Can burnout really get this bad? Is the over-extended sandwich generation toast? Inquiring minds want to know.
At least you can smell burnt toast and you know what’s happening. Real life burnout is a lot more insidious.
‘Toaster Man’ courtesy of Pause reader JoAnn whose son Jordan Baraniecki is the creative genius behind the image.
PAUSE – 10.24 – Urgent … Or Not?
August 24, 2010
REFLECTION:
In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.
Thinking, perhaps, I’d unearthed a gem of remembrance, I dropped the film off at the photo counter at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart on my way home around 6:00 the next evening. The young woman behind the counter assured me that they did still handle that kind of film.
Then she immediately apologized that it would not be possible for her to turn the order around within the hour as she had several other jobs backlogged and was closing at 8:00. She further noted, again falling all over herself in apology, that she was pretty sure she could have the prints ready by noon the next day.
I laughed and reassured her that since the film had been hanging around for at least 12 years, I could easily wait a few more days – or even weeks for that matter. She looked surprised at my reaction. Apparently she serves a lot of people who have ‘last minute – must rush’ photo emergencies!
ACTION:
Have you noticed how our expectations about turn-around times have ramped up in recent years? Even tasks that hold no pressing deadline are presented or interpreted as obviously urgent.
Somehow we have it in our heads that tackling tasks at the last moment is a fact of life, that urgency and high performance go hand in hand, and that quality service is defined by speed and speed alone.
Pay close attention this week to expectations about task turn-around in your work and personal life. Don’t crank up the speedometer in situations where the task is less than urgent. Stop to ask about tasks shunted your way that appear to have ASAP labels firmly attached.
Chances are good that there’s wiggle room in at least some of the timelines. That extra margin might be just what you need to feel more in control of the load and less stressed by unnecessary ‘quick time’ expectations. And, committing that extra margin of time to tasks that really matter might short circuit a major last minute urgency somewhere down the road.
PS – Wondering about the pics from 1998? Turns out I had printed them before – images from a convention in Philadelphia and summer vacation at Waskesiu. Fun to see them again, anyway! The film cannister is now in the garbage!
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Apparently the proverbial Chinese and Greeks are in agreement in preferring patience over haste:
“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” Chinese Proverb
“One minute of patience, ten years of peace.” – Greek Proverb
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Seth Godin’s treatise on the shortcomings of urgency as an action default: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2005/08/hurry.html
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LAST CALL:
This is the final week to e-mail me a photo of your best smile – or someone else’s best smile. In September, I’ll pull together a shareable slide show/video to brighten everyone’s day. I’m loving the pics that have arrived so far. You will, too! Can’t wait to see your contributions!
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, The Maturity Advantage, Pause reader JJ writes: Your comments remind me of the need to be able to identify and separate real problems from inconveniences. My husband and I often use the term “6 o’clock news” (as heard in a speech by corporate comedian Mark Mayfield) as a way of forcing ourselves and each other to stop and think of the true nature of the issue.
Is this ‘issue’ something that would qualify as truly newsworthy: your child is lost at the mall or your
employer just went bankrupt. Or do you initially just perceive the ‘inconvenience’ to be more important than it really is: your child just spilled juice all over the floor or you are in a hurry and have to wait in a long lineup?
“6 o’clock news” helps you put things in perspective. I challenge you to try it out…next time someone around you is upset about something, just say “6 o’clock news” in a loud enough voice to make them stop and think. It has worked every time for us.
REFLECTION: In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.
Thinking, perhaps, I’d unearthed a gem of remembrance, I dropped the film off at the photo counter at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart on my way home around 6:00 the next evening. The young woman behind the counter assured me that they did still handle that kind of film.
Then she immediately apologized that it would not be possible for her to turn the order around within the hour as she had several other jobs backlogged and was closing at 8:00. She further noted, again falling all over herself in apology, that she was pretty sure she could have the prints ready by noon the next day.
I laughed and reassured her that since the film had been hanging around for at least 12 years, I could easily wait a few more days – or even weeks for that matter. She looked surprised at my reaction. Apparently she serves a lot of people who have ‘last minute – must rush’ photo emergencies! (more…)
PAUSE – 10.23 – The Maturity Advantage
August 18, 2010
REFLECTION: A few years ago things were in flux in my husband’s workplace. Many of his co-workers were concerned about the impact of potential changes on their lives. Dave refused to get bent out of shape. When one of his colleagues asked him how he could stay so calm in the midst of the commotion, he replied, “They can’t scare me. I’ve raised teenagers.”
It was a laughable response, but one that contains a seed of truth. Life experience, if you pay attention as you go, leaves a certain amount of perspective in its wake. You start to have a better sense of what really matters. You become more skilled at separating the real risks from the imagined catastrophes. You build confidence in your ability to adapt and cope with whatever lies ahead.
It’s a phenomenon that I call the Maturity Advantage. (more…)
PAUSE – 10.22 – Burnout & Meltdowns
August 11, 2010
REFLECTION:
I’ve been thinking a lot about burnout in recent days. Not because I’m feeling burned out myself, although I have been there more than once in the past. But rather because I’ve been digging back through results of the Overload and Overwhelm survey that I conducted not too long ago. As I dip into the responses to the questions I am struck again by the serious impact of O & O on health and well-being.
