REFLECTION: Broker world peace. Jump-start the economy. Cure cancer. Eliminate poverty. Save the planet.
The range of global concerns seems endless. Even our more modest individual goals and ambitions can end up supersized to the max. As inspiring and enervating as big hairy audacious goals can be, they also carry significant weight. And, shouldering the weight of the world can feel overwhelming, crippling and exhausting.
That’s why a FaceBook post this week by my Halifax friend and speaker colleague, Peter Davison, struck me so positively.
Peter wrote: Go forth, do good, return home, stay blessed. Repeat as necessary.
It’s an approach to daily life and a plan of action that’s blazingly simple and eminently doable. (more…)
PAUSE -11.02- A Slice Of Humble Pie
January 11, 2011
REFLECTION:
Last fall, I gifted my grandson with a subscription to a popular children’s magazine. I received, in return, a postcard to send the little guy indicating that the magazines would soon be on their way. I mailed him the postcard and also told him what to expect.
When I checked repeatedly with his Mom through the late fall and early winter about whether the magazines had started arriving, the answer was always no. In fact, they never even received the postcard announcement of the gift itself.
So, now, three months later, I finally decided it was time to call the magazine offices and demand an explanation. Irritated would be a pretty accurate description of my state of mind. I grew even more irritated by the time I held through the voice mail queue to lodge my complaint with James, a real live agent. bI laid out my problem fact by fact – in a tone that may have held just the slightest of edges.
On looking up my subscription account number, James immediately explained the situation. Turns out I had provided the right street address, but the wrong postal code, so the magazines had bounced back as undeliverable. The third time this happened, the distributor investigated, discovered the error, corrected the postal code, and had already graciously extended the subscription by the missing three months. The first magazine of the new year was already on its way to the corrected destination.
I thanked James for handling the situation so well, and apologized for my error. All set to point the finger of blame, I had no one to aim it at but myself.
ACTION:
I know I’m not the only person out there prone to jumping to conclusions. You may have experienced ‘a leap of sanctimony’ a time or two yourself. Self righteous indignation raises its ugly head in small ways and large ways both in the workplace and on the homefront. And, it’s such a colossal waste of energy with a strong likelihood of collateral damage.
Here are my reminder ‘Note To Self’ rules for tackling life’s sticky altercations:
* Speak up sooner rather than later when something goes awry.
* Don’t automatically ascribe incompetence on the part of others.
* Never assume that an error is entirely someone else’s fault.
* Explore what part I may have played in causing the problem.
* Be prepared to take or share responsibility for making things right.
P.S. In case it’s been a while, and you might have forgotten, I can tell you that humble pie has a unique flavor all its own!
________________________
QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up.” – John C. Maxwell
I would rather the man who presents something for my consideration subject me to a zephyr of truth and a gentle breeze of responsibility rather than blow me down with a curtain of hot wind.” – Grover Cleveland
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, What’s Your Intention, Pause reader JG writes: This message is so fortuitous. I was just discussing choosing a word for the year with a friend. I realized I had already chosen mine while writing in my journal at year’s end. My word is LIGHT. To me it means to let the light in, spirituality, physically and emotionally; to follow my light; to share my light with the world; and to lighten up and enjoy the ride, to see the lighter side of things. I put this in motion by easing myself back into things on my first day back at work in a fairly stressed environment. I took the first half hour to read and lighten my expectations. I invited staff out for coffee first thing in the morning to lighten up the start to the work week. I lightened up our regularly scheduled meetings. And, on a personal note, I am lightening up on what I eat for supper (more salads please) and will hopefully lighten up the reading on the scale after my Christmas indulgences.
PS 2 – If you’ve been pondering your word for the year, I can tell you that these are some of the words that Pause readers tell me they have chosen to guide their direction for 2011: Thankfulness, Focus, Change, Reinforcement, Adventure, Reflection, Patience, Connection, and Gratitude
REFLECTION: Last fall, I gifted my grandson with a subscription to a popular children’s magazine. I received, in return, a postcard to send the little guy indicating that the magazines would soon be on their way. I mailed him the postcard and also told him what to expect.
When I checked repeatedly with his Mom through the late fall and early winter about whether the magazines had started arriving, the answer was always no. In fact, they never even received the postcard announcement of the gift itself.
