusiasm will grow. (more…)
PAUSE – 13.19 – Keeping The Grunt Work From Grinding You Down!
May 15, 2013
Reflection: I spent much of last weekend in the garden. Raked the leaves out of the beds and corners. Mulched them with the mower. Added them back to the soil. Trimmed last year’s dead foliage from around the new growth on the perennials. Picked up the branches the winter winds stripped from the trees. Hauled perennials, buried in their pots, from the beds where they’d spent the winter. Hosed the spring dust from the trees and decks.
Do I love doing this stuff? Not really! As much as I try to approach it in a mindful way with an appreciative mindset, in truth, it’s dusty, dirty, back bending (sometimes back breaking) work.
What I DO love, though, is the result. It’s rewarding to see things set back in order once more; and it’s energizing to know that I’ve set the scene for good things that lie ahead.
I love the fresh growth, the new shoots, and the blatant optimism of bulbs which, having weathered the winter, push through bravely the ground. Most of all, I love the promise of color and beauty that lie ahead. And, that’s why I do the work.
I’m pretty sure – even if you’re not a gardener – that you’ve got plenty of grunt work in your world, too. Maybe it’s the demolition before a renovation. Could be something physical like a kitchen reno, or something cerebral like a remake on your business website. Maybe it’s the research legwork before launching a new product, designing a new program, or entering a new market.
Grunt work is rarely glamorous or engaging in itself, but it’s an investment that can take us someplace we really want to go.
Action: How do you pull yourself through the obligatory grunt and groan to the eventual great and grand? These four strategies can help: (more…)
PAUSE – 13.17 – Can You Stand It?
May 1, 2013
Reflection: Comedienne, Phyllis Diller, once remarked, “My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.” Funny as she was, Phyllis had it wrong. Sitting is not necessarily better for your health. Sure, if you’re on your feet a lot during the day, taking a load off serves to…well, take a load off. It brings a welcome relief to weary feet, knees and back.
But a whole lot of us are not standing. We’re sitting, sitting, sitting. At the computer, behind the wheel, in front of the TV, on bleachers watching others play sports, and around the table at community meetings.
According to recent research cited by the Mayo Clinic, sitting for long periods of time is directly associated with obesity and a set of conditions known as metabolic syndrome – something that leads to higher blood pressure, skewed blood sugar, and abnormal cholesterol levels.
Too much sitting is also associated with upper back and neck pain, and a higher risk of death from cardiovascular disease and cancer. Don’t like the sounds of that? Neither do I!
Why does getting a move on matter so much? Apparently the muscle activity used in standing and other kinds of movement helps trigger the breakdown of fats and sugars in the body. Every time you stand or move, you set those processes in motion; and those processes help keep you healthy.
Action: What’s better than sitting? Sitter-itus Interruptus! It looks like this. (more…)
PAUSE – 13.16 – Where Might Imperfect Be More Than Enough?
April 24, 2013
Reflection: One of life’s great stressors is the drive to make things perfect. Sure, there are circumstances where perfection matters. Defusing a bomb and fixing an aneurysm come to mind.
Now, I don’t know about your world, but those tasks have never been part of my everyday life. As I heard someone observe recently, not everything we do is ‘rocket surgery’!
What I do see is a lot of time and effort invested in perfecting that last 10 or 20% whether it’s writing the perfect report or maintaining an immaculate home.
There is a time to improve our skills and advance our performance by applying a critical eye to the task at hand. But it will be a joyless painful journey if we are perpetually bent on perfection – ever at the mercy of a critical mind.
Poking holes in progress is a hurtful inclination if we don’t stop to embrace and appreciate where we have come from and what we have accomplished – however imperfect it may be.
Early in my attempts to paint with watercolors, I made a lot of mud – mud being the painterly term for ‘greyed out colors lacking contrast and shape’.
What I’ve come to understand is that many who do not paint themselves consider even minor mud a masterpiece. We stand in in awe of what others attempt, simply because we can’t imagine ourselves having the courage or skill to give it a try.
Don’t be too quick to discard, reject, or condemn the results of your own efforts. There is often a place for less than perfect outcomes. In fact, a certain quirkiness may bring value of its own.
Japanese potters practice the art of Kintsugi – mending broken objects by filling the cracks with resin sprinkled with powdered gold. They believe that objects with their own imperfections and history become more beautiful – not less.
Action: So, here’s a question to pause and ponder today. Where, in your life, might imperfect be more than enough?
Reflection: How tightly crammed is your daily and weekly schedule? Are there gaps or just glimmers?
For years now, I’ve advocated in favor of white space. Time held free between meetings, commitments, and events that serve as a buffer in a busy life.
Meetings spill over, traffic jams, and a body’s got to eat sometime!
But buffers offer more than just a way to meet physical needs and stay on time. They give us room to breathe, and time to think.
Suppose you’ve just finished a meeting with a few members of your team. There’s merit in pausing to consider the ‘so what’ of the experience:
What do you need to do next as a result of the exchange?
What kind of coaching would help someone stay on track or grow in skill?
What does this new information mean for where you are headed?
What does it say about how far you’ve come?
In the absence of time to think about these things, in the pressure to race forward to what comes next, we lose our way. We also lose the opportunity to celebrate progress, shift direction, and build capacity.
Action: Place a high value on pausing for reflection. Make and take the time to think.
Block 10 or 15 minute buffers between events. Keep your intention front and center. Encourage others to do the same.
Reap the considerable rewards of a more considerate pace and a more considered experience.
Quote Of The Week: This space intentionally left blank. Jeff Weiner
Readers Write: In response to last week’s message, What’s New In Your World, Pause reader DC writes: Thanks for the wonderful link! I have watched it and forwarded to friends and family. They are just so cute. And, yes, if you just could go a quarter turn in your listening skills, you’d clearly understand what they are saying. Have an amazing day, I plan to do so!
