Work & Play – Mixing It Up On The Road
July 25, 2010
PAUSE – 10.19 – Summer Reading
June 30, 2010
REFLECTION:
July is on our doorstep and summer awaits. One of the great joys of long, sunny summer days – especially when some of them are wide open ‘nothing planned’ vacation days – is the chance to curl up with a good book or two.
If you’re an everyday literary hunter and gatherer, you’ve probably got your supply on hand. They’re stacked up and backed up – hunkered down on that shelf in your office, loitering on the floor next to your living room chair, and languishing on your bedside table.
If, on the other hand, a trip to Chapters or a visit to Amazon are in your immediate future, I’d be glad to offer a couple of suggestions for recent books on life balance, focus and renewal that might spark your interest.
ACTION:
Pat’s recommended summer reading short-list to help you step back, take stock, and create an even more compelling and satisfying future includes:
* Do More Great Work – by Michael Bungay Stanier (Workman Publishing 2010). Lighthearted and meaty all at the same time. Lots of exercises to help you surface your preferences and map out a future of significance. Michael playfully challenges you to puzzle out answers to questions like these. What are you like at your best? What’s calling you? What’s broken? What’s possible?
* The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working – by Tony Schwartz (Simon & Schuster 2010). I’ve followed Tony’s work since he first authored The Power of Full Engagement a number of years ago. This new volume offers an air tight case for building in time and space for renewal – as individuals, teams and organizations. Grounded in research and tested by the organizations that have used and shaped his ideas, he offers practical suggestions (and compelling reasons) for making renewal a part of everyday personal and business life.
* Here are a couple of other books I’ve referenced in earlier Pause messages that are also definitely worth a read: ‘Find Your Focus Zone’ by Lucy Jo Palladino and ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There’ by Marshall Goldsmith. And, of course, if you haven’t already read it, I have to recommend ‘Press Pause…Press On’ by yours truly (Check Pauseworks Shop for details: http://www.pauseworks.com/shop/)
PS Does your summer reading taste run more to fictional escapes? If so, I recommend The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards. And although I have yet to read it, so can’t give you a personal recommendation, on the suggestion of a handful of friends I’ve packed Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen for my get away fiction reading. I’ll let you know what I think of it.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled “This could change your life.” – Helen Exley
It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. – Oscar Wilde
(Sheesh, Oscar – I really had to think about that one for a while!)
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Often worth exploring are Michael Bungay Stanier’s blog and website at: http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/
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READERS WRITE:
Last week’s Pause message, The Not So Classic BMW, generated quite a number of insightful replies from readers – too many to include here in the e-zine. I’ve posted a compilation of responses on my blog, so that you can explore them as well. Here’s the link to that post: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/?p=1206
REFLECTION: July is on our doorstep and summer awaits. One of the great joys of long, sunny summer days – especially when some of them are wide open ‘nothing planned’ vacation days – is the chance to curl up with a good book or two.
If you’re an everyday literary hunter and gatherer, you’ve probably got your supply on hand. They’re stacked up and backed up – hunkered down on that shelf in your office, loitering on the floor next to your living room chair, and languishing on your bedside table.
If, on the other hand, a trip to Chapters or a visit to Amazon are in your immediate future, I’d be glad to offer a couple of suggestions for recent books on life balance, focus and renewal that might spark your interest. (more…)
Reader Responses To ‘The Not So Classic BMW’
June 29, 2010
My recent Pause e-zine message, ‘The Not So Classic BMW’, generated quite a number of thoughtful replies from readers. Here are a few of their thoughts on dealing with BMW (Bitch, Moan, Whine) behaviours in the workplace.
LC writes: As an office manager, I have a role that is important to the owners as well as the employees and it can be a difficult tight rope on given days and in given circumstances. I can be guilty of the BMW as well as offering a shoulder for complaints. I preach the leave it outside and let’s make it happen, but don’t always find myself following my own wisdom.
