Some days it seems like life is one big pinball experience. You blast into action with a big rush of energy towards your main goal for the day. Within moments an unexpected problem forces you off course. While your attention shifts in the direction of the diversion, phone calls, email, and drop-ins further deflect your concentration from the task at hand. Just as you give your head a shake and circle back around to where you started, you find yourself drawn to a shiny distraction that you hadn’t noted before. And so it goes.
The game continues. You ping, pong, bounce, and rebound your way through the day, seemingly at the mercy of external impediments and obstacles that may or may not have anything to do with your initial intent.
Been there? Done that?
(BTW, if you are of a certain age where pinball is a foreign word, you’ll find it described on Wiki at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinball).
What’s the difference between the game of pinball and life as a pinball experience? In the game you get points for crazed careening. Keep the play in motion without tilting, and you not only rack up high scores, but you also get to play keep on playing.
In pinball as life, crazed careening also keeps us ‘playing’ – sometimes late into the evening hours. However, as we tilt in multiple directions, our productivity sinks and satisfaction flounders – despite massive injections of energy along the way.
ACTION:
Here are a few strategies that can help you make more satisfying progress in a pinball world where obstructions continuously pop into play:
* Start with an intention to be more focused and composed. It will heighten the quality of attention you bring to tasks at hand and reduce your susceptibility to distraction.
* Build in ‘think time’ early in the day and make ‘get back on track’ investments of time as the day unfolds.
* Limit inflow distractions whenever possible. There isn’t a cell phone or computer ‘alive’ that can force you to look its way unless you give it that power over your attention. Check for new input and info when it suits you – not on the whim of the machine.
* Be thoughtful about the number of meetings and appointments you schedule in the course of a day. Nonstop back to back confabs will keep you bouncing between engagements with little time for thoughtful preparation or follow through.
* Develop one or two no-fail strategies to catch your breath and calm yourself down when the pace of play sends stress levels into the stratosphere. You’ll need them to stay in the game!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Whatever you want to accomplish, whatever is important to you, do it and do it now – with as much grace, intensity, and sense of ease as you can muster.” – Marc Lesser
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Check out Marc Lesser’s book: “LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less”. 2009. New World Library. You can get a sense of Marc’s voice from his blog at: http://doingless.net/blog
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s Pause message, Valentine Reflections, reader CD writes: “Thanks for the relationship reminders, Pat! The one that resonates most for me (married almost 20 years) is – tell your partner what you want/need. I think many of us, especially women, have hopes and dreams
for our relationships, but feel like if we have to tell our partners, it won’t be meaningful if they happen. I have told many of my younger friends “tell him what you want”! Would it be nice for him to divine
that information? Sure. But 9 times out of 10 it won’t happen, and this creates resentments that really aren’t fair.”
REFLECTION: Some days it seems like life is one big pinball experience. You blast into action with a big rush of energy towards your main goal for the day. Within moments an unexpected problem forces you off course. While your attention shifts in the direction of the diversion, phone calls, email, and drop-ins further deflect your concentration from the task at hand. Just as you give your head a shake and circle back around to where you started, you find yourself drawn to a shiny distraction that you hadn’t noted before. And so it goes.
The game continues. You ping, pong, bounce, and rebound your way through the day, seemingly at the mercy of external impediments and obstacles that may or may not have anything to do with your initial intent.
Life Balance Leadership: Ease the Load & Lead the Way is the title of my upcoming public seminar offered through the U of S Business & Leadership Programs here in Saskatoon on March 11th. If you or your team are challenged by overload and overwhelm, you’ll find this program is chock full of insights and solutions to help you deal with it all in a more sane and successful way. Check details and register at: http://learntolead.usask.ca/easetheload.html Hope to see you there.
Life Balance Leadership: Ease the Load & Lead the Way is the title of my upcoming public seminar offered through the U of S Business & Leadership Programs here in Saskatoon on March 11th.
If you or your team are challenged by overload and overwhelm, you’ll find this program is chock full of insights and solutions to help you deal with it all in a more sane and successful way.
As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. In the Readers’ Write section of today’s message, you’ll find a link to a collection of Pause Reader relationship advice.
Many of you also asked me to pretty up the Ten Lessons List a bit so you could: post it on your fridge, tack it to your bulletin board, share it with your partner, or tuck it into wedding gifts for other couples just starting out.
