Reflection: What role are Teflon and Velcro playing in YOUR life?

Rick Hanson suggests that we add unnecessary stress to our lives by coating ourselves with Teflon for positive experiences and comments. We let the good stuff slide right off and disappear.

At the same time, we cover ourselves with Velcro for negative experiences and comments. We let the negatives sink their hooks into us. That makes it tough to shake them off.

According to Ruth Baczynski you can tell that Velcro is governing your life when you are quick to take offence, feel hurt and withdraw, or get angry and pick a battle.

In her view, we need to be less hyper-reactive – to jump less often to conclusions, to manufacture fewer crises from minor incidents, and stop letting ourselves be hooked by imagined slights.

Action: Pay close attention to your tendency to get hooked. Talk yourself down from those ledges of your own invention.

You can also approach it from the other side and cultivate a practice known as ‘Highlight & Dwell’.

In this case, you scruff up the Teflon, and reach out for the positives that show up. You highlight them by shining a light and pointing your attention their way. And then you dwell on them – focusing and savoring the good stuff.

Grab two sticki notes and jot these phrases down: Teflon or Velcro? Highlight & Dwell.

Post them where you’ll see them often. Keep these ideas in front of you as you make your way through the week, sloughing off the tough stuff and savoring the good.

Quote Of The Week: Do yourself a favor. Overlook at least two things today. MJ Ryan

Resource Of The Week: For more on how you and your mind benefit from savoring the good stuff, see this article by Rick Hanson: Be Mind Full Of Good.

Readers Write: In response to my recent message, Short Circuit Second Hand Stress, Pause reader VR writes: Thank you for this article. There has been way too much drama in my life, for a long time. I had been blaming myself and assuming responsibility for all of that drama until I realized that I wasn’t causing it, but I was enabling it. The result has been a whole lot of negative stress. It had to stop. I now believe that I am recognizing the drama when it comes my way and have been trying to deflect it by choosing not to participate.  A family member often says: ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’.  Good advice.