PAUSE – 13.09 – Who’s In Charge Of YOUR Mind?
March 6, 2013
Reflection: It moderates stress and anxiety in children. It just might work for us, too. ‘It’ is mindfulness – a concept attracting growing attention in both the worlds of education and business.
Last week I spoke at an Early Childhood Education conference in Edmonton. Mindfulness served as the central theme for their event. And, as you might imagine, the practice of pausing for renewal and pausing to be more thoughtful, for which I’m known, fit right in.
It was a bonus for me to be able to sit in on a couple of other sessions, and I was intrigued to learn more about a new school-based program called MindUP. The program gives young students the tools they need to manage emotions and behaviors, reduce stress, sharpen concentration, and grow empathy and optimism. Sounds like something adults could use, too!
Two elements form the foundation for the program. Students are first introduced to basic brain science. They learn how stressful situations trigger natural defensive emotional reactions which shut down access to the thinking part of the brain. They are then taught to take charge of their brain and their behavior (to gather themselves) through the art of mindful breathing.
Breathing is presented as a way to settle the mind and the emotion – to sidetrack those ‘run away train’ feelings – so they can access the thinking part of the brain, the Prefrontal Cortex. Daily practice sessions (morning, midday and end of day) consist of three minutes of quiet, focused mindful breathing.
MindUP is showing strong results in developing emotional maturity (less anxiety and more calm), social relationships (greater empathy for others), and academic performance. And, the kids who see how well this works in their own lives are teaching their siblings and even their parents how to calm down and get a grip! How cool is that?
Reflection: What do you think? When it comes to work-life conflict and balance, are we making progress or sliding deeper into the morass? Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.
To help us determine the results, Ontario researchers, Duxbury and Higgins, have just released their 2012 survey of Canadian employees. It’s the third time in two decades (1991 and 2001) that they have gone to the proverbial well to set benchmarks for how we are doing on the work life frontier.
I can tell you now, if you placed your bet on ‘backsliding’, you are a clear winner. But, of course that means, that Canadian workplaces and employees are the losers. Here are a few highlights from the survey info provided by 25,000 Canadian employees.
Work demands continue to increase dramatically. The typical employee now spends 50.2 hours in work related activities each week. By gender, 68% of men and 54% of women now work more than 45 hours per week compared to 55% of men and 39% of women in the 2001 survey.
Work spills into ‘off-hours’. 54% of employees take work home on evenings and weekends where they spend another 7 hours/week on work (much of it email).
Role overload is common. 40% report high levels of total role overload. The source? 32% report high work role overload and 26% report high family role overload.
The impact of work life conflict on the workplace includes absenteeism, reduced productivity and increased draws on employee benefits. The personal impact includes loss of sleep, low energy, and less time for selves – notably fewer social and recreation activities.
As you might guess, stress levels are up. 57% report high levels of stress, and 40% report moderate levels of stress. Only a lucky 3% report low levels of stress.
Action: D & H offer these recommendations for organizations. (more…)
PAUSE – 12.34 – Chiaroscuro
December 12, 2012
Reflection: Clients tell me all the time that the most difficult challenge in the midst of overload is to know where to focus your attention and how to keep it there. Tasks seem equally important and there are lots of them in play. It’s easy to find yourself bouncing around accomplishing little or nothing at all – an experience that adds to the overwhelm.
When this happens to you (and this is one of those seasons when overload runs rampant), it’s time to practice chiaroscuro. What, you say? Chiaroscuro? No, you don’t need to know how to spell it or pronounce it, you just need to know how to use it.
In the world of art, chiaroscuro is a technique that highlights the main subject in the foreground, while shifting the lesser details into the shadows. When applied to a painting for instance, your eye may wander through the entire image, but because of the high contrast your attention repeatedly returns to the main event.
It’s a formal term for what my most recent art instructor told me would strengthen my watercolors. In his words, “Show more gumption with your darks.” And truly, when you add contrast, when you force a few elements into the background, the main focus pops to the fore. (more…)
PAUSE – 12.31 – Stretching Time Through Service
November 21, 2012
Reflection: Meet Gil and Soto. They run the Breakfast Room at the Best Western Arroyo Roble in beautiful Sedona, Arizona. It’s a busy spot with travellers coming and going – solo business folks in a hurry, retired couples with all the time in the world, active families in hiking gear eager to hit the red rock country trails.
Over the years, I’ve stayed at a number of ‘breakfast included’ hotels. The quality of the food has varied, but what has been pretty consistent is the lackadaisical, ‘I’d rather be anywhere else than here’, atmosphere set by the staff who manage the service.
That’s what makes Gil and Soto stand out. In the midst of the busy morning press (greeting guests, answering questions, orienting new comers, replenishing food trays, clearing tables), they are unfailingly smiling, welcoming, and helpful.
On our last morning, I told Gil how much I appreciated the way he and Soto went about their jobs. He commented that he’d learned a thing or two over his many years in the workplace. He noted that coming to work with a smile on his face and a desire to be of service to others makes all the difference in how people respond and in the way he experiences the pressures of the work itself.
Talking and thinking about it … or acting and moving on it? Robert Genn makes a compelling argument for one of these approaches in this week’s Painter’s Keys blog post, Two Artists. And, the concept applies not just to artists, either.
I can see a number of areas in my life where I have spent or am spending way too much time in one vein and not nearly enough time in the other. How about you?
Reflection & Action: Old files. Outdated products. Obsolete references. Unfashionable clothes. Petty grievances. Waning interests. Hopeless relationships.
