burnout

Reflection: What does the phrase, Truth and Reconciliation, mean to you? I’ve always associated the process with large-scale social issues. However, I’m beginning to see how it could apply to our attempts to create more balance in our everyday lives.

The concept first came to my attention (and maybe yours, too) during the mid ‘90s in news from South Africa. Over the course of several years, public and private hearings gave citizens a forum to air the truth and trauma of their experiences under the apartheid regime.

Here in Canada, a similar process is underway at this very moment, as First Nations people share the impact of their experiences with the residential school system.

In both cases, the intention is similar: to heal deep wounds and build a more inclusive, equitable, respectful future.

In our daily lives and workplaces, T&R might apply in situations like these. (more…)

Reflection:  Chances are good that the last time you meandered through the tall grass or took a stroll in the woods, your pants and socks picked up more than a few sticky burrs. They’re those pesky seeds that eagerly stick their claws into you, and hitchhike a ride from there to who knows where. The very same critters that inspired Velcro.

Attacked by burrs is how I feel these days as I move through my office, our home and the garden. Each time I turn around, it seems another undone task insinuates its way into my consciousness, stakes a claim on my brain, and plants a hook in my mind. Answer this email, finish that article, call that client. Fold that laundry, fix that appliance, clean that corner. Fertilize those plants, prune those shrubs, pick that rhubarb.

Most time management references advise keeping a series of lists on which you place all of the items clamoring for your time and energy. Then you focus your attention and narrow down the list by choosing your priorities for the week and the day. Neat and tidy, eh? Still doesn’t account for the attack of the burrs!

It’s true, writing things down does minimize the mental reminders (‘Remember this, don’t forget that!”) that trampoline their way through your brain. And prioritizing does focus attention. However, I still notice the undone as I move through the day, and am oh so easily hooked on my way by.

Action: So, here’s my new practice: catch and release! I figure if it works for anglers, it could work for someone angling for a new take on a sticky situation. (more…)

Reflection: There may be many things worse than ‘not knowing’ or ‘living with uncertainty’, but as one of life’s stressors, it’s got to be high on the list.

I recently received a query from a Pause reader who is part of an organization in the midst of downsizing. Although she, herself, knows that she will continue to have her job, many co-workers find themselves in different circumstances.

For those who have learned that they will leave, there is some sense of relief in being in the know – and being able to start making plans.

Others do not yet know their fate, and may not know for some time. A few have learned they will need to compete for their own positions. For these individuals, the situation is precarious. She wonders how to support her colleagues who find themselves in limbo.

There’s no one size fits all answer to that question. Different people respond to uncertainty in different ways. Some are devastated and immobilized by it, while others take it in their stride. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

It can be tough to be a bystander in the lives of others who are hurting, and not sure how to help.

Action: Should you find yourself in this kind of situation, here are a handful of helpful practices to undertake yourself and encourage in others. (more…)

Reflection: It took a while to resolve the puzzle of the resounding Thunk. Turns out there’s a robin trying to fly through our living room window.

From his perch on the bare-branched mountain ash tree, Buddy spends about an hour a day launching himself again and again at the very same window – with exactly the same result. Thunk! Drop! Back to the tree!

He’s done this for more than a week now. In fact, even as I write this message, the Thunk, Thunk, Thunk continues.

Now, I’m not a bird whisperer, so I can only imagine what he’s thinking – or even if he’s thinking. Bird brains are notorious for their small size. Is Buddy trying to fly through the glass to land in the branches of the hibiscus tree in the living room? Is he seeing his reflection, not realizing it’s his mirror image, and protecting his territory from what he perceives to be a challenger to his robin-hood? Is he just looking for a decent place to take a bath? I have no idea.

I do know that we’ve tried to discourage his behavior. (more…)

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. (more…)

Reflection: If you’ve ever tried to change the culture or direction of a group, you’ll know how tough it can be to get everyone on board – rowing, driving, marching (pick your metaphor) in the same direction.

A few years ago, as president of a national association, I found myself repeatedly attempting to convince a couple of naysayers that the direction the Board had chosen was one of value and the ‘right’ way to go. The options had been debated, the decision had been made, and the train had left the station. However, I was still stuck at the rear urging a couple of reluctant individuals to jump on board.

I was fortunate enough to be counseled by a colleague experienced in the ways of change, who advised, “Pat, move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough.”

Those words rang true at the time, and I often call them to mind. Just last week, in a professional development session I delivered on Building An Appreciative Culture, an attendee asked, “How can we convince the lone wolf naysayers and grumps that it’s better to strike a more positive tone?” I found myself echoing my colleague’s advice, “Move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough!”

