Overload & Overwhelm

REFLECTION: Welcome back, everybody. The holidays are now behind us; and, on reflection, I realized a thing or two about a very helpful practice known as savoring.

I now know why, on Christmas Eve, my grandson is so eager for Santa’s arrival that he can barely contain himself. I now know why my mother’s Christmas gifts sit at her feet unopened while she watches the rest of us rip into our parcels. I now know why I leave the Christmas tree lit up for an extra week after the new year has arrived.

It’s because we’re all, in our own ways, savoring the experience: the anticipation of magic, the excitement of watching a recipient’s face light up in delight, the soft glow of the lights against the January darkness.

Research by positive psychologist, Dr Fred Bryant, shows that those who regularly and frequently savor are happier and more satisfied with life in general. They are more optimistic; and they are less depressed. Who wouldn’t want that?

Savoring is about marveling, basking, admiring, appreciating, and luxuriating. It’s about paying attention, tuning in, soaking it up.  Savoring is emphatically not about multitasking, rushing, hurrying, and speeding on to the next. (more…)

Feeling squeezed by the pressures of this crazymaking world of ours? Unless you’re in the end stages of childbirth (a rare occurrence for most of us), don’t simply bear down and push harder. In everyday experience, that leads directly to crash ‘n’ burn or blur ‘n’ endure.

If you want better outcomes, make better choices. Stop overloading and start rightloading your life.

Here are five ways to move in a more positive direction for the year ahead:

1. Shift how you carry the load. Step away from your work and responsibilities every 90 minutes or so to do something renewing. See frequent pauses as an investment in being able to continue – not a reward for being done.
2. Watch how you define the load. Stop creating discretionary burdens. When you don’t know how something will turn out (and we rarely do), assume the best. Refuse to wallow in worry. See meltdowns as optional – not inevitable.
3. Learn to control the load. Negotiate expectations – speak up about overloading, multi-loading and perpetual loading. Monitor the place of technology in your life. Set your own rules for when you are connected and unplugged.
4. Make time to celebrate the load. Relationships and opportunities come with demands and expectations; they also deliver rewards.  Some things that we complain we ‘have to do’ we are actually lucky we ‘get to do’. Give an unreserved ‘Yes’ to invitations that will enrich your life.
5. Put speed in its place. A fast answer is not necessarily a good answer. Every request is not an emergency. There’s no need to constantly pepper our conversations with the word, quick: a quick word, a quick trip, a quick lunch, a quick visit. Conversations, lunches and connections are all legitimate uses of time.

Calm down. Slow down. Take it easy.  Press pause…think again!

PS – For more helpful action-prompting suggestions on this theme, get yourself a copy of my latest book (Press Pause…Think Again) and nab a copy or two for others who share your dilemma. Start a Press Pause support team and create a more sane and satisfying environment in the year ahead. Happy New Year!

In a world awash with media headlines, advertising slogans, bumper stickers, FB status updates, Tweets, and abbreviated OMG emoticons, it’s a wonder that complete thoughts still mean as much as they do.

If reader response to my ‘Quote of the Week’ section is any indicator, we continue to experience pithy ideas uttered or written by others as an opportunity to pause and ponder.

Earlier this month, I turned the tables, asking Pause readers to share their favorite quotes on balance and perspective with me. They did not disappoint.

And so, as promised, I share this contributed collection of inspiration – this bricolage – of words of meaning. A bricolage – my new favorite word – is something that is made or put together with whatever materials happen to be available. That’s a pretty apt description of all those quotes and phrases that hang on our refrigerators or bulletin boards, frame our computer screens, and adorn the tail end of our email messages.

I’ve chosen a baker’s dozen to share in the body of this e-zine. And, this link will take you to the complete collection of contributions. (Where sources were provided I’ve included them with the quotes.)

Thanks to all of you who took the time to dip into your collections and share your favs with the rest of us.

This will be my last Pause message of the year. I’m taking the week between Christmas and New Year’s to pause, relax and celebrate with family.

I’ll be devoting the first week of the New Year to a couple of specific creative projects. And, so, your first Pause e-zine of 2012 will appear in your In Box on January 11.

In the meantime, I wish you and yours the very best of the season – a time of warmth and fellowship. May you gather close and set aside your lists of things to do while you experience and remember what matters most in this wild and woolly world of ours. Peace, love, joy, hope and pause to you all.

PS – Here’s a link to our 2011 Katz Family Photo Review, if you care to take a peak.

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A Bricolage Of Inspiration

Via Alvina F:

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

Via Mo K:

Live so that they won’t have to lie at your funeral.

