It’s been an active spring here with program design and delivery, travelling for work and pleasure, shepherding my next book through its the final stages of design, and tending the yard and garden. As a result, I’ve been feeling twinges that tell me I’m growing out of touch with friends and family.
And so, over the last few weeks I’ve been consciously making efforts to reach out – to act on those urges to reconnect. When J left email and phone messages on my birthday, I called her back and we had a great voice to voice visit that ended in plans to get together later this summer. When C responded to the contents of a Pause message with an email message carrying news of her own, I picked up the phone and we had a great half hour catching up voice to voice.
When I realized how long it had been since L and I had visited, on spec that she might be in town, I called to see if she was up for lunch. She was, we did, and I remembered why face to face visits and time spent with friends are so uplifting and affirming. When I noticed my sister in Saudi had just posted a message to Facebook, I messaged to see if she was free. She was, and we enjoyed a one hour Skype visit – voice to voice and face to face – catching up on each other’s news.
In every case, I ended up delighted with the exchange that followed from acting on that urge to reconnect. And, I’m feeling much more in touch and in tune.
ACTION:
With whom are you longing to connect? Who is so often on your mind and on your radar, but so rarely on your call list or social calendar?
Pick one person. Make that call. Lift your spirits – and theirs.
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“Go often to the house of your friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.” – Scandanavian proverb
“Friends, family, and a quiet mind are your true wealth.” – Robert Allen
“There are people who take the heart out of you and there are people who put it back.” – Elizabeth David
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more good ideas on regaining balance in life, check out this HealthQuest article from WarrenShepell sharing ideas for how to Take Control Of Your Life! at http://shepellfgiservices.com/articles/takecontrol.asp
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READERS WRITE:
Last week’s Pause message, “It’s All Good…Or Is It?” generated quite a strong response. I’ve pulled together a sampling of comments and posted them all together on the Pause Blog. Hop on over for a closer read at: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/?p=2339
REFLECTION: It’s been an active spring here with program design and delivery, travelling for work and pleasure, shepherding my next book through its the final stages of design, and tending the yard and garden. As a result, I’ve been feeling twinges that tell me I’m growing out of touch with friends and family.
And so, over the last few weeks I’ve been consciously making efforts to reach out – to act on those urges to reconnect. When J left email and phone messages on my birthday, I called her back and we had a great voice to voice visit that ended in plans to get together later this summer. When C responded to the contents of a Pause message with an email message carrying news of her own, I picked up the phone and we had a great half hour catching up voice to voice.
When I realized how long it had been since L and I had visited, on spec that she might be in town, I called to see if she was up for lunch. She was, we did, and I remembered why face to face visits and time spent with friends are so uplifting and affirming. When I noticed my sister in Saudi had just posted a message to Facebook, I messaged to see if she was free. She was, and we enjoyed a one hour Skype visit – voice to voice and face to face – catching up on each other’s news.
In every case, I ended up delighted with the exchange that followed as a result of acting on that urge to reconnect. And, I’m feeling much more in touch and in tune. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.28 – Take The 33:30 Challenge
June 7, 2011
REFLECTION: I love it when seminar and conference participants share their stories and struggles with balance. It helps ease the pressure for us to hear of each other’s challenges and to know we’re not alone in our wacky responses to life’s stresses.
At a recent conference, I shared a few examples of the crazymaking things people do in their attempts to speed their way through the overloaded demands of the day. (If you’d like a refresher on this, check out my ‘Crazymaking World’ video clip on the Pauseworks website. )
During the morning break it was attendee Carol’s turn to make me laugh. She told me that when she wants to give something a half a minute in the microwave she punches in 33 seconds. She swears it’s faster to punch the same digit twice than to waste time looking for the 3 and the 0! I’m pretty sure 33 would be slightly faster. But the real question of importance is: “Does it make life slightly better?”