So, now, three months later, I finally decided it was time to call the magazine offices and demand an explanation. Irritated would be a pretty accurate description of my state of mind. I grew even more irritated by the time I held through the voice mail queue to eventually lodge my complaint with James, a real live agent. I laid out my problem fact by fact – in a tone that may have held just the slightest of edges.
On looking up my subscription account number, James immediately explained the situation. (more…)
‘Box Of Crayons’ Offers Words Of Inspiration For 2011
January 5, 2011
Michael Bungay Stanier, author of More Great Work, and founder of ‘Box of Crayons’ offers this cool 48 second video with words of inspiration for 2011. Great words – great ideas – great work.
PAUSE -11.01- What’s Your Intention?
January 4, 2011
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
January, for many, is a time of resolve. We create highly ambitious, jam-packed action lists of goals. In the end, we lose our focus or beat ourselves up as our super-human promises fall by the wayside.
The way I think about this practice has shifted over time. I have come to understand that HOW WE ARE in this world (our mindset – our character) is every bit as important as WHAT WE DO. And so, in recent years I’ve chosen to set one strong intention for being and not to create an exhaustive laundry list of resolutions for doing. Sure, I still make plans and set goals, but HOW I approach the demands of each day gets top billing. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.38 – Kindness
December 21, 2010
REFLECTION:
As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your life, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011.
Wishing you all the best from my family to yours.
Kindly and paus-atively yours, Pat
***
Kindness is never wasted. If it has no effect on the recipient, at least it benefits the bestower. – S. H. Simmons
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
One kind word can warm three winter months. – Japanese proverb
Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. – Robert Braul
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. – Mark Twain
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. – Seneca
The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. – William Wordsworth
Forget injuries; never forget kindness. – Confucious
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. – Mother Teresa
I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. – William Penn
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu
Be generous with kindly words, especially about those who are absent. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes. – Joseph B. Wirthlin
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. – William Arthur Ward
And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things. – Martin Scorsese
It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder’. – Aldous Huxley
Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world. – Annie Lennox
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
This year, the word kindness springs to mind. Throughout 2010, I have experienced many kindnesses – large and small. I hope that has been the case in your world, too.
May these thoughts on kindness light a candle of compassion in us all – bringing a warmth and generosity of spirit that burns brightly through the end of the year and long into 2011. (more…)
PAUSE -10.37- The Gift Of Trust
December 14, 2010
HAPPY NEWS:
Last week in Montreal, at the Annual Convention of CAPS (the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers), I was honored with an induction into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame. For more details, video and pics see the blog posting at: http://www.pauseworks.com/wp/?p=1845
REFLECTION:
In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
Tip number one advises giving the gift of trust. What an interesting idea!
The point is that a lack of control over one’s own work is a serious workplace stressor. Leaders who micro-manage tasks or decree exactly how everything must be tackled build neither trust nor capacity. In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than having someone lurking over your shoulder second guessing everything you’re doing, interceding to make sure it’s done the ‘right’ way (read ‘their’ way).
When we give others the freedom to make decisions about how to approach the tasks in front of them we honor their capabilities and avoid unnecessary pressures. Trusting is not only a stress reliever, but a relationship and capacity builder.
Developing trust is a bit of a catch 22 situation. Do you grant it only after it is earned? Or do you assume it until proven otherwise? Maybe it’s possible to hold both possibilities in hand at once.
Stephen M.R. Covey sheds light on this issue in his book, The Speed of Trust. He notes that building trusting relationships with others hinges on two elements: character (positive intentions and a reputation for integrity) and competence (strong capabilities and a record of results).
ACTION:
What does this mean for the way we ease the load for others? For starters, we can stop meddling in situations where others have already proven their character and competence.
People grow and develop over time. The way we oversee and interact needs to adapt as trust is built. Backing off and letting go might just be the very best gift of all!
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him.” – Booker T. Washington
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Here’s a link to an article on ‘Smart Trust” by Stephen Covey based on the ideas in his book: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Speed_of_Trust.html
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
In response to the last message, ‘What Really Counts?’, Pause reader KE writes: I just finished teaching my course on the power of coaching and the science of positive psychology. We talked about different measures of success. Did you know that Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness? It’s a 30 year old policy and is soundly based on Buddhist philosophy. The British government recently announced that their office of national statistics will start measuring people’s psychological and environmental well-being, making it one of the first western countries to officially monitor happiness.