To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better. – Victor Hugo

Via Dawn M:

The world is wide, and I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. – Frances Willard

Via Cheryl W:

I can’t be happy every day, but at least I can be cheerful !

Via Stacy M:

Patience in the present, faith in the future, and joy in the doing. – George Perera

Via Lou M:

Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic. I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired. – Susan McHenry

Via Sherrill M:

I believe that for each of us, the presence of our being is the greatest gift we can give. Truly accepting and loving ourselves has a ripple effect beyond comprehension. – Courtney Milne

Via Susan E:

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.

Via Allan P:

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Via Janice T:

You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.

Via Debbie W:

Have a wonderful festive season and may your gifts of togetherness with family and friends be wrapped up with ribbons and bows!

Once again, here is the link to the complete collection of contributions .  Enjoy!

REFLECTION: Are you connected? In this social media world of ours, that question usually refers to whether or not you have a Facebook account, a Twitter feed or a Linked In profile. Although I do have all three of those, I occasionally find myself conflicted about their value in my life.

What I note is that the relationships that seem to mean the most in my world are those cultivated not just through electronic postings but by engaging in meaningful conversations, sharing social experiences, working together on projects, or spending real time/face time in each other’s lives.

In fact, I’ve noticed that spending too much time on social media sites like Facebook can actually have a negative impact on my happiness and well-being. The constant shifts in topic and direction leave me with mental whiplash. As I read about the exciting events and activities in the lives of others, I do feel happy for them; and then occasionally my thoughts shift from celebration to a state of comparison where, not infrequently, my life – as satisfying as it often is – seems to come up short. What’s more, tracking the ‘breaking social news’ keeps me from putting in real time on real goals, real projects, and real relationships of my own.

I think that’s why when I was introduced to Sonja Lyubomirsky’s list of 12 Things Happy People Do Differently, number three grabbed my attention.  It reads: Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. Lyubomirsky advises if you feel called to compare yourself to something or someone else, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself. That way you will credit yourself for the hard work YOU’VE done and the progress YOU’VE made. (more…)

REFLECTION: It took a while to scan the listing of special events in Saturday’s entertainment column of our local newspaper. Five minutes later my head was spinning!

The first weekend of December offered a veritable frenzy of theatre productions, band concerts, choir performances, art and craft bazaars, light tours … and the list went on.  They’re all good things of course. The question is how much room is there in our lives for even the best of things?

The weeks leading up to Christmas, Hannukah and other end of year celebrations are a welcome time of entertainment and celebration – reconnecting with friends and family and remembering the reason for the season. It’s a time when it’s way too easy to overeat and overspend. And it’s equally easy to overbook – loading up the calendar so heavily that even good things end up feeling like one more thing we must squeeze in.

ACTION: Here’s an approach that can help to keep the season light. (more…)

REFLECTION: What do you care most about in your workplace? And what are the chances it might be the same things that others care about?

This is a question endlessly researched by organizations everywhere as they do their best to keep their people happy.

Results from a survey released in October of this year by Mercer, one of the world’s leading HR consulting firms, tell a familiar story about what motivates Canadian and US workers and helps them feel more engaged at work.

Drum roll, please. In order of importance, employees are affected by:

1. Being treated with respect
2. Work-life balance
3. Type of work they do
4. Quality of people they work with
5. Quality of leadership in the organization

Although the results may not be surprising, what is surprising is that measures of what’s most important continues to remain similar even in the face of economic downturns and challenges.

ACTION: So what do these results suggest about the way we treat each other in our organizations? (more…)

REFLECTION: There’s a first time for everything. It’s a trite but true saying that packs a lot of impact.

I was thinking about that idea this week as I prepared to deliver a session on appreciation and encouragement for a group of corporate trainers.

To an experienced presenter, another day in the seminar room might be experienced as ‘business as usual’. However, for some of the first time learners, being in a classroom may be far from their everyday experience. Although a change of pace and a chance to learn something new may be exciting for them, it may also feel risky. And if their past experiences in learning settings were not exactly supportive (like long division trauma at the Grade Five chalkboard), they may be worried about whether they will measure up, be embarrassed, or even be able to understand what’s going on.

Think back to a few of your own experiences along the way: starting grade one, first day of high school, beginning a brand new job. Although you may have been all smiles on the outside, chances are good there was a major case of nerves brewing on the inside.

It’s not just education that delivers the first time jitters. Healthcare:  first time you undergo surgery.  Finance: first time you sign your name for a major loan or a mortgage. Parenting: first time you realize this helpless creature is entirely dependent on you.

