PAUSE – 10.13 – A Different Kind of R&R
April 14, 2010
REFLECTION:
I recently hosted a play day for two nieces and my grandson. The weather was great, so much of the day was spent exploring the springtime treasures of the backyard. There were twigs to gather, ladybugs to catch, and birds’ nests to investigate. I hung the hammock, and they took turns giving each other rides and picking each other up off the ground.
Eventually attention turned to the fish pond. The threesome was delighted to discover twigs and leaves afloat – and mortified to discover 3 dead goldfish amongst the debris. Fish of a significant size, I might add. One 5 inches long and the others each 3 inches in length.
Reactions were varied. The three year old wanted to know how to make them swim again. (Ignorance is bliss, and hope springs eternal in the mind of an innocent.) The seven year old was highly engaged by the mechanics of the recovery operation (twigs, nets, airlifts, plastic bags). The ten year old fired accusing glances and words my way, “How could you leave them to freeze, Aunt Pat? You have to tell them how sorry you are!”
I was, I admit, filled with R & R – remorse and regret. I’d spent several hours one cold day last October scooping fish out of the pond and moving them into the basement tubs for the winter. I thought we had 15 fish, and I harvested that number. Apparently, they’d multiplied.
In my defense, the three spring floaters were all grey and silver in color – tough to sight in the murky waters – unlike their bright orange and white kin that are much easier to find. And, in October I had gone back out to the pond several times after the water had stilled again, to see if there were any fish that had been left behind. But in the end, I was responsible for their demise. It was a sad moment all round.
ACTION:
I’m assuming that you, too, have perhaps experienced an ‘oops’ moment or two in your own life. Many, of course, will be far more significant than the loss of the lives of three small fish.
One of the challenges to avoid in moments of error is that of getting bogged down in remorse and recriminations. Should have. Could have. If only.
In the end, the best lesson in how to handle these experiences came from the three year old. He paid attention to what was happening. He expressed concern about the situation. He wondered how or whether it might be fixed. And, then, assured that nothing could be done except try to do better next time, he picked up a fresh stick and ambled off in new directions. I’m following his lead.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Draw a line. Step over it. Move on.” – Rambling Dave Scharf
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Check out this article on Dealing With Your Biggest Regret at: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/Dealing-With-Your-Biggest-Regret–/1055503
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, ‘Making Your Mark’, Pause reader KE writes: “This is a great newsletter today, Pat. And the thing that struck me the most about it is your ability to notice – really notice – what is happening in an everyday moment, and ponder the wider message / broader learning / or life lesson. You have a real gift for seeing things in a different way.”
REFLECTION: I recently hosted a play day for two nieces and my grandson. The weather was great, so much of the day was spent exploring the springtime treasures of the backyard. There were twigs to gather, ladybugs to catch, and birds’ nests to investigate. I hung the hammock, and they took turns giving each other rides and picking each other up off the ground.
Eventually attention turned to the fish pond. The threesome was delighted to discover twigs and leaves afloat – and mortified to discover 3 dead goldfish amongst the debris. Fish of a significant size, I might add. One 5 inches long and the others each 3 inches in length.
Reactions were varied. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.12 – Making Your Mark
April 7, 2010
REFLECTION:
I paused on this morning’s riverbank walk for a moment to perch on a frost covered bench and soak up a bit of sunshine. When I arose I (or at least my jacket) had soaked up more than the sunshine. Frost be gone! That spot on the bench was white no more.
I found myself wondering, “Could making your mark on the world really be that easy?”
So often we look at impacting the world around us as tricky, time consuming, and complicated. Having an impact is seen as something to be planned, pursued and executed with ferocity and intensity.
Well, maybe there are more ease-filled options in front of us or around us all the time. In our haste to push through and carry on, we may miss the opportunity completely.
ACTION:
What frosty situations are you facing? Strained relationships? Tangled problems? Off-track projects? Commitment overload?
What might actually be resolved, if you simply paused for a moment? Sat down solo to rest your burden and consider your options – or sat informally with someone else for a relaxed conversation about the issue at hand?
Sometimes the natural warmth of connection and the relaxed energy of presence thaws the iciest situations. You may discover inherent bench strength you haven’t even begun to tap.
Give yourself the gift of a moment. Sit. Relax. Pause. Ponder. Thaw out a problem or two. Carry on your way.
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” – George Bernard Shaw
“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” – Roger Babson
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I learned many important lessons about the impact of pause by participating in regular Balance Days with two of my friends and colleagues. For ten years, the three of us met at the turn of the seasons and invested a few hours or a full day in reflection and renewal. The experience taught us a lot about presence and ease and their positive impact on our lives.
