delight

Reflection: Sometimes it seems to me that the more we ‘know’, the tougher life gets. Our certainty about situations can lead to a hardening of the ‘heart-eries’, and ultimately more stress and frustration.

Certainty says: This is good and that is bad, or I am right and you are wrong.

Certainty can lead us to repeat the same actions with greater force and speed, exhausting ourselves as we create ever more disappointing results.

If you’ve ever been stuck in a snowbank and continued to step on the gas, certain that just a few more spins of the tires will be sure to get you out, you know what I mean. It doesn’t work. You simply dig yourself a deeper hole. Things get worse, not better.

A more helpful way of ‘c’-ing can be to substitute curiosity for certainty.

Curiosity leads us to look more closely at what’s happening or not happening and invites us to experiment in new ways with the potential for better – or at least different – outcomes.

Action: The next time you find yourself rooted in certainty, try being more curious about other ideas and ways of being. (more…)

My Thoughts: Well, truth be told, there is no Fred. It just rhymes so well, I couldn’t resist!

However, there was indeed a date with TED. On October 24^th here in Saskatoon, I delivered a TEDX talk titled: Lighting A Spark – Navigating Mid Life Malaise.

My gift to you today, is the link to that message. A click of either the image or the title will take you to the video.

What’s it about? Causes of malaise, common responses, a three-step process to help you navigate your way through life’s transitional fog, and examples of others who are making their way to what comes next.

Grab a coffee. Take a look and give a listen.

Your Thoughts: I hope the ideas in the video help you think more deeply about rekindling your own spark when your fire grows dim.

I welcome your comments, reactions and insights. Fire away!

News Notes: Since delivering this 17-minute TEDX talk, I’ve expanded the message into a 60-90 minute keynote. With more time, I’m able to explore how this issue plays out in organizations, how we can support others as they attempt to rekindle their sparks, and to share more real life examples of ways that people restore excitement and engagement to their lives. (more…)

My Thoughts: “It only takes a spark to get a fire going; and soon all those around will warm up to its glowing.” That’s the opening line of a tune by Kurt Kaiser that may be familiar to many.

Once upon a time, in a life long ago, I adapted those lyrics in the form of a friendship song for a summer camp that I directed. From time to time, that tune still shows up as an earworm in my brain. I don’t mind. The words still ring as true today as they did back then.

When you are excited about something in your world, when you have a light in your eyes and even a most modest fire in your belly, the impact (on you and others around you) is both positive and contagious.

Your Thoughts: What’s lighting up your life these days? And if things are feeling just a tad dark and chilly, where and how might you find a way to strike a spark? (more…)

My Thoughts:  Do you resist breaking into your happy dance – or cracking a big old toothy grin – until something REALLY important and UBER COOL happens?

If so, you’re missing out on a host of everyday opportunities to celebrate life’s good stuff as it marches on by.

So much is easily overlooked; but once noticed, it’s just as easily appreciated. I noticed these beauties perched on a shelf while waiting for lunch in Café Arabe in Marrakech. BUT, you don’t have to go halfway around the world to get the point or the picture.

Your Thoughts:  Why not get on it today? Right where you are!

Train your mind and your eye to catch and celebrate life’s small and beautiful – actions, things and experiences. They’re right here – right under your nose.

Now go ahead. Don’t be shy! Let loose your grin and your happy dance! (more…)

My Thoughts: As you close a written message, perhaps you (like me) occasionally use the phrase: All the Best.

I recently looked at those words as I typed them on my screen and paused to consider what they really meant.

I know the phrase expresses my good intentions and positive wishes.

I also know that ‘best’ doesn’t refer to designer clothes, high-end cars, or big time paychecks.

The quote expressed in the image above does a pretty decent job of capturing the meaning: “The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way.”

Your Thoughts: As we move through the halfway point of summer, how can you best use your time and your resources to appreciate the people you love, enjoy the places you visit, and make more memories along the way?

News Notes: (more…)

Senanque Abbey Lavender

Reflection: What do you see when you look around? Burdens and responsibilities or delights and opportunities? And how much of a difference might it make if you could put a little distance between yourself and those everyday demands?

Vacations and time out matter. Not only for the richness of adventure and creation of new memories, but also for the perspective that comes with distance. Re-entry, after a time away, brings with it the opportunity to appreciate everyday life anew.

In our recent weeks of adventuring, we discovered that the Hermitage in St Petersburg holds some amazing artistic treasures. The fields of lavender and sunflowers in Provence are every bit as compelling in person as they are in pictures. The sounds of Paris are like nowhere else in the world – with the wha-wha of police sirens overlaying the bells of Notre Dame.

And now that we’re back, we’re finding that our time away changes our experience of being here. (more…)

My Thoughts:

Much energy is given to contemplating the idea of a bucket list – the aspirations we have for those once-in-a-lifetime experiences (like sky-diving, canoeing the Amazon, or visiting the pyramids).

There’s nothing wrong with thinking and dreaming big. The challenge is that so much of our everyday life plays out on a much smaller scale.