LF writes: This is something that I believe in and try to do. If you don’t like something, do what you can to improve things. If you are not successful at least you can then complain with some credibility. If you are successful, you have one less thing that irritates you.
JG writes: I loved the BMW insight and practical tool. I am always looking at ways to create a more positive and productive work environment for people who tend to see things a bit negatively. Of course, what hit home was the first point – consider whether or not I am contributing to the very behaviors I try to discourage – good question. I think I can safely say, ” No,” consciously, but there is a bit of me that may actually be an unintentional accomplice. Great food for thought – I can use the 4 step process on myself first…. Thanks! (more…)
PAUSE – 10.18 – The Not So Classic BMW
June 23, 2010
REFLECTION:
Nothing damages the morale of a workplace more than a collection of individuals whose response to every situation is to complain and criticize from the cozy confines of victimhood. “Isn’t it awful? How dare they? What were they thinking? Someone should do something about this!”
A recent conference participant, in a session I was delivering on encouragement and appreciation in the workplace, described this group as her BMW’s. Not the classic high priced automobile – but rather the folks who specialize in Bitching, Moaning, and Whining.
Her abbreviated description generated a considerable number of guffaws and knowing looks as other attendees nodded their heads in recognition. It seems the BMW problem is familiar to many. There might even be a few BMW’s ripping up the streets in your world.
ACTION:
So what to do and how to handle them? Here is a four level response you might find useful.
1. Consider whether you might be an unintentional accomplice who encourages BMW behavior. Pay attention to how often you commiserate or provide a forum (a willing ear and shoulder) for tired old complaints.
2. Determine if there’s a legitimate concern at the root of the BMW response. If there is, engage the individual in action that works to resolve the issue.
3. Notice if BMW behavior has simply become an habitual response. If that’s the case, make the person aware of the situation. Try your hand at coaching a turn-around that steers the individual towards a more positive response.
4. Identify the business consequences and collateral damage to the team that flow from BMW negativity. Position the snide asides as the performance problems that they are. Lay out clear expectations for change and potential consequences if the BMW behavior continues.
Each of us has a right to our own thoughts – both negative and positive. We also have a choice about what we decide to express. That expression carries with it a responsibility for the impact of our words and actions. Make it clear that BMWs should be parked outside and are not welcome in your workplace.
PS – If the BMW’s in your life are spewing a black cloud over your family or community group, similar rules of the road apply.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you’ve growled all day long.” – Author Unknown (But clearly someone with a good deal of insight and a great sense of humor!)
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Check out this helpful article that includes seven tips for minimizing workplace negativity at: http://humanresources.about.com/od/workrelationships/a/negativity.htm
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, ‘Getting Out There’, Pause reader DO writes: I started doing yoga about 18 months ago. One of the big benefits is the conscious breathing. When I think about physical activity you’ve described, or just being outside, I believe the deeper breath is a part of the cleansing and brightening process. I’ve noticed at recent meetings and events that when people go outside at break time the first thing they do is take a big deep breath.
REFLECTION: Nothing damages the morale of a workplace more than a collection of individuals whose response to every situation is to complain and criticize from the cozy confines of victimhood. “Isn’t it awful? How dare they? What were they thinking? Someone should do something about this!”
A recent conference participant, in a session I was delivering on encouragement and appreciation in the workplace, described this group as her BMW’s. Not the classic high priced automobile – but rather the folks who specialize in Bitching, Moaning, and Whining. (more…)
Techno Dilemmas
June 16, 2010
Each time I write an e-zine message or post to the Pause blog about the place of technology in our lives, it generates a mega response. It’s apparent that people hold strong feelings on both sides of the fence and right down the middle, for that matter.
Today’s blog post by Peter Bregman at Harvard Business Review, Why I Returned My iPad, is also generating a lively set of reactions – both for and against. Bregman describes the seductive appeal of this new techno toy in his life, the impact his use had on balance in his life, and his challenges with turning it off or setting it aside.
What is just as interesting as his experience are the reactions – pro and con – of those who comment on his decision. This is exactly the kind of debate that we need to find the right balance of time in – time out when it comes to the place of technology in our highly connected lives.
PAUSE – 10.17 – Getting Out There
June 16, 2010
REFLECTION:
It seems like weather everywhere has been pretty wonky so far this year. Here in Saskatchewan we’ve experienced record rainfalls. The dreary, grey cloud cover that delivers the daily driving rain has put a tangible damper on mood.
That changed as the last few days finally brought bright sunshine and warmer temperatures. There is a palpable shift in mind-set as people spend more time in motion and out of doors. Suddenly, the world seems brighter. Problems seem lighter.
Physical activity is a well known contributor to mental health. Moving around outdoors delivers an even greater bonus. There’s a whole world out there to engage in, nature’s beauty to appreciate, and a universe sized space that puts human size problems in perspective.
Getting out there gets us out there. It draws us out of our little corners of concern. It smooths away the mind ruts created by spinning around in our tiny circles of thought.
Our mothers were right when they told us to get out of the house – to go outside for awhile. Although it may have gotten us out from under their feet, it probably helped us find ours.
ACTION:
What would it take to get you outdoors today – and again tomorrow? And, I’m not talking about walking from the house to the vehicle and back again.
If you aren’t already doing so, look for those opportunities to take a few moments outside every day – even on days when it is too hot, too cool, too rainy, or too busy.
There are work-arounds for each of those obstacles. Too hot? Walk early or late. Too cool? Bundle up. Too rainy? Grab a poncho. Too busy? Combine a walk with a meeting or phone call.
Once you reap the benefits of getting yourself outdoors, you’ll wonder why you didn’t get out there sooner and more often.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” – Rachel Carson
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
See this article for examples of research on the positive impact of nature on connectedness and generosity: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33243959/ns/health-behavior/
REFLECTION: It seems like weather everywhere has been pretty wonky so far this year. Here in Saskatchewan we’ve experienced record rainfalls. The dreary, grey cloud cover that delivers the daily driving rain has put a tangible damper on mood.
That changed as the last few days finally brought bright sunshine and warmer temperatures. There is a palpable shift in mind-set as people spend more time in motion and out of doors. Suddenly, the world seems brighter. Problems seem lighter.
Physical activity is a well known contributor to mental health. Moving around outdoors delivers an even greater bonus. There’s a whole world out there to engage in, nature’s beauty to appreciate, and a universe sized space that puts human size problems in perspective. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.16 – What’s New?
June 9, 2010
REFLECTION:
What’s new? It’s a common enough greeting and an innocent enough question. Novelties – new information, new opportunities, new ideas – have a place in our lives. They generate energy, engagement and excitement about life’s possibilities.
However, a preoccupation with the latest, up-to-the-nano-second news can keep us from more meaningful, long-term pursuits.
Scientists looking at how we juggle the bombardment of email, phone calls and other inbound info are finding that our ability to focus is undermined by constantly reacting to these info bursts. We have more trouble sifting out irrelevant information, become more fractured in our thinking, and end up less focused on what we know in our clear thinking moments constitute our top priorities.
‘Incoming bits’ provoke an excitement akin to an adrenalin rush – and are just as addictive. As we become more obsessed with pursuing new bits of info, we are then less likely to stay the course – less likely to follow through putting older, more valuable information to work.
This incessant influx of information can work against our long term productivity and well being – and leave us more stressed, to boot. A University of California study found that people interrupted by e-mail reported significantly increased stress compared to those left alone to focus on the task at hand.
ACTION:
So, what’s the take away learning from the ‘latest’ research? It argues strongly in favor of judiciously pulling the plug on incoming news and views.
Don’t let your focus and energy be hijacked by nonstop missives arriving in your in box or voice mail.