REFLECTION: In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
Tip number one advises giving the gift of trust. What an interesting idea!
The point is that a lack of control over one’s own work is a serious workplace stressor. Leaders who micro-manage tasks or decree exactly how everything must be tackled build neither trust nor capacity. In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than having someone lurking over your shoulder second guessing everything you’re doing, interceding to make sure it’s done the ‘right’ way (read ‘their’ way).
When we give others the freedom to make decisions about how to approach the tasks in front of them we honor their capabilities and avoid unnecessary pressures. Trusting is not only a stress reliever, but a relationship and capacity builder.
Developing trust is a bit of a catch 22 situation. (more…)
PAUSE -10.36- What Really Counts?
November 30, 2010
REFLECTION:
My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are?
Today I experienced a glorious nibble of success. I finished three pieces of jewelry. I scraped one piece-of-crap-ruined-jewelry into my metal recycling bin on my workbench. I went for a walk in the weather. I loved my husband. I connected with a few wonderful folks out there in the interwebs. I gave my cat a belly rub. I made a delicious pizza for supper and now I’m going to go eat it, with a glass of Malbec. I’m all about the quality in this life – to hell with the numbers (please do pardon my French).
This kind of day to day success is so delightful. It really is. What else could matter? Just live each day well, I say. Just do your best. The rest is not your business.”
ACTION:
There is a time, a place and a purpose for measuring, counting, monitoring. We just need to be clear that we are scoring and tracking the things that truly matter – in our work and in our lives at large.
What will you choose to keep an eye on today? Manage your attention with intention.
_________________________
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Be selective about your external influences.” – Brian Tracy
_________________________
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
If Jillian’s voice caught your attention, you might enjoy more of her take on life and work at: http://thenoisyplume.blogspot.com/
_________________________
READERS WRITE:
Two Pause readers comment on last week’s message on TAT (Turn Around Time).
EF writes: Thanks for sharing ideas to help folks stop, look and listen to what is going on in the fast track of life when we forget to build in turn around time.
KL writes: We just returned from a trip to Ontario which included a little work, visits with relatives, a wedding and a visit with friends. It was great, but as we were coming home my husband commented that we should have built in some down time. It wasn’t rushed or even too packed – just too many.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
As we mature, we continue to count. Only the objects of our affection or attention change. How many widgets sold? Clients served? Dollars banked? Gadgets owned? Miles traveled? This raises the question of what REALLY counts in life.
My niece waxed eloquent on this very concept in a recent blog posting. Jillian is a young entrepreneurial craftswoman currently living in Pocatello, Idaho. As a one woman shop, she’s making a name for herself in the world of web community and online commerce through her unique jewelry designs, novel photography and engaging writing. She notes the pressure to ‘make the numbers’. With Jill’s permission, I’m sharing her recent commentary on success.
“Which of these do you value more – quantity or quality? Success, for me, in this crafty world of mine, is when I enter into my creative space and perfectly translate a vision into metal and stone. Success for many others is in the numbers. Numbers of Twitter followers. Numbers of Facebook friends. Numbers of sales. Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!
Does any of that matter if you feel unfulfilled in your work? Does any of that matter if you aren’t true to who you are? (more…)
PAUSE – 10.34 – Purpose Packs Power
November 16, 2010
NOTE: A Big Box Bonus Bundle could have your name on it. Check the end of this message for details.
REFLECTION: Have you ever wondered if tapping into the ‘why’ of what we do makes a difference? Here’s a study that suggests it does.
Researcher Adam Grant, at the University of North Carolina put the thesis to the test. He divided employees at a university fund-raising call center (charged with raising funds for student scholarships) into three groups.
Group One read stories written by previous employees about the personal benefits of the call center job in advancing their own skills and knowledge. The stories also touched on how individuals had leveraged what they’d learned to their advantage in their own careers and grad school. (The Personal Benefit Group)
Group Two read stories written by scholarship recipients about how the funding they received as a result of the campaign had given these students better access to education. The stories described how the gift had connected them to fellow scholarship students, and helped them engage in important extracurricular activities. (The Task Significance Group)
Group Three simply continued doing their job as before – no stories at all. (The Control Group)
REFLECTION: Remember Goldilocks? I’m pretty sure you do. But just in case it’s been a while, here’s a ten second refresher. While strolling through the woods one day, GL waltzed into the the empty Three Bears abode and made herself at home. Chair? Too big. Too small. Just right. Porridge? Too hot. Too cold. Just right. Bed? Too hard. Too soft. Just right. The TB’s eventually returned to surprise GL, who leaped from Baby Bear’s bed and ran from the house.
