Patricia Katz

Last February’s 2012 ‘heart month’ give away (29 copies of Press Pause…Think Again in 29 days) was a real hit. This year, I’m offering another chance for you to encourage others in this very tangible way.

As February unfolds I will be giving away 28 copies of my booklet: ‘Take A Bow…67 Ways to Pause For Applause, Celebrate your Success, & Keep Your Spirits High’. These will go to people YOU want to encourage.

Here’s how it works. Think of someone in your circle of acquaintance who could use a lift or who you’d like to recognize for who they are and what they do. Email me that person’s name along with a thought or two about why you’d like to give them this gift. ( info@pauseworks.com )

Use the words, Take A Bow, in the Subject line of your email message. And, include your postal address in each entry. Include only one person in each nomination message. Enter as many times as you wish.

Each day I will draw the name of one lucky recipient from the entries received. If your nominee is chosen, I will personalize the booklet in their name and send it to you so that you can have the fun of presenting it yourself.

All entries received will be included in the draw bucket right through to the end of the month. I’m excited to be helping you help others to ‘Take A Bow’. Happy February.

Reflection: It’s the season of flu and ‘achoo’! We try to protect ourselves – and others – with flu shots, fist bumps, and hand washing. Still, somehow the devilish germs find a way to work their magic. Fact is, if we’re infected or afflicted, we’re contagious.

We’re emotionally contagious, too! Spend time in the company of a high-spirited individual with a positive outlook on events and an enthusiasm for life, and somehow you feel better about your world.

Spend those same hours in the company of someone whose signature color is gray, who specializes in morose and miserable, and you can easily find yourself skidding down that slippery slide into their ‘oh-so-roomy’ pit of despair.

What’s uncanny about it all is that the tendency to adjust our response or behavior to echo those of others around us is often unconscious. We may not even realize it’s happening.

For better or for worse, combine the expressed and underlying moods of everyone on a team or in a family and you’ve got the group’s collective emotional state. And that state influences morale and performance.

Team leaders need to be even more mindful about emotional state, since their influence is greater than that of a “regular” team member. I daresay this holds true for parents in a family situation, too.

Action: So what to do with this insight? (more…)

Reflection: When something good happens to you, are you delighted? Or, do you find yourself anxious – certain that just around the corner looms a steep drop from a cliff or a painful kick in the shins?

Texas researcher, Brene Brown, in her studies on emotional health and vulnerability, reports that far too few of us allow ourselves to fully experience joy, love and good news. As a result, we lose out on the opportunity to fill our reservoirs for any tough times that may eventually make an appearance.

She sees people steeling themselves against possible future vulnerability in these ways:

• Experiencing things joyful as a foreboding harbinger of disaster ahead.
• Embracing disappointment as a lifestyle, maintaining a low-grade disconnection from life.
• Not letting ourselves get excited or passionate about some thing or some one, so we won’t be let down if things don’t pan out.
• Numbing emotion through extremes of eating, drinking, spending, working, and perfectionism. (All of which can be attempts to quell a sense of not being ‘enough’ – or in our fame obsessed culture, not being ‘extraordinary enough’.)

Action: What’s the alternative to cowering behind a highly polished, mega shield, firewall of synthetic invulnerability? (more…)

Reflection: What do you think? When it comes to work-life conflict and balance, are we making progress or sliding deeper into the morass? Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

To help us determine the results, Ontario researchers, Duxbury and Higgins, have just released their 2012 survey of Canadian employees. It’s the third time in two decades (1991 and 2001) that they have gone to the proverbial well to set benchmarks for how we are doing on the work life frontier.

I can tell you now, if you placed your bet on ‘backsliding’, you are a clear winner. But, of course that means, that Canadian workplaces and employees are the losers. Here are a few highlights from the survey info provided by 25,000 Canadian employees.

