Freshly picked this morning from our front yard garden. Popped directly into a brandy snifter. Placed close at hand on my desk as I start my day. I know you can see it, but can you smell it? That sweet, musky rose colored scent of summer. Unbelievably delicious!
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Life in General
Sweet Smell Of Summer
July 27, 2010
Work & Play – Mixing It Up On The Road
July 25, 2010
PAUSE – 10.19 – Summer Reading
June 30, 2010
REFLECTION:
July is on our doorstep and summer awaits. One of the great joys of long, sunny summer days – especially when some of them are wide open ‘nothing planned’ vacation days – is the chance to curl up with a good book or two.
If you’re an everyday literary hunter and gatherer, you’ve probably got your supply on hand. They’re stacked up and backed up – hunkered down on that shelf in your office, loitering on the floor next to your living room chair, and languishing on your bedside table.
If, on the other hand, a trip to Chapters or a visit to Amazon are in your immediate future, I’d be glad to offer a couple of suggestions for recent books on life balance, focus and renewal that might spark your interest.
ACTION:
Pat’s recommended summer reading short-list to help you step back, take stock, and create an even more compelling and satisfying future includes:
* Do More Great Work – by Michael Bungay Stanier (Workman Publishing 2010). Lighthearted and meaty all at the same time. Lots of exercises to help you surface your preferences and map out a future of significance. Michael playfully challenges you to puzzle out answers to questions like these. What are you like at your best? What’s calling you? What’s broken? What’s possible?
* The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working – by Tony Schwartz (Simon & Schuster 2010). I’ve followed Tony’s work since he first authored The Power of Full Engagement a number of years ago. This new volume offers an air tight case for building in time and space for renewal – as individuals, teams and organizations. Grounded in research and tested by the organizations that have used and shaped his ideas, he offers practical suggestions (and compelling reasons) for making renewal a part of everyday personal and business life.
* Here are a couple of other books I’ve referenced in earlier Pause messages that are also definitely worth a read: ‘Find Your Focus Zone’ by Lucy Jo Palladino and ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There’ by Marshall Goldsmith. And, of course, if you haven’t already read it, I have to recommend ‘Press Pause…Press On’ by yours truly (Check Pauseworks Shop for details: http://www.pauseworks.com/shop/)
PS Does your summer reading taste run more to fictional escapes? If so, I recommend The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards. And although I have yet to read it, so can’t give you a personal recommendation, on the suggestion of a handful of friends I’ve packed Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen for my get away fiction reading. I’ll let you know what I think of it.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled “This could change your life.” – Helen Exley
It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. – Oscar Wilde
(Sheesh, Oscar – I really had to think about that one for a while!)
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Often worth exploring are Michael Bungay Stanier’s blog and website at: http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/
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READERS WRITE:
Last week’s Pause message, The Not So Classic BMW, generated quite a number of insightful replies from readers – too many to include here in the e-zine. I’ve posted a compilation of responses on my blog, so that you can explore them as well. Here’s the link to that post: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/?p=1206
REFLECTION: July is on our doorstep and summer awaits. One of the great joys of long, sunny summer days – especially when some of them are wide open ‘nothing planned’ vacation days – is the chance to curl up with a good book or two.
If you’re an everyday literary hunter and gatherer, you’ve probably got your supply on hand. They’re stacked up and backed up – hunkered down on that shelf in your office, loitering on the floor next to your living room chair, and languishing on your bedside table.
If, on the other hand, a trip to Chapters or a visit to Amazon are in your immediate future, I’d be glad to offer a couple of suggestions for recent books on life balance, focus and renewal that might spark your interest. (more…)
Reader Responses To ‘The Not So Classic BMW’
June 29, 2010
My recent Pause e-zine message, ‘The Not So Classic BMW’, generated quite a number of thoughtful replies from readers. Here are a few of their thoughts on dealing with BMW (Bitch, Moan, Whine) behaviours in the workplace.
LC writes: As an office manager, I have a role that is important to the owners as well as the employees and it can be a difficult tight rope on given days and in given circumstances. I can be guilty of the BMW as well as offering a shoulder for complaints. I preach the leave it outside and let’s make it happen, but don’t always find myself following my own wisdom.
