purpose

Reflection: Oprah came to town this week. And, although I’m neither a devotee nor an uber-fan, I bought a couple of tickets for the show. I thought it would make a great mother-daughter night out (and it did). And, as a speaker, I was curious to see how she presented herself and what messages she chose to share.

Oprah excelled at creating an intimate connection with a crowd of 13,000 people. And that’s no easy feat! Some of that success springs from sheer familiarity. It also comes from her openness in sharing who she is, the road she’s travelled and what she’s learned along the way. And much is due to her ability to simply be in the moment. Who else would have the moxie or confidence to admit to that many people in that kind of setting that she’d chosen the wrong bra for her outfit of the evening?

Candor aside, one of Oprah’s strongest messages centered around the need for each of us to tune in our purpose in life. She noted that the threads of purpose show themselves early, and surface often. Even as a preschooler, she had plenty to say and the confidence to stand and deliver. Her grandmother observed, “That girl’s got a way with words!” That was her first thread. Others followed.

She got me thinking about the threads of my own life. I, too, was enthralled by words – an early reader who couldn’t get enough of books. I soon wrote my own poems and stories – the pre-courser to books that came later. I loved a platform and a stage – from oratory contests to chairing councils, clubs, and events. And, I lived to create things – hammering together ‘furniture’ from orange crates and peach boxes (yes, they were wooden back then), paint-by-number artwork, gardening, sewing, and on it went.

Looking back, it’s easy to see the parallel threads of communication and creativity. They were there, had I been paying closer attention along the way. At the time, the path forward never really seemed that clear.

Action: Daniel Pink describes three intrinsic motivators as central to our lives:  a sense of purpose, the opportunity for mastery and, a degree of autonomy. Following the lead of the threads of our lives taps into all three.

Here’s an invitation for you to do a little weaving of your own. (more…)

Pop Up Problems

Reflection: I’m deep in the throes of redefining my business focus …. yet again! It’s a challenge that never goes away.

If I were to wager a bet, I’d guess you may have one or two of those sticky, rebound issues in your life, too – the kind that never really disappear! They fade into the background from time to time, only to raise their heads a mile or a month further down the road.

For 27 years now, I’ve faced the task of trying to describe what I offer in ways that makes sense to those who may have a need or an interest. Even though I’m a pretty decent communicator, I still find it a daunting task. Maybe that’s because I cannot resist editing, re-editing and editing yet again. What looked great yesterday, seems to always pale in the morning light.

Part of the challenge is that I’m working with a moving target. As I grow and learn, and work with clients, my understanding of problems deepens and my approaches shift. Whatever is expressed on the website or in program descriptions then becomes a reflection of what was – not what is now.

For a while, I wondered if the perfect expression lay just beyond my reach, and that perhaps my subconscious held the answer. I even tucked an index card under my pillow at one point that read, “In search of the perfect tag line!” No luck!

I recall a few years ago speaking with a wise and experienced colleague about my frustration. He laughed and asked, “Are you still tormenting yourself with that?” His point was this. You create your best description at the moment, put it out there, and get busy doing the work. Your clients and your community will know you by what you do – not by what you say you do!

Sigh! Could it really be that easy? Perhaps!

Action: I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person on the planet tormenting myself on a semi-regular basis! You probably have your own pet ‘toaster’ problems that keep popping up over and over again. (more…)

Meewasin Skating Rink

Reflection: What’s your story? Everybody’s got one, or two, or three…or an endless supply!

For twenty years now, I’ve been writing a weekly column (13 years of Pause e-zines, and before that, 7 years of newspaper columns). Readers often ask me two questions, “Where do you get your inspiration, and aren’t you afraid of running out of ideas?” The answers to those two questions are, “Everywhere and No.”

Having an audience, a deadline, and an outlet keeps me noticing and tuned in to my surroundings. Material lives everywhere. Clients share problems, and program attendees ask questions. Ideas pop up as I browse the web, or leaf through books, newspapers and magazines.

But most importantly, things happen. Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of paying attention to everyday events as they unfold, and asking myself, ‘So What?’

Many of life’s experiences carry a bundle of insights and lessons. They’re accessible to all, if we pause to register the experience and mine the meaning.

You may not have a desire to write, or a platform from which to expound, so why would this matter to you? Because learning as we go creates a richer life experience. Because harvesting lessons on the fly keeps us from making the same mistakes over and over. And, because sharing the lessons brought by life’s experiences, gives us a way to mentor and encourage others – and remind ourselves.

The emotional tug of a great story makes a learning point more relatable and impactful. This is why organizations share stories of great customer service with their staff and clientele, and why they invest in building the storytelling skills of their leaders. This is why Aesop’s Fables and other stories have such a long shelf-life.

Memorable stories move people to thought and action – where mind-numbing lectures, endless statistics and tedious objectives fall short.

Action: Here are a handful of ways to improve your story finding and mining skills: (more…)

REFLECTION & ACTION: Have you ever promised those who are important in your life (including yourself) that you’ll have time for them soon? Soon is a nebulous time that never seems to roll around.

Setting targets can shift the balance. Try these approaches: Set one date a week with your partner, plan a special monthly event with each of your youngsters, hold Monday nights for a yoga class (no exceptions), or reserve Friday evenings as veg-out time.

Take the same approach in the professional arena. Don’t let promises to learn that new software program fall by the wayside. Book an appointment with yourself for the first half hour every Thursday and work your way through the tutorial 30 minutes at a time for the next six weeks.

Are you losing touch with colleagues or employees? Make lunch on Friday your plug-in point. Invite a different colleague to join you each week. Use the time to strengthen that relationship.

Choose what works for you. Create your own targets for connection, development, and renewal. Enter your target activities in your calendar and honor them as you would any high-priority commitment. (more…)

Reflection: Moment by moment, and day by day, decisions define our future.

Say yes to too many tasks with unrealistic deadlines, and time for renewal flies out the window. Sacrifice renewal and there goes access to a clear mind and creative thought.

Say yes to fast food or high cal snacks, and sound nutrition morphs into a hazy mirage on the horizon of good intentions. Sacrifice sound nutrition and there goes the capacity to maintain a healthy weight and robust energy.

Say nasty things in the heat of the moment, and key relationships start resembling beat up appliances in a scratch and dent sale. Damage too many relationships and there goes the support and the satisfaction that accompany quality connections.

Sure, we can and do make SOME of those less desirable choices without disastrous results. None of us are immune.

We just need to be aware of the multiplier effect over time. It’s a matter of balancing near term expedience with long-term consequence.

Action: Consider the long view as often as possible. Take any action and multiply it by ten, a hundred, or a thousand.

Then ask yourself this question: “Will more choices like that move you nearer to or further from your vision of the best life possible?”

Choose with care and an eye to the future.

(more…)

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. (more…)

Reflection: It’s in a backward glance that the patterns often show up. As I think about many things that have unfolded in my life, I can usually pinpoint one action, one decision, or one choice that launched me in that direction.

Saying yes to a summer job my first year of University introduced me to a line of work that ended up changing my college major in the near term, and my career direction over the long haul.

Agreeing to a coffee with a classmate at University led me to meet and later marry the love of my life.

Writing a letter to the editor of our daily newspaper led to an invitation to write a column, which in turn launched a weekly writing habit that led to publishing my first of five books.

Asking a friend what she knew about Masters’ programs led me to discover a brand new distance learning opportunity that was perfect for my work and life situation at the time.

First steps can point us in many directions. Some lead to an uphill climb and others to a downhill slide. Much of life’s progress or regress boils down to our moment by moment choices. (more…)

REFLECTION: Noting any burnout in your workplace or yourself? I’ve been dipping into a bit of recent research on burnout that suggests this phenomenon is not just a one trick pony – that there are at least three different forms that burnout takes.

The shorthand descriptions look like this. The Frenetic push hard and wear down. The Underchallenged grow bored and go numb. The Worn Out become discouraged and give up. Here’s a profile for each.

Frenetic folks are challenged by high expectations and limited resources – ambitious by nature. Those who respond in this way keep pushing themselves and others harder – redoubling efforts, refusing to acknowledge failure or limitations, neglecting health and personal lives, growing more anxious and irritable as time goes by. Recognize anyone like this?

Finding the work to be less than challenging, and experiencing very little personal growth or professional development because of it, the Underchallenged end up simply going through the motions. They don’t feel overburdened, just empty, and devoid of enthusiasm. Recognize anyone like this?

Noting a huge gap between effort invested and rewards received, and sensing they have little control or influence over the situation, the Worn Out back off on effort to match the disappointing level of reward. They believe that what they do doesn’t make much of a difference, and may appear apathetic and cynical. Recognize anyone like this? (more…)

REFLECTION: As a youngster growing up, I was lucky enough to have both of my grandfathers in my life. Grandpa Ole was a soft spoken Norwegian with the clearest blue eyes, a sweet slow smile, and an endless garden offering up the tastiest raspberries ever. Grandpa Jack’s eyes twinkled in perpetual amusement. With a smoldering pipe always at hand, he was quick with a quip to lighten the day.

I enjoyed my Grandfathers then; but I know I would enjoy their company even more now, were I able to share a visit and a cup of tea with them today. Too late, it seems, we come to the questions we might have asked about what really matters and how to make the most of the life that lies ahead.

I thought about the conversations I might have had with my grandfathers as I read the writing of Bronnie Ware, an Australian woman who spent many years working in palliative care. Bronnie recently published a book titled, The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying. Her message is based on what she learned from seniors looking back from the end of their lives.

It’s a message worth considering, wherever we find ourselves along life’s path, as a guide for how we might choose to spend the time yet in front of us – whether that be 10, 20, 50 years or more!

These are the top five regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. (more…)

In a world awash with media headlines, advertising slogans, bumper stickers, FB status updates, Tweets, and abbreviated OMG emoticons, it’s a wonder that complete thoughts still mean as much as they do.

If reader response to my ‘Quote of the Week’ section is any indicator, we continue to experience pithy ideas uttered or written by others as an opportunity to pause and ponder.

Earlier this month, I turned the tables, asking Pause readers to share their favorite quotes on balance and perspective with me. They did not disappoint.

And so, as promised, I share this contributed collection of inspiration – this bricolage – of words of meaning. A bricolage – my new favorite word – is something that is made or put together with whatever materials happen to be available. That’s a pretty apt description of all those quotes and phrases that hang on our refrigerators or bulletin boards, frame our computer screens, and adorn the tail end of our email messages.

I’ve chosen a baker’s dozen to share in the body of this e-zine. And, this link will take you to the complete collection of contributions. (Where sources were provided I’ve included them with the quotes.)

Thanks to all of you who took the time to dip into your collections and share your favs with the rest of us.

This will be my last Pause message of the year. I’m taking the week between Christmas and New Year’s to pause, relax and celebrate with family.

I’ll be devoting the first week of the New Year to a couple of specific creative projects. And, so, your first Pause e-zine of 2012 will appear in your In Box on January 11.

In the meantime, I wish you and yours the very best of the season – a time of warmth and fellowship. May you gather close and set aside your lists of things to do while you experience and remember what matters most in this wild and woolly world of ours. Peace, love, joy, hope and pause to you all.

PS – Here’s a link to our 2011 Katz Family Photo Review, if you care to take a peak.

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A Bricolage Of Inspiration

Via Alvina F:

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

Via Mo K:

Live so that they won’t have to lie at your funeral.

To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better. – Victor Hugo

Via Dawn M:

The world is wide, and I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. – Frances Willard

Via Cheryl W:

I can’t be happy every day, but at least I can be cheerful !

Via Stacy M:

Patience in the present, faith in the future, and joy in the doing. – George Perera

Via Lou M:

Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic. I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired. – Susan McHenry

Via Sherrill M:

I believe that for each of us, the presence of our being is the greatest gift we can give. Truly accepting and loving ourselves has a ripple effect beyond comprehension. – Courtney Milne

Via Susan E:

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.

Via Allan P:

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Via Janice T:

You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.

Via Debbie W:

Have a wonderful festive season and may your gifts of togetherness with family and friends be wrapped up with ribbons and bows!

Once again, here is the link to the complete collection of contributions .  Enjoy!