You’ll find the story of our experience and a process for creating your own Balance Day triad experience in the Balance Day Guide & Journal, now available for purchase from the Pause Shop in electronic pdf download format. Check it out at: http://www.pauseworks.com/shop/publications.php#balance
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, The Acceleration Trap, Pause reader JK writes: Your message today was very timely. Here are a couple of side effects of overload on an organization that were not mentioned in your article. I have experienced these first-hand.
Rapid change means insufficient time to communicate changes to employees. Lack of communication creates an atmosphere where rumors become the source of (mis)information. This leads to a drop in morale.
How can employees be expected to maintain high levels of performance when change is happening so fast they don’t have time to adapt? This is happening more and more in all industries. Maybe, everyone – including the organization- needs to slow down.
REFLECTION: I paused on this morning’s riverbank walk for a moment to perch on a frost covered bench and soak up a bit of sunshine. When I arose I (or at least my jacket) had soaked up more than the sunshine. Frost be gone! That spot on the bench was white no more.
I found myself wondering, “Could making your mark on the world really be that easy?”
So often we look at impacting the world around us as tricky, time consuming, and complicated. Having an impact is seen as something to be planned, pursued and executed with ferocity and intensity.
Well, maybe there are more ease-filled options in front of us or around us all the time. In our haste to push through and carry on, we may miss the opportunity completely. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.08 – Pick & Go
March 10, 2010
REFLECTION:
I’m just coming in for a landing after several lively weeks that have included a demanding level of program delivery, significant travel, and more than a few family events and commitments.
During busy times, I find it relatively easy to focus. The priority tasks are clear – from preparing for the next day’s seminar, to packing for following day’s business trip, to finding a gift in time for a birthday party.
However, when pressing urgencies recede, the tenor of the day shifts. On one hand, I’m thankful for the pause and sense of freedom that comes with a more open schedule. There’s a greater ease when I’m working with instead of against the clock.
Still, in that expanded sense of time, I find my intentions lean to the ambitious. Ah, I promise myself, now I’ll have time for this and that and this and that – items that have been lingering on the back burner, hoping for some attention.
At the same time, distractions abound. Because there isn’t a pressing urgency demanding my attention, I am more easily lured by life’s flotsam and jetsam. And that, in itself, can be overwhelming.
Case in point. This morning my To Do list notes that these items await my attention: write a Pause e-zine, invoice and clean up from the last couple of weeks of programs, follow up with clients on pending holds.
And yet, so far, I’ve watered the plants, refilled my coffee three times, checked email about as often, dropped in to Facebook and cleared the spam comments from my Blog. None of these activities are part of my plan. They don’t even offer much by way of renewal or significance.
ACTION:
So how to sidestep the distractions and get on track? My most consistently successful strategy is simply to choose one thing and start.
In today’s instance, it has been crafting this week’s Pause e-zine. Once started on the task, the focus seems to follow.
So, if and when you find yourself floundering and frittering, check your list, then pick and go. It’s as if the simple act of beginning sends a message to the distractions saying, “Get out of here, or talk amongst yourselves!”
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.” – Robert Brault
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Revving up or calming down? From Zen Habits, one article for each state. Read according to your need.
http://zenhabits.net/2008/01/30-things-to-do-to-keep-from-getting-bored-out-of-your-skull-at-work/
http://zenhabits.net/2008/02/17-unbeatable-ways-to-create-a-peaceful-relaxed-workday/
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READERS WRITE:
Re last week’s Pause message on Goofs & Guffaws, reader KE writes: “I completely agree. Demonstrating an ability to laugh at themselves – on a world stage no less – was a powerful message from the Olympic organizers. There were so many great stories and lessons from these Olympics – lots of reasons to be inspired and examples to help the rest of us mortals put things into perspective. May our glowing hearts remain so for a long time to come.”
REFLECTION: I’m just coming in for a landing after several lively weeks that have included a demanding level of program delivery, significant travel, and more than a few family events and commitments.
During busy times, I find it relatively easy to focus. The priority tasks are clear – from preparing for the next day’s seminar, to packing for following day’s business trip, to finding a gift in time for a birthday party.
However, when pressing urgencies recede, the tenor of the day shifts. On one hand, I’m thankful for the pause and sense of freedom that comes with a more open schedule. There’s a greater ease when I’m working with instead of against the clock.
Still, in that expanded sense of time, I find my intentions lean to the ambitious. Ah, I promise myself, now I’ll have time for this and that and this and that – items that have been lingering on the back burner, hoping for some attention.
At the same time, distractions abound. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.07 – From Goofs To Guffaws
March 4, 2010
=====================================================
PAUSE – The Voice of Sanity In A Speed Crazed World
Volume 10, Number 7 – March 3, 2010
© Patricia Katz, Optimus Consulting
=====================================================
Make someone’s day … send this their way 🙂
REFLECTION:
Unless you’ve been locked in a coma or a media free retreat, you’ll know that over the last two weeks, Canada played host to the 21 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. If you tuned in at all, you may have caught the broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies. And, if you stuck with the program until the end you will also know that the Opening Ceremony ended with more of a grand fizzle than a grand finale.
Because of an equipment goof up, only 3 of the 4 supports for the cauldron lifted into position. As a result, only 3 of the 4 high-level athletes who were to torch the cauldron to life, got to do their thing. It was embarrassing for the organizing committee and all just a bit awkward for Canada. People looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and wondered whether ‘almost but not quite’ was destined to become the tenor of the Games.
Fast forward two weeks to the opening moments of the Closing Ceremony. The 3 armed cauldron sits in the middle of the stadium. The 4th arm is coaxed to life through the actions of a Mime who jumpstarts the lifting of the arm by apologetically plugging it into a giant extension cord. Catriona LeMay Doan, the 4th athlete appears on the scene to – finally – take her turn at lighting the flame.
The spoof is hilarious. In one fell swoop, the organizers sweep away any residues of embarrassment about the opening night malfunction. They shine a spotlight on the failure, make fun of themselves in the process, and create the opportunity to set things right.
ACTION:
What a lesson they gave the world in how to use a sense of humor to deal with situations that go sideways.
Their formula for moving from goof to guffaw looked like this:
1. Own the error.
2. Put it in perspective. (Laugh don’t cry)
3. Make amends.
4. Carry on.
I don’t know about you. But the next time I fall flat in one effort or another (and I’m sure I will), I’m going to keep this approach in mind.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“That’s not serious; it’s just human.” – Jerry Kopke.
“One cannot too soon forget his errors and misdemeanors; for to dwell upon them is to add to the offense.” – Henry David Thoreau
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
If you are in the mood for a few more chuckles, drop in to the Questionable Translations and Church Bulletin Goofs sections on this site: http://www.jmhare.com/funny_stuff/goodies.htm
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the earlier Pause message, Meltdowns Optional, reader MD writes: “Just dealt with a seven year old’s meltdown before school this morning. Your notes continue to remind me to relax and respond appropriately (something I didn’t do today). Thanks for my reminder…AGAIN.”
REFLECTION: Unless you’ve been locked in a coma or a media free retreat, you’ll know that over the last two weeks, Canada played host to the 21 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. If you tuned in at all, you may have caught the broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies. And, if you stuck with the program until the end you will also know that the Opening Ceremony ended with more of a grand fizzle than a grand finale.
Because of an equipment goof up, only 3 of the 4 supports for the cauldron lifted into position. As a result, only 3 of the 4 high-level athletes who were to torch the cauldron to life, got to do their thing. It was embarrassing for the organizing committee and all just a bit awkward for Canada. People looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and wondered whether ‘almost but not quite’ was destined to become the tenor of the Games.
Fast forward two weeks to the opening moments of the Closing Ceremony. (more…)
PAUSE -10.04- Valentine Reflections
February 12, 2010
REFLECTION:
As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. In the Readers’ Write section of today’s message, you’ll find a link to a collection of Pause Reader relationship advice.
Many of you also asked me to pretty up the Ten Lessons List a bit so you could: post it on your fridge, tack it to your bulletin board, share it with your partner, or tuck it into wedding gifts for other couples just starting out.
My Valentine’s gift to you is a formatted poster style version of those Lessons Learned. You’ll find a link to a printable pdf below in the Resource Of The Week. Enjoy and share as you wish.
ACTION:
Relationships are such an important part of life. Pause this week to appreciate those friends, partners, colleagues and family members who contribute so much to your life. If you haven’t done so recently, take a moment to let them know how much they mean to you.
I guarantee it will be time well spent. You’ll never regret making the time to let someone know you care. You may, however, regret letting the busy-ness of life force aside your best intentions to speak up.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” – Author Unknown
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Link to the Lessons Learned poster: http://www.pauseworks.com/library/articles/loves_lessons_learned.pdf
REFLECTION: As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. (more…)
PAUSE -10.04- Valentine Reflections
February 12, 2010
REFLECTION:
As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. In the Readers’ Write section of today’s message, you’ll find a link to a collection of Pause Reader relationship advice.
Many of you also asked me to pretty up the Ten Lessons List a bit so you could: post it on your fridge, tack it to your bulletin board, share it with your partner, or tuck it into wedding gifts for other couples just starting out.
My Valentine’s gift to you is a formatted poster style version of those Lessons Learned. You’ll find a link to a printable pdf below in the Resource Of The Week. Enjoy and share as you wish.
ACTION:
Relationships are such an important part of life. Pause this week to appreciate those friends, partners, colleagues and family members who contribute so much to your life. If you haven’t done so recently, take a moment to let them know how much they mean to you.
I guarantee it will be time well spent. You’ll never regret making the time to let someone know you care. You may, however, regret letting the busy-ness of life force aside your best intentions to speak up.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” – Author Unknown
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Link to the Lessons Learned poster: http://www.pauseworks.com/library/articles/loves_lessons_learned.pdf
REFLECTION: As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. (more…)
Mind’s Eye Snapshots
January 30, 2010
Some of the best moments of any vacation are those in which you don’t have camera at hand to capture the image. Thank goodness the mind’s eye works.
Here are some of my favorite mental snaps so far:
– the moment when we met up with Tristan and Marc in Fort Lauderdale, exchanged hugs, and the vacation really began
– diving into the warm ocean waters at Half Moon Cay and wading out with seaweed in my hair
– stretched out on the netting at the front of the catamaran floating and flying above the Caribbean Sea
– spotting a dinner plate sized blue and gold discus type fish while snorkelling off Aruba
– the exhilaration of that first traverse on a zip line soaring over the rain forest canopy in Costa Rica
Ah, sweet adventures!
PAUSE -10.03- Meltdowns Optional
January 20, 2010
REFLECTION:
One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call.
Initially, I did not respond that well. Although the new baby is, of course, under warranty and the repairs will be made at no additional cost, we had invested a significant amount of time in the system transfer and set up. It appeared that investment would be time and energy down the drain.
When the breakdown occurred, I found myself flipping into R&R mode: Regret and Recriminations. Should have done X! Could have done Y! Why didn’t we try Z? Why did this happen to me? All pointless machinations, of course, and an even more colossal waste of energy.
ACTION:
The good news is that I didn’t stay stuck in letdown limbo for long. Somehow reason prevailed. I was able to remind myself that just because my computer had a meltdown, it didn’t mean that I had to follow suit.
When life’s experiences go sideways, here’s a formula for a healthy response with relative time frames:
Accept reality – 30 minutes
Rant, rave, wail & gnash teeth – 30 seconds
Review options – 30 minutes
Choose action – 30 seconds
Get on with it – Pronto!
* Actual time approximate – but proportions accurate. If you get my drift!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Just because your computer (microwave, car, firstborn, fill in your nemesis here: _____) has a meltdown, it didn’t mean that you have to follow suit.” – Yours Truly
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I’ve long been a fan of Loretta LaRoche and her zany take on life’s stressors. I recently enjoyed dipping into her latest offering: “Juicy Living, Juicy Aging – Kick Up Your Heels … Before You’re Too Short To Wear Them”. Hay House, 2007.
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the recent e-zine on ‘Saying Yes’, Pause reader JO writes: I enjoyed the newsletter that commented on saying yes and saying no. Many of us who are customer centric often say yes first. It can be the automatic response that comes from a sincere desire to help. Always saying yes can however lead to too much on the plate!
A few years ago when I was recovering from some surgery and coming back to work full time, it was very important for me to set boundaries. The counsellor I was working with suggested that I give myself time to reflect on requests. It was important that I measure my energy at various parts of the day to see what my capabilities were.
This is the lesson I learned that I still use today. In response to a request, say maybe or I’ll consider this. That response gives me the pause time to reflect, and if I have to say no, or not at this time, it’s easier going.
REFLECTION: One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call. (more…)
More Than A Tweet
January 13, 2010
I facilitated a day long leader development session on Tuesday with about 20 people. We took a few breaks through the day – 2 minutes – 5 minutes – 10 minutes – whatever seemed appropriate at the time.
EVERY time I called a break, a good 80% of the attendees whipped out their phones to check God knows what! And having checked, most determined that their entire break should be devoted to tending the text and avoiding interaction with their peers in the room. No, they were not all introverts!
I felt very sad about the absence of what used to be an important part of educational sessions – a chance to network with others, find out what is on their minds, develop original thoughts. It makes me worry for our future in organizations. If we only know each other by the tops of our heads – and not through our eyes, or what’s on our minds – what investment will we really have in each other’s success or well-being?
And then, if I post this on my blog or Facebook or Linked In, will I find that others share the same concern, or, will I just be fueling our electronic addictions?
Yes or No?
January 11, 2010
Continuing the theme of the week – will it be yes or no? Here’s a Harvard Business Review guest blog by Alexandra Samuel titled, ‘This Year, Saying Yes to Saying No‘ .
Alexandra supports, as do I, thoughtfulness at the core of every decision.