• Work demands continue to increase dramatically. The typical employee now spends 50.2 hours in work related activities each week. By gender, 68% of men and 54% of women now work more than 45 hours per week compared to 55% of men and 39% of women in the 2001 survey.
• Work spills into ‘off-hours’. 54% of employees take work home on evenings and weekends where they spend another 7 hours/week on work (much of it email).
• Role overload is common. 40% report high levels of total role overload. The source? 32% report high work role overload and 26% report high family role overload.
• The impact of work life conflict on the workplace includes absenteeism, reduced productivity and increased draws on employee benefits. The personal impact includes loss of sleep, low energy, and less time for selves – notably fewer social and recreation activities.

As you might guess, stress levels are up. 57% report high levels of stress, and 40% report moderate levels of stress. Only a lucky 3% report low levels of stress.

Action: D & H offer these recommendations for organizations. (more…)

Auberge De La Fontaine Balcony

Reflection: What are YOU waiting for? Something exciting? Something unnerving? Something uncertain?

In the days leading up to Christmas my five year old grandson was beside himself with anticipation, “I can’t wait to see what Santa brings me!” But, of course, he could and he did, because there was nothing to do but wait – no way to hurry the day.

My daughter is nearing the end of her pregnancy. As her due date draws near, she waits. And we wait, too. Babies take their own sweet time.

In an effort to balance the budget, a major local institution announced that jobs will be lost. Forty in January and more in April. And so, hundreds of people wait to find out whether any pink slips bear their names. They’re not in control of the timing or the decisions, and short of jumping ship in advance, there’s no way to hurry a resolution.

The challenge in the midst of the waiting game is one of staying calm. Of course, good things (like babies and gifts) are easier to await. Other things – not so much. In fact, big issues like potential job losses or major health challenges are serious indeed.

However, when the challenges aren’t that gargantuan or obvious, drumming your fingertips and scanning the skies for a sign can still be unsettling. WAIT (Why Am I Tense?) is a good question to ask. Your answers may suggest some ways to cope. What often stresses us out are the potential bad news stories we tell ourselves about things to come. Getting a handle on those is a first step. (more…)

Ethan's 'Bird & Toast'

Reflection: We’re now a full week into 2013. Chances are good that you’ve already goofed up on something; or if not yet, soon will. That’s not a prediction of doom, but simply a statement of probability.

We all mess up. It’s a given. We stumble over a new year’s resolution. We miss an appointment or renege on a promise. The question is: what do we do when we err?

While painting together over the holidays, my 5 year old grandson, Ethan, treated me to a live life-lesson on handling ‘mistakes’. You’ll find his masterpiece posted with this message. Take a peak now. It will help make sense of the story.

Here’s what happened. Ethan set out to paint a small glass perfume bottle that sparkled on the window ledge in the studio. It did not go well.

He sat back and evaluated, noting that his image did not look at all like the bottle. However, he could see the possibility of a bird, so he added feathers and legs to make it so.

Once there was a bird in the picture, he added a tree trunk and branches, green leaves, red berries, a nest and eggs. Contemplating his pic so far, he remembered that squirrels like trees. So he set about adding a squirrel to the picture. It did not go well.

Once again, he sat back and took stock. What to do with a shapeless brown splotch? Inspiration arose. He would turn it into a slice of toast, as he knew from experience that birds like crumbs. He was sure it would all work out. And so it did!

I was amazed at his flexibility of mind and his ability to adapt to changing circumstances. (more…)

Frosty The Snowman - Compliments of 5 Year Old Grandson, Ethan

For the last few years, I’ve devoted the final Pause message of December to focusing on one key idea.  Peace, joy, love, hope, kindness, and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.

As 2012 winds to an end, I find myself grateful for so many of the people and events of my life. And, so, gratitude steps forward to take its turn center stage.

The work of positive psychologists, like Martin Seligman, stresses the impact of gratitude on our sense of well-being. Even in the toughest of times, if you can find small blessings for which to be grateful, you can reset your emotional thermostat for comfort. That means less sweating it out in the heat of the moment and less shivering when life turns a cold shoulder in your direction.