Now, while I don’t condone Break & Enter or advise helping yourself to other people’s stuff, I think Goldilocks was on to something in her search for ‘Just Right’.
What, exactly, can we learn from GL about the challenges of stress in life and work? Don’t blindly accept what you stumble across first? Keep testing and experimenting till you find something that fits?
In my work with clients, I hear a lot about the problems of overloading – too much work, too many demands, too little time. For others, underloading triggers its own set of problems – pointless busywork, feelings of uselessness, time weighing heavy. Rightloading – that ‘just right’ solution – is a tricky place to find. (more…)
Boomers To Zoomers? Think Again!
November 5, 2010
There has been a lot of talk about generations and generational differences in the media and in the workplace. Over the last couple of years, along with millenials and Gen X and Y, a new word has wormed its way into the generational vocabulary: Zoomer.
As I understand it, a Zoomer is sub category within the Boomer age group (Boomers being those born between the mid 1940’s and mid 1960’s). The distinction appears to be that a ‘standard’ Boomer is someone on the decline – energy and involvement waning, aspirations dwindling, over the hill and coasting. In contrast, a Zoomer is considered to be someone who is fully energized, actively pursuing new goals, engaged in learning and exploring new territory.
I’m a proud Boomer with lots of life in me and ahead of me, and I find myself irritated by the word, Zoomer. I’ve come to understand it’s the word, itself, not the concept of long-haul vitality that gives me pause.
Synonyms for zoom include: buzz, speed, streak, whizz, flash. Zoooooom is all about moving fast and making noise. Showmanship! Razzle dazzle! Superficial, short-lived, flash-in-the-pan pizzazz!
At this stage of life with the hard earned maturity and wisdom we Boomers have at our disposal, we can do a LOT better than aspire to superficial zooming. We’ve learned what really matters – and the things that truly matter do not require running around like chickens with our heads cut off!
How about significance? Now there’s something long-lasting and meaningful – something that’s well worth pursuing.
Are you with me or against me on this? How does the Zoomer label strike you?
REFLECTION: Broker world peace. Jump-start the economy. Cure cancer. Eliminate poverty. Save the planet.
REFLECTION: Last fall, I gifted my grandson with a subscription to a popular children’s magazine. I received, in return, a postcard to send the little guy indicating that the magazines would soon be on their way. I mailed him the postcard and also told him what to expect.
REFLECTION: A fresh new year. A blank slate of days stretching forward. How best to use your time and your energy?
REFLECTION: As a way of celebrating the season of light and winding up each year on a thoughtful note, I’ve ended several years of Pause messages with reflections on one key word. Peace, joy, love, hope and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.
REFLECTION: In case you’ve missed the memo – or the endless media messages bombarding us daily – December is the one month of the year where giving is clearly top of mind. It’s no surprise, then, that I was intrigued by this first item on a list of tips for reducing workplace stress.
REFLECTION: My three year old grandson has learned to count. Everything around him is fodder for practice: fingers, books, days on the calendar. As he gets more proficient at counting, concepts like yours/mine and more/less are also popping to the fore. Who has more smarties? Who scored more points? The comparisons fuel both victory dances and mini meltdowns.
REFLECTION: Have you ever wondered if tapping into the ‘why’ of what we do makes a difference? Here’s a study that suggests it does.
REFLECTION: Remember Goldilocks? I’m pretty sure you do. But just in case it’s been a while, here’s a ten second refresher. While strolling through the woods one day, GL waltzed into the the empty Three Bears abode and made herself at home. Chair? Too big. Too small. Just right. Porridge? Too hot. Too cold. Just right. Bed? Too hard. Too soft. Just right. The TB’s eventually returned to surprise GL, who leaped from Baby Bear’s bed and ran from the house.
There has been a lot of talk about generations and generational differences in the media and in the workplace. Over the last couple of years, along with millenials and Gen X and Y, a new word has wormed its way into the generational vocabulary: Zoomer.