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Pop Up Problems

Reflection: I’m deep in the throes of redefining my business focus …. yet again! It’s a challenge that never goes away.

If I were to wager a bet, I’d guess you may have one or two of those sticky, rebound issues in your life, too – the kind that never really disappear! They fade into the background from time to time, only to raise their heads a mile or a month further down the road.

For 27 years now, I’ve faced the task of trying to describe what I offer in ways that makes sense to those who may have a need or an interest. Even though I’m a pretty decent communicator, I still find it a daunting task. Maybe that’s because I cannot resist editing, re-editing and editing yet again. What looked great yesterday, seems to always pale in the morning light.

Part of the challenge is that I’m working with a moving target. As I grow and learn, and work with clients, my understanding of problems deepens and my approaches shift. Whatever is expressed on the website or in program descriptions then becomes a reflection of what was – not what is now.

For a while, I wondered if the perfect expression lay just beyond my reach, and that perhaps my subconscious held the answer. I even tucked an index card under my pillow at one point that read, “In search of the perfect tag line!” No luck!

I recall a few years ago speaking with a wise and experienced colleague about my frustration. He laughed and asked, “Are you still tormenting yourself with that?” His point was this. You create your best description at the moment, put it out there, and get busy doing the work. Your clients and your community will know you by what you do – not by what you say you do!

Sigh! Could it really be that easy? Perhaps!

Action: I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person on the planet tormenting myself on a semi-regular basis! You probably have your own pet ‘toaster’ problems that keep popping up over and over again. (more…)

Reflection: Partner a fast pace with huge expectations and minimal down time, and you’ve got all the necessary ingredients for a big old vat of ‘sweet’n’sour stress soup’.

Like steam off a stockpot, emotions will run high – guaranteed! The challenge is to know how to deal with them without getting burned.

This is where EI – Emotional Intelligence – comes into play. If it’s been a while since you were introduced to EI, or are meeting the concept for the first time, here’s a short refresher.

EI is based on Awareness and Management of feelings – within ourselves and between ourselves and others.

On the inside, how aware of you of your own emotional states, and how skilled are you in controlling your responses and managing your own reactions to events?

On the outside, how attuned are you to the emotional states of others, and how skilled are you in managing those relationships with others when feelings run high?

At the core of EI in action is the ability to tune in and name the emotions and also consider what needs they might signal.

Action: I’ve been thinking about the whole business of interpretation and wondering how we might use emotions and our insights about them as a way to guide what we do next.

Here’s an attempt to interpret the underlying meaning of a few of the emotions likely to cross our paths and minds. (more…)

St John Harbor Hill

Reflection: Where do you focus? And, what do you see?

Several years ago, during one of my early watercolor classes, our instructor Cecelia sat us down to sketch on the South Saskatchewan riverbank here in Saskatoon.

Thinking like photographers, we scanned the horizon and angles searching for THE perfect composition. Not Cecelia. She pointed out a grouping of trees to the left, the sweep of a promenade to the right, and the silhouette of a building in the distance. She totally ignored the backhoe, the piles of dirt, and the construction workers milling around the site.

Cecelia then roughed out a sketch that moved the elements she liked into a composition that worked. We looked at her – skeptical and disbelieving – and asked, “Can you do that?”

The answer, of course, is yes. And not just in the world of art!

Art, and the art of life, invite us to picture what could be. Having imagined it, we can set about creating something new.

This option – to create a fresh reality and imagine new possibilities – is available to each of us every single day. We need only focus our attention on what holds appeal, work around the debris, and picture what could be in the face of what is.

Action: As the designer of your own life, you get to choose your point of view. (more…)

Reflection: It moderates stress and anxiety in children. It just might work for us, too. ‘It’ is mindfulness – a concept attracting growing attention in both the worlds of education and business.

Last week I spoke at an Early Childhood Education conference in Edmonton. Mindfulness served as the central theme for their event. And, as you might imagine, the practice of pausing for renewal and pausing to be more thoughtful, for which I’m known, fit right in.

It was a bonus for me to be able to sit in on a couple of other sessions, and I was intrigued to learn more about a new school-based program called MindUP. The program gives young students the tools they need to manage emotions and behaviors, reduce stress, sharpen concentration, and grow empathy and optimism. Sounds like something adults could use, too!

Two elements form the foundation for the program. Students are first introduced to basic brain science. They learn how stressful situations trigger natural defensive emotional reactions which shut down access to the thinking part of the brain. They are then taught to take charge of their brain and their behavior (to gather themselves) through the art of mindful breathing.

Breathing is presented as a way to settle the mind and the emotion – to sidetrack those ‘run away train’ feelings – so they can access the thinking part of the brain, the Prefrontal Cortex. Daily practice sessions (morning, midday and end of day) consist of three minutes of quiet, focused mindful breathing.

MindUP is showing strong results in developing emotional maturity (less anxiety and more calm), social relationships (greater empathy for others), and academic performance. And, the kids who see how well this works in their own lives are teaching their siblings and even their parents how to calm down and get a grip! How cool is that?

Action: Give it a try yourself this week. (more…)

Reflection: Attention over-extended, over-achievers.

Yeah, you! If you’re the one with the endless list of things to do. The one who always volunteers for that last minute job, chairs the committees, works the extra shifts, hauls the kids, hosts the socials, and generally goes the extra mile!

Yeah, you! If you’re the one who puts yourself at the bottom of those lists in invisible ink. The one who makes sure everybody else leaves on time, remembers their vitamins, books their vacations, and gets those pats on the back.

