burnout

Auberge De La Fontaine Balcony

Reflection: What are YOU waiting for? Something exciting? Something unnerving? Something uncertain?

In the days leading up to Christmas my five year old grandson was beside himself with anticipation, “I can’t wait to see what Santa brings me!” But, of course, he could and he did, because there was nothing to do but wait – no way to hurry the day.

My daughter is nearing the end of her pregnancy. As her due date draws near, she waits. And we wait, too. Babies take their own sweet time.

In an effort to balance the budget, a major local institution announced that jobs will be lost. Forty in January and more in April. And so, hundreds of people wait to find out whether any pink slips bear their names. They’re not in control of the timing or the decisions, and short of jumping ship in advance, there’s no way to hurry a resolution.

The challenge in the midst of the waiting game is one of staying calm. Of course, good things (like babies and gifts) are easier to await. Other things – not so much. In fact, big issues like potential job losses or major health challenges are serious indeed.

However, when the challenges aren’t that gargantuan or obvious, drumming your fingertips and scanning the skies for a sign can still be unsettling. WAIT (Why Am I Tense?) is a good question to ask. Your answers may suggest some ways to cope. What often stresses us out are the potential bad news stories we tell ourselves about things to come. Getting a handle on those is a first step. (more…)

Frosty The Snowman - Compliments of 5 Year Old Grandson, Ethan

For the last few years, I’ve devoted the final Pause message of December to focusing on one key idea.  Peace, joy, love, hope, kindness, and grace have all taken their turns in the spotlight.

As 2012 winds to an end, I find myself grateful for so many of the people and events of my life. And, so, gratitude steps forward to take its turn center stage.

The work of positive psychologists, like Martin Seligman, stresses the impact of gratitude on our sense of well-being. Even in the toughest of times, if you can find small blessings for which to be grateful, you can reset your emotional thermostat for comfort. That means less sweating it out in the heat of the moment and less shivering when life turns a cold shoulder in your direction.

I hope you enjoy reflecting on a few of my favorite quotes on gratitude. May you and yours find many reasons to be grateful at this time, and more throughout the year that lies ahead.

Thanks for staying tuned to the Pause message, and for sharing these ideas with family, friends and colleagues. Catch you on the flip side of the new year!

Appreciatively Yours, Pat

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. – William Arthur Ward

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. – Maya Angelou

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. – Colette (more…)

Reflection: Clients tell me all the time that the most difficult challenge in the midst of overload is to know where to focus your attention and how to keep it there. Tasks seem equally important and there are lots of them in play. It’s easy to find yourself bouncing around accomplishing little or nothing at all – an experience that adds to the overwhelm.

When this happens to you (and this is one of those seasons when overload runs rampant), it’s time to practice chiaroscuro. What, you say? Chiaroscuro? No, you don’t need to know how to spell it or pronounce it, you just need to know how to use it.

In the world of art, chiaroscuro is a technique that highlights the main subject in the foreground, while shifting the lesser details into the shadows. When applied to a painting for instance, your eye may wander through the entire image, but because of the high contrast your attention repeatedly returns to the main event.

It’s a formal term for what my most recent art instructor told me would strengthen my watercolors. In his words, “Show more gumption with your darks.” And truly, when you add contrast, when you force a few elements into the background, the main focus pops to the fore. (more…)

University Bridge - Saskatoon

Reflection: Awfulizing: The act of blanketing an event or circumstance with a black cloud, assuming the absolute worst, and actively driving mind and heart into a downward spiral of doom. Been there? Done that?

Some time ago, I wrote about the concept of Discretionary Burdens – worries which may or may not be real. The DB’s are a common outcome of awfulizing. The DB idea generated a strong reaction, which prompted me to develop a DB quiz and work it into my presentations on stress, wellness and balance.

I thought you might enjoy checking your own practices for DB tendencies. Give yourself 1 point for each question to which you can answer ‘Yes’.

1. Have you ever exploded one small comment or action into a great big hairy deal?
2. Have you ever turned something you like to do into something you have to do?
3. In the absence of information have you ever made up your own?
4. Have you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on an ordinary day, and wondered who is that miserable so and so and who peed in their cornflakes?
5. Have you ever translated a whiff of unsettling news into a full-blown disaster scenario?

Scoring Code: The closer to 5, the greater your awfulizing tendencies and the more you could be stressing yourself out unnecessarily. (more…)

Reflection: Meet Gil and Soto. They run the Breakfast Room at the Best Western Arroyo Roble in beautiful Sedona, Arizona. It’s a busy spot with travellers coming and going – solo business folks in a hurry, retired couples with all the time in the world, active families in hiking gear eager to hit the red rock country trails.

Over the years, I’ve stayed at a number of ‘breakfast included’ hotels. The quality of the food has varied, but what has been pretty consistent is the lackadaisical, ‘I’d rather be anywhere else than here’, atmosphere set by the staff who manage the service.

That’s what makes Gil and Soto stand out. In the midst of the busy morning press (greeting guests, answering questions, orienting new comers, replenishing food trays, clearing tables), they are unfailingly smiling, welcoming, and helpful.

On our last morning, I told Gil how much I appreciated the way he and Soto went about their jobs. He commented that he’d learned a thing or two over his many years in the workplace. He noted that coming to work with a smile on his face and a desire to be of service to others makes all the difference in how people respond and in the way he experiences the pressures of the work itself.

