PAUSE – 10.07 – From Goofs To Guffaws
March 4, 2010
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PAUSE – The Voice of Sanity In A Speed Crazed World
Volume 10, Number 7 – March 3, 2010
© Patricia Katz, Optimus Consulting
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Make someone’s day … send this their way 🙂
REFLECTION:
Unless you’ve been locked in a coma or a media free retreat, you’ll know that over the last two weeks, Canada played host to the 21 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. If you tuned in at all, you may have caught the broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies. And, if you stuck with the program until the end you will also know that the Opening Ceremony ended with more of a grand fizzle than a grand finale.
Because of an equipment goof up, only 3 of the 4 supports for the cauldron lifted into position. As a result, only 3 of the 4 high-level athletes who were to torch the cauldron to life, got to do their thing. It was embarrassing for the organizing committee and all just a bit awkward for Canada. People looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and wondered whether ‘almost but not quite’ was destined to become the tenor of the Games.
Fast forward two weeks to the opening moments of the Closing Ceremony. The 3 armed cauldron sits in the middle of the stadium. The 4th arm is coaxed to life through the actions of a Mime who jumpstarts the lifting of the arm by apologetically plugging it into a giant extension cord. Catriona LeMay Doan, the 4th athlete appears on the scene to – finally – take her turn at lighting the flame.
The spoof is hilarious. In one fell swoop, the organizers sweep away any residues of embarrassment about the opening night malfunction. They shine a spotlight on the failure, make fun of themselves in the process, and create the opportunity to set things right.
ACTION:
What a lesson they gave the world in how to use a sense of humor to deal with situations that go sideways.
Their formula for moving from goof to guffaw looked like this:
1. Own the error.
2. Put it in perspective. (Laugh don’t cry)
3. Make amends.
4. Carry on.
I don’t know about you. But the next time I fall flat in one effort or another (and I’m sure I will), I’m going to keep this approach in mind.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“That’s not serious; it’s just human.” – Jerry Kopke.
“One cannot too soon forget his errors and misdemeanors; for to dwell upon them is to add to the offense.” – Henry David Thoreau
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
If you are in the mood for a few more chuckles, drop in to the Questionable Translations and Church Bulletin Goofs sections on this site: http://www.jmhare.com/funny_stuff/goodies.htm
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the earlier Pause message, Meltdowns Optional, reader MD writes: “Just dealt with a seven year old’s meltdown before school this morning. Your notes continue to remind me to relax and respond appropriately (something I didn’t do today). Thanks for my reminder…AGAIN.”
REFLECTION: Unless you’ve been locked in a coma or a media free retreat, you’ll know that over the last two weeks, Canada played host to the 21 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. If you tuned in at all, you may have caught the broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies. And, if you stuck with the program until the end you will also know that the Opening Ceremony ended with more of a grand fizzle than a grand finale.
Because of an equipment goof up, only 3 of the 4 supports for the cauldron lifted into position. As a result, only 3 of the 4 high-level athletes who were to torch the cauldron to life, got to do their thing. It was embarrassing for the organizing committee and all just a bit awkward for Canada. People looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and wondered whether ‘almost but not quite’ was destined to become the tenor of the Games.
Fast forward two weeks to the opening moments of the Closing Ceremony. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.06 – Separation Or Integration?
February 24, 2010
REFLECTION:
There was a time when creating life balance meant setting better boundaries and shoring up the divide between the workplace and a personal life. Although there are still times where boundary setting is essential, the divide is fuzzy. And, sometimes a sharp divide is not even that desirable.
In the interests of building employee engagement and supporting employees’ lives outside of work, some organizations work very hard to make work as meaningful and as integrated a part of life as possible. They are creating workplace cultures where supportive relationships are nourished, where families are included, where individuals can be themselves (quirks welcome), and where employees are supported in tending to their needs at work and at home.
Here is a sampling of one organization’s strategies for building engagement and supporting balance:
– publishing a company newsletter delivered to homes of employees featuring people news, event updates, and profiling contributions of employees and family members
– hosting work-sponsored events that involve employees’ families (T-shirt design contest, special Family Day BBQ)
– maintaining a Wellness area in the workplace with fitness equipment (for use in exercise room or at desks), BP monitors, and healthy snack options
– recognizing personal milestones and anniversaries (including employee’s start date with the organization)
– encouraging individual decor in workspaces and dress up theme days based on employee interests
– coordinating an emergency fund to help employee families through rough times
ACTION:
If you don’t work with an organization that has made this area a priority, there are still things you can do as an individual to bridge the great divide:
– Share news of your work with those at home. Not just the whines and complaints, but the interesting people news, positive challenges and successes.