My Valentine’s gift to you is a formatted poster style version of those Lessons Learned. You’ll find a link to a printable pdf below in the Resource Of The Week. Enjoy and share as you wish.
ACTION:
Relationships are such an important part of life. Pause this week to appreciate those friends, partners, colleagues and family members who contribute so much to your life. If you haven’t done so recently, take a moment to let them know how much they mean to you.
I guarantee it will be time well spent. You’ll never regret making the time to let someone know you care. You may, however, regret letting the busy-ness of life force aside your best intentions to speak up.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” – Author Unknown
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Link to the Lessons Learned poster: http://www.pauseworks.com/library/articles/loves_lessons_learned.pdf
REFLECTION: As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
Those of you who are long term Pause readers may recall that last year this time, my early February Pause message featured a list of relationship lessons learned from 35 years of married life. That edition of Pause elicited quite a strong and positive response.
At that time, a number of you wrote to share your own relationship lessons and advice. I promised to pass your comments along. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this seems to be the perfect time to do so. (more…)
Paintings From Points South
February 3, 2010
One of the best parts of any travel adventure these days is the chance to give my paints and brushes a workout. Here are a few of the results.
Willemstad, Curacao – Brightly colored buildings along Anna Baie on the Punda side of the floating bridge. Apparently years ago the Governor’s eyes were bothered by the light reflecting off the white buildings and ordered them all to be painted different colours. I think maybe he was just longing for something a bit more European in flavour.
Hilton Marina – Fort Lauderdale. Picture pretty poolside.
Key West, Florida – In the garden of the Mermaid and Alligator Bed & Breakfast. It’s a great garden setting – with orchids in bloom spilling out of pots and hanging from pillars. And yes, it is the middle of winter here.
Key West, Florida – The Artist’s House on Eaton Street. I’m not normally a fan of purple, but something about the shape and shutters on this building caught my eye. The Traveling Conch Tourist train made three passes, while I perched across the street with my paints.
Mind’s Eye Snapshots
January 30, 2010
Some of the best moments of any vacation are those in which you don’t have camera at hand to capture the image. Thank goodness the mind’s eye works.
Here are some of my favorite mental snaps so far:
– the moment when we met up with Tristan and Marc in Fort Lauderdale, exchanged hugs, and the vacation really began
– diving into the warm ocean waters at Half Moon Cay and wading out with seaweed in my hair
– stretched out on the netting at the front of the catamaran floating and flying above the Caribbean Sea
– spotting a dinner plate sized blue and gold discus type fish while snorkelling off Aruba
– the exhilaration of that first traverse on a zip line soaring over the rain forest canopy in Costa Rica
Ah, sweet adventures!
PAUSE -10.03- Meltdowns Optional
January 20, 2010
REFLECTION:
One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call.
Initially, I did not respond that well. Although the new baby is, of course, under warranty and the repairs will be made at no additional cost, we had invested a significant amount of time in the system transfer and set up. It appeared that investment would be time and energy down the drain.
When the breakdown occurred, I found myself flipping into R&R mode: Regret and Recriminations. Should have done X! Could have done Y! Why didn’t we try Z? Why did this happen to me? All pointless machinations, of course, and an even more colossal waste of energy.
ACTION:
The good news is that I didn’t stay stuck in letdown limbo for long. Somehow reason prevailed. I was able to remind myself that just because my computer had a meltdown, it didn’t mean that I had to follow suit.
When life’s experiences go sideways, here’s a formula for a healthy response with relative time frames:
Accept reality – 30 minutes
Rant, rave, wail & gnash teeth – 30 seconds
Review options – 30 minutes
Choose action – 30 seconds
Get on with it – Pronto!
* Actual time approximate – but proportions accurate. If you get my drift!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Just because your computer (microwave, car, firstborn, fill in your nemesis here: _____) has a meltdown, it didn’t mean that you have to follow suit.” – Yours Truly
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
I’ve long been a fan of Loretta LaRoche and her zany take on life’s stressors. I recently enjoyed dipping into her latest offering: “Juicy Living, Juicy Aging – Kick Up Your Heels … Before You’re Too Short To Wear Them”. Hay House, 2007.
