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St John’s Jelly Bean House #8 Wood Street

Reflection:  Things going right or things going wrong? To what do you pay more attention as you make your way through your day?

Are you on high alert for slights, missteps, and errors of omission or commission?

Are you quick to criticize, and eager to pounce on any infraction against the way things ought to be – in the world according to your Inner Judge?

Or are you tuned to signs that things just might be going well, open to receiving life’s everyday gifts, and prepared to be pleasantly surprised?

Are you quick to appreciate, and keen to focus attention on life’s joyful developments?

And beyond assigning labels of ‘bad or good’ to the experiences of the day, how open are you to the possibility that something first thought ‘wrong’ might just end up being ‘right’? (more…)

Reflection:  Happy 2017 to you! It’s a new year and a fresh start. How are things going so far?

For many years now, I’ve set aside a couple of days at the beginning of January to look back at the year that was and forward to the year that lies ahead. It’s a great way to mark progress – and, let’s face it, sometimes note the lack thereof!

A couple of years ago I also started the practice of tossing notes in one of two jars throughout the year. One jar holds notes about things I hope will come to pass. The other jar holds gratitudes – notes about experiences and people I appreciate as the year unfolds. It’s fun to flip through both before starting afresh each January. (more…)

Reflection: There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world these days. More than usual? It’s tough to say.

Some would argue that certainty is just an illusion anyway – that uncertainty is our normal state.

Still, I’m pretty certain that I’m writing this, you’re reading this, and the sun will rise tomorrow. Not everything, though, is quite so clear.

There are those whose health has taken a turn for the worse. They’re waiting for tests, a diagnosis, treatment, or recovery.

There are those whose relationships are in trouble, with teenagers challenging boundaries or partners growing apart.

There is uncertainty at work. More than one sector has taken a recent turn for the worse. Layoffs are common and restructuring is afoot.

World events (including the recent US election) have created turmoil and upset for many.

So, when the future is uncertain, other than stew, what can you do?

Action: Here are seven strategies to help you cope with the challenge of not knowing. (more…)

Reflection: If you’ve been following some of the work I’ve shared over the last year with respect to Spark & Malaise, you’ll recall me mentioning Bonnie Ware’s findings on the regrets people express near the ends of their lives.

In her research, the number one regret Ware heard repeatedly was that ‘people wished they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves instead of the lives that others expected of them.’

That top finding is echoed in more recent research by Kathy Caprino.

In Caprino’s survey of those at an earlier stage in their lives (middle age and mid-career), she found the following top five regrets: (more…)

Reflection: If you’re familiar with the long-running television series, Seinfeld, you may remember Kramer as one of the wackiest characters on the show.

Both physically and socially awkward, Kramer specialized in dramatic entrances. Charging into the room at high speed and skidding full-tilt to a dead stop, Kramer often declared, “Jerry, it’s a hair straight back day!”

And then, in his frantic way, Kramer would blurt out his dilemma of the day.

Maybe you are ‘blessed’ with a Kramer or two in your world – at work, at home or in your circle of friends.

That’s someone who is always in a hurry, often in a panic, and constantly tied up in knots over frequently inconsequential things.

Like Jerry, who stayed calm in the face of Kramer’s commotion, we too can stay cool, and maybe even help talk our frantic friends down from the ledge.

Consider your ability to stay calm a public service to others and a gift to yourself.

Action: When the ‘Kramers’ of your world invade and spew in every direction, don’t let yourself be blown over or swept away by the commotion. (more…)

Reflection: As much as we might like to think that our success is entirely our own doing, the truth suggests otherwise.

None of us goes it completely alone. There are always others who have opened doors or offered opportunities and support along the way.

I recently had an opportunity to speak to Payroll Professionals in Atlantic Canada about cultivating connections and networking effectively.

In my message, I suggested we focus less on ‘getting the most from our networks’ and focus more on ‘giving the most to our networks’.

In my experience, when we focus on supporting others, good things also tend to flow in our direction.

