stress

Reflection: It’s just another day in the flow of a busy life, but in the midst of it all ….

• I pull the morning newspaper from the mailbox and take a deep draw on the crisp November air.
• I sip my coffee as the sun paints the sky – first gold, then pink, then blue.
• I laugh at a story a colleague shares, and thank my lucky stars for his awesome sense of humor.
• I wait at the supermarket checkout tickled by a cart-bound toddler sharing a lively game of peek-a-boo with the next shopper down line.
• I play a board game with my grandson and marvel at the fierce concentration that plays across his handsome little face.
• I stand in the midst of a funeral gathering and watch the eyes of one old friend light up at the approach of another.

Life flourishes in these simple moments of presence. The cares and preoccupations of the everyday world fade into the background, shifting from front and center to the sidelines.

Action: What’s the nature of your experience these days? One giant blur or crisp sharp moments of presence?

These experiences are present every single day, but are we? The moments are all we really have. Don’t let them pass you by – unnoticed, unmarked, unappreciated.

Set an intention to be as present as possible as often as possible. Pause.

Quote Of The Week: Our true home is in the present moment. To be in the present moment is a miracle. – Thich Nhat Hanh

Resource Of The Week: Here’s an interesting article from Greg McKeown: Reduce Your Stress In Two Minutes A Day

Readers Write: In response to last week’s message, Go Ahead…Make Your Day, Pause reader MW writes: Your question as to how did I start my day was most timely to read. I usually start my morning swimming laps at 7 a.m. That is a great way for me to start my day even when it is -28 C outside. Last night, as I was setting my alarm clock, I debated about going swimming today. To do so I would have to be at the pool shortly after 6 a.m. to meet my other commitments for the morning.

But, I decided to go swimming early and am so glad I did. I do my most creative thinking as I am swimming laps and I had a brainwave for a creative project I am working on. Plus the swimming always revitalizes me and gives me the energy to get through the busy and stressful times.

Reflection: I woke up yesterday feeling just a tad overwhelmed. Does that ever happen to you? I’m guessing it probably does.

My tendency in earlier times would have been to vault out of bed, dive into the day and plow ahead on the tasks at hand. Hmmm…vault, dive, plow…not the most graceful approach to life!

Yesterday, I resisted the urge to frenzied action. Instead, I spent fifteen minutes on my yoga mat, savored my first cup of coffee, read from a book of inspiration, and made a few notes in my journal.

In particular, I noted things for which I was feeling grateful. Nothing too extraordinary on the list  – health, family, the internet, automatic washers (laundry, you know), and Roughriders headed to the Grey Cup.  Can you tell my mind was all over the place?

Knowing that a taxing day lay in wait, I also made a commitment to do something renewing for myself at lunchtime. A 20 minute walk in the fresh snow or a 20 minute nap – depending on my mid-day need and frame of mind.

Over the years, I’ve learned the power of investing in self-care…first! The day always goes better when you start by doing something kind for yourself. And, I’ve learned that we benefit most from this practice on those days when it seems we can least afford to take the time.

Action: So, how did you start today? And how will you start tomorrow?

What simple but significant acts of self-care and kindness might steady your mind, govern your pace, lift your spirits, and sustain you through the demands of the day that lies ahead?

Whatever it is…go there…do it! You’ll notice a positive difference all day long!

Quotes Of The Week: Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. – L. Frank Baum

Take time to take care of yourself, before time takes care of you! – Helen Cohen

Resource Of The Week: Looking for a few ideas on how to treat yourself more kindly? Scout out Cheryl Richardson’s book, The Art of Extreme Self Care (Hay House 2012).

And here’s a brief article on the same topic by Helen Cohen: 7 Ways To Effectively Practice Extreme Self Care.

Readers Write: In response to last week’s e-zine, Al Desko or Al Fresko, Pause reader SF replied: We really do lose out on so much by not taking a mid-day break. Some of my best ideas have been generated by chatting with a colleague over lunch (even a brown-bag lunch in a break room). I hope your calculation of working an extra 16 days a year helps put it into perspective for people. That’s more than two full weeks of vacation. Maybe we need to start calling it vacation hour instead of lunchtime.

Reflection: If you’re reading this on Wednesday morning, you still have time to make a date for lunch. Why do I mention it? Because it turns out that an astounding number of folks are eating Al Desko and not Al Fresko.

A recent poll found that 60 percent of workers eat lunch at their desks every day, while two thirds take less than half their entitled lunch hour. A quick math check shows those people are working (or at least sitting in front of their computers) an extra 128 hours (or 16 eight hour days) a year.

We’re discovering more all the time about the physical risks of too much sitting and too much desk time. When we closet ourselves away – brain glued to screen and bum to chair – we end up numbed on both ends.

Move around mid-day and you clear out the mental cobwebs and top the energy tank. You’ll return to your afternoon tasks with a fresh mind and body.

What’s keeping us glued to our chairs? (more…)

Reflection: Are there any life lessons you seem destined to learn over and over and over again? I know there are a handful that are very much alive in my world. I’m reliving one of them this week.

As I prepare for the December release of my new ‘Sketches of Saskatoon’ book, I find myself mired down in detailed marketing tasks, many of which I could have handled differently.

Had I been thinking and working a bit further ahead, I could have farmed out various tasks to others who have the experience, the resources, and the talent to handle them with ease. Alas, in the crunch and press of time, the opportunity is lost.

Maybe this happens in your world, too. You leave a project just a tad too long on the back burner. All of a sudden (or so it seems) it pops to the top of the list and you find yourself cradling a bona fide DIY (Do It Yourself) hot potato in your hands. (more…)

Sur Rue De Buci Paris

Reflection: The final week of my recent ‘Grand Pause’ was spent in Paris. It’s a city that’s renowned for its monuments (think Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe), its museums (think Louvre and Musee d-Osay), and of course its food (think buttery croissants and boeuf bourguignon).

Like any large metropolis, it also has a few downsides. Nonstop crowds of people and hordes of tourists (yep, I was one of them). Bikes, scooters, cars and buses all jostling for space on the streets. Honking horns and ‘ee-aw’ sirens day and night.

And still, in the midst of the commotion, there are places of peace and tranquility. The wide open spaces of public gardens – like the Luxembourg, the Tuileries, and Parc Monceau – are well used by the residents of the city.

Even more appealing to me are the many Parisian ‘pocket gardens’ tucked away in hidden spaces – just around the corner from the chaos of city life. You can find these tiny oases secreted away beside the National Archives, behind Notre Dome, on the western point of Isle de la Cite, and in countless other nooks and crannies sprinkled throughout the city.

These ‘parcs de poche’ as the French might call them are quiet, green, and frequented by individuals or small groups of two or three people who are clearly enjoying the peace and tranquility on offer.

Action: In the chaos and commotion of your daily life, where are your private parks – your points of pause and places of peace?

They could be anywhere. A bench in the atrium of a nearby office building. A corner in a public conservatory. A swing in a schoolyard or neighborhood park. A window seat looking outdoors from your local coffee shop. The lawn chair in your backyard.

Whatever and wherever they may be, keep them on your radar. Build time-out visits into your regular routine.

There’s much to be said for a pause practice that delivers a measure of peace and quiet in the midst of a crazy day and a chaotic world.

Quotes Of The Week:

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home. – Gary Snyder

Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow. – Edwin Way Teale

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike. – John Muir

And this chuckle by Demetri Martin is just plain goofy: I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”

Resource Of The Week: Do you or does someone you know need more convincing that downtime is essential? Here it is – signed, sealed and delivered – in this article from Scientific American: Why Your Brain Needs More Downtime.

Readers Write: In response to the last ezine, All Will Be Well, Pause reader CT writes: Thank you for your e-zine this week. My husband often tells me something similar: “Everything’s going to be all right”. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don’t; and yet he always seems to be right. I tend to catastrophize situations. Right now I’m at a low place. Things are not going as planned, and I despair. My head says I need to act on faith (as you put it) and stay the course, but my heart isn’t in the same place. Your reminder that “All will be well” was timely indeed!

Reflection: Stress…is it your worst enemy or your best friend? Given these recent studies, it may be time to rethink the relationship.

Study #1: People who experienced significant stress in the previous year had a 43% increase in risk from death – but this was ONLY true for those who believed stress was harmful to their health. Those who did not believe stress was harmful (even if they did have a lot of it in their lives) were no more at risk than low stress subjects.

Study #2: People who were trained to see stress symptoms (like pounding heart and faster breathing) as signs that their body was simply ‘taking care of business’ by responding in a way that could help their performance were less anxious and more confident. And, what’s more, instead of constricting and increasing the risk of heart disease, their blood vessels remained in a relaxed state (similar to someone responding with courage or experiencing joy).

Study #3: Each major stress event in a person’s life increased risk of death by 30% – except in the lives of those people who reached out to others. People who reported a lot of stress in their lives, AND who also spent time in the company of friends and family, or helped neighbors and others in their community, showed no increase in stress related death.

Action: So, are harmful effects from stress inevitable? (more…)

Reflection & Action: The motto of the University of Calgary (where I studied for my Masters degree in Continuing Education) reads  “MO SHUILE TOGAM SUAS”. It’s a Gaelic phrase taken from one of the psalms. Translated, it means: “I will lift up my eyes.” What an inspired call to action!

Participants in the seminars that I lead tell me their overloaded days are often spent heads down – not eyes up. With noses to the grindstone, preoccupied with tasks and details, they wade their way through each day’s responsibilities, fretting about the details.

If that’s true for you, try shifting that practice just a smidge. As you move through your day, take a moment here and there to lift up your eyes. Step out of the car – lift up your eyes. Step out of a meeting – life up your eyes. Tune in to the bigger picture and the reason you are about to pursue the tasks at hand. There is always a broader, higher, deeper purpose. (more…)

Reflection & Action:  Many of my mornings begin with a walk along the beautiful South Saskatchewan River valley, just two blocks from home. My route winds past a giant boulder on the bank. It’s the perfect perch for a moment’s rest and meditation.

I recently headed out on my morning stroll, anticipating a peaceful journey. As I turned the corner, headed to the river, I discovered that some aspiring street artist had decided our fence was the perfect canvas. We’d been tagged and I was furious! Now I needed that walk more than ever.

I arrived at the river – still smoldering over the graffiti – only to make a second discovery. ‘My’ rock had also been hit by a crew of performance artists. Broken beer bottles were their media of choice. So much for the peace of the morning. Now I was really ticked off! The nerve! The disrespect!

Only after two days of intermittent fuming did it occur to me that I could choose another response. I didn’t have to remain a victim – stuck in blame and fury. I could do something to move things forward. I grabbed the sandpaper, dustpan and broom. In less than an hour I’d cleaned up both messes and made something right in the world.  My two days of needless smoldering had wasted far more than one hour’s energy.

We always have options in every arena of our lives. We can serve up Misery Stew, wallowing in anger, frustration and despair over the careless actions of others; or we can channel that energy into creative solutions and get on with our lives. The choice is yours and mine.

Quotes Of The Week: “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Malachy McCourt

“The guy’s behaving like a jerk. How much power are you going to give him over your life?”  – Tristan Katz

“Life is a lot simpler than we make it.” – Cheryl Dougan

Pause Readers Write: Pause Reader Kathleen FD writes: My family experienced a major change with the sudden death of my younger brother. This led to a great deal of soul searching about what family means to me and how I could use this tragedy towards a positive experience. What I needed for myself and my family was more time outside of work. I approached my supervisor with a written proposal to take a cut in pay for a day off every week. This was a major request for an industry that does not embrace many of today’s ‘balancing work & family’ initiatives.

With the support of a very forward thinking supervisor, fellow staff and the owners, I have been living this arrangement for the past three years. I don’t even think of the money anymore. It has been replaced with time spent in my daughter’s grade one class, getting back to my sewing machine, and, yes, even stealing a few moments just to relax and read! Sometimes we just have to ask and be prepared to act.

Reflection & Action:  When I bought myself a bunch of flowers recently, the florist asked if I wanted a gift card to go with them. I declined, saying they were just for me.

“All the more reason to add a card, ” she declared. “I always write myself a card when I buy myself flowers.”

When I asked what she wrote, she replied, “Well, it depends on the day. Sometimes it’s … Thanks for being you. Other times it’s … Wow! You’re smart and gorgeous, too!”

We shared a chuckle. I left with the flowers AND a card in hand.

It was a simple reminder of an important lesson. The florist is someone who knows how to fill her own wellspring of appreciation. With her own spirits freshly topped up, she’s in a much better position to share her good will with others.

Do you take yourself for granted way too often? (more…)

Reflection & Action:  How much is enough? How much is too much? Negotiating reasonable loads is challenging. In fact, concerns about ‘unreasonable work expectations’ continue to top the list of complaints in my surveys on ‘frustrations with time’.

It’s not always someone else who creates overload situations. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies! However, those expectations imposed by others are also tough to handle. You may find yourself reluctant to say no and negotiate limits – especially when it involves those in authority.

It could well be legitimate that you have been asked or told to tackle a giant load of tasks. They may all be within your job description, assuming that you have one. However, not every team leader is skilled at determining workloads, and the expectation that anyone can accomplish anything and everything all at once is unreasonable. (more…)