Here’s where I’m going with this. (more…)

REFLECTION: Over the years, I’ve developed a habit that helps me focus on what matters most. Each week, I sit down for ten minutes late Sunday or early Monday, and build my list of priorities in four areas: Work, Home&Family, Community, and Personal. This is not an exhaustive collection of calls, errands, and follow-ups. I leave those bits and pieces to an electronic calendar. It is a specific list of projects and major/minor tasks that I hope to focus on and advance over the next seven days.

Sometimes a landslide of unexpected issues come up and hijack what I’d planned. In those instances, the list from one week to another looks nearly identical. Other times, like this Monday, when I reviewed last week’s Priority List, I was amazed at how many things I’d accomplished. And, I was delighted by how good that felt.

In that instant, I was reminded in a very personal and experiential way of the powerful impact of progress.

On this point, two Harvard researchers have recently confirmed what we instinctively hold to be true. It feels good to move things forward.

In their research, Amabile and Kramer discovered that when people consistently take steps forward – even small steps – on meaningful projects, they are more creative, productive, and engaged. This, in turn, has a positive influence on their work performance.

A & K refer to this phenomenon as the progress loop. It’s a cycle that has self-reinforcing benefits. Make progress on tasks, and you feel better about yourself. Feel better about yourself, and you’re more likely to make positive progress on tasks. And so it goes.

ACTION: What does this mean for our lives at work and at home? (more…)

REFLECTION: I’ve just returned from the 15th Annual Health Work and Wellness Conference in Toronto. Over the years, I’ve attended five of these conferences; and it’s been interesting to watch the shift in focus over time. Initially the conversation was mostly about physical wellness – helping employees become more physically fit through increased exercise, healthier eating, and addressing risk factors for diabetes and heart disease.

This year, much of the conference focused on initiatives in the area of psychological safety. This moves us firmly into the arenas of mental and emotional health. These areas are harder to measure (and tougher to talk about), but they are every bit as important to productive workplaces as an emphasis on healthy bodies.

What we’re talking about here is creating a workplace culture that is respectful and civil – one in which people are responsible not just for their contributions to profits or corporate goals, but equally accountable for the impact of their everyday behaviour on others. Metaphorical hard hats and flak vests are rarely required. Leaders don’t carelessly overload employees, burning them out in the pursuit of corporate success. Berating, browbeating and bullying are not tolerated.

ACTION: Researcher, Martin Shain, recommends organizations concentrate on three approaches to create more psychologically safe workplaces:

1. Set reasonable and clear demands. Don’t blindly delegate work and raise expectations without attending to the impact of those new directions.

2. Make it safe for employees to speak up. Develop skills throughout the organization in raising concerns, asking questions, and listening with care.

3. Be vigilant about challenging even minor acts of incivility. Create a culture of courage – one in which people stand up for themselves and defend each other in the face of disrespectful comments or actions.

How does your workplace measure up on each of these elements? How might you and your colleagues strengthen an area where your culture falls short of the ideal?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” – World Health Organization, 1948

Or  you might prefer a more succinct version from Author Unknown:  “Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy.”

RESOURCE OF THE WEEK: Looking for more specific tactics on setting the tone for a mentally healthy culture? Check out this section of the Great West Life Resource Centre for Mental Health.  You’ll find suggestions for building: credibility, respect, fairness, pride and camaraderie in the workplace.

READERS WRITE: In response to a recent e-zine message on ‘Energy Issues‘ Pause reader JM writes:  I work with people on low-income who lead highly emotionally stressful lives. Frequently they have developed a lifelong habit of being consumed by their barriers, and it keeps them in a chronically hopeless, lethargic state. I have often encouraged them to consider getting involved in a volunteer activity, a new hobby, or even a new habit like walking the kids to school or walking to the grocery store, just to take a break from their ‘lives’.  I know that once they get involved in something else, they will begin to see hope and find the courage to move beyond their current situation. But many cannot even see that this is possible. Your quote for this week reminds me that I should keep encouraging them to think about it. Thanks!! (“The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.” – Norman Vincent Peale )

REFLECTION: The evidence is in, and it’s decisive.

* When employees take part in corporate sponsored fitness programming absenteeism and turnover are reduced.

* Every dollar invested in wellness initiatives creates significant returns through reduced staff turnover, gains in productivity gains and a drop in medical claims.

* Informal breaks cut down on mental strain and increase feelings of well-being. Micro breaks maintain or increase productivity.

Integrating renewing, re-energizing breaks into busy workdays creates major returns on multiple fronts – not just for employee wellness and engagement but also for organizational productivity and profitability.

The business case has been well established over the last decade and continues to grow in strength. I’m attending the National Health Work and Wellness Conference this week in Toronto, and will be sharing more of the most recent findings with you in future messages.

ACTION: So what does this mean for you and your organization? (more…)