– Same thing goes the other way. Share news of family and community activities with those in your workplace. It will help them see you in a more complete light.
– Take advantage of wellness services and programming that are offered in your workplace, and encourage others to do the same.
– Bring other bits of yourself to work. See if there are ways to apply your hobbies and interests to the work at hand.
– Pay attention to your colleagues. Listen and watch for needs you might address and ways you might express support.
These investments will go a long ways in helping you and others more fully integrate and balance lives at work and at home.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Fulfilling the four needs [spiritual, mental, physical, social] in an integrated way is like combining elements in chemistry. When we reach a “critical mass” of integration, we experience spontaneous combustion–an explosion of inner synergy that ignites the fire within and gives vision, passion, and a spirit of adventure to life.” – Stephen Covey
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Read in more detail about Beryl Institute’s approach to balancing and enriching the lives of their employees and their families at: http://www.entrepreneur.com/management/columnistpaulspiegelman/article205146.html
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s Pause message on ‘Life’s Pinball Challenge’, reader GJ writes: I use the visual of the pinball game in explaining how I felt growing up. I was the ultimate people pleaser and felt like the steel ball being shot out into the pinball game, zinging all over the place, totally out of control, but racking up the points. I answered to almost every person who needed or wanted a piece of me. Hearing the bells ring here, there and everywhere as they called me to help them was the ultimate stressor for me. Eventually, I would disappear into this hole waiting for the next call to help. I’m glad that, through workshops such as yours and the wonderful books out there to read, I’m learning to not tilt into that hole as often!
REFLECTION: There was a time when creating life balance meant setting better boundaries and shoring up the divide between the workplace and a personal life. Although there are still times where boundary setting is essential, the divide is fuzzy. And, sometimes a sharp divide is not even that desirable.
In the interests of building employee engagement and supporting employees’ lives outside of work, some organizations work very hard to make work as meaningful and as integrated a part of life as possible. They are creating workplace cultures where supportive relationships are nourished, where families are included, where individuals can be themselves (quirks welcome), and where employees are supported in tending to their needs at work and at home.
Here is a sampling of one organization’s strategies for building engagement and supporting balance: (more…)
PAUSE – 10.05 – Life’s Pinball Challenge
February 17, 2010
REFLECTION:
Some days it seems like life is one big pinball experience. You blast into action with a big rush of energy towards your main goal for the day. Within moments an unexpected problem forces you off course. While your attention shifts in the direction of the diversion, phone calls, email, and drop-ins further deflect your concentration from the task at hand. Just as you give your head a shake and circle back around to where you started, you find yourself drawn to a shiny distraction that you hadn’t noted before. And so it goes.
The game continues. You ping, pong, bounce, and rebound your way through the day, seemingly at the mercy of external impediments and obstacles that may or may not have anything to do with your initial intent.
Been there? Done that?
(BTW, if you are of a certain age where pinball is a foreign word, you’ll find it described on Wiki at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinball).
What’s the difference between the game of pinball and life as a pinball experience? In the game you get points for crazed careening. Keep the play in motion without tilting, and you not only rack up high scores, but you also get to play keep on playing.
In pinball as life, crazed careening also keeps us ‘playing’ – sometimes late into the evening hours. However, as we tilt in multiple directions, our productivity sinks and satisfaction flounders – despite massive injections of energy along the way.
ACTION:
Here are a few strategies that can help you make more satisfying progress in a pinball world where obstructions continuously pop into play:
* Start with an intention to be more focused and composed. It will heighten the quality of attention you bring to tasks at hand and reduce your susceptibility to distraction.
* Build in ‘think time’ early in the day and make ‘get back on track’ investments of time as the day unfolds.
* Limit inflow distractions whenever possible. There isn’t a cell phone or computer ‘alive’ that can force you to look its way unless you give it that power over your attention. Check for new input and info when it suits you – not on the whim of the machine.
* Be thoughtful about the number of meetings and appointments you schedule in the course of a day. Nonstop back to back confabs will keep you bouncing between engagements with little time for thoughtful preparation or follow through.
* Develop one or two no-fail strategies to catch your breath and calm yourself down when the pace of play sends stress levels into the stratosphere. You’ll need them to stay in the game!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Whatever you want to accomplish, whatever is important to you, do it and do it now – with as much grace, intensity, and sense of ease as you can muster.” – Marc Lesser
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Check out Marc Lesser’s book: “LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less”. 2009. New World Library. You can get a sense of Marc’s voice from his blog at: http://doingless.net/blog
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s Pause message, Valentine Reflections, reader CD writes: “Thanks for the relationship reminders, Pat! The one that resonates most for me (married almost 20 years) is – tell your partner what you want/need. I think many of us, especially women, have hopes and dreams
for our relationships, but feel like if we have to tell our partners, it won’t be meaningful if they happen. I have told many of my younger friends “tell him what you want”! Would it be nice for him to divine
that information? Sure. But 9 times out of 10 it won’t happen, and this creates resentments that really aren’t fair.”