At those times when you are intent on a high priority task or relationship, unplug the technology. Turn off the smart phone. Quell the twitter. Log off Facebook. Quash the news feed.
Temper your ‘reactive’ brain by removing temptations to distraction, and tend to what your ‘thinking’ brain has already declared is most important. Actually making progress on things that matter could turn out to be an adrenalin rush of an even more satisfying and enduring kind!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“We’ve got a large and growing group of people who think the slightest hint that something interesting might be going on is like catnip. They can’t ignore it.” – Clifford Nass, Stanford Communications Professor
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more on the plugged-in phenomenon and its impact see this New York Times article, ‘Hooked On Gadgets, and Paying A Mental Price’ at: http://tinyurl.com/2e4ru2l
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, “Settle Down – Settle In”, Pause reader MB writes: This morning your piece hit home for me. I came in to work with a mental list of all the things I must do, finish and make plans for, before attending a conference, visiting family members who have some serious health concerns, and then leaving on a week’s vacation with a friend who is struggling with several of life’s issues. So, before starting in to whittle away the items on the list, I took a 30 second breather. It helped me focus and relax and get my work done more effectively. I forwarded the message on to colleagues. I think as a group we could take a 30 second breather before meetings and maybe even in our group sessions with clients. Thanks for this timely reminder to settle down and settle in.
REFLECTION: What’s new? It’s a common enough greeting and an innocent enough question. Novelties – new information, new opportunities, new ideas – have a place in our lives. They generate energy, engagement and excitement about life’s possibilities.
However, a preoccupation with the latest, up-to-the-nano-second news can keep us from more meaningful, long-term pursuits.
Scientists looking at how we juggle the bombardment of email, phone calls and other inbound info are finding that our ability to focus is undermined by constantly reacting to these info bursts. We have more trouble sifting out irrelevant information, become more fractured in our thinking, and end up less focused on what we know in our clear thinking moments constitute our top priorities. (more…)
Multitasking Madness In Madrid
June 6, 2010
Let’s see. What’s wrong with this picture?
Pushing 50 kilos of cargo uphill single handedly
on a busy street in downtown Madrid.
As if that’s not enough, must take phone call right now!
PAUSE -10.15- Settle Down – Settle In
June 3, 2010
REFLECTION:
St James Independent, a boys’ school in London, starts each day with a formalized Pause. All 300 of the students gather in assembly to sit in silence, calm down and settle in for the day ahead. Now this is something I’d pay to see: 300 young boys sitting still for ten minutes – no talking, no fidgeting!
That’s not the only point of pause in the St James school day. Each class begins and ends with 30 seconds of silence – a chance for students to clear their minds and prepare for what comes next.
The headmaster of the school positions the practice as one of creating an oasis for learning and as an antidote to our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) way of being in the world – continuously plugged in and responding to outside stimulation.
ACTION:
What kind of practices have you already incorporated or could you start using more regularly to settle down and settle in for the everyday experiences of your life? It doesn’t have to be complicated.
* Sit down at your desk and sit back in your chair with eyes closed for a minute before diving in to your email, checking your to do list, or tackling the next task.
* Take a deep breath before answering the phone.
* Start a meeting with 30 seconds of silence. Give attendees a chance to shake off outside concerns and bring their attention to the room. Bodies may be in chairs, but minds may not be present.
Give these or other ideas a try and see what kind of presence and calm they bring to your day.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Quiet and stillness in our urban environments is a rare thing. Quiet and stillness in the human mind is even rarer.” – Ronski
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more on the St James approach, and other thoughts on pausing, silence and stillness, check out this BBC article at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8714177.stm
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, ‘Hold Lightly-Not Tightly’, Pause reader BT writes: I experience a similar pain when plans evaporate, as I am certainly one of those who creates expectations. The moment I realize that life’s events have led me away from plans, I feel disappointed, confused and angry at whatever I feel is responsible for the derailment.
