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self soothing

PAUSE – 20.05 – How Are You Doing At Soothing Yourself?

May 6, 2020

Reflection: These last few weeks have been an anxious time for many of us, flooded as we are by a barrage of worries and concerns.

Pick your Coronavirus induced worry of the day: personal health, finances, cancelled plans, restrictions on freedoms, wellbeing (or lack thereof) in friends and family, a downward spiraling economy … the list goes on.

If you are struggling to calm yourself down, you’re not alone.

I’m reminded of the difficulties that small children face as they learn to calm themselves in the face of disappointments, rebound from minor accidents, or simply settle down to go to sleep.

One of the measures of growing maturity – from infancy through childhood and onward  is known as self-soothing – the ability to calm yourself in the face of distress.

In many ways, the depth of distress that Covid 19 has delivered our way is new to all of us. And, we’re learning all over again how to soothe ourselves in the face of worries that invade our minds at unpredictable times of day and night.

 

Action: If you’ve ever tried to comfort a distressed child, you’ll know that diving right in with reassurance and diversions is rarely the best place to start. We need first to simply be with them, acknowledge and hold them in their pain.

This applies to us as well. Acknowledging that we are hurting, and simply being with that hurt for a time is helpful.

Once we’ve named and owned our pain, we can open up to other practices that help us settle down. You might find a few of these helpful. I know I have. (more…)