Much ado has been made about the practice of ‘texting’ – trading instant messages as a way of keeping in touch with friends and family. Some love it. Others decry its lack of social grace.
Perhaps that’s why the concept of ‘sugaring’ caught my attention. It seems designed to smooth and sweeten the social interaction on the French cafe scene. As you will see from the photos, each wrapper that encircles a sugar cube bears a different message.
Most wrappers ask relationship oriented questions. Many feature check boxes for Yes and No answers. Others provide spaces to fill in the blanks with your answer.
Who knows? Perhaps the iCube might someday replace the iPhone as the connecting strategy of choice.
If your French is a bit shakey, here are my best efforts at translation:
Vous etes libre ce soir? Oui? Non? Are you free tonight? Yes? No?
Rendez-vous chez… Let’s meet at ….
Vous etes seul dans la vie? Oui? Non? Are you single? Yes? No?
Un autre cafe? Another cafe?
C’est toi qui invitez? Are you asking me?
Appelle moi au: Call me at:
PAUSE – 11.25 – Regrets – A Lost Cause !
May 17, 2011
REFLECTION: On our last morning in Paris, I step out on the narrow balcony of our hotel room for one last time to see what’s happening in the street. Directly across the way, an elderly lady in her nightgown tends her window box geraniums. Several floors below a nun heads down the street, hands extended in front of her, holding what appears to be a blackberry. On closer inspection, I see she has two thumbs firmly fixed on the open pages of her prayer book. She traces the words as she walks. Not a blackberry prayer at all – something else entirely!
A few moments later we’re riding the airport shuttle winding our way through the city to Charles de Gaulle. Near the Sorbonne, someone has placed a bright red traffic cone on the top of a statue turning an elegant aristocrat into a redheaded witch. I laugh out loud. A few blocks later, homeless man sits up in his makeshift bed on the street. With his left arm he flaps his trousers in the air (perhaps his version of doing the laundry). With a grimace and wild motions of his right arm, he wafts away the odor left in their wake. My heart pings.
At every turn, there are sights to take in and moments to note. I’m struck by how much easier it seems to stay tuned when you’ve stepped outside your everyday routine.
A day later, on my first morning back in Saskatoon, I find myself wide awake at 3:30 in the morning (near noon in Paris). (more…)
Euro Oddity Series – #3
May 17, 2011
There’s nothing unique or new about vending machines. They’ve been around for years. Here in North America we’re accustomed to using them for everyday purchases of soft drinks and snacks.
What can I say about a country where you can actually buy flowers from a vending machine?
This unit was located next to the ticket booth in a parkade in Avignon, France. The flowers were fresh and beautiful, too.
Talk about making it easy to pick up a bouquet for a special someone on your way home from work.
I love it! I’ll bet the recipients do, too!
Euro Oddity Series – #2
May 16, 2011
All through Provence in southern France you will find handcrafted santons offered for sale as art pieces and souvenirs. The word, ‘santon’ means ‘little saints’.
Originally, santons were figurines associated with the nativity scenes in a Provencal creche. Over time, the santons came to be associated with various characters typically found in most Provencal villages – the fishwife, the scissors grinder, the chestnut seller. the simpleton, the spinner, the basketmaker.
Many of these characters are featured in the Musee des Santons that we visited in the village of Les Baux de Provence. Our favorite characters were Grasso and Grassette (pictured here). G & G are an elderly couple who symbolize love and fidelity in spite of their old age and their daily squabbles.
Having been introduced to the concept of Grasso and Grassette, we saw them everywhere in real life on the streets. Chances are good, you’ll recognize the archetype in your part of the world, too – maybe even in your own family or circle of friends.
Euro Oddity Series – #1
May 15, 2011
Sadly, the iPad we traveled with during our four weeks in England and France made posting photos to my blog en route extremely difficult. So, posts have had to wait till our return.
Now that I’m back in Canada again, I’m going to be posting a few bits and bobs (Brit term, that) of interest from our trip: sights, signs, oddities, and observations. Nothing too serious! Expect a minor flurry over the next week. Hope you enjoy them.
For those of you who pride yourself as fashion forward folks, these jackets were featured in a London men’s wear store window in the Burlington Arcades just off Picadilly between Old Bond and Regent streets. I didn’t see any of these suits on guys on the street. And I’m pretty sure I would have noticed!
What I did notice is that harem pants are making a big comeback on the women’s fashion front! No, I did not pick up a pair myself!
PAUSE – 11.24 – How Bad Is It, Really?
April 12, 2011
REFLECTION:
41 years ago today (April 13, 1970), Jack Swigert, astronaut on the infamous Apollo 13 mission delivered five memorable words, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”, after an oxygen tank burst on their way to the Moon. In fact, Swigert’s actual words were: “OK, Houston. Hey, we’ve got a problem here.” But over the years and through the magic of editing, the phrase has been shortened for dramatic effect.
Once the discovery was made, and the problem identified, the Apollo mission quickly shifted from one of exploration (a third lunar landing) to survival (getting the crew back to earth alive). Imagine, however, if the flight crew and ground crew had all stayed stuck in their fear. What would have been the likelihood of a positive outcome?
It’s been years since the event itself, and it’s been years since I last saw the movie, Apollo 13. However, it’s been nowhere near that long since I witnessed someone getting severely bent out of shape about a life altering event or circumstance – myself included.
Problems come and problems go. Some of them are Apollo dramatic and truly life threatening. Others are simply minor blips on the old Stress-O-Meter Radar. The challenge is one of sifting the serious challenges from the minor irritations.
That’s where a degree of thoughtfulness comes into play. The next time you face a ‘Houston, we’ve got a problem’ challenge, check to see whether you are responding from fear or thoughtfulness.
Knee jerk, fear based reactions hang out in the amygdala – also referred to as our primitive lizard brain. It’s that part of the brain that creates and stores emotional memory, senses danger, and triggers the mind and body to high alert. If we only operate from states of high anxiety, chances are good we’re not accessing the clearest thinking part of our brain.
It’s a pretty strong likelihood that Chicken Little, he of ‘the sky is falling’ fable, was largely governed by his lizard brain – racing around in circles, freely distributing fear and anxiety, to all he met.
Fortunately, although we might share Chicken Little’s panicky response to a life event, we don’t need to stay stuck in our first reaction – hijacked by the amygdala. We do need to shift our attention to the neocortex – the part of the brain that’s better known for it’s analytical and reasoning abilities.
ACTION:
How then to leave the lizard behind and get a more thoughtful take on a challenging situation?
Try these actions:
– Name the fear at the center of your response. Take a closer look at its actual likelihood.
– Reach out to someone else whose point of view you respect to help you challenge your thinking.
– Tackle a first step – one small action or exploration in the direction of a solution. Let small wins propel you forward.
– Imagine a positive long-term outcome from the challenge at hand.
– Be thankful for all the other things that seem to be on track and have not gone sideways in your life.
A fresh perspective or two can go a long ways towards getting your feet back on solid ground.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello
_________________________
RESOURCES OF THE WEEK:
Check out this online article: Five Steps To Managing Your Lizard Brain: http://www.devacoaching.com/2010/07/20/5-steps-to-managing-your-lizard-brain/
I’m also remembering a children’s story book that was a favorite around our house on tough days: “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judith Viorst. Young Alexander learns that some days are like that – even in Australia. A fun read for old and young alike.
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message on Overwork: An Artful Life Perspective, these Pause readers write:
CH : Great advice as usual Pat. We are all artists in our own way – creating our special place in the world.
NC: Thanks for this thought provoking PAUSE . As a recovering perfectionist I found these points particularly poignant. As someone once told me, apply the KISS principal: Keep It Simple Sweetheart!
REFLECTION: 41 years ago today (April 13, 1970), Jack Swigert, astronaut on the infamous Apollo 13 mission delivered this memorable phrase, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”, after an oxygen tank burst on their way to the Moon. In fact, Swigert’s actual words were: “OK, Houston. Hey, we’ve got a problem here.” But over the years and through the magic of editing, the phrase has been shortened for dramatic effect.
Once the discovery was made, and the problem identified, the Apollo mission quickly shifted from one of exploration (a third lunar landing) to survival (getting the crew back to earth alive). Imagine, however, if the flight crew and ground crew had all stayed stuck in their fear. What would have been the likelihood of a positive outcome?
It’s been years since the event itself, and it’s been years since I last saw the movie, Apollo 13. However, it’s been nowhere near that long since I witnessed someone getting severely bent out of shape about a life altering event or circumstance – myself included.