Because of this, Jennifer Louden recommends writing yourself a Thimble List. That’s a list of tiny thrills and joys that you want to experience often – things like:

• surprising a client with an unexpected kindness
• savoring a bowl of juicy strawberries
• sharing laughs and adventures with a two year old
• reading a great novel while stretched out in the shade

Ticking items off the bucket list is great; and engaging in small pleasures can be every bit as satisfying.

Your Thoughts:

Pause for a few minutes this week with pen and paper in hand.

Start your very own Thimble List. Post it somewhere to prompt you to take advantage of those everyday opportunities for joy.

News Notes:

Travel Plans – Most years, my husband and I usually plan our travel adventures for ‘off season’. This year, we’re trying something different and adventuring across the pond to experience the height of summer in points European. While we travel, I’ll be taking a month-long hiatus from creating these messages. Look for your next Pause ezine in your mailbox on July 22.

Malaise News – Thanks to all who offered their opinions on possible titles for programs on the topic of malaise. These phrases were amongst the top runners:

• From Bored to Restored
• Engagement Is An Inside Job
• Spark A New Journey
• Moving Through & Moving On
• From Tired To Inspired
• From Deflated to Elated

Although I haven’t yet settled on the final title, your feedback was very helpful in sorting the list and advancing the cause. Much appreciated!

Reflection: It’s nine o-clock on a Saturday. (Sounds a little Billy Joel-esque, doesn’t it?) However, it’s morning – not evening – and there’s not a piano in sight.

I pull into the parking lot behind the building where I’ll be attending a meeting scheduled to run till 3:30 that afternoon.

A commissionaire is already on hand writing a parking ticket for some poor soul. As I step out of my car to feed the meter for the day, he calls across the lot asking, “Are you staying long?” “About six hours,” is my reply.

He stops writing the ticket, and crosses over to tell me that there are a couple of meters in the lot that aren’t working. If I park at one of those, I can do so all day long for free.

He suggests I get back in the car, and he’ll guide me to one of the freebies. I do, and he does.

I express my thanks. His reply, “Glad I was here to help you out!” And off he goes.

As I turn the corner from the parking lot headed for my meeting, Billy (not his real name) approaches. (more…)

My Thoughts: 

At one time or another, I’m sure that every parent has ordered a child to ‘Go Outside and Play’.

Translation: stop whining, get some fresh air, and work off some of that misdirected energy.

What if we took that advice to heart ourselves? What if outside meant more than just outdoors?

Suppose outside meant outside our cares, outside our concerns, outside our everyday habits of life and work.

And what if play meant more than riding a bike or kicking a ball?

What if play meant entertaining new ideas, connecting with new people, or trying new things?

Your Thoughts:

Go ahead. Give yourself permission to go outside and play this week!

• What threshold will you step over?
• What world will you explore?
• What difference could it make to your well-being?

News Notes: Big thanks to the 425 of you who have invested the time and responded to the Survey On Malaise. I’ve taken a peak at a few of the early comments and am excited about analyzing the results.

If you’ve been meaning to weigh in, but you’ve been suffering a bit of malaise or overload in your world, there is still time to express your opinions. Survey closes April 30^th. So hop on over today and share your views.

PS – You are most welcome to share the link with colleagues or friends whom you think might also have some valuable input or appreciate a chance for some guided reflection on the concept of malaise.

Mom’s Day Special:
Looking for a Mother’s Day gift to honor a mom in your world? Books last longer than flowers.

Gift her with copies of Press Pause…Press On and Press Pause…Think Again. She’ll appreciate the inspiration and remember your thoughtfulness as she makes her way through the easy reading pages. Each book features 64 of the most impactful Pause messages interspersed with quotes, anecdotes and
sketches as well.

This link will take you to more complete info on the books, including sample excerpts. On the info page, the Duo Deal#1 link will let you place your order for the twins.

PS – For every order placed before May 10^th, I’ll toss in a complimentary copy of the booklet, Take A Break.

My Thoughts:

Kazantzakis suggests we already have at hand what we need to create a more ideal future.

Could it be that our own lack of vision or lack of action are all that may be holding us back?

Your Thoughts:

What’s your vision of Paradise? What’s already at hand that could move you in that direction?

What’s your next step? And, when will you take it?

News Notes:

Uninspired. Unsettled. Uneasy. Lifeless. Restless. Joyless. Stuck. Have you been there?

I’m talking about malaise – that generalized feeling of being ‘out of sorts’. It grinds away and wears us down, robbing our lives of spirit, energy and joy.

As I mentioned in last week’s Pause, I’m doing some writing and programming on the subject of malaise.

Experience tells me that the more deeply I understand a phenomenon, the stronger my work, and the more helpful it will be to others.

To that end, I’m inviting you to weigh in with your thoughts and experiences. This link will take you to an online Survey on Malaise that will take 5-10 minutes to complete.

I’m most grateful for your help. A thousand thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom.