Reflection & Action: I caught a ride on a beautiful fall day with a cab driver who could easily have taken the grand prize for the world’s darkest outlook on life. In response to my comments on the freshness of the morning, the beauty of the autumn leaves, and the glassy calm of Wascana Lake, he responded in turn, “Frost last night – gonna make the harvest tough! Just reminds me winter’s coming! It’s never like that when I go fishing!”
I’m sure if he won a hundred thousand dollars in the lottery, he wouldn’t waste a minute celebrating. He would launch right into a litany of complaints about the uselessness of a prize that small!
Our mindset has a lot to do with our experience of the day. It is possible to shift from pure pessimism to a more optimistic response to life. It’s a matter of attention. What do you notice? What do you hang on to? How do you start your conversations with yourself and others?
As day’s end nears, and you shut down your computer, pull on your coat, or jump in the car to head home, ask yourself this simple question: “What went well today?”
Ask the same question of colleagues as you close up shop, and of family members as you gather for the evening. Yes, you’ll eventually get to the complaints, but at least the good news of the day will hold center stage and pride of place. That’s all it takes to start the shift of focus.
Quote Of The Week: “The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” – Eric Hoffer
Pause Readers Write: Pause Reader, Myrna B writes: About 6 months ago our family was struggling to accept a very serious health challenge for one of my siblings. At the same time a marriage was falling apart for another sibling. My parents were so focused on the problems that they seemed to be spiraling down a vortex of negativity. Some of us were feeling they had lost site of what was wonderful in the world.
My 74 year old Dad had just purchased a computer. In a conversation with Dad, I asked him to take a step back and think about what he was grateful for and what was wonderful in the world and then to email it to me.
You know, he emailed me the next morning. He emailed the morning after that …and the next…and the next. My Dad emails me every day to share what is great and wonderful in their world. I now have a journal with this collection that I can share with everyone. It contains many memories and important events that my family may have forgotten; and it’s all about all of us as a family. I treasure this because it’s given so freely, honestly and sincerely. My parents believe this commitment to share the positive has changed their lives.
PAUSE – 13.24 – Are You Present to the Presents?
June 19, 2013
Reflection: How present are you to the everyday gifts of your everyday world? That’s what I asked myself after last week’s activities. And, on reflection, I noticed that every experience brought with it something to savor.
Tuesday’s commitment – facilitating a team retreat – took me on a trek to north-east Saskatchewan – a 3 hour drive each way. I realized as I traveled, what a treat it is to cruise through the spring greening of the crops in the country. The sun in the sky, an interview with Joni Mitchell on the radio, fresh coffee at hand…it was beyond pleasant. The gift of a road trip!
The planning committee for Wednesday’s engagement (an Art of Insight presentation for the Leadership Saskatoon Alumni) went all out to make their guests feel at home. Personal greetings at the door, rose bowls replete with flowers and paint brushes on the tables, tasty nibbles, and a very inclusive welcoming atmosphere! The gift of hospitality!
On Thursday, I joined a group of close friends and colleagues for conversation and dinner. We’ve been meeting a few times a year for a decade to support each other in our lives and businesses. We problem solve, strategize, laugh, cry, and generally lift each other’s spirits. They are GEMS, every one of them. The gift of being known and appreciated warts and all!
Friday, I facilitated another team retreat. The session design was highly interactive. I learned again that when people connect deeply to each other and commit to the focus at hand, more energy is created than consumed. The gift of engagement!
If you’ve followed my Pause blog for a while, you’ll know that over the last few years, my Beginner’s Mind has been highly engaged in studying and learning about the world of art – sketching and watercolor painting, in particular.
A year ago, I turned the tables to pause and explore what painting has been teaching me about life while I’ve been learning about art. There was plenty to discover. Out of that experience, I created (and spent the last few months testing and tweaking) a new keynote presentation titled: ‘Live & Learn: The Art of Insight’.
The images are original. The stories are unique. The lessons are timeless – and applicable to every walk of life. But what’s even more significant is how this message can inspire you and your colleagues to mine YOUR everyday experiences for learning and insight.
I’m happy today to announce that Live & Learn: The Art Of Insight is ready for prime time. You can read a more detailed description on my website.
This could be just the original, thought-provoking (and highly entertaining) message you need to add a spark to your upcoming conference, professional development program, or retreat.
Give me a call (877-728-5289) or drop me a line (pat@patkatz.com) to learn more and book a date.
I’m very excited about sharing this fresh new message with you and your organization!
PS – If it’s not a fit for your group, please pass this link along to any other groups that come to mind! Many thanks and happy learning!
PAUSE – 13.23 – Are Curiosity & Discovery Top Of Mind?
June 12, 2013
Reflection: So here I am on a bright midsummer morning weeding in the front yard. Down the sidewalk comes a three old youngster on his tricycle with his mom trailing behind.
As they reach our front yard, Junior spots a shiny penny on the sidewalk. He hops off his trike, picks up the penny, and spends the next few minutes in a solitary game of Fetch – tossing the penny, retrieving it, and throwing it again. Eventually, it lands in the lawn. Lost!
No tears – just resignation – as magically, in place of the penny, a ladybug appears. He scoops the ladybug up in his hand and watches it crawl up his finger. With mom’s help, he masters the art of transferring the bug from one hand to another, until it spreads its wings and flies away.
No worries – there’s more to discover. The crows in the birch tree launch a caw fest. The little guy looks up to check things out, and his hat tumbles off his head onto the sidewalk.
Bending over to pick up his hat, he finds an earthworm. Dropping to his hands and knees, nose near the action, he patiently follows the worm’s wriggling progress from one edge of the walk to the other.
At this point, an airplane approaches. Junior jumps up, points it out to his mom and stands with his arm in the air tracing the aircraft’s path until it disappears from sight.
By this time, he has worked up quite a thirst. The little guy begs a sip from the juice box Mom holds at the ready, hops back on his tricycle, and off they go.
Over the course of 15 minutes, they moved a grand total of 15 feet. Not exactly a power stroll or roll! But, an extraordinary example of living and learning – approaching everyday experiences with a sense of curiosity and a spirit of discovery- with what we might call Beginner’s Mind.
Action: We were all beginners … once upon a time. (more…)
PAUSE – 13.22 – Who Needs A Mental Wealth Break?
June 5, 2013
Reflection: I’d had a busy couple of weeks with projects, commitments and deadlines on every front. When the calendar cleared last Wednesday, I decided to pause and step away for a mental wealth day. That’s the kind of day when you focus on making a few sizeable deposits in the sanity bank account.
I spent ten minutes in the office, cleared a few urgent messages, put an away message on my phone, and settled in to enjoy the open space.
As the day unfolded, I puttered in the garden, visited on the street with several of the neighbors, lunched in the sun on the back deck, napped in the hammock, chatted by phone with several family members, and simply enjoyed the fish in the pond, the birds in the trees, and the tulips in the flowerbeds.
A greeting card from my sister arrived in the mail that morning and set the tone for the day. The front cover featured a figure reclining in a hammock under the palm trees with these words: “Nowhere to go and all day to get there….” That became my mantra for the day!
I love that sentiment, it’s such a contrast to what we are more likely to experience in our everyday lives: “Everywhere to go and no time to get there!”
Action: Life doesn’t always lend itself to a mental wealth day. But, it may be possible to create a mental wealth moment or hour. And as you step into that openness of time, try breathing in the possibility that just for now, you have: ‘Nowhere to go and all day to get there!” (more…)
PAUSE – 13.19 – Keeping The Grunt Work From Grinding You Down!
May 15, 2013
Reflection: I spent much of last weekend in the garden. Raked the leaves out of the beds and corners. Mulched them with the mower. Added them back to the soil. Trimmed last year’s dead foliage from around the new growth on the perennials. Picked up the branches the winter winds stripped from the trees. Hauled perennials, buried in their pots, from the beds where they’d spent the winter. Hosed the spring dust from the trees and decks.
Do I love doing this stuff? Not really! As much as I try to approach it in a mindful way with an appreciative mindset, in truth, it’s dusty, dirty, back bending (sometimes back breaking) work.
What I DO love, though, is the result. It’s rewarding to see things set back in order once more; and it’s energizing to know that I’ve set the scene for good things that lie ahead.
I love the fresh growth, the new shoots, and the blatant optimism of bulbs which, having weathered the winter, push through bravely the ground. Most of all, I love the promise of color and beauty that lie ahead. And, that’s why I do the work.
I’m pretty sure – even if you’re not a gardener – that you’ve got plenty of grunt work in your world, too. Maybe it’s the demolition before a renovation. Could be something physical like a kitchen reno, or something cerebral like a remake on your business website. Maybe it’s the research legwork before launching a new product, designing a new program, or entering a new market.
Grunt work is rarely glamorous or engaging in itself, but it’s an investment that can take us someplace we really want to go.
Action: How do you pull yourself through the obligatory grunt and groan to the eventual great and grand? These four strategies can help: (more…)
PAUSE – 13.18 – So, Are You Happy?
May 8, 2013
Reflection: There’s nothing like a good question to draw attention to what makes life worthwhile. And, for the record, that question is NOT: “So, are you busy?”
Far too many conversations in our stressed out, revved up world start just that way. We connect with a colleague at work, bump into an old friend at the grocery store, or meet a neighbor on the street. Before we even think about it, we’re automatically asking, “So, are you busy?”
It’s a question that usually generates a lengthy recounting of activities done and undone. Recounting the proverbial to do list seems to be a common way to establish our value and justify our existence on the planet.
Oddly enough, when you ask people to consider what really matters in life, the things that show up most often don’t relate much to the stuff on those to do lists that we fret so much and sweat so often.
What’s most meaningful and energizing relates more to relationships, to adventure, to a deep sense of connectedness and purpose – not to today’s to-do’s.
Action: If that is where more meaning lives, why not change the focus of our conversations? Why not start asking each other these questions instead: (more…)
PAUSE – 13.16 – Where Might Imperfect Be More Than Enough?