REFLECTION: Some days it seems like life is one big pinball experience. You blast into action with a big rush of energy towards your main goal for the day. Within moments an unexpected problem forces you off course. While your attention shifts in the direction of the diversion, phone calls, email, and drop-ins further deflect your concentration from the task at hand. Just as you give your head a shake and circle back around to where you started, you find yourself drawn to a shiny distraction that you hadn’t noted before. And so it goes.
The game continues. You ping, pong, bounce, and rebound your way through the day, seemingly at the mercy of external impediments and obstacles that may or may not have anything to do with your initial intent.
Been there? Done that? (more…)
PAUSE -10.04- Valentine Reflections
February 12, 2010
REFLECTION:
As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. In the Readers’ Write section of today’s message, you’ll find a link to a collection of Pause Reader relationship advice.
Many of you also asked me to pretty up the Ten Lessons List a bit so you could: post it on your fridge, tack it to your bulletin board, share it with your partner, or tuck it into wedding gifts for other couples just starting out.
My Valentine’s gift to you is a formatted poster style version of those Lessons Learned. You’ll find a link to a printable pdf below in the Resource Of The Week. Enjoy and share as you wish.
ACTION:
Relationships are such an important part of life. Pause this week to appreciate those friends, partners, colleagues and family members who contribute so much to your life. If you haven’t done so recently, take a moment to let them know how much they mean to you.
I guarantee it will be time well spent. You’ll never regret making the time to let someone know you care. You may, however, regret letting the busy-ness of life force aside your best intentions to speak up.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” – Author Unknown
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Link to the Lessons Learned poster: http://www.pauseworks.com/library/articles/loves_lessons_learned.pdf
REFLECTION: As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. (more…)
PAUSE -10.03- Meltdowns Optional
January 20, 2010
REFLECTION:
One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call.
Initially, I did not respond that well. Although the new baby is, of course, under warranty and the repairs will be made at no additional cost, we had invested a significant amount of time in the system transfer and set up. It appeared that investment would be time and energy down the drain.
When the breakdown occurred, I found myself flipping into R&R mode: Regret and Recriminations. Should have done X! Could have done Y! Why didn’t we try Z? Why did this happen to me? All pointless machinations, of course, and an even more colossal waste of energy.
ACTION:
The good news is that I didn’t stay stuck in letdown limbo for long. Somehow reason prevailed. I was able to remind myself that just because my computer had a meltdown, it didn’t mean that I had to follow suit.
When life’s experiences go sideways, here’s a formula for a healthy response with relative time frames:
Accept reality – 30 minutes
Rant, rave, wail & gnash teeth – 30 seconds
Review options – 30 minutes
Choose action – 30 seconds
Get on with it – Pronto!
* Actual time approximate – but proportions accurate. If you get my drift!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Just because your computer (microwave, car, firstborn, fill in your nemesis here: _____) has a meltdown, it didn’t mean that you have to follow suit.” – Yours Truly
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I’ve long been a fan of Loretta LaRoche and her zany take on life’s stressors. I recently enjoyed dipping into her latest offering: “Juicy Living, Juicy Aging – Kick Up Your Heels … Before You’re Too Short To Wear Them”. Hay House, 2007.
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the recent e-zine on ‘Saying Yes’, Pause reader JO writes: I enjoyed the newsletter that commented on saying yes and saying no. Many of us who are customer centric often say yes first. It can be the automatic response that comes from a sincere desire to help. Always saying yes can however lead to too much on the plate!
A few years ago when I was recovering from some surgery and coming back to work full time, it was very important for me to set boundaries. The counsellor I was working with suggested that I give myself time to reflect on requests. It was important that I measure my energy at various parts of the day to see what my capabilities were.
This is the lesson I learned that I still use today. In response to a request, say maybe or I’ll consider this. That response gives me the pause time to reflect, and if I have to say no, or not at this time, it’s easier going.
REFLECTION: One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.02 – Mini Retreats
January 13, 2010
REFLECTION: One of the cool things about writing and speaking on a particular topic (like I have with Pause for almost a decade now), is that others who are working in related areas seek you out.
In the last few months, I’ve been privy to advance drafts of two new books on stress and renewal. Today, I want to highlight for you one of those offerings.