LF writes: This is something that I believe in and try to do. If you don’t like something, do what you can to improve things. If you are not successful at least you can then complain with some credibility. If you are successful, you have one less thing that irritates you.
JG writes: I loved the BMW insight and practical tool. I am always looking at ways to create a more positive and productive work environment for people who tend to see things a bit negatively. Of course, what hit home was the first point – consider whether or not I am contributing to the very behaviors I try to discourage – good question. I think I can safely say, ” No,” consciously, but there is a bit of me that may actually be an unintentional accomplice. Great food for thought – I can use the 4 step process on myself first…. Thanks! (more…)
PAUSE – 10.17 – Getting Out There
June 16, 2010
REFLECTION:
It seems like weather everywhere has been pretty wonky so far this year. Here in Saskatchewan we’ve experienced record rainfalls. The dreary, grey cloud cover that delivers the daily driving rain has put a tangible damper on mood.
That changed as the last few days finally brought bright sunshine and warmer temperatures. There is a palpable shift in mind-set as people spend more time in motion and out of doors. Suddenly, the world seems brighter. Problems seem lighter.
Physical activity is a well known contributor to mental health. Moving around outdoors delivers an even greater bonus. There’s a whole world out there to engage in, nature’s beauty to appreciate, and a universe sized space that puts human size problems in perspective.
Getting out there gets us out there. It draws us out of our little corners of concern. It smooths away the mind ruts created by spinning around in our tiny circles of thought.
Our mothers were right when they told us to get out of the house – to go outside for awhile. Although it may have gotten us out from under their feet, it probably helped us find ours.
ACTION:
What would it take to get you outdoors today – and again tomorrow? And, I’m not talking about walking from the house to the vehicle and back again.
If you aren’t already doing so, look for those opportunities to take a few moments outside every day – even on days when it is too hot, too cool, too rainy, or too busy.
There are work-arounds for each of those obstacles. Too hot? Walk early or late. Too cool? Bundle up. Too rainy? Grab a poncho. Too busy? Combine a walk with a meeting or phone call.
Once you reap the benefits of getting yourself outdoors, you’ll wonder why you didn’t get out there sooner and more often.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” – Rachel Carson
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
See this article for examples of research on the positive impact of nature on connectedness and generosity: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33243959/ns/health-behavior/
REFLECTION: It seems like weather everywhere has been pretty wonky so far this year. Here in Saskatchewan we’ve experienced record rainfalls. The dreary, grey cloud cover that delivers the daily driving rain has put a tangible damper on mood.
That changed as the last few days finally brought bright sunshine and warmer temperatures. There is a palpable shift in mind-set as people spend more time in motion and out of doors. Suddenly, the world seems brighter. Problems seem lighter.
Physical activity is a well known contributor to mental health. Moving around outdoors delivers an even greater bonus. There’s a whole world out there to engage in, nature’s beauty to appreciate, and a universe sized space that puts human size problems in perspective. (more…)
Bad Hair Day?
June 10, 2010
Apparently Bad Hair Days are not just a North American phenomenon. At least, that’s what we can assume from the ‘cap-tion’ on this fellow’s head.
I noticed him catching a few ZZZ’s in the Marrakech airport when we arrived in Morocco. All in all, though – as you can see from the series of photos – he looked comfortably at ease and not too overly concerned about the state of his hair, or anything else for that matter. May we all take our ‘problems’ this lightly!
Multitasking Madness In Madrid
June 6, 2010
Let’s see. What’s wrong with this picture?
Pushing 50 kilos of cargo uphill single handedly
on a busy street in downtown Madrid.
As if that’s not enough, must take phone call right now!
PAUSE -10.15- Settle Down – Settle In
June 3, 2010
REFLECTION:
St James Independent, a boys’ school in London, starts each day with a formalized Pause. All 300 of the students gather in assembly to sit in silence, calm down and settle in for the day ahead. Now this is something I’d pay to see: 300 young boys sitting still for ten minutes – no talking, no fidgeting!
That’s not the only point of pause in the St James school day. Each class begins and ends with 30 seconds of silence – a chance for students to clear their minds and prepare for what comes next.
The headmaster of the school positions the practice as one of creating an oasis for learning and as an antidote to our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) way of being in the world – continuously plugged in and responding to outside stimulation.
ACTION:
What kind of practices have you already incorporated or could you start using more regularly to settle down and settle in for the everyday experiences of your life? It doesn’t have to be complicated.
* Sit down at your desk and sit back in your chair with eyes closed for a minute before diving in to your email, checking your to do list, or tackling the next task.
* Take a deep breath before answering the phone.
* Start a meeting with 30 seconds of silence. Give attendees a chance to shake off outside concerns and bring their attention to the room. Bodies may be in chairs, but minds may not be present.
Give these or other ideas a try and see what kind of presence and calm they bring to your day.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Quiet and stillness in our urban environments is a rare thing. Quiet and stillness in the human mind is even rarer.” – Ronski
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more on the St James approach, and other thoughts on pausing, silence and stillness, check out this BBC article at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8714177.stm
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, ‘Hold Lightly-Not Tightly’, Pause reader BT writes: I experience a similar pain when plans evaporate, as I am certainly one of those who creates expectations. The moment I realize that life’s events have led me away from plans, I feel disappointed, confused and angry at whatever I feel is responsible for the derailment.
I started telling myself “no plans – no disappointment”. But that just left me empty, as I lost the pleasure of the anticipation. I soon realized that, although I was not responsible for the change in events, I was responsible for the way I was feeling.
Life sometimes has a slightly different path planned for us; and we just have to realize we must steer in a slightly different direction. Hold Lightly – Not Tightly is now another tool I will use, along with always having a plan B in circumstances that hold a certain level of unpredictability. Thank you for adding to my life’s tool box.
REFLECTION: St James Independent, a boys’ school in London, starts each day with a formalized Pause. All 300 of the students gather in assembly to sit in silence, calm down and settle in for the day ahead. Now this is something I’d pay to see: 300 young boys sitting still for ten minutes – no talking, no fidgeting!
That’s not the only point of pause in the St James school day. Each class begins and ends with 30 seconds of silence – a chance for students to clear their minds and prepare for what comes next.
The headmaster of the school positions the practice as one of creating an oasis for learning and as an antidote to our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) way of being in the world – continuously plugged in and responding to outside stimulation. (more…)
Women of Distinction Award
May 28, 2010
Spent a lovely evening May 27th in the company of a group of amazing women and their supporters. I was delighted to be named the recipient of the YWCA Women of Distinction Award in Leadership & Management.
It’s an honor to take a turn in the spotlight. And, the best thing is that when a light is focused on any one of us, we all shine just a little bit brighter in the reflected glow of everyone’s stellar accomplishments.
Congratulations to all the nominees and recipients.
PAUSE -10.14- Hold Lightly – Not Tightly
May 26, 2010
REFLECTION:
Well, folks, it’s been six weeks since I signed off for a Pause sabbatical in anticipation of the Great Spring Travel Adventure. You’ll recall I was headed for Europe to spend a week taking a painting class in the Cotswolds, followed by two weeks with my husband in London and Paris, and a final two weeks with a painting group touring Portugal, Spain and Morocco.
Those of you who follow my blog or Facebook page will already know things didn’t quite unfold according to plan. It seems the Icelandic Volcano had other ideas in mind for me. The thick layer of volcanic ash clogging the flightpaths over Europe shut down air travel on the very day we were to leave for London. We rebooked our flights for 5 days later only to be cancelled again with the prospect of yet another 5 day wait before we could snag another set of seats – IF the airports were open.
By then I had missed the painting class completely, all our time in the UK would have evaporated, and Dave and I would be left with one short week together in Paris. So, we opted to cancel our shared portion of the trip in hopes of something more substantial at a later time, and I rebooked to fly directly to join the painting group in Lisbon.
Frankly, I did not take the change well. We had set plans for this adventure months earlier. It had taken a major investment of energy to work out the details and coordinate the connections. I was highly invested in anticipation and excitement.