April 24, 2013
Reflection: One of life’s great stressors is the drive to make things perfect. Sure, there are circumstances where perfection matters. Defusing a bomb and fixing an aneurysm come to mind.
Now, I don’t know about your world, but those tasks have never been part of my everyday life. As I heard someone observe recently, not everything we do is ‘rocket surgery’!
What I do see is a lot of time and effort invested in perfecting that last 10 or 20% whether it’s writing the perfect report or maintaining an immaculate home.
There is a time to improve our skills and advance our performance by applying a critical eye to the task at hand. But it will be a joyless painful journey if we are perpetually bent on perfection – ever at the mercy of a critical mind.
Poking holes in progress is a hurtful inclination if we don’t stop to embrace and appreciate where we have come from and what we have accomplished – however imperfect it may be.
Early in my attempts to paint with watercolors, I made a lot of mud – mud being the painterly term for ‘greyed out colors lacking contrast and shape’.
What I’ve come to understand is that many who do not paint themselves consider even minor mud a masterpiece. We stand in in awe of what others attempt, simply because we can’t imagine ourselves having the courage or skill to give it a try.
Don’t be too quick to discard, reject, or condemn the results of your own efforts. There is often a place for less than perfect outcomes. In fact, a certain quirkiness may bring value of its own.
Japanese potters practice the art of Kintsugi – mending broken objects by filling the cracks with resin sprinkled with powdered gold. They believe that objects with their own imperfections and history become more beautiful – not less.
Action: So, here’s a question to pause and ponder today. Where, in your life, might imperfect be more than enough?
Reflection: Oprah came to town this week. And, although I’m neither a devotee nor an uber-fan, I bought a couple of tickets for the show. I thought it would make a great mother-daughter night out (and it did). And, as a speaker, I was curious to see how she presented herself and what messages she chose to share.
Oprah excelled at creating an intimate connection with a crowd of 13,000 people. And that’s no easy feat! Some of that success springs from sheer familiarity. It also comes from her openness in sharing who she is, the road she’s travelled and what she’s learned along the way. And much is due to her ability to simply be in the moment. Who else would have the moxie or confidence to admit to that many people in that kind of setting that she’d chosen the wrong bra for her outfit of the evening?
Candor aside, one of Oprah’s strongest messages centered around the need for each of us to tune in our purpose in life. She noted that the threads of purpose show themselves early, and surface often. Even as a preschooler, she had plenty to say and the confidence to stand and deliver. Her grandmother observed, “That girl’s got a way with words!” That was her first thread. Others followed.
She got me thinking about the threads of my own life. I, too, was enthralled by words – an early reader who couldn’t get enough of books. I soon wrote my own poems and stories – the pre-courser to books that came later. I loved a platform and a stage – from oratory contests to chairing councils, clubs, and events. And, I lived to create things – hammering together ‘furniture’ from orange crates and peach boxes (yes, they were wooden back then), paint-by-number artwork, gardening, sewing, and on it went.
Looking back, it’s easy to see the parallel threads of communication and creativity. They were there, had I been paying closer attention along the way. At the time, the path forward never really seemed that clear.
Action: Daniel Pink describes three intrinsic motivators as central to our lives: a sense of purpose, the opportunity for mastery and, a degree of autonomy. Following the lead of the threads of our lives taps into all three.
Here’s an invitation for you to do a little weaving of your own. (more…)
PAUSE – 13.12 – Are You Still Tormenting Yourself?
March 27, 2013
Pop Up Problems
Reflection: I’m deep in the throes of redefining my business focus …. yet again! It’s a challenge that never goes away.
If I were to wager a bet, I’d guess you may have one or two of those sticky, rebound issues in your life, too – the kind that never really disappear! They fade into the background from time to time, only to raise their heads a mile or a month further down the road.
For 27 years now, I’ve faced the task of trying to describe what I offer in ways that makes sense to those who may have a need or an interest. Even though I’m a pretty decent communicator, I still find it a daunting task. Maybe that’s because I cannot resist editing, re-editing and editing yet again. What looked great yesterday, seems to always pale in the morning light.
Part of the challenge is that I’m working with a moving target. As I grow and learn, and work with clients, my understanding of problems deepens and my approaches shift. Whatever is expressed on the website or in program descriptions then becomes a reflection of what was – not what is now.
For a while, I wondered if the perfect expression lay just beyond my reach, and that perhaps my subconscious held the answer. I even tucked an index card under my pillow at one point that read, “In search of the perfect tag line!” No luck!
I recall a few years ago speaking with a wise and experienced colleague about my frustration. He laughed and asked, “Are you still tormenting yourself with that?” His point was this. You create your best description at the moment, put it out there, and get busy doing the work. Your clients and your community will know you by what you do – not by what you say you do!
Sigh! Could it really be that easy? Perhaps!
Action: I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person on the planet tormenting myself on a semi-regular basis! You probably have your own pet ‘toaster’ problems that keep popping up over and over again. (more…)
