learning

REFLECTION: Welcome back, everybody. The holidays are now behind us; and, on reflection, I realized a thing or two about a very helpful practice known as savoring.

I now know why, on Christmas Eve, my grandson is so eager for Santa’s arrival that he can barely contain himself. I now know why my mother’s Christmas gifts sit at her feet unopened while she watches the rest of us rip into our parcels. I now know why I leave the Christmas tree lit up for an extra week after the new year has arrived.

It’s because we’re all, in our own ways, savoring the experience: the anticipation of magic, the excitement of watching a recipient’s face light up in delight, the soft glow of the lights against the January darkness.

Research by positive psychologist, Dr Fred Bryant, shows that those who regularly and frequently savor are happier and more satisfied with life in general. They are more optimistic; and they are less depressed. Who wouldn’t want that?

Savoring is about marveling, basking, admiring, appreciating, and luxuriating. It’s about paying attention, tuning in, soaking it up.  Savoring is emphatically not about multitasking, rushing, hurrying, and speeding on to the next. (more…)

Feeling squeezed by the pressures of this crazymaking world of ours? Unless you’re in the end stages of childbirth (a rare occurrence for most of us), don’t simply bear down and push harder. In everyday experience, that leads directly to crash ‘n’ burn or blur ‘n’ endure.

If you want better outcomes, make better choices. Stop overloading and start rightloading your life.

Here are five ways to move in a more positive direction for the year ahead:

1. Shift how you carry the load. Step away from your work and responsibilities every 90 minutes or so to do something renewing. See frequent pauses as an investment in being able to continue – not a reward for being done.
2. Watch how you define the load. Stop creating discretionary burdens. When you don’t know how something will turn out (and we rarely do), assume the best. Refuse to wallow in worry. See meltdowns as optional – not inevitable.
3. Learn to control the load. Negotiate expectations – speak up about overloading, multi-loading and perpetual loading. Monitor the place of technology in your life. Set your own rules for when you are connected and unplugged.
4. Make time to celebrate the load. Relationships and opportunities come with demands and expectations; they also deliver rewards.  Some things that we complain we ‘have to do’ we are actually lucky we ‘get to do’. Give an unreserved ‘Yes’ to invitations that will enrich your life.
5. Put speed in its place. A fast answer is not necessarily a good answer. Every request is not an emergency. There’s no need to constantly pepper our conversations with the word, quick: a quick word, a quick trip, a quick lunch, a quick visit. Conversations, lunches and connections are all legitimate uses of time.

Calm down. Slow down. Take it easy.  Press pause…think again!

PS – For more helpful action-prompting suggestions on this theme, get yourself a copy of my latest book (Press Pause…Think Again) and nab a copy or two for others who share your dilemma. Start a Press Pause support team and create a more sane and satisfying environment in the year ahead. Happy New Year!

I just returned from several days of learning and sharing with my speaker colleagues at our annual CAPS Convention in Toronto. As with most experiences, I try to harvest the goodies before they fade into the background and life moves me ‘on to the next’.

Here are some of my take aways from this year’s conversations. Some are more specific to the entrepreneurial world of speakerdom – but many have general life application. So I thought I’d share them all.

Alan Weiss: Real wealth is discretionary time.

Bob Gray: If you want to remember something – or want others to remember – tie the idea to the whackiest, goofiest, silliest, most disconnected image possible. It confuses the brain and anchors the memory.

BG2: ‘I’m too old!’ really means ‘Leave me alone. I’m in my comfort zone.’

Mike Domritz:  If you want to have more of an impact, ask people how they are going to USE the information they’ve just heard. Don’t ask how much they liked you, your information, or the presentation itself.

Donald Cooper: In reply to a question about retirement: I’m doing the best work of my life. Why would I stop?

Laura Stack: Stop trying to break through the wall. Go for the open door and the people who already want what you’re doing.

LS2: A brand is what happens in the brain of your audience.

Cheryl Cran: Want to know how your work is received by Gen Y (the millenials)? Ask one of them to critique your presentation, your writing, your materials, your website. They’ll tell you what they think.

David Gouthro: What’s your mindset? Critical or appreciative? Choose to travel your day as a Gem Collector not a Crap Detector.

Cameron Hay: We cannot afford speakers who are mediocre in front of our members. Our program is our brand.

Mark Sanborn: There are no singular solutions. We each offer a piece of the puzzle.

MS2: Success is just an early warning indicator of failure.

Sam Horn: People don’t want more information; they want epiphanies.

Hope these ideas give you a little food for thought, too.

REFLECTION: Every once in a while, I stumble across goofy lists of antiquated laws. Here are a few of my most recent finds. In Denver, Colorado, it was once unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. In New York, it was unlawful to walk around with an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sunday. In North Dakota, it was against the law to fall asleep with your shoes on.

Now as to whether these laws are still in place or not, I cannot testify. Presumably at the time the laws were written and passed, the rules made perfect sense to somebody. Years later, we find ourselves stuck in a time warp with behavior guides that have long outlived their usefulness.