Problems come and problems go. Some of them are Apollo dramatic and truly life threatening. Others are simply minor blips on the old Stress-O-Meter Radar. The challenge is one of sifting the serious challenges from the minor irritations. (more…)
PAUSE -11.23- Overwork: An Artful Life Perspective
April 5, 2011
REFLECTION:
An experienced artist recently shared a few thoughts about overworking in response to a question from a novice painter. Although, the conversation centered on the negative impact of overworking a piece of art, as the discussion unfolded, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between art and life.
The mentoring artist noted five causes of overwork:
– repeatedly going back over old ground rather than leaving well enough alone and moving on
– pushing for perfection – spending time and energy on final finishing touches that don’t add appreciable value
– forcing the work – letting impatience over-ride the flow of the paint, the brush or the pen
– overusing a well developed skill when it’s not even called for in the work of the moment
– getting caught up in the fine detail without stopping to step back for the long view and gaining perspective
ACTION:
It seems to me that we might take a page or two from the Old Masters and put them to work in our everyday work-lives.
When you find yourself challenged by overwork, take stock of these questions and see if they shift your behavior:
– Does the extra effort advance something important – or just cover old ground in another way?
– Is the task already done well enough to meet the basic needs? Would the extra 10% of effort be warranted in terms of the result?
– Mihgt you be pushing people and progress in ways that create unnecessary resistance?
– Could you be engaging in tasks just because you have polished the skill to do them – not because they’re the best use of your time at the moment, or required by the enterprise at hand?
– Have you stepped back to take a look at the big picture, or are you trapped by the minutiae of the moment?
It could be that in pausing for reflection you just might find that the extra effort isn’t necessary, or that you just hadn’t realized you were already there. Give it a whirl and see how it works.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Art is the elimination of the unnecessary.” – Pablo Picasso.
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For a few additional thoughts on Overwork and Overwhelm, see this article on CanadaJobs.com at: http://www.canadajobs.com/articles/viewarticle.cfm?ArticleID=1253
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, Game Changing Questions, Pause reader B writes: “Another Pause meant just for me at this time! I have just returned from celebrating the life of my sister – a life cut short in her prime by cancer. She also was someone who engaged and challenged people. The 700+ who attended the celebration of her life were a testament to that. She was so different from me and had many characteristics that I admire and am trying to keep present and emulate, including engaging others with meaningful questions! Thanks – Pause is an integral part of my week.”
REFLECTION: An experienced artist recently shared a few thoughts about overworking in response to a question from a novice painter. Although, the conversation centered on the negative impact of overworking a piece of art, as the discussion unfolded, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between art and life.
The mentoring artist noted five causes of overwork:
Repeatedly going back over old ground rather than leaving well enough alone and moving on
Striving for perfection – spending time and energy on final finishing touches that don’t add appreciable value
Forcing the work – letting impatience over-ride the flow of the paint, the brush or the pen
Overusing a well developed skill when it’s not even called for in the work of the moment
Getting caught up in the fine detail without stopping to step back for the long view and gaining perspective
ACTION: It seems to me that we might take a page or two from the Old Masters and put them to work in our everyday work-lives.
When you find yourself challenged by overwork, take stock of these questions and see if they shift your behavior: (more…)
PAUSE – 11.22 – Game Changing Questions
March 29, 2011
REFLECTION:
It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
When I was in my early 20’s, and Harold was already a couple of decades further down this road of life, he and I were teamed up as staff partners at a youth development event. While our assigned group of thirty teenagers chatted and milled around us, we settled into the front seats of our charter bus for a short road trip to an out-of-town venue. As the bus reached the highway and headed for the open road, Harold turned to me and inquired, “So, tell me, young lady, exactly what do you intend to do with your life?”
Now, I’d heard a variation or two on that question before. From the time we can talk, as children, we are quizzed by the adults in our lives. “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” But this was not that kind of question. There was no condescension, no playfully poking fun, no making light conversation.
It was a simple, sincere, inquiry that carried a raft of implied messages – these amongst them. That even at this young age and early stage in my career, he saw me as capable of serious intentions and grand ambitions. That it was not too early – nor too late – to lift up my eyes and set my sails. That my plans might include a contribution or two to the lives of others and not just focus on my own self interests.