Over and over again, people mention the downward spiral triggered by too many expectations and too few resources. They describe the hopeless feelings associated with not being able to see – much less envision – a light at the end of those endless tunnels of activity. And much of what they are doing seems pointless.
Still I’m hopeful. While meltdowns may be imminent, they’re not necessarily inevitable.
One of the things I have noted over the years, is that burnout is not always related to the number of hours worked. Although long hours can be an indicator of problems ahead.
Meltdowns and burnout are just as often connected to feelings of hopelessness and pointlessness. It’s like we’ve lost track of any meaning that might once have been associated with the activities that fill our days. And so while we invest more and more energy we experience fewer and fewer returns on that investment.
And therein lies one of the main challenges: staying connected to the reasons why we’re doing these things in the first place.
ACTION:
The next time you find yourself or someone else swirling towards burnout or meltdown, see if you can dig deep to reconnect with the meaning and point of the activities at the core of your days.
Think back to earlier times in your career, and try to remember what you found so engaging about the work in the first place.
Pinpoint why these day to day activities once mattered to you and to those you serve.
Ask others who know you well what your everyday contributions mean to them.
Pay attention to the things that clients, colleagues and family appreciate. Take note of how what you do contributes to their success or well-being.
In short, see if you can rediscover the meaning in the answers to these three basic questions: Why this? Why me? Why now?
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“It is not how busy you are, but why you are busy – the bee is praised, the mosquito is swatted.” – Author Unknown
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RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
Need some more inspiration about tapping into purpose? Check out Richard Leider’s work on discovering the power of purpose on this website: http://www.inventuregroup.com/ The site’s On Purpose Journal section features many interesting articles.
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READERS WRITE:
In response to last week’s message, Go For The Grin, Pause reader ED writes: When I left to spend a year teaching English in Japan, a friend gave me a journal with this quote on it: ‘Everyone smiles in the same language.’ I found it to be so very true. The streets & trains that I frequented were full of tired looking people and smiles were seldom seen, but I made a point of smiling at people. More often than not they responded in kind. I didn’t speak their language but with the flash of a smile, something was communicated.
REFLECTION: I’ve been thinking a lot about burnout in recent days. Not because I’m feeling burned out myself, although I have been there more than once in the past. But rather because I’ve been digging back through results of the Overload and Overwhelm survey that I conducted not too long ago. As I dip into the responses to the questions I am struck again by the serious impact of O & O on health and well-being.
Over and over again, people mention the downward spiral triggered by too many expectations and too few resources. They describe the hopeless feelings associated with not being able to see – much less envision – a light at the end of those endless tunnels of activity. And much of what they are doing seems pointless.
Still I’m hopeful. While meltdowns may be imminent, they are not inevitable.
One of the things I have noted over the years, is that burnout is not always related to the number of hours worked. Although long hours can be an indicator of problems ahead.
Meltdowns and burnout are just as often connected to feelings of hopelessness and pointlessness. (more…)
Techno Dilemmas
June 16, 2010
Each time I write an e-zine message or post to the Pause blog about the place of technology in our lives, it generates a mega response. It’s apparent that people hold strong feelings on both sides of the fence and right down the middle, for that matter.
Today’s blog post by Peter Bregman at Harvard Business Review, Why I Returned My iPad, is also generating a lively set of reactions – both for and against. Bregman describes the seductive appeal of this new techno toy in his life, the impact his use had on balance in his life, and his challenges with turning it off or setting it aside.
What is just as interesting as his experience are the reactions – pro and con – of those who comment on his decision. This is exactly the kind of debate that we need to find the right balance of time in – time out when it comes to the place of technology in our highly connected lives.
Can burnout really get this bad? Is the over-extended sandwich generation toast? Inquiring minds want to know.
REFLECTION: In the process of clearing out the pigeonholes above the kitchen desk on the weekend, I discovered a Fuji Quick Snap film cartridge with the words ‘Summer ’98’ pencilled on the label. It’s impossible to tell with these little guys if the film has been developed or not, and I could not stand the suspense.
REFLECTION: A few years ago things were in flux in my husband’s workplace. Many of his co-workers were concerned about the impact of potential changes on their lives. Dave refused to get bent out of shape. When one of his colleagues asked him how he could stay so calm in the midst of the commotion, he replied, “They can’t scare me. I’ve raised teenagers.”
REFLECTION:
REFLECTION: I’ve been thinking a lot about burnout in recent days. Not because I’m feeling burned out myself, although I have been there more than once in the past. But rather because I’ve been digging back through results of the Overload and Overwhelm survey that I conducted not too long ago. As I dip into the responses to the questions I am struck again by the serious impact of O & O on health and well-being.
Each time I write an e-zine message or post to the Pause blog about the place of technology in our lives, it generates a mega response. It’s apparent that people hold strong feelings on both sides of the fence and right down the middle, for that matter.