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READERS WRITE:
In response to the recent e-zine on ‘Saying Yes’, Pause reader JO writes: I enjoyed the newsletter that commented on saying yes and saying no. Many of us who are customer centric often say yes first. It can be the automatic response that comes from a sincere desire to help. Always saying yes can however lead to too much on the plate!
A few years ago when I was recovering from some surgery and coming back to work full time, it was very important for me to set boundaries. The counsellor I was working with suggested that I give myself time to reflect on requests. It was important that I measure my energy at various parts of the day to see what my capabilities were.
This is the lesson I learned that I still use today. In response to a request, say maybe or I’ll consider this. That response gives me the pause time to reflect, and if I have to say no, or not at this time, it’s easier going.
REFLECTION: One of my end of year actions was the purchase of a new desktop computer. The actual transition of files and applications from old to new went relatively smoothly. I was delighted by the larger, brighter screen and the faster processing.
However, the delight soon faded when it turned out my new baby was a touch temperamental. She would shift from humming along happily to spiking a fever and spinning her wheels. Wheel spinning was punctuated by intermittent brain freezes, during which all the clicking and cajoling in the world could not raise a response.
It soon became evident a trip to the ER (Electronic Rehab) unit was in order. And, as I write this, my new baby languishes in the queue, waiting to be examined by the Doc on call. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.02 – Mini Retreats
January 13, 2010
REFLECTION: One of the cool things about writing and speaking on a particular topic (like I have with Pause for almost a decade now), is that others who are working in related areas seek you out.
In the last few months, I’ve been privy to advance drafts of two new books on stress and renewal. Today, I want to highlight for you one of those offerings.
Julia James, a life coach based in Vancouver, has just released her book called, ‘The Mini-Retreat Solution – How to Relax & Refresh Anytime, Anywhere’. In addition to reinforcing the case for taking time out in the midst of busy lives, Julia offers 80 specific suggestions for mini retreats (small bits of time out that you incorporate throughout the day). For easy reference, the mini-retreats are grouped by time of day (morning, lunch, evening) and situation (in transit, at the office, in the community). (more…)
More Than A Tweet
January 13, 2010
I facilitated a day long leader development session on Tuesday with about 20 people. We took a few breaks through the day – 2 minutes – 5 minutes – 10 minutes – whatever seemed appropriate at the time.
EVERY time I called a break, a good 80% of the attendees whipped out their phones to check God knows what! And having checked, most determined that their entire break should be devoted to tending the text and avoiding interaction with their peers in the room. No, they were not all introverts!
I felt very sad about the absence of what used to be an important part of educational sessions – a chance to network with others, find out what is on their minds, develop original thoughts. It makes me worry for our future in organizations. If we only know each other by the tops of our heads – and not through our eyes, or what’s on our minds – what investment will we really have in each other’s success or well-being?
And then, if I post this on my blog or Facebook or Linked In, will I find that others share the same concern, or, will I just be fueling our electronic addictions?
Yes or No?
January 11, 2010
Continuing the theme of the week – will it be yes or no? Here’s a Harvard Business Review guest blog by Alexandra Samuel titled, ‘This Year, Saying Yes to Saying No‘ .
Alexandra supports, as do I, thoughtfulness at the core of every decision.
Pause Video – Saying Yes
January 7, 2010
Here’s the latest edition of Pause in video form. Enjoy!
REFLECTION: Some days it seems like life is one big pinball experience. You blast into action with a big rush of energy towards your main goal for the day. Within moments an unexpected problem forces you off course. While your attention shifts in the direction of the diversion, phone calls, email, and drop-ins further deflect your concentration from the task at hand. Just as you give your head a shake and circle back around to where you started, you find yourself drawn to a shiny distraction that you hadn’t noted before. And so it goes.
REFLECTION: As I write this week’s Pause message, I am back in snowy Saskatoon after a two week break in the sunny south. Dave and I cruised the Caribbean for 10 days (joined by our eldest daughter and son in law) and then spent 4 days on our own exploring Key West, Florida. We celebrated our 36th anniversary in Key West with a wine and wind sunset cruise on Danger’s schooner, the Prize. A great experience all round!
REFLECTION: One of the cool things about writing and speaking on a particular topic (like I have with Pause for almost a decade now), is that others who are working in related areas seek you out.
I facilitated a day long leader development session on Tuesday with about 20 people. We took a few breaks through the day – 2 minutes – 5 minutes – 10 minutes – whatever seemed appropriate at the time.