Might you be feeling just a tad overwhelmed by all you’ve undertaken or a tad under-valued from being taken for granted?

Well, stop right there! It’s time for a glance in the mirror and a heart to heart chat!

Whether you realize it or not, you matter! And not just because of all you do in support of those around you. You matter simply because you’re who you are and that you’re here. And, by the way – you are enough!

Whether you hear it from others or not – you do make a difference in the lives of those around you. Just don’t be making that contribution from a feeling of lack, an overactive sense of duty, nor at the expense of your own wellbeing!  Take care of you, too!

Action: What to do with this? (more…)

Meewasin Skating Rink

Reflection: What’s your story? Everybody’s got one, or two, or three…or an endless supply!

For twenty years now, I’ve been writing a weekly column (13 years of Pause e-zines, and before that, 7 years of newspaper columns). Readers often ask me two questions, “Where do you get your inspiration, and aren’t you afraid of running out of ideas?” The answers to those two questions are, “Everywhere and No.”

Having an audience, a deadline, and an outlet keeps me noticing and tuned in to my surroundings. Material lives everywhere. Clients share problems, and program attendees ask questions. Ideas pop up as I browse the web, or leaf through books, newspapers and magazines.

But most importantly, things happen. Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of paying attention to everyday events as they unfold, and asking myself, ‘So What?’

Many of life’s experiences carry a bundle of insights and lessons. They’re accessible to all, if we pause to register the experience and mine the meaning.

You may not have a desire to write, or a platform from which to expound, so why would this matter to you? Because learning as we go creates a richer life experience. Because harvesting lessons on the fly keeps us from making the same mistakes over and over. And, because sharing the lessons brought by life’s experiences, gives us a way to mentor and encourage others – and remind ourselves.

The emotional tug of a great story makes a learning point more relatable and impactful. This is why organizations share stories of great customer service with their staff and clientele, and why they invest in building the storytelling skills of their leaders. This is why Aesop’s Fables and other stories have such a long shelf-life.

Memorable stories move people to thought and action – where mind-numbing lectures, endless statistics and tedious objectives fall short.

Action: Here are a handful of ways to improve your story finding and mining skills: (more…)

Here’s a little visual magic and music to banish those mid February blues and brighten your day, complements of the Pauseworks Studio. Enjoy, and pass it along!

For details on these paintings and more, check out the Pauseworks Studio on Fine Art America.

Reflection: With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems an especially timely story to share.

Our second grandson arrived on the last Saturday of January. Little Leon (named after his maternal grandfather) is a beautiful baby with a relaxed and contented way of being in this world. He’s easy to be with and (in the way of all newborn babes) easy to love. Not that I would be biased in any way!

I was lucky enough to be able to set everything aside for a week to spend time helping his new-to-parenting Mom and Dad, while getting to know the little guy, himself.

The baby’s arrival was delightedly anticipated by all – with the possible exception of grandson number one, Leon’s five year old cousin, Ethan.

When asked why he wasn’t all that excited about the arrival of the new baby, Ethan explained. Using the kitchen counter as a drawing board and his finger as a pen, he pointed to Spot #1 saying, “This is me.” As he drew a circle around Spot #1 he added, “This is all of you paying attention to me.”

“When the baby comes, he’ll be over there,” he continued, pointing out Spot #2 at the other end of the counter. Drawing a circle around Spot #2 (the new baby), Ethan predicted, “This will be all of you paying attention to him.”

And, pointing forlornly at Spot #1, he whispered, “I’ll be over here all by myself.” (more…)

Last February’s 2012 ‘heart month’ give away (29 copies of Press Pause…Think Again in 29 days) was a real hit. This year, I’m offering another chance for you to encourage others in this very tangible way.

As February unfolds I will be giving away 28 copies of my booklet: ‘Take A Bow…67 Ways to Pause For Applause, Celebrate your Success, & Keep Your Spirits High’. These will go to people YOU want to encourage.

Here’s how it works. Think of someone in your circle of acquaintance who could use a lift or who you’d like to recognize for who they are and what they do. Email me that person’s name along with a thought or two about why you’d like to give them this gift. ( info@pauseworks.com )

Use the words, Take A Bow, in the Subject line of your email message. And, include your postal address in each entry. Include only one person in each nomination message. Enter as many times as you wish.

Each day I will draw the name of one lucky recipient from the entries received. If your nominee is chosen, I will personalize the booklet in their name and send it to you so that you can have the fun of presenting it yourself.

All entries received will be included in the draw bucket right through to the end of the month. I’m excited to be helping you help others to ‘Take A Bow’. Happy February.

Reflection: It’s the season of flu and ‘achoo’! We try to protect ourselves – and others – with flu shots, fist bumps, and hand washing. Still, somehow the devilish germs find a way to work their magic. Fact is, if we’re infected or afflicted, we’re contagious.

We’re emotionally contagious, too! Spend time in the company of a high-spirited individual with a positive outlook on events and an enthusiasm for life, and somehow you feel better about your world.

Spend those same hours in the company of someone whose signature color is gray, who specializes in morose and miserable, and you can easily find yourself skidding down that slippery slide into their ‘oh-so-roomy’ pit of despair.

What’s uncanny about it all is that the tendency to adjust our response or behavior to echo those of others around us is often unconscious. We may not even realize it’s happening.

For better or for worse, combine the expressed and underlying moods of everyone on a team or in a family and you’ve got the group’s collective emotional state. And that state influences morale and performance.

Team leaders need to be even more mindful about emotional state, since their influence is greater than that of a “regular” team member. I daresay this holds true for parents in a family situation, too.

Action: So what to do with this insight? (more…)