As easy as it can be to chuckle at the seeming absurdities of the behaviors of others, it’s much tougher to look at our own ‘life rules’, habits and guidelines with an inquiring mind and eye. (more…)

REFLECTION: There’s a first time for everything. It’s a trite but true saying that packs a lot of impact.

I was thinking about that idea this week as I prepared to deliver a session on appreciation and encouragement for a group of corporate trainers.

To an experienced presenter, another day in the seminar room might be experienced as ‘business as usual’. However, for some of the first time learners, being in a classroom may be far from their everyday experience. Although a change of pace and a chance to learn something new may be exciting for them, it may also feel risky. And if their past experiences in learning settings were not exactly supportive (like long division trauma at the Grade Five chalkboard), they may be worried about whether they will measure up, be embarrassed, or even be able to understand what’s going on.

Think back to a few of your own experiences along the way: starting grade one, first day of high school, beginning a brand new job. Although you may have been all smiles on the outside, chances are good there was a major case of nerves brewing on the inside.

It’s not just education that delivers the first time jitters. Healthcare:  first time you undergo surgery.  Finance: first time you sign your name for a major loan or a mortgage. Parenting: first time you realize this helpless creature is entirely dependent on you.

Here’s where I’m going with this. (more…)

REFLECTION & ACTION: As I waited for my medical-test results, my mind led me down some amazing trails-most of them predicting disastrous outcomes. Within minutes, it took me from ill, to seriously ill, to languishing on my deathbed, to planning my funeral.

On what were these stories based? Nada. Zip. Nothing. No information at all! In the absence of information, my mind seemed determined to manufacture its own.

An African tribe that teaches its children how to calm themselves in anxious situations offers a wonderful strategy to handle the pressure of the unknown. Little ones who start imagining the worst (man-eating tigers lurking at the edge of the path) spin their yarns based only on fear. They are told to watch for a pattern. Once they notice the pattern, they stop and label their flights of fancy as hurting stories-stories that don’t have to be written.

As adults, we spin scary yarns about negative outcomes based on nothing but fear. This project is doomed. The market will dry up. My business will fail. Our relationship is dust.

Pay close attention to the churning of your mind. When you find yourself getting bent out of shape, particularly when evidence is lacking, pause. See if you can identify the pattern and the hurting story. (more…)

REFLECTION: 41 years ago today (April 13, 1970), Jack Swigert, astronaut on the infamous Apollo 13 mission delivered this memorable phrase, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”, after an oxygen tank burst on their way to the Moon. In fact, Swigert’s actual words were: “OK, Houston. Hey, we’ve got a problem here.” But over the years and through the magic of editing, the phrase has been shortened for dramatic effect.

Once the discovery was made, and the problem identified, the Apollo mission quickly shifted from one of exploration (a third lunar landing) to survival (getting the crew back to earth alive). Imagine, however, if the flight crew and ground crew had all stayed stuck in their fear. What would have been the likelihood of a positive outcome?

It’s been years since the event itself, and it’s been years since I last saw the movie, Apollo 13. However, it’s been nowhere near that long since I witnessed someone getting severely bent out of shape about a life altering event or circumstance – myself included.

Problems come and problems go. Some of them are Apollo dramatic and truly life threatening. Others are simply minor blips on the old Stress-O-Meter Radar. The challenge is one of sifting the serious challenges from the minor irritations. (more…)

REFLECTION: Last week marked a significant change in my extended family, as my parents moved from their home on the farm into a brand new residence in Saskatoon. My Dad was born in that farmhouse 85 years ago. He lived and worked there for most of his life. My Mom joined him on the farm when they married 60 years ago.

Together they raised a family of six girls, who eventually brought home husbands, grandchildren and more recently great-grandchildren. This last December, 29 of us gathered in that small one-bathroom farm house – all very much aware of the significance of one more Christmas at the farm. The roots run deep and the memories run wide.

The relocation was in the works for a few months. That time was filled with plenty of planning, choosing and deciding. Recent weeks were especially rich in emotion – as years of memorabilia was sifted and sorted – and everyone faced the now near and new realities of a change of place.

We’re definitely not alone in facing change. Every single one of you is dealing with or has dealt with changes of one kind or another – jobs, relationships, living situations, and more. (more…)

REFLECTION: An aversion to stillness is a growing phenomenon in our plugged in world.

Case in point. I recently facilitated a day in a leadership development program. The session focused on Modeling The Way & Encouraging the Heart – two essential leadership practices. During the day we were in and out of group work and discussion.

People were pretty conscientious about turning off their cell phone ringers and setting the gadgets to vibrate. So the ‘audible call-out’ distractions were minimized. However, that didn’t stop people from repeatedly reaching for their phones in much the same way as infants reach for their pacifiers – to plug into something that fills the void.

As soon as group discussion wound down, or a break was announced, people grabbed their phones to check on the world outside. This essentially cut out those to their left and right who might want to engage in further interaction. After all, who wants to get between someone and their phone. However, it also robbed the individual of the opportunity to be still with their own thoughts – in the absence of input from the outside world. Who knows what kind of insights might have arisen given half a chance to see the light of day? (more…)