Action: Here are five ways to actively support those in your circles of connection. Try one today. (more…)

Reflection: We had the great joy of closing out the summer by hosting our 9 year old grandson for a couple of days at Waskesiu Lake.

The weather on the front end was less than ideal. Too cold to swim. To rough to take out a canoe, a paddleboat or a kayak. No matter.

It was perfect for beach combing – given all the flotsam and jetsam that the gale force winds tossed up on shore.

And, as Ethan walked along the beach, eyes glued to the sand, each of his discoveries was accompanied by an expression of delight.

Snail shells. Fish hooks. Odd rocks. Dead minnows.

“Heh, look over here! How cool is this? Is that awesome or what?”

And, of course, each find had to be picked up and closely examined before being added to the collection of treasures to be hauled back to the cabin. Two dead minnows included!

Unfavorable conditions – in this case, the weather – were NOT going to put a damper on this young fellow’s spirits, or interfere with his ability to find delight at every turn. (more…)

Reflection & Action: Attention over-extended, over-achievers.

Yeah, you! If you’re the one with the endless list of things to do. The one who always volunteers for that last minute job, chairs the committees, works the extra shifts, hauls the kids, hosts the socials, and generally goes the extra mile!

Yeah, you! If you’re the one who puts yourself at the bottom of those lists in invisible ink. The one who makes sure everybody else leaves on time, remembers their vitamins, books their vacations, and gets those pats on the back.

Might you be feeling just a tad overwhelmed by all you’ve undertaken or a tad under-valued from being taken for granted?

Well, stop right there! It’s time for a glance in the mirror and a heart to heart chat!

Whether you realize it or not, you matter! And not just because of all you do in support of those around you. You matter simply because you are who you are and you’re here. And, by the way, in case you missed the memo – you are enough!

Whether you hear it from others or not – you do make a difference in the lives of those around you. Just don’t be making that contribution from a feeling of lack, an overactive sense of duty, nor at the expense of your own wellbeing! Take care of you, too! Take time to be with you, too.

What to do with this reminder? (more…)

Reflection & Action: Several times over the years, I’ve created lists of things I might like to Do, Be and Have. The current lingo would label it a Vision Board (thank you, Oprah) or a Bucket List (thank you, Jack Nicholson). No matter what you call it, the exercise creates a set of intentions and desires for the future.

What was of interest to me on a recent round of inquiry was what showed up in the ‘What I’d Like To Have’ column. In my earlier days, I found it easy to come up with a lengthy list of possessions that I imagined might somehow make my life better.

However, on this particular day, the very first entry – top of the list – popped out without hesitation. What would I most like to have? Less stuff!

The idea of more stuff has less and less appeal. I’ve taken that insight to heart and I’m sifting stuff, ditching junk, and clearing space.

Old magazines. Gone! Outdated software disks and manuals. Gone! Home decorations that have lost their appeal. Gone! That mountain of cardboard boxes saved just in case they might be needed. Gone!

The garbage bin is brimming and the recycling bin is bursting. The Salvation Army Thrift Shop folks were beaming with my first delivery of six boxes and a suitcase full of stuff.

Are you looking to lighten up? (more…)

Reflection & Action If you’re reading this on Wednesday morning, you still have time to make a date for lunch. Why do I mention it? Because it turns out that an astounding number of folks are eating Al Desko and not Al Fresko.

A recent poll found that 60 percent of workers eat lunch at their desks every day, while two thirds take less than half their entitled lunch hour. A quick math check shows those people are working (or at least sitting in front of their computers) an extra 128 hours (or 16 eight hour days) a year.

We’re discovering more all the time about the physical risks of too much sitting and too much desk time. When we closet ourselves away – brain glued to screen and bum to chair – we end up numb on both ends.

Move around mid-day and you clear out the mental cobwebs and top the energy tank. You’ll return to your afternoon tasks with a fresh mind and body.

What’s keeping us glued to our chairs? (more…)