I started telling myself “no plans – no disappointment”. But that just left me empty, as I lost the pleasure of the anticipation. I soon realized that, although I was not responsible for the change in events, I was responsible for the way I was feeling.
Life sometimes has a slightly different path planned for us; and we just have to realize we must steer in a slightly different direction. Hold Lightly – Not Tightly is now another tool I will use, along with always having a plan B in circumstances that hold a certain level of unpredictability. Thank you for adding to my life’s tool box.
REFLECTION: St James Independent, a boys’ school in London, starts each day with a formalized Pause. All 300 of the students gather in assembly to sit in silence, calm down and settle in for the day ahead. Now this is something I’d pay to see: 300 young boys sitting still for ten minutes – no talking, no fidgeting!
That’s not the only point of pause in the St James school day. Each class begins and ends with 30 seconds of silence – a chance for students to clear their minds and prepare for what comes next.
The headmaster of the school positions the practice as one of creating an oasis for learning and as an antidote to our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) way of being in the world – continuously plugged in and responding to outside stimulation. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.12 – Making Your Mark
April 7, 2010
REFLECTION:
I paused on this morning’s riverbank walk for a moment to perch on a frost covered bench and soak up a bit of sunshine. When I arose I (or at least my jacket) had soaked up more than the sunshine. Frost be gone! That spot on the bench was white no more.
I found myself wondering, “Could making your mark on the world really be that easy?”
So often we look at impacting the world around us as tricky, time consuming, and complicated. Having an impact is seen as something to be planned, pursued and executed with ferocity and intensity.
Well, maybe there are more ease-filled options in front of us or around us all the time. In our haste to push through and carry on, we may miss the opportunity completely.
ACTION:
What frosty situations are you facing? Strained relationships? Tangled problems? Off-track projects? Commitment overload?
What might actually be resolved, if you simply paused for a moment? Sat down solo to rest your burden and consider your options – or sat informally with someone else for a relaxed conversation about the issue at hand?
Sometimes the natural warmth of connection and the relaxed energy of presence thaws the iciest situations. You may discover inherent bench strength you haven’t even begun to tap.
Give yourself the gift of a moment. Sit. Relax. Pause. Ponder. Thaw out a problem or two. Carry on your way.
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” – George Bernard Shaw
“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” – Roger Babson
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I learned many important lessons about the impact of pause by participating in regular Balance Days with two of my friends and colleagues. For ten years, the three of us met at the turn of the seasons and invested a few hours or a full day in reflection and renewal. The experience taught us a lot about presence and ease and their positive impact on our lives.
You’ll find the story of our experience and a process for creating your own Balance Day triad experience in the Balance Day Guide & Journal, now available for purchase from the Pause Shop in electronic pdf download format. Check it out at: http://www.pauseworks.com/shop/publications.php#balance
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, The Acceleration Trap, Pause reader JK writes: Your message today was very timely. Here are a couple of side effects of overload on an organization that were not mentioned in your article. I have experienced these first-hand.
Rapid change means insufficient time to communicate changes to employees. Lack of communication creates an atmosphere where rumors become the source of (mis)information. This leads to a drop in morale.
How can employees be expected to maintain high levels of performance when change is happening so fast they don’t have time to adapt? This is happening more and more in all industries. Maybe, everyone – including the organization- needs to slow down.
REFLECTION: I paused on this morning’s riverbank walk for a moment to perch on a frost covered bench and soak up a bit of sunshine. When I arose I (or at least my jacket) had soaked up more than the sunshine. Frost be gone! That spot on the bench was white no more.
I found myself wondering, “Could making your mark on the world really be that easy?”
So often we look at impacting the world around us as tricky, time consuming, and complicated. Having an impact is seen as something to be planned, pursued and executed with ferocity and intensity.
Well, maybe there are more ease-filled options in front of us or around us all the time. In our haste to push through and carry on, we may miss the opportunity completely. (more…)