(more…)

Stuck? We've all been there sometime!

Reflection: One thing for sure about the many roads of life is that no matter where you are in your travels, someone has been down that path already and someone else is just taking a first step along the way. On any given journey, we may find ourselves the experienced travel pro or the novice at the starting gate.

Whether it’s struggling with a new leadership role in the workplace, trying to figure out how best to parent a headstrong teenager, or coping with a time of life when everybody needs you – or when no one seems to need you – someone, somewhere has already worked their way through that puzzle and out the other side.

I was thinking about this the last time I took a painting workshop from my first mentor in the world of art, Cecelia Jurgens. Cecelia is a very accomplished artist and an equally encouraging instructor. Along with the samples of her current work (always inspiring), she occasionally brings along a few of her earliest sketchbooks (equally inspiring).

I’m sure Cecelia would agree that, compared to where she is now in her career, the work in those early sketchbooks isn’t quite as accomplished. And, THAT is exactly what gives those who are just starting out along the path hope that their skills, too, will grow and develop. (more…)

Reflection: There’s more than enough confusion to go around these days. Options and opinions abound. It’s easy to be pushed by a persuasive argument, or shoved by a compelling assertion.

In the face of it all, the central questions are really, “How do YOU feel?” and “What do YOU think?” And how best do you tap into your beliefs and choose actions that fit with the values you hold to be important?

The answer is not more input, it’s more insight. And insight is mostly an inside job that involves disengaging from the commotion around us while tapping the core within. Clear head…clear path.

Action: If you don’t yet have a regular mindfulness practice – something that helps you stay aware of what’s going on in your body and your mind – there is still time to develop one. (more…)

Reflection: A recent movie featuring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman popularized the idea of the Bucket List – a set of experiences you hope/plan/long to have before you die (AKA ‘kicking the bucket’). Bucket Lists tend to feature splashy adventures and stretch experiences – the things that dreams are made of!

I actually find another bucket metaphor equally intriguing.  It’s an idea put forward by authors Rath and Clifton who suggest that each of us owns an invisible bucket and an invisible dipper. As we move through our lives, we are constantly filling or draining each other’s buckets of positive emotion – based on what we do and say.

We can top up another’s bucket with a positive comment or drain their bucket with a thoughtless action. Our interactions with others are rarely neutral – and those actions reflectively enhance or diminish our own levels in the process. As in, filling another’s bucket tops up our own bucket, too. And vice versa.

A full bucket generates positive outlooks and plenty of energy. An empty bucket spawns sour outlooks and gorbs of apathy.

Action: I like the image and I appreciate the idea. However, I suggest we take it one step further. (more…)

Reflection:  It’s October, and the geese are marshaling along the river. In the pre-dawn of my morning walk, I hear them long before I see them. Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! You’d swear you were approaching a major traffic jam on a morning commute in a congested city anywhere in the world.

Until, that is, the birds take to the air. At the break of dawn, one by one the gaggles of geese leave the river heading for greener pastures and points south.  As they lift from the water, wave after wave of syncopated wing beats sound just like a powerful ovation at the end of a fabulous performance.

It was one of the passing regulars along my walking route who brought it to my attention. In the midst of an especially long ovation, she greeted me with a cheery smile and this comment, “Nice of the geese to applaud our exercise program, don’t you think?”

This made me smile and wonder how often we take our own accomplishments for granted, and whether we might be missing other opportunities for small celebrations of things that are going right in our world.

You may find, that some days it’s tougher than others to keep on keeping on: to get out of bed in the morning, to tie on a pair of shoes and get some exercise, to tend to the relationships in your life, to deal with yet another set of challenges at work or at home. And yet most of us do what we need to do – day after day after day – often taking our own contributions for granted.

About a year ago, I started intentionally collecting and creating ideas for how we might do a stronger, more consistent job of celebrating some of our own success. And today, I’m delighted to announce (cue the geese) the launch of a brand new booklet called, Take A Bow – 67 Ways To Pause For Applause, Celebrate Your Success, And Keep Your Spirits High. You can read more about it in the Resource Of The Week section below. (more…)

Reflection: Have you ever found yourself hoping against all hope, that a great big honking chunk of open time would drop into your lap?

Well the chance of a bonus hour, day or week presenting itself is slim. And so I continue to be intrigued, when people tell me that their lives could be so much better and happier IF they just had more time – time to exercise, time to eat right, time to take a vacation, time to visit with friends, time to get the jump on a project at work or at home.

I’m starting to believe, that it’s more about the choice than it is about the time. You know we’ve all got the same 24 hours. Nothing new there.

Still, every minute of our day we make choices that are either expeditious or auspicious. Expeditious: dispatched with speed and efficiency. Auspicious: conducive to future success. Expeditious and auspicious aren’t always in conflict, but neither do they always lead to the same outcome. In both cases, consequences follow.

You’re late. So you toss your partner a harried ‘See you later’ over your shoulder instead of pausing to exchange a warm embrace and loving kiss. Time diff: 30 seconds.

You’re hungry. You grab a bag of potato chips and flip the lid off the high cal dip, instead of making the extra effort to dig further into the fridge for that bag of ready-to-eat carrots. Time diff: 1 minute (more…)