I hope you enjoy reflecting on a few of my favorite quotes on gratitude. May you and yours find many reasons to be grateful at this time, and more throughout the year that lies ahead.

Thanks for staying tuned to the Pause message, and for sharing these ideas with family, friends and colleagues. Catch you on the flip side of the new year!

Appreciatively Yours, Pat

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. – William Arthur Ward

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. – Maya Angelou

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. – Colette (more…)

Reflection: Clients tell me all the time that the most difficult challenge in the midst of overload is to know where to focus your attention and how to keep it there. Tasks seem equally important and there are lots of them in play. It’s easy to find yourself bouncing around accomplishing little or nothing at all – an experience that adds to the overwhelm.

When this happens to you (and this is one of those seasons when overload runs rampant), it’s time to practice chiaroscuro. What, you say? Chiaroscuro? No, you don’t need to know how to spell it or pronounce it, you just need to know how to use it.

In the world of art, chiaroscuro is a technique that highlights the main subject in the foreground, while shifting the lesser details into the shadows. When applied to a painting for instance, your eye may wander through the entire image, but because of the high contrast your attention repeatedly returns to the main event.

It’s a formal term for what my most recent art instructor told me would strengthen my watercolors. In his words, “Show more gumption with your darks.” And truly, when you add contrast, when you force a few elements into the background, the main focus pops to the fore. (more…)

University Bridge - Saskatoon

Reflection: Awfulizing: The act of blanketing an event or circumstance with a black cloud, assuming the absolute worst, and actively driving mind and heart into a downward spiral of doom. Been there? Done that?

Some time ago, I wrote about the concept of Discretionary Burdens – worries which may or may not be real. The DB’s are a common outcome of awfulizing. The DB idea generated a strong reaction, which prompted me to develop a DB quiz and work it into my presentations on stress, wellness and balance.

I thought you might enjoy checking your own practices for DB tendencies. Give yourself 1 point for each question to which you can answer ‘Yes’.

1. Have you ever exploded one small comment or action into a great big hairy deal?
2. Have you ever turned something you like to do into something you have to do?
3. In the absence of information have you ever made up your own?
4. Have you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on an ordinary day, and wondered who is that miserable so and so and who peed in their cornflakes?
5. Have you ever translated a whiff of unsettling news into a full-blown disaster scenario?

Scoring Code: The closer to 5, the greater your awfulizing tendencies and the more you could be stressing yourself out unnecessarily. (more…)

Plaza de la Fuente - Sedona, AZ

Reflection: What’s wrong with being right? Not much at all. What’s wrong with NEEDING to be right? Sometimes nothing, and sometimes plenty.

I’ve seen workplace and family disagreements burst into flame when people assert their rightness – in fact or opinion – and go on to declare that, since they are right, others must clearly be wrong. The assertions and counter attacks fuel an inferno of conflict. Net result: more stress and a tragic waste of energy!

One of the things I’ve learned from life is that situations are not always that clear cut. Fact lives just around the corner from fiction. There is ALWAYS another point of view – or two or three! Many viewpoints are just as valid, and may even be more accurate or insightful than what I might have seen from where I stand.

This lesson was reinforced on my first tour with a group of painters. Each time our group of 15 artists settled down to sketch a landscape or streetscape, we all set up in roughly the same area, with pretty much the same materials, looking at approximately the same view.

And yet, two hours later, what turned up on paper was amazingly diverse. The paintings reflected our interest in different parts of the scene, our varied levels of experience, and our assorted preferences in style. Despite painting ‘elbow to elbow’, the sketches diverged with our ability to ‘see’, to capture, and to interpret.

Fifteen different sets of eyes and hands led to fifteen different points of view. Who was right? Everybody. Who was wrong? Nobody. (more…)