Julia James, a life coach based in Vancouver, has just released her book called, ‘The Mini-Retreat Solution – How to Relax & Refresh Anytime, Anywhere’. In addition to reinforcing the case for taking time out in the midst of busy lives, Julia offers 80 specific suggestions for mini retreats (small bits of time out that you incorporate throughout the day). For easy reference, the mini-retreats are grouped by time of day (morning, lunch, evening) and situation (in transit, at the office, in the community). (more…)
Pause Video – Saying Yes
January 7, 2010
PAUSE – 10.01 – Saying Yes
January 6, 2010
REFLECTION: One of my vacation projects involved sifting through the digital photos from our 2009 adventures. I usually pull a few pics and create a ‘Year In Photos’ holiday message for friends and family. This year, I went one step further and created a digital photo album that is about to be printed as a hard cover book. Although digital images and slide shows are fine, there’s something appealing about leafing through an album you can hold in your hands. Bless Apple’s iPhoto software for making this so easy and inexpensive.
What I discovered as I flipped my way through the photo highlights of the year is that they all shared one thing in common: a ‘Yes’ response to the possibilities. (more…)
Video – Your Year In Review (Pause 9.44)
December 21, 2009
PAUSE – 9.44 – Your Year In Review
December 17, 2009
REFLECTION:
December can be an exciting time of the year, if you are able to see past the overwhelming pressure of holiday preparations, and find that celebratory, appreciative place of mind.
There’s something satisfying about turning that final page on the wall hung calendar. Another 12 months behind us. Another year lived, complete with unexpected twists and turns.
It’s the time of year when journalists feel compelled to look back at the year in review, creating top 10 lists of everything you can imagine – people, events, disasters, and delights. Christmas greetings and letters often take the same form – a year in the life of Family Smith.
There’s an opportunity here for each one of us to cast a glance over 2009 and the kind of year it has been for us.
ACTION:
I invite you to carve out a quiet moment sometime in the next couple of weeks. Pour your favorite beverage. Grab a pen and paper.
Scratch this title at the top of the page: “My 2009 – A Positive Review”. Think back over the experiences of the year. Generate a list that includes: good things, delights, challenges met, experiences enjoyed, and memories treasured from the last 12 months.
If you like, do the same for the families, teams, and organizations of which you are a part. (By the way, one of the items on my list is all the encouraging messages I’ve received from you – my Pause readers. I’m grateful for your generosity in sharing your reactions, ideas and experiences.)
As you jot things down on your list, you may be tempted to create another list that features: unfulfilled intentions, discarded goals, missed opportunities, sorry disappointments, and lingering regrets. Resist the temptation. Leave the negatives for another time.
Simply enjoy the positives of 2009, and invite those you spend time with over the holidays to do the same. Life is way too short to ignore the ups and be preoccupied by the downs.
PS – If you are in a sharing mood, I’d love to hear a sampling of positives from your Year In Review. I’ll gladly compile a list to share with other Pause readers. It would be a great boost to jumpstart the new year.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” – Hal Borland
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Next year, 2010, will begin the tenth year of Pause messages. I plan to continue the messages in writing, but I’ve also been experimenting with other forms of delivery – namely video.
If you’re interested in taking a peak at my first foray into the world of You Tube, you’ll find last week’s message, Shifting Into Neutral, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_hG0B341Tw
Take a look. Let me know what you like or don’t like about the approach and production values, how you could see yourself using the videos, and whether you would like more video versions in the new year.
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
The final words of the year belong to reader, JK, who writes in response to the Pause message, Defining Moments:
Nietzsche wrote: “What does not destroy me makes me stronger.” How true of all of life’s woes, or as you put it so succinctly – defining moments.
If you can put yourself back on the horse after being thrown, pull yourself up after a series of calamities such as the death of a loved one, or loss of a job, you find that somehow you emerge stronger. And, as a bonus, you can handle the next setback with more equanimity. You are revitalized with a new sense of self. You also learn that scars can be something to be proud of because they show that you took a chance and you came through.
Not only loss and failure define us. Think of all the moments when you were at one with yourself and the world. These moments also shape and mold us. As we enter this festive season, take a moment to reflect on all the events that have changed us, defined who we are and where we are going.
REFLECTION: December can be an exciting time of the year, if you are able to see past the overwhelming pressure of holiday preparations, and find that celebratory, appreciative place of mind.
There’s something satisfying about turning that final page on the wall hung calendar. Another 12 months behind us. Another year lived, complete with unexpected twists and turns.
It’s the time of year when journalists feel compelled to look back at the year in review, creating top 10 lists of everything you can imagine – people, events, disasters, and delights. Christmas greetings and letters often take the same form – a year in the life of Family Smith.
There’s an opportunity here for each one of us to cast a glance over 2009 and the kind of year it has been for us. (more…)