Now, sometimes there are legitimate concerns. And, sometimes there are other issues to work on or other directions to consider. And, sometimes, people are, at heart, all right with heading in the same direction; they just want to take a different route to get there. Things aren’t always black and white.

That said, there does come a point where it is simply time to get on with things. (more…)

Last week’s meandering about the place of advice in our lives (Pause 12.10 – Ce M’Est A Vis) really struck a chord with Pause readers. Rather than try to excerpt just one comment for the Readers Write section of this week’s Pause message, I decided to provide this link that summarizes the reactions. You’ll also find a lively commentary of post-backs at the end of the Blog post for the same message.

Thanks to all who took the time to write and share their views. Special thanks to a couple of my Francophone readers who so kindly corrected my French noting that the title phrase should actually read: “C’est Mon Avis”. I’m always grateful for those who are able to fix my errors. And, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that the Old French source (circa 1300) would have evolved to something more current.

Enjoy the read!

JR writes: Ce m’est a vis was… brilliant!  Best quote and resource of the week ever!  Who is more expert in advising me about my life and career than the person who created them in the first place?  I find, when the ship’s taking on water, my internal muse goes mute, and I flail for a friend’s PFD rather than buoying myself up with my own truth.  Thanks for this very timely reminder. (more…)

REFLECTION: I am all too aware of the irony of what I am about to say. That’s especially so, since I’ve made a career of offering advice and counsel on all kinds of issues – from time and organization, through stress and balance, to encouragement and appreciation. And, since I regularly hear from readers and clients how highly those ideas are valued, I have every intention of continuing.

Still, here’s the thing. There are days when I find I’ve had it with advice! It’s not so much the offering of advice – although there are times when I do grow tired of listening to myself talk or write. It’s more the seeming streaming nonstop nature of external advice that swirls and flows around me. Some days I experience that more as bombardment and less as encouragement.

It’s an interesting state of affairs for someone who likes words and loves ideas. But, I find there are days when I literally want to shout, “Enough Already!”

Facebook posts run rampant with recycled wisdom in the form of ‘words to live by’ and in the jazzed up form of quotes turned mini-posters. On quote-heavy days, a quick scan of the FB News Feed leaves me with ‘motivational whiplash’.

Newstands and magazines overflow with how-to, where-to, and why-to cautions and admonishments.

Our local paper even features a quote of the day as part of the header on the Obituary page. That seems just a bit too late in the game to qualify as a word to the wise. (more…)

REFLECTION: It’s bright and early Sunday morning, and four year old grandson is on the other end of the phone – brimming with enthusiasm and bubbling over with news.

“Guess what I’m having for breakfast? Toast with jam and TWO slices of cheese. Orange and white cheese – marble cheese. Marble, that’s funny! And, Mommy made me a Smoothie, too. It is SO good. And, you know what she bought yesterday at the grocery store? Cheese strings. THOSE are my favorite. And, I’m watching the Cat In The Hat video. And he’s bouncing on the bed. I like to do that, too. AND, I get to go swimming today! Budda (that’s what he calls me), I am having a VERY Lucky Day!”

That nonstop monologue turned MY groggy morning into a very Lucky Day. How can you NOT smile in the face of that kind of exuberance?

Enthusiasm is infectious. And if you have to come down with something, enthusiasm beats other viruses, hands down!

There’s no doubt, as adults, we have serious things to deal with. Yet, there are times when I know I complicate my life more than is necessary. Maybe you do, too.

What a wonderful insight from the realm of childhood – to be reminded that it is possible to light your fire with things as simple as a tasty morsel, a thoughtful gift, and an activity that is calling your name.

ACTION: What would it take for you to declare today a Lucky Day? (more…)

REFLECTION: Perhaps, someone made a thoughtless comment that harpooned your heart. Or, maybe you’re stuck on a business problem and frustrated that there seems to be no good way through. Or, you learn that your financial situation has taken a sharp turn for the worse.

It’s just these kinds of experiences that can amp up the stress in your life – even triggering a self-catered pity party of colossal proportions.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to find a simple way to respond to the angst and find a way to see clearly once more? Of course, practices like meditation, visualization, and the ever-reliable ‘take it for a walk’ approach can bring long term results.

However, what could you do in the heat of the moment to keep from getting burned? In his research on the management of stress, Don Joseph Goewey discovered that hanging on to fear and frustration make it difficult – if not impossible – to recognize more peaceful, positive strategies for handling the challenging situations of the moment. Goewey offers a Clear Button strategy that just might help. (more…)