Carol also responded to a vignette I’d relayed of a busy parent screaming through the front door at day’s end – kicking backpacks and jackets out of the way and shouting out homework and supper instructions to the kids. Apparently this had been her style of re-entry, too, until the day her teenager asked, “Mom, do you walk through the door yelling even when there’s no one home?”
It was one of those ‘hold the mirror’, ‘dagger to the heart’ moments that caused Carol to stop and take a closer look at herself through the eyes of those who matter most. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.20 – Surviving Mini-Marathons
March 15, 2011
REFLECTION: Have you run any mini-marathons lately? Not the athletic type – just the plain old challenging lifestyle version.
I’ve just come through an especially active couple of weeks, myself. During the first ten days of March, I was on my feet speaking at conferences and facilitating seminars for seven of those days. Two days each included an opening keynote and three follow up sessions – for a total of 13 individual presentations during that span of time. I usually limit myself to no more than two or three days of presenting each week, so this was extraordinarily compressed.
No one forced me to book this work in this way. As someone who is self employed, I’m directly responsible for what makes its way on to my calendar. This time around I agreed to this number of sessions because: the travel and timing pieces fit well together, the work itself was very appealing, I knew I could carve out prep time in advance and set aside recovery time at the end of the run, and because I’m aware that an upcoming planned get-away will limit available spring programming days.
Yes, there were surprises – crazy weather and dental emergencies amongst them. (more…)
PAUSE – 11.19 – Stopping Starting
March 8, 2011
REFLECTION: More than one study has confirmed that backlogs are an everyday fact of life in today’s overcommitted workplaces – not to mention on the home and community fronts. Despite the fact that we have an inordinate number of irons in the fire at any one time, that doesn’t seem to prevent us from adding more.
Personally, I’ve got a tall stack of books waiting for my attention. That hasn’t stopped me from firing off orders to Amazon or Chapters for yet another interesting volume or two. I’ve got a number of articles partly written, and program ideas partially developed. That doesn’t stop me from grabbing another scrap of paper and scratching out a few thoughts about yet another fresh idea. Over the years, I’ve registered a number of web domain names that seemed like an inspired idea at the time, and then let them languish for lack of attention.
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
January, for many, is a time of resolve. We create highly ambitious, jam-packed action lists of goals. In the end, we lose our focus or beat ourselves up as our super-human promises fall by the wayside.
The way I think about this practice has shifted over time. I have come to understand that HOW WE ARE in this world (our mindset – our character) is every bit as important as WHAT WE DO. And so, in recent years I’ve chosen to set one strong intention for being and not to create an exhaustive laundry list of resolutions for doing. Sure, I still make plans and set goals, but HOW I approach the demands of each day gets top billing. (more…)
PAUSE -10.32- Make Renewing Pauses Your 90 Minute Habit
November 2, 2010
REFLECTION:
You’re working away – head down – afterburners aflame. You’ve been making great progress and, blessedly, the interruptions have been few. Still, after an hour and a half or so, you start feeling restless. Your attention begins to wander. And, you find yourself becoming a touch irritable and impatient.
Why are you having trouble with focus when the stars are aligned for work? It could be your internal body rhythms clamoring for your attention.
The human body isn’t built for nonstop high performance. We do a better job of maintaining energy over the long haul when periods of focused concentration are offset by time out for renewal.
There are parallels in other life situations. For example, a race car driver’s success depends on fast, high speed performance on the track. But an equally important part of that racer’s success is knowing when to pull off the track and into the pit for adjustments and repairs. Ignore, postpone or cancel the pit stops, and the race is lost.
Top performers in all kinds of fields tend to work in approximately 90 minute cycles – sprints if you will. They shift back and forth between periods of intense effort offset by periods of purposeful renewal.
A key word here is purposeful. The impact of automatically grabbing a caffeine or sugar hit, or giving yourself a ‘rev it up’ pep talk to drive your energy back up the ergometer, will be short lived. Many of these ‘short term quick fix’ energizers fizzle fast and end up harmful in the long term.
Plan for variety and be more intentional in choosing your renewing pauses. For instance, if you’re focused on developing a project plan or writing a report, you’ll be expending a lot of mental energy. During your break, you might engage in a contrasting way – move your body (walk or stretch) or connect socially with others (share a chat or a joke).
The length of a pause is not as critical as the regularity. Make sure you DO step away from the work, and that you choose the best recharging option for your needs and your situation.
ACTION:
With the fast pace and high expectations of today’s workplace, many people abandon the practice of taking breaks. If that’s the case for you and your colleagues, share these ideas with them, and build support for each other. Talk about the kinds of renewing breaks you can try solo or with others that might make sense in your world.
Set an alarm or reminder to interrupt you at 90 minute intervals – or at the very least mid morning and mid afternoon. It’s easy to get caught up in the press and flow of the work, so help each other to step away before exhaustion and inefficiency set in.
With regular bits of time away, you’ll return to the work at hand with fresh energy and be able to maintain a higher level of focus and concentration for the long haul.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“The higher the demand, the greater and more frequent the need for renewal.” – Tony Schwartz
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
For more on the impact on productivity of time out for renewal, check out this article, The Productivity Myth, from the Harvard Business Review Blog at: http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2010/05/the-productivity-myth.html
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, Along For The Ride Or Deeply Engaged, Pause reader DB writes: “What an awesome opportunity! I’m so glad you took advantage of it and shared it with us, your readers. This reminded me of my own experience. One Sunday morning several years ago, when I asked an old farmer at church how harvest was going, he asked if I’d ever been on a combine. When I said no, he asked if I’d like to go for a ride with him. I did and absolutely loved it. He let me take the wheel and began patiently teaching me and answering my questions. What a thrill for this city bred girl! Would you believe that for the past 3 years, ever since I retired from teaching school, I’ve been operating his combine in the fall and his harrow/packer during spring seeding? Like your captain, he noticed my interest, extended an invitation and taught me bit by bit until I felt both comfortable and competent behind the wheel. My life has been so enriched because of it.”
REFLECTION: You’re working away – head down – afterburners aflame. You’ve been making great progress and, blessedly, the interruptions have been few. Still, after an hour and a half or so, you start feeling restless. Your attention begins to wander. And, you find yourself becoming a touch irritable and impatient.
Why are you having trouble with focus when the stars are aligned for work? It could be your internal body rhythms clamoring for your attention.
The human body isn’t built for nonstop high performance. We do a better job of maintaining energy over the long haul when periods of focused concentration are offset by time out for renewal.
There are parallels in other life situations. For example, a race car driver’s success depends on fast, high speed performance on the track. But an equally important part of that racer’s success is knowing when to pull off the track and into the pit for adjustments and repairs. Ignore, postpone or cancel the pit stops, and the race is lost.
Top performers in all kinds of fields tend to work in approximately 90 minute cycles – sprints if you will. They shift back and forth between periods of intense effort offset by periods of purposeful renewal. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.24 – Urgent … Or Not?
August 24, 2010
REFLECTION:
In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.
Thinking, perhaps, I’d unearthed a gem of remembrance, I dropped the film off at the photo counter at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart on my way home around 6:00 the next evening. The young woman behind the counter assured me that they did still handle that kind of film.
Then she immediately apologized that it would not be possible for her to turn the order around within the hour as she had several other jobs backlogged and was closing at 8:00. She further noted, again falling all over herself in apology, that she was pretty sure she could have the prints ready by noon the next day.
I laughed and reassured her that since the film had been hanging around for at least 12 years, I could easily wait a few more days – or even weeks for that matter. She looked surprised at my reaction. Apparently she serves a lot of people who have ‘last minute – must rush’ photo emergencies!
ACTION:
Have you noticed how our expectations about turn-around times have ramped up in recent years? Even tasks that hold no pressing deadline are presented or interpreted as obviously urgent.
Somehow we have it in our heads that tackling tasks at the last moment is a fact of life, that urgency and high performance go hand in hand, and that quality service is defined by speed and speed alone.
Pay close attention this week to expectations about task turn-around in your work and personal life. Don’t crank up the speedometer in situations where the task is less than urgent. Stop to ask about tasks shunted your way that appear to have ASAP labels firmly attached.
Chances are good that there’s wiggle room in at least some of the timelines. That extra margin might be just what you need to feel more in control of the load and less stressed by unnecessary ‘quick time’ expectations. And, committing that extra margin of time to tasks that really matter might short circuit a major last minute urgency somewhere down the road.
PS – Wondering about the pics from 1998? Turns out I had printed them before – images from a convention in Philadelphia and summer vacation at Waskesiu. Fun to see them again, anyway! The film cannister is now in the garbage!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Apparently the proverbial Chinese and Greeks are in agreement in preferring patience over haste:
“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” Chinese Proverb
“One minute of patience, ten years of peace.” – Greek Proverb
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Seth Godin’s treatise on the shortcomings of urgency as an action default: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2005/08/hurry.html
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LAST CALL:
This is the final week to e-mail me a photo of your best smile – or someone else’s best smile. In September, I’ll pull together a shareable slide show/video to brighten everyone’s day. I’m loving the pics that have arrived so far. You will, too! Can’t wait to see your contributions!
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, The Maturity Advantage, Pause reader JJ writes: Your comments remind me of the need to be able to identify and separate real problems from inconveniences. My husband and I often use the term “6 o’clock news” (as heard in a speech by corporate comedian Mark Mayfield) as a way of forcing ourselves and each other to stop and think of the true nature of the issue.
Is this ‘issue’ something that would qualify as truly newsworthy: your child is lost at the mall or your
employer just went bankrupt. Or do you initially just perceive the ‘inconvenience’ to be more important than it really is: your child just spilled juice all over the floor or you are in a hurry and have to wait in a long lineup?
“6 o’clock news” helps you put things in perspective. I challenge you to try it out…next time someone around you is upset about something, just say “6 o’clock news” in a loud enough voice to make them stop and think. It has worked every time for us.
REFLECTION: In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.
Thinking, perhaps, I’d unearthed a gem of remembrance, I dropped the film off at the photo counter at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart on my way home around 6:00 the next evening. The young woman behind the counter assured me that they did still handle that kind of film.
Then she immediately apologized that it would not be possible for her to turn the order around within the hour as she had several other jobs backlogged and was closing at 8:00. She further noted, again falling all over herself in apology, that she was pretty sure she could have the prints ready by noon the next day.
I laughed and reassured her that since the film had been hanging around for at least 12 years, I could easily wait a few more days – or even weeks for that matter. She looked surprised at my reaction. Apparently she serves a lot of people who have ‘last minute – must rush’ photo emergencies! (more…)
REFLECTION: It’s been an active spring here with program design and delivery, travelling for work and pleasure, shepherding my next book through its the final stages of design, and tending the yard and garden. As a result, I’ve been feeling twinges that tell me I’m growing out of touch with friends and family.
REFLECTION: I love it when seminar and conference participants share their stories and struggles with balance. It helps ease the pressure for us to hear of each other’s challenges and to know we’re not alone in our wacky responses to life’s stresses.
REFLECTION: Have you run any mini-marathons lately? Not the athletic type – just the plain old challenging lifestyle version.
REFLECTION: More than one study has confirmed that backlogs are an everyday fact of life in today’s overcommitted workplaces – not to mention on the home and community fronts. Despite the fact that we have an inordinate number of irons in the fire at any one time, that doesn’t seem to prevent us from adding more.
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
REFLECTION: You’re working away – head down – afterburners aflame. You’ve been making great progress and, blessedly, the interruptions have been few. Still, after an hour and a half or so, you start feeling restless. Your attention begins to wander. And, you find yourself becoming a touch irritable and impatient.
REFLECTION: In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.