For me, it was a game-changing question. It prompted a conversation that drilled to a much deeper level of thinking. The impact of that question stayed with me through the years. It was a question that popped to mind recently when I read several bits of new research describing the importance of meaningful work in developing a sense of engagement in people’s lives and workplaces.
ACTION:
So, when was the last time you asked yourself – no matter how many years you think might lie ahead – “Just what, exactly, do you intend to do with the rest of your life?” In the end, it’s up to each one of us to set our sights on a meaningful future – to chart the destination, map out the terrain, and gas up the vehicle for the road ahead.
We also share that road with others. Every day, we are in contact and conversation with colleagues, friends and family. Many times, you and I might have an opportunity to introduce a game changing question that will trigger others to think differently about their situations, their prospects, and life’s possibilities. How often do we take the chance, and how often do we miss the moment? (That’s just the kind of a question you could count on Harold to ask.)
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Finding meaning can be more important than finding amusement.” – Marshall Goldsmith
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Marshall Goldsmith, whom I’ve mentioned in previous editions of Pause, coaches organizational leaders around the world. His recent work is focusing not on what organizations can do to engage their employees – but rather on how individuals can take responsibility for engaging themselves in their lives and their work. You can read a bit more about his latest thinking at: http://tinyurl.com/4ccafx7
REFLECTION: It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
When I was in my early 20’s, and Harold was already a couple of decades further down this road of life, he and I were teamed up as staff partners at a youth development event. While our assigned group of thirty teenagers chatted and milled around us, we settled into the front seats of our charter bus for a short road trip to an out-of-town venue. As the bus reached the highway and headed for the open road, Harold turned to me and inquired, “So, tell me, young lady, exactly what do you intend to do with your life?”
Now, I’d heard a variation or two on that question before. From the time we can talk, as children, we are quizzed by the adults in our lives. “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” But this was not that kind of question. There was no condescension, no playfully poking fun, no making light conversation.
It was a simple, sincere, inquiry that carried a raft of implied messages – these amongst them. That even at this young age and early stage in my career, he saw me as capable of serious intentions and grand ambitions. That it was not too early – nor too late – to lift up my eyes and set my sails. That my plans might include a contribution or two to the lives of others and not just focus on my own self interests.
No doubt you’ve been following the reports on the tragic earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster in Japan. Apparently, one of the most credible voices offering news updates in Japan is chief cabinet secretary, Yukio Edano.
Mr. Edano broadcasts reports on the latest developments an average of five times a day – at all hours of the day and night. His listening audience is growing concerned about his health. They’re noting his tussled hair, beads of sweat on his brow, tired eyes, and a growing weariness in his expression. They’re expressing their concerns via postings on Twitter encouraging Mr. Edano to step away and get some sleep.
ACTION:
Thankfully, few of us are facing challenges as severe as the nation of Japan. Still, we may find ourselves concerned about those nearer at hand who are dangerously overextending themselves for much lesser reasons – risking health and well-being in the process. It could be that we even see one of those people when we look in the mirror in the morning.
How about following the lead of the concerned Japanese? Take or make an opportunity to reach out in concern, encouraging time for renewal when none is being taken. Encouragement could take the form of wise counsel, an invitation to step briefly away for rest or refreshment, or an offer to lend a hand and lift the load.
Zest without rest is a short-term strategy with long-term consequences.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic….I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired.” – Susan McHenry
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more on Sleep Debt, see this article from Scientific American: Can You Catch Up On Lost Sleep? at http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=fact-or-fiction-can-you-catch-up-on-sleep
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, Surviving Mini Marathon, Pause reader YD writes: Interesting epiphany this morning for me. I’m a trail runner – a long distance trail runner – that’s the sport I love. It’s my frustration burning strategy, my creative / self-connection / meditation / self-love time. Over the years, I’ve developed ways to take care of my body: proper eating, yoga, stretching, sleeping, massage, taper period, etc. I’ve developed many routines to get up the day after, ready to hit the trail again.
I’m also a ‘long distance’ runner at WORK. But I realize now I don’t really have effective ways to take care of me – ways to get up the next day ready to run again. And maybe, just maybe, I should cut down on the distance I ‘run’ at work.