Sure, there were consolations. We were alive and well. We were physically comfortable at home, not jammed into the corner of some airport waiting room with thousands of others halfway around the world. We were able to recoup most of our deposits or arrange credits on trip arrangements. Still, I had a terrible time shaking the black cloud over MY head.
Friends and family extended comfort and suggested there would be great lessons to harvest from the experience. Frankly, the most I could muster at the time was a succinct and acerbic, “Life sucks! Move on!”
ACTION:
Looking back on the experience from this end, I find that I do have a better perspective on the whole situation. In the scheme of possible life events a cancelled, postponed, or rearranged vacation rates pretty low on the list of things that could go wrong – certainly nowhere near disaster status. Of course, I knew that at the time – in my mind – but it still felt horribly disappointing in my gut.
The core problem with my reaction centered on my expectations. I had built up a huge head of steam in anticipation of things unfolding according to plan. The more tightly I held to those original expectations, the more pain I experienced as those plans evaporated into thin air – or in this case smoke and ash.
If there’s anything I’ve learned that might be a helpful mantra for all of us in those times when life heads sideways, it’s the idea of ‘Holding Lightly – Not Tightly.’
PS – I had a chance to test this approach on our scheduled return from Madrid to Frankfurt to Ottawa to Saskatoon. Bad weather in Frankfurt delayed our flight out of Madrid. By the time we lifted off the runway in Spain, our two and a half hour connection window in Frankfurt had narrowed to 30 minutes. A number of my travelling companions were distraught.
In my mind, I found myself reviewing the possibilities. It could be the flight from Frankfurt to Ottawa is also delayed and we have more time than we realize. Could be the airline holds the Ottawa flight for the 14 of us who are making connections. Could be we miss the connection completely and have to rebook. Any one of those things is just as likely to happen as another – and no matter which one it is, all will be well. Hold lightly – not tightly.
In fact we did miss our connection in Frankfurt. Lufthansa rebooked us for the next morning through Calgary to Saskatoon and provided hotel, meals and ground transfer for everyone. And yes, all was indeed well.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“When it hurts so bad, it’s because I am hanging on so tight.” – Pema Chodron
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I really found the ideas in this book by Pema Chodron helpful: “When Things Fall Apart – Heart Advice for Difficult Times”. If you find yourself hitting a rough patch or two, you might find Pema’s ideas speak to you, too.
Also, for any of you who are interested in catching a taste of my travels as they did unfold, you can check out the postings I made from Portugal, Spain and Morocco on my Pause Blog at: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/ Just click on the Travel category, and you’ll find all the most recent postings at the top of the list. Enjoy.
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the most recent message on R & R (Remorse & Regret), Pause reader LE writes: ” I am currently battling the issue of having mired myself in doing too much on a project. My resentment, I have realized, is that no one has stepped forward to “rescue” me. I am taking a serious look at my
own culpability in all of this, stepping back where it makes sense, drawing my line, sticking to it (the hardest part)…and moving on. Thanks for your wisdom.”
REFLECTION: Well, folks, it’s been six weeks since I signed off for a Pause sabbatical in anticipation of the Great Spring Travel Adventure. You’ll recall I was headed for Europe to spend a week taking a painting class in the Cotswolds, followed by two weeks with my husband in London and Paris, and a final two weeks with a painting group touring Portugal, Spain and Morocco.
Those of you who follow my blog or Facebook page will already know things didn’t quite unfold according to plan. It seems the Icelandic Volcano had other ideas in mind for me. The thick layer of volcanic ash clogging the flightpaths over Europe shut down air travel on the very day we were to leave for London. We rebooked our flights for 5 days later only to be cancelled again with the prospect of yet another 5 day wait before we could snag another set of seats – IF the airports were open.
By then I had missed the painting class completely, all our time in the UK would have evaporated, and Dave and I would be left with one short week together in Paris. So, we opted to cancel our shared portion of the trip in hopes of something more substantial at a later time, and I rebooked to fly directly to join the painting group in Lisbon.
Frankly, I did not take the change well. (more…)
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Patricia Katz
Optimus Consulting