REFLECTION: No doubt you’ve been following the reports on the tragic earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster in Japan. Apparently, one of the most credible voices offering news updates in Japan is Chief Cabinet Secretary, Yukio Edano.
Mr. Edano broadcasts reports on the latest developments an average of five times a day – at all hours of the day and night. His listening audience is growing concerned about his health. They’re noting his tussled hair, beads of sweat on his brow, tired eyes, and a growing weariness in his expression.
They’re expressing their concerns via postings on Twitter encouraging Mr. Edano to step away and get some sleep. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.19 – Stopping Starting
March 8, 2011
REFLECTION: More than one study has confirmed that backlogs are an everyday fact of life in today’s overcommitted workplaces – not to mention on the home and community fronts. Despite the fact that we have an inordinate number of irons in the fire at any one time, that doesn’t seem to prevent us from adding more.
Personally, I’ve got a tall stack of books waiting for my attention. That hasn’t stopped me from firing off orders to Amazon or Chapters for yet another interesting volume or two. I’ve got a number of articles partly written, and program ideas partially developed. That doesn’t stop me from grabbing another scrap of paper and scratching out a few thoughts about yet another fresh idea. Over the years, I’ve registered a number of web domain names that seemed like an inspired idea at the time, and then let them languish for lack of attention.
Much ado has been made about the practice of ‘texting’ – trading instant messages as a way of keeping in touch with friends and family. Some love it. Others decry its lack of social grace.
Most wrappers ask relationship oriented questions. Many feature check boxes for Yes and No answers. Others provide spaces to fill in the blanks with your answer.
Vous etes libre ce soir? Oui? Non? Are you free tonight? Yes? No?
Vous etes seul dans la vie? Oui? Non? Are you single? Yes? No?
Appelle moi au: Call me at:
REFLECTION: On our last morning in Paris, I step out on the narrow balcony of our hotel room for one last time to see what’s happening in the street. Directly across the way, an elderly lady in her nightgown tends her window box geraniums. Several floors below a nun heads down the street, hands extended in front of her, holding what appears to be a blackberry. On closer inspection, I see she has two thumbs firmly fixed on the open pages of her prayer book. She traces the words as she walks. Not a blackberry prayer at all – something else entirely!
There’s nothing unique or new about vending machines. They’ve been around for years. Here in North America we’re accustomed to using them for everyday purchases of soft drinks and snacks.
This unit was located next to the ticket booth in a parkade in Avignon, France. The flowers were fresh and beautiful, too.
Many of these characters are featured in the Musee des Santons that we visited in the village of Les Baux de Provence. Our favorite characters were Grasso and Grassette (pictured here). G & G are an elderly couple who symbolize love and fidelity in spite of their old age and their daily squabbles.
For those of you who pride yourself as fashion forward folks, these jackets were featured in a London men’s wear store window in the Burlington Arcades just off Picadilly between Old Bond and Regent streets. 
I didn’t see any of these suits on guys on the street. And I’m pretty sure I would have noticed!
REFLECTION: 41 years ago today (April 13, 1970), Jack Swigert, astronaut on the infamous Apollo 13 mission delivered this memorable phrase, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”, after an oxygen tank burst on their way to the Moon. In fact, Swigert’s actual words were: “OK, Houston. Hey, we’ve got a problem here.” But over the years and through the magic of editing, the phrase has been shortened for dramatic effect.
REFLECTION: An experienced artist recently shared a few thoughts about overworking in response to a question from a novice painter. Although, the conversation centered on the negative impact of overworking a piece of art, as the discussion unfolded, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between art and life.
REFLECTION: It seems that part of living is learning to say good bye. I bid farewell last week to a former colleague and mentor, Harold Baker, with whom I had worked at the U of S years ago, and with whom I had kept in touch over the years. Harold, as testimonials at his memorial service confirmed, was a kind man, a gentleman, a selfless giver, a mentor, a teacher, and, above all, a community builder.
REFLECTION: No doubt you’ve been following the reports on the tragic earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster in Japan. Apparently, one of the most credible voices offering news updates in Japan is Chief Cabinet Secretary, Yukio Edano.
REFLECTION: More than one study has confirmed that backlogs are an everyday fact of life in today’s overcommitted workplaces – not to mention on the home and community fronts. Despite the fact that we have an inordinate number of irons in the fire at any one time, that doesn’